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LittleBlueBug
Happy Mommy
Member since 9/06 4074 total posts
Name:
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I am having a hard time deciding what to do
No quoting please. Please help...
My head is spinning at this point! DH and I moved a few months ago. Right now we are hundreds of miles away from my family and our friends. DH likes where we are and it's a lot cheaper than NY. My problem is that when I start working in my field I will not be making as much money...and with my student loans...I really need to make as much as possible. I am not liking it that much here and am so completely homesick (we are very close w/ my family). DH is willing to move back, but I am still unsure if we should. The cost of living is so much less, I can not imagine being able to afford a house on LI. Yet, we can not find an area where we currently are that we like, where we would consider raising our children.
I feel so completely torn...I do not know what the right decision is. He wants me to give him an answer, but I am so confused.
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Posted 6/20/07 6:17 PM  |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
I personally would stay. I think you should give it a year. My friend moved to FL bought a house and wanted to come home 3 months later because all that she has is here. She stuck it out and loves it now. I think you just need some time to adjust. I mean if you want to come home do it, but I would weigh everything out before such a big decision.
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| Posted 6/20/07 6:21 PM |
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sasha96
lovin' my 2 little ladies!
Member since 5/05 7401 total posts
Name:
Julianne
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
Life is too short and you sometimes only learn that the hard way. It's about those around you and being with those you love. There is no price on that. You can find a way to make it work. You can always pick up work on the side in our field!
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| Posted 6/20/07 6:50 PM |
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sasha96
lovin' my 2 little ladies!
Member since 5/05 7401 total posts
Name:
Julianne
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
Oops...what's wrong with me!?
Message edited 6/20/2007 6:52:42 PM.
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| Posted 6/20/07 6:51 PM |
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sasha96
lovin' my 2 little ladies!
Member since 5/05 7401 total posts
Name:
Julianne
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
Oops! ... hit the send twice!
Message edited 6/20/2007 6:52:24 PM.
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| Posted 6/20/07 6:52 PM |
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Alli06
Baby #3 coming this June
Member since 8/05 6721 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
You know my answer!!
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| Posted 6/20/07 7:53 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
where do you live now?
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| Posted 6/20/07 7:57 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
If you don't want to raise children where you are, are you options moving somewhere else or moving back to LI?
If you know you don't want to stay where you are, I'd move soon. No point in getting settled in a job you know you will be leaving shortly.
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| Posted 6/20/07 7:58 PM |
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LuckySV
LIF Adult
Member since 10/05 4675 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
Posted by JennZ
I personally would stay. I think you should give it a year. My friend moved to FL bought a house and wanted to come home 3 months later because all that she has is here. She stuck it out and loves it now. I think you just need some time to adjust. I mean if you want to come home do it, but I would weigh everything out before such a big decision.
I completely agree. I think you need to give it some more time. As for the money issue, did you know that when you moved there? I understand student loans are a huge issue (I have no idea how big your's are though) but if COL is that much cheaper is it really that importnat that you make so much more money?
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| Posted 6/20/07 8:07 PM |
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LittleBlueBug
Happy Mommy
Member since 9/06 4074 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
Posted by npbride
Posted by JennZ
I personally would stay. I think you should give it a year. My friend moved to FL bought a house and wanted to come home 3 months later because all that she has is here. She stuck it out and loves it now. I think you just need some time to adjust. I mean if you want to come home do it, but I would weigh everything out before such a big decision.
I completely agree. I think you need to give it some more time. As for the money issue, did you know that when you moved there? I understand student loans are a huge issue (I have no idea how big your's are though) but if COL is that much cheaper is it really that importnat that you make so much more money?
Graduate school and 3 years of undergrad (all at CW Post) were all loans...so, my pmnts will be annoying. The thing is DH is not making a lot either, so combined, I don't think we would be even able to afford a house here w/ bills if I am making so little.
ETA: when I did a salary comparisson months ago, the web site I used said there was only a $2k difference. When I got here and got to ask others in my field what the pay was, they said something a lot different...and they have experience! I went back online and used a different site and the difference was $15k (median)
Message edited 6/20/2007 8:15:31 PM.
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| Posted 6/20/07 8:12 PM |
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LittleBlueBug
Happy Mommy
Member since 9/06 4074 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
Posted by Alli06
You know my answer!!
That's because you LOVE me!
Have Doo build me a house and we'll talk!
Message edited 6/20/2007 8:17:35 PM.
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| Posted 6/20/07 8:17 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
I moved to Dallas for 10 months with my ex, who at the time I thought I would marry.
Dallas costs half of what it costs here to live. It would have been MUCH easier for me to buy a house and start a family there. But I decided that my ulitmate happiness was more important. So I moved back to be close to my family. The ex didn't come with.
If I had stayed there I would have had kids a long time ago and would already own a house. But I don't regret my decision for one second. I love my DH, love my family, and love NY. I couldn't live anywhere else.
Go where you will be HAPPY. The rest will fall into place.
I'm married, a kid on the way, and plan to buy a house next spring when DH is done with school in NYC. It took me longer, but I will have everything I have wanted within the next year.
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| Posted 6/20/07 8:22 PM |
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Nicole728
My Happy Girl
Member since 7/06 8198 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
I would give it some time...where do you live?
When I moved to NC I HATED it...i was sooo far from my family and friends and just felt so alone...meanwhile DH LOVED it.
It took a few months and finally when I got my job in the school system I finally started to warm up...as a SLP, you will make good money; yes not as much as in NY; but I know down here they make great money, pretty close to what the SLP's make in NY and you have so many options in where you can work, which will also affect your pay grade...so I would also research that option.
I would also consider refinancing your students loans to get a lower rate and poss a lower payment.
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| Posted 6/20/07 8:59 PM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
I for the life of me don't understand what owning a house has to do with anyone's happiness...
to me life is about the relationships you have and the people in your life- not the things you acquire.. if you're more happy around your friends and family- then move back here. Yes, it is more expensive. Yes, you might not be able to buy a home right away- but so what! You'll get one eventually- life isn't a race. I'd rather be around those I love in a rental than around no one in something I owned.. that's JMO though.
good luck with your decision.
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| Posted 6/20/07 9:00 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
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They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
Posted by Sassyz75
I for the life of me don't understand what owning a house has to do with anyone's happiness...
to me life is about the relationships you have and the people in your life- not the things you acquire.. if you're more happy around your friends and family- then move back here. Yes, it is more expensive. Yes, you might not be able to buy a home right away- but so what! You'll get one eventually- life isn't a race. I'd rather be around those I love in a rental than around no one in something I owned.. that's JMO though.
good luck with your decision.
I think that's an excellent point.
At the same time, anytime you move to a new place, there is an adjustment period. Give it at least a few more months to see how you like it before moving again... Give it a chance, and if it doesn't work out, you at least know that you tried.
Ultimately, though, you have to do what will make you both happy and what is best for both of you!
Good luck. Moving can be tough, especially at first. 
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| Posted 6/20/07 9:14 PM |
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nickipa
love my boys!
Member since 4/06 5648 total posts
Name:
Nicki
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Re: I am having a hard time deciding what to do
Its so hard moving away.....even without the fact that you are away from family and the pay difference it is still a HUGE adjustment. I just moved to NJ from LI for DH's job. We have no family here and now I am in the midst of just starting a terrible job. Either way, Im not giving up, we are able to afford a house where we are and I know in my heart we will have a good quality of life here! (not that we wouldn't have on LI, but DHs job wasn't going to work on LI). Trust me, I am still at the point where I am either in tears or close to it on a daily basis, but each day gets easier and I just try to focus on all the good stuff. Good luck with your choice
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| Posted 6/20/07 9:21 PM |
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