I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

Any bedtime routine went out the window. He is completely different now.

He has always been a big hugger and loved sitting on my lap, but now its twice as bad.

i am at a loss. I put him in the crib and let him go out it with the yelling. 40 minutes. still did not go to sleep. He doesn't cry, just yells for me, like a scream. I have upstairs neighbors and downstairs, they must think he is being beat.

that was night 1, he only went to sleep after that because I laid down with him.

night 2, went on for even longer.

night 3, Leo was home and wanted me arrested for neglect.

The little boy I watch views the crib completely different then Josh. His mother wants him to put himself to sleep, so for his 2 naps, he CIO for a few minutes. What Josh does is completely different. He doesn't cry, just this horrible yell.

then middle of the night, he wants me. not part of Leo, just me. I said I will leave him in there and see what happens.

jumped out of his crib. put him back in the next day, jumped out again.

so now, I have a bed on the floor, his room is bare and a gate at the doorway...last night he kept waking up wanting me to hold him. If we co slept, I know he would sleep throughout the night with the one feeding..

help

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

It is tough, but I would stick with it. I wouldnt start co-sleeping now. He is having a tantrum and eventually he will figure out he has to sleep in his room.

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

thanks. I am sooooo into this kid all day long, I can't give him my room as well.

josh coming along threw my marriage for such a loop, I have to atleast keep our room private.

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

I feel for you-, so sorry you are going through this...sounds like he's in prime separation anxiety and it's totally normal right now for him to only want one parent.

What i would do, since separation anxiety is a real fear and at his age he's def capable of manipulation, i'd find some kind of middle ground and then be consistent. If you don't want to cosleep, don't ever give in.

When DD went through SA, we were consistent, caring, sensitive but firm, and yes we let her fuss/cry a bit. He's yelling, he's not crying, he's def testing you and seeing what he can get away with.

We used the pick/put down method for DD at his age from secrets of the Baby whisperer. She knew we were there for her, but she wasn't going to get her way.
Do a search there's a whole message board based on her book.

GL

The good news is-this can be just a phase, bad news is-don't start any habits now you aren't comfy with cause those will be harder to break..3 days to start a habit-2 weeks to break it

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

thanks! I read Baby Whisper months ago, I will go back and get refreshed.

I think it is a phase, he's not really clingy at all, just loves being hugged. All of a sudden he is drooling so much as well.

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

DS is going through the same thing except he is crying bloody murder. Most nights he goes to bed on his own with no issues. He only wakes crying when he is teething or sick. The ONLY way I can get him back to sleep is in my bed. Picking him up and putting him down makes things so much worse as he then has a tantrum and stiffens up.

Last night (he is sick) he woke up, I calmed him down, layed him in my bed. After 10min he was asleep and I put him back into his crib.

I am hoping it is some sort of a phase. Little bit of teething, sickness mixed in with a little of nightly seperation anxiety. Hopefully it wont last too long

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

thanks bella! usually our babies are on the same page.

He use to wake for a feeding and go back in his crib still sort of awake(eyes open) and just want me to stand there for a minute while he gets comfy, then I was free to leave.

this is horrible. I put him back down and he will wake within the hour screaming.


ETA: I forget to mention, during a crib episode of yelling and screaming he actually kicked out one of the crib bars!

that's why we could not do the tent and had to put him in a big boy bed.

Message edited 1/11/2008 2:09:11 PM.

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

its weird, he is not a crier at all or a whiner during the day. Seriously, I have never seen a tear come out of his eyes. Just that yell....the same yell that was going on when he was younger in the carseat

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

Friend of mine recommend the book Baby Wise.... its all about routine and what kids are conditioned by parents to do (sleep alone or not) GREAT BOOK... worth a try, I beleive there are other "Wise" books as well for older kids. GOOD LUCK!

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

Noah is a yeller too, not crying but YELLING. You know what...I let him YIO (yell it out) and after a few nights of him yelling for like 30 minute, it went down and down and now...he just goes off to sleep by himself.

Janice, I think some tough love is in order. No toddler ever died of crying, nor did they take their mother to court over it. Give it a go...if he isn't crying, he is just playing you.

Good Luck!!
signed, one who has been played.

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

Message edited 1/11/2008 5:36:21 PM.

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

thanks!

I let him go and go, he jumped out of the crib once and kicked the crib bar in the second time. The second night went on forever!!!!!!!

had a chat with the downstairs neighbor, she heard the bang when he jumped, but she swears she doesn't hear him yelling, so game on.

Leo is working a 9 day stretch, so I won't have his tender hearted interference.

Message edited 1/11/2008 6:56:36 PM.

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.

Just a thought -- I know you're working on weaning him -- do you think that's making him more clingy? I also think it's pretty normal for them to go through seperation anxiety around this age. I'm sure it's just a phase -- hard as it is -- he'll grow out of it. Even though I co-sleep -- I totally agree -- if you don't want to co-sleep don't bring him into your bed because it will be a hard habit to break and you might get resentful. Just take a deep breath and remember "this too shall pass."

Re: I am at a loss...josh wants to co sleep and I want no part in it.