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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
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How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
The past 2 years they never had homework on the weekend. Now one of my boys is getting homework on Friday and the it is not fair has already started. Simply saying Life's not fair, is not really working. We also tried explaining to him that since they have different teachers their are different rules and different assignments. That is really not working either. We try to get the other to read when the other is doing math, but they each know if they have homework and if they don't since they write it in their planner at school each morning.
This then makes getting the homework done even that much harder.
DH wants to ask the teacher if she can give him Friday homework on Thursday, so even though he will have more to do at least it won't be on the weekend. Last year we knew all of the weeks homework at the beginning of the week.
Any other suggestions?
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Posted 9/17/12 1:07 PM  |
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nrthshgrl
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Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
I think you may be headed down the wrong road asking the teachers to give homework on Thursday. It may work for right now but they have a long road ahead of teachers may not be willing to give out the assignments earlier. Particularly because some teachers are hoping to get students in the mode of doing homework nightly. I loved the teachers who gave the packet for the week!
I don't get what's not working. Is the one refusing to do his homework or just giving you a hard time? Because that's expected. It's one of those life isn't always fair kind of things.
I liked the idea of getting the one to do reading while the other one finishes.
Message edited 9/17/2012 1:36:56 PM.
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| Posted 9/17/12 1:36 PM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
Its the flipping out, refusing to do the homework, going to time out, then trying again and he is ******** and moaning and DH is getting annoyed. All in all it is taking 3x as long to get the homework done. If we wait and put it off to later their meds have worn off so it is even a harder struggle to get him to sit down and do the homework. I figured it would eventually be an issue, but I didn't think in second grade it would be. I still didn't think homework would be every day yet.
I also wasn't sure if DH should talk to the teacher about it or just deal with it, but it is easier for me to day deal with it since I don't do homework with them, lol.
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| Posted 9/17/12 2:36 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
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Karen
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How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
I would just make it a house rule and if one has homework the other is reading. They'll get over it. What happens when they have homework during the week and one finishes first? IMO, I definitely wouldn't ask the teacher to change the day she gives out homework. That would be teaching them they can "bend" the rules if they do not like something.
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| Posted 9/17/12 3:12 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
Posted by Michelle
Its the flipping out, refusing to do the homework, going to time out, then trying again and he is ******** and moaning and DH is getting annoyed. All in all it is taking 3x as long to get the homework done. If we wait and put it off to later their meds have worn off so it is even a harder struggle to get him to sit down and do the homework. I figured it would eventually be an issue, but I didn't think in second grade it would be. I still didn't think homework would be every day yet.
I also wasn't sure if DH should talk to the teacher about it or just deal with it, but it is easier for me to day deal with it since I don't do homework with them, lol.
I've been there with the flipping out, "I can't do it, I can't do it" and with the medication wearing off & it taking ten times longer. DH & I used to tag team each other just so we didn't lose our tempers (not always successful, btw).
If he has homework on the weekend, I would let it go for Friday or do the easiest thing on Friday. Maybe try giving this a shot (as with my own parenting, I'm making this up as I go along  )...I'd sit down with him Saturday am under the guise of "surprising Daddy". Then when he tells Daddy his homework is done, ALL WEEKEND long, mention it, let him hear you talking on the phone with someone about how responsible he was & how impressed you are, tell DH to do the same, etc. It may enough to get him to want to do it all of the time (and repeat the performance the first 3 weekends if you have to).
What is his homework that he has the most difficultly with? For my son, it was writing in his journal. For some reason, committing it to paper was his stumbling block. So he used to tell me what he wanted to write, I'd write it down & he'd copy it back into his notebook.
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| Posted 9/17/12 3:21 PM |
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PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
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Ms. Brat
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
I have a kid who does that every single day. The rule here is when I can't take the tantrum any more he loses the privilege of doing the HW at home and it returns to school incomplete. I also email the teacher to let her know what went down and to make sure their will be consequences. Once he realized that he would be doing unfinished HW at recess he changed his tune at home. There's still a lot of whining but it gets done.
I tell the parents of my students to do the same and I support them by making sure there are consequences at school.
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| Posted 9/17/12 3:30 PM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
Posted by KarenK122
I would just make it a house rule and if one has homework the other is reading. They'll get over it. What happens when they have homework during the week and one finishes first? IMO, I definitely wouldn't ask the teacher to change the day she gives out homework. That would be teaching them they can "bend" the rules if they do not like something.
I don't want there to be no homework that day, but just that he has 4 days to get 5 days worth done. Last year it really worked out well that we knew the whole week and if we had an issue one day, we knew we could get it done the next day, just double up. Especially if we had something going on that prevented them from getting the work done. If we went out to dinner, or out after school for something.
Maybe I will ask the teacher about what happens when it is not done. I do know that my other sons teacher said homework is not supposed to be 30 minutes of yelling and crying, if this happens, send it back with a note and they will work on it the next day. He is in the inclusion class so there is someone that can do this with him, not so in my other son's class who gets more homework.
He really is not learning anything when put in time out and he is flipping out, but at the same time I hate to let him get away with the bad behavior. Problem is I can totally understand why he deems it unfair, because in reality it is, but they have different teachers and different assignments, etc.
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| Posted 9/17/12 4:51 PM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
Posted by nrthshgrl
If he has homework on the weekend, I would let it go for Friday or do the easiest thing on Friday. Maybe try giving this a shot (as with my own parenting, I'm making this up as I go along )...I'd sit down with him Saturday am under the guise of "surprising Daddy". Then when he tells Daddy his homework is done, ALL WEEKEND long, mention it, let him hear you talking on the phone with someone about how responsible he was & how impressed you are, tell DH to do the same, etc. It may enough to get him to want to do it all of the time (and repeat the performance the first 3 weekends if you have to).
What is his homework that he has the most difficultly with? For my son, it was writing in his journal. For some reason, committing it to paper was his stumbling block. So he used to tell me what he wanted to write, I'd write it down & he'd copy it back into his notebook.
I will try this since we have not done the friday homework yet. Sometimes it is all in the approach.
Last year it was his journal that was horrible, but they have not done that yet this year, math homework seems to be the big blow up. Not that he is not good in math but he started coming home with math homework the first week and my other son didn't until the end of last week. So he has this thing about math homework no and how they should both be doing math homework each night.
Even though this might not be fair to my other son, but maybe I will copy some math worksheets and have him practice math facts on the days he doesn't have math homework, doing extra math homework never hurt anyone.
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| Posted 9/17/12 4:55 PM |
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BargainMama
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How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
I don't think its unfair at all. Some teachers assign the homework differently than others. Unfortunately with the one child in special ed. And the other in GE, the homework is likely always going to be different in terms of quantity. Since its Friday homework, he has Saturday and Sunday to get it done the morning while the meds are still in his system. My son knows he does not get ANY screen time (tv, video,computer ) until its complete. Weekend or not. Maybe try a reward system.
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| Posted 9/17/12 9:13 PM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
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How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
It's not to just different teachers it's also inclusion class versus a non inclusion class. In a non inclusion class there is no one else to do homework with them. I agree with Patsbrat, Let the teacher know what's happening. In elementary school teachers and disappointing teachers are far more intimidating than your parents. Use this to your advantage, now, before they become middle schoolers and have no fear. Please don't get me started on homework packets for the week and that not holding educational value.
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| Posted 9/17/12 9:36 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
My son had the easy teacher last year, not so strict, not so much work and he was happy as could be....until this year when his friends who had the other teacher last year came out way ahead of him on his math and reading scores....who is being cheated? The one with the easy teacher or the one with the tough teacher?
At the end of first my son was a top reader now at the beginning of third, he is a low reader.....totally cheated by the "nice" teacher.
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| Posted 9/17/12 10:58 PM |
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Erica
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Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
Mine are two years apart, so I'm not sure if this would work, but I have a basket of different activities for the younger one to do when there is no hw for him and there is for #1.
You might need to contact the teacher that gives less HW and explain the situation and tell her he will be bringing in extra assignments just to keep the peace at home.
Do you have a reward system at home? Maybe doing hw on a weekend gets an extra sticker or whatever the system?
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| Posted 9/18/12 9:23 AM |
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firsttimer
Member since 5/07 1532 total posts
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
This is an issue that needs to be settled at home, and in my opinion, asap.
Whether one has a written assignment from their planner or not, establish a fri afternoon rule ( or whenever is good for you) and have both kids sit down together and do work. Print out some worksheets from the Internet or go to a lakeshore learning store and provide something for your other child to do to prevent arguments.
There will be days, weeks etc when this will happen often and it will get worse as they get older. It is part of life and part of school and it is your responsibility as parents to ensure work gets done.
Sorry if this is not what you want to hear but by asking the teacher to make an exception for your child, teaches your child a poor life lesson.
Kids will get more he on weekends as they get older and have to learn to manage their time.
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| Posted 9/18/12 1:05 PM |
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
I like the idea of making the other one read or something.
I'd set aside 15-30 minutes each day for homework and/or reading. Whatever is enough time for both. I'd set a timer and if DS1 isn't working, the timer stops. If DS2 is working and finishes fist - so be it.
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| Posted 9/18/12 7:46 PM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
Posted by firsttimer
Sorry if this is not what you want to hear but by asking the teacher to make an exception for your child, teaches your child a poor life lesson.
I just don't get how I am asking for the teacher to make an exception when he will still do the homework, just one day ahead?
In 2nd grade, I also don't think they need to have math work every night, to keep them busy.
We also don't medicate on the weekends, so having them do it on the weekend is hard. This weekend we did it on Monday and worked out a reward, going forward we will see if the homework again is different on the weekend and decide from there. We will definitely have the one without read.
Other thing is they are both general ed students, one just happens to be in inclusion, so not sure why they should have less homework.
They also both got reading logs that have to be handed in weekly in the middle of the week, so one will always have that to do, even if it causes one to go ahead in the log, or at least to make the other think they are doing homework.
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| Posted 9/20/12 12:11 PM |
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BargainMama
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
Posted by Michelle
Posted by firsttimer
Sorry if this is not what you want to hear but by asking the teacher to make an exception for your child, teaches your child a poor life lesson.
I just don't get how I am asking for the teacher to make an exception when he will still do the homework, just one day ahead?
In 2nd grade, I also don't think they need to have math work every night, to keep them busy.
We also don't medicate on the weekends, so having them do it on the weekend is hard. This weekend we did it on Monday and worked out a reward, going forward we will see if the homework again is different on the weekend and decide from there. We will definitely have the one without read.
Other thing is they are both general ed students, one just happens to be in inclusion, so not sure why they should have less homework.
They also both got reading logs that have to be handed in weekly in the middle of the week, so one will always have that to do, even if it causes one to go ahead in the log, or at least to make the other think they are doing homework.
It's making an exception because maybe she doesn't have the homework prepared a day in advance?
Homework isn't about keeping them "busy". It's a reinforcement of what was taught in class that date. Honestly it sounds like you are upset about the homework, but unfortunately they will always have homework, especially in 2nd grade. It will be every night, and often on the weekends as they get older. So with all due respect, if you have a poor attitude about it (or your husband), that will just reflect onto the kids and make things 100 times harder. There are 10+ more years of homework!
Also, I was under the impression that your child was the classified student. In your child's case, there wouldn't be less homework as a general ed student, just because he's in an inclusion class. Usually the classified kids get less homework assigned by their special education teacher (depending on their needs). That would have nothing to do with your son though. Homework is up to the discretion of the teacher, so all classes are not going to have the same homework, ever. His teacher probably just assigns less. It's just one of those "life isn't fair things".
Message edited 9/20/2012 12:48:28 PM.
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| Posted 9/20/12 12:47 PM |
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mommyof3girls
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2773 total posts
Name:
Sue
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
It's making an exception because maybe she doesn't have the homework prepared a day in advance?
Homework isn't about keeping them "busy". It's a reinforcement of what was taught in class that date. Honestly it sounds like you are upset about the homework, but unfortunately they will always have homework, especially in 2nd grade. It will be every night, and often on the weekends as they get older. So with all due respect, if you have a poor attitude about it (or your husband), that will just reflect onto the kids and make things 100 times harder. There are 10+ more years of homework!
Also, I was under the impression that your child was the classified student. In your child's case, there wouldn't be less homework as a general ed student, just because he's in an inclusion class. Usually the classified kids get less homework assigned by their special education teacher (depending on their needs). That would have nothing to do with your son though. Homework is up to the discretion of the teacher, so all classes are not going to have the same homework, ever. His teacher probably just assigns less. It's just one of those "life isn't fair things".
ITA!!!
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| Posted 9/20/12 4:13 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
Posted by BargainMama
It's making an exception because maybe she doesn't have the homework prepared a day in advance?
Homework isn't about keeping them "busy". It's a reinforcement of what was taught in class that date. Honestly it sounds like you are upset about the homework, but unfortunately they will always have homework, especially in 2nd grade. It will be every night, and often on the weekends as they get older. So with all due respect, if you have a poor attitude about it (or your husband), that will just reflect onto the kids and make things 100 times harder. There are 10+ more years of homework!
Also, I was under the impression that your child was the classified student. In your child's case, there wouldn't be less homework as a general ed student, just because he's in an inclusion class. Usually the classified kids get less homework assigned by their special education teacher (depending on their needs). That would have nothing to do with your son though. Homework is up to the discretion of the teacher, so all classes are not going to have the same homework, ever. His teacher probably just assigns less. It's just one of those "life isn't fair things".
Well said. This is just the beginning for you. There's no way things will always be "equal" for your boys as they go through school, so you may as well just accept it, let the boys know you SUPPORT it (instead of looking for ways around it - that's just going to make your life difficult going forward), and it's just the way it is.
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| Posted 9/20/12 7:56 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
Posted by Michelle
We also don't medicate on the weekends, so having them do it on the weekend is hard.
Having been there, I can tell you that it's actually not such a bad thing to give him the opportunity to focus without being medicated. It's harder on the parents definitely but I'd have more patience to do some homework unmedicated on the weekend than to try to get him to do it during the week when he's coming off it, emotional & not able to settle down from a long day of school but needs to go to bed. (not sure if we have the same medication or medical condition but this is from my experience).
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| Posted 9/20/12 10:25 PM |
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stephaniea
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1280 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
I would let him suffer the consequences of not doing the hw. I got so tired of my kids complaining that I used to pack up their books and let them explain to the teacher that they didn't want to do it. I can understand if there is too much given (I have a child who struggles tremendously) but not simply because his sibling doesn't have any. It takes my son hours to study just to pass and he hates it. I let him know that it does stink but that is just the way it is. Actually he is my hardest worker out of my 3 kids because he has to be!
Message edited 9/21/2012 4:45:13 PM.
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| Posted 9/21/12 4:43 PM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
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Re: How to handle one getting hw on the weekend and not the other?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Michelle
We also don't medicate on the weekends, so having them do it on the weekend is hard.
Having been there, I can tell you that it's actually not such a bad thing to give him the opportunity to focus without being medicated. It's harder on the parents definitely but I'd have more patience to do some homework unmedicated on the weekend than to try to get him to do it during the week when he's coming off it, emotional & not able to settle down from a long day of school but needs to go to bed. (not sure if we have the same medication or medical condition but this is from my experience).
Normally doing the homework unmedicated would be fine , it take him more time to do it, and harder to get focused on it, but coupling this with the him being upset about it, is a bad recipe. He actually winds up getting nothing out of the homework and then it really just become busy work to him. Getting them to the homework in the right framework makes it a pleasurable experience and not only that, something he is learning from and making the homework not pointless.
Also - just to add, I certainly do not tell him or act in any way that the homework is not needed or he should not have to do it or that is is in some way unfair. I am just trying to get some advise on ways to help him and help me. Especially since I have been told by teachers in the past, homework is not supposed to be kids crying and parents yelling. And that it should only take at the most 30 minutes, which includes the 15 minutes of reading each night. This has not been the experience for us on some nights, and certainly was not what we experienced with them last year before they were medicated.
I understand that life will not always be fair and they should just learn to deal but IMO, it is a bit to early to tell them to suck it up. Especially since I don't want to have them hating school and hating homework and creating a vicious cycle. Having seen what was happening last year before they were diagnosed and how crying was a normal homework occurrence, I just don't want to fall back into that cycle again. Making homework torture for my kids and my husband is not what I am looking for, and I am thinking the teachers don't want that to be the fact either.
Either way they both seem to have homework this weekend, and there are several things that have varying due dates that they have a week for one thing to do, then 2 weeks for another so it seems llike there will always be something we can have one of them sit down to work on if they have no nightly work for that night, including a daily reading log.
Message edited 9/23/2012 8:22:15 AM.
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| Posted 9/23/12 8:19 AM |
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