How would you handle this - toddler discipline question

Every single time we discipline DS - whether it's "don't touch that" or "that's not yours" - he immediately says "up, up" and wants to be picked up, and gets very upset if we don't.

In my mind he wants us to hold him as a reassurance that we're not mad at him, but I also think it's slightly manipulative since very often, he will demand to go "down" as soon as we pick him up.

I have tried getting down on his level and just hugging him and talking to him but he still demands "up." I don't think we should - neither does DH - but we don't know what to do instead.

Re: How would you handle this - toddler discipline question

I walk away from DS when he does this. I feel like HE thinks a hug, or picking him up makes it ok to be bad. I feel like its the only way he MAY get it. He doesn't like it at all.

Re: How would you handle this - toddler discipline question

I dont know if this is going to answer your question specifically or not..

When DS is behaving badly and warrants a time put we put him in his "corner" and tell him to stay there for the required amount of time. DS for the most part is pretty good about taking his punishment and will stand in his spot head hung in shame (It's both sad and hysterically funny at the same time). On occassion, as we bring him to time out, we make him walk there, he will try to get us to pick him up all the while saying "no mommy please no mommy"...both of which we ignore. When we go and get him out of time out we get down to his level, make eye contact, explain to him why he was in timeout, get him to say "Im sorry" and he then gets a hug....

Re: How would you handle this - toddler discipline question

Re: How would you handle this - toddler discipline question

Sometimes Ryan will get mad when we tell him no and will want to be want picked up. I just walk away and continue whatever it was I was doing. Sometimes it makes him even more mad, but I let him "cry it out". He eventually moves on.

Re: How would you handle this - toddler discipline question

Claire does this sometimes. When she does it varies, sometimes we pick her up and I tell her that she can't do XXX. Then I give her a kiss and put her down. I know she gets the message and I'm not taking any of the efficacy out of my message.

If she tries it for a time out, I tell her she has to do her time first

Message edited 5/11/2010 8:41:29 AM.

Re: How would you handle this - toddler discipline question

DS sort of does this too now. If I tell him "No Drawers" or "Hands off, please" he'll stomp angrily and then come throw both arms around my legs in a hug.

I've been trying to stop this by telling him to stop the behavior (down on his level) and then walking away. He inevitably chases me but forgets about whatever he was doing. That's been working for us

Re: How would you handle this - toddler discipline question

Saying no does mean you are angry. He is doing damage control by saying up, and once he sees he fixed it, he wants down. Save the picking up for praise. If you say no wh reassurance it doesn't really get the message across....