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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
Posted by BJandDan
Posted by jellybean1420
Posted by BJandDan
I also think some of the comments directed at LB (headover) are absolutely horrible. She is voicing an opinion that she feels strongly about, stop projecting hatred at her.
I think most of us have strong feelings about this topics. How could we not as women, mothers or simply as human beings.
I'm guessing you have a difference of opinion but I dont think anyone projected hatred on her (and I am also guessing that comment was directed towards me). I was probably overly aggressive and harsh but I never attacked her personally (ie. saying she, herself, was disgusting). I said I find the idea that she is more concerned about the rapist than the victim disgusting. Two different things in my eyes.
I was not directing this at any one person, and really not you at all. There were several comments made that I personally felt were almost wishing ill towards her.
ITA with you BJ-the general vibe here is one of hatred and personal attacks against someone who merely posted an opinion. Like it or not, it was an opinion and I am not saying the opinion was correct, but hate the opinion, not the poster. I, too am not singling out any particular poster. It is just sad the way things went down.
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Posted 10/31/10 6:45 AM  |
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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
Posted by BargainMama
I don't trust the legal system enough to believe that a child *couldn't* be let out in that short of time. It happens ALL the time with adult sex offenders, who end up repeating their crime and end up killing their victims. So I honestly think it could potentially be no different with a child.
I would be informing every single parent I know and getting the media involved. Names don't need to be (and can't be) released, but the incident should be. The parents of children in that school and neighborhood have the right to know a rapist is among them so they can be on guard at all times and teach their children the same.
There should be a registry for ALL offenders, regardless of age.
If this is Suffolk County and Family Court, I can say without a shadow of doubt that this would NEVER happen due to my personal knowledge of the judge and support teams that handle these cases. I've done this long enough to know firsthand. I've never represented a child accused of a sex offense who hasn't been scrutinized and then if the child plead or was found guilty, subjected to strict scrutiny and a great deal of intensive treatment.
I know everyone is calling for a lynch mob on this kid, and I am just merely saying that there are ways to proceed about this-the OP herself doesn't know all details and for all we know, the perp was never charged with this rape. This is why I am encouraging the OP to pass on to the victim's family that they should immediately go to the police, make a statement and if needed, contact their local county attorney or district attorney (in this case, it would be a district attorney) and file the proper charges. It would be a win-win all around-the victim would be protected and receive any and all services to help him cope, the general public would be protected against the offender, and the offender would get HELP! This would be far more efficient than the media, which would probably do nothing more than cause a panic and worse, make the victim feel 1000 times worse, ashamed and embarrassed, which is exactly what shouldn't happen.
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| Posted 10/31/10 6:53 AM |
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KartveliT
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Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
I just read the OP , not sure what everyone thinks, but IF this story is true and not made up or edited (not by OP but just in general) I think this kid should be locked up FOR LIFE  I don't care what anyone says, I don't care how much he regrets doing what he did..... there , I said it, I am a horrible person, but this is JMO
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| Posted 10/31/10 9:19 AM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
I too believe there is probably a LOT to the story we don't know.
All I can relate to is the fact that I have children and a little boy , and based on what I knew if the O/P ...I would FREAK out. I would think the worse, and think of how much worse could be done. There is NO WAY that kid is rehabilitated that soon...No way in Hell...
I would fear every time my child played outside or took the bus etc etc etc.
So I woudl find out more...ASAP....There has to be a way to find out more.
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| Posted 10/31/10 10:00 AM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
I get the anger and outrage everyone feels. I really, really do. That's my initial gut reaction but along with that is extreme sadness.
A 13 year old is still a CHILD. Do you think any normal child even begins to know about drugs, rape, homosexual assaults, sodomy, etc? I'm sorry but the answer to that is a big fat NO!
Does he deserve a second chance. Maybe yes, maybe no. But my God the bigger question everyone needs to be asking is what in God's name was done to this boy that would make him do such horrendous things to another human being. That is not normal acting out of any kind. This boy has clearly been abused himself and in spite of what he did that still breaks my heart. He has probably been ruined from the inside out and in turn has turned his anger and rage on another boy. It's really a tragedy of the utmost kind and I think that's what we all should take a minute to look at. His parents clearly failed him in a major way and their failure has ruined another boy's life as well.
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| Posted 10/31/10 4:59 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
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greenfreak
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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
Since there are already a lot of unanswered questions here, I wanted to offer one more. How does anyone know that the other child wasn't a willing participant? Of course no one wants to think that way about a child, especially one which appears to have been horribly violated.
But here's why I ask. I won't go into details but someone very close to me was involved in a situation where it appeared that one kid had molested another at a party they attended. At a very young age, where you wouldn't guess that these kids were that sexually active. Of the two who performed the sex acts, one of them got p*ssed at something the other one said and decided to get revenge and lie about it. In the process, they were reveling at all the attention they got.
The truth came out eventually but not before a ton of people made all sorts of uninformed assumptions and retaliated. The tires on the family vehicle were slashed, windows broken, their driveway and sidewalk spray painted, all sorts of obscenities yelled at them by adults... In the end, only one of the families moved. The kid who lied actually stayed in the school/town.
Of course I would be afraid too if I was the OP and I've never been in this situation. I honestly don't know what I would do. I know no one wants to give the benefit of the doubt because it would feel like siding with the guilty. It's much safer and easier to follow the mob mentality. But no matter how much we talk about this, no one has the full story straight from the two kids who were involved.
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| Posted 10/31/10 5:42 PM |
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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
Posted by headoverheels
It is not likely that he just went to the detention center for a couple of months and then was sent home. He is more than likely on probation which includes mandatory counseling.
I could understand being scared, but aggravated and appalled? How about concerned for his mental health? Should we just lock him up and throw away the key? And what if he is getting counseling, and doing well even - should he be shunned and harassed at school because of his prior history? Whatever happened to second chances? It saddens me that you are so "disgusted."
I know how a lot of these kids get rehabilitation. He will do this again, most likely - the system is a HUGE failure for these kids. I would be very concerned having my child near him. Would you really feel comfortable with it, LB? I am not asking in an argumentative tone, because it is hard to tell in typing - but would you not be a little worried with your babies in the same vicinity as him?
ETA - The rufie involved is what bothers me. That sounds like the rape was planned. If a drug wasn't involved I would think maybe it was something else - maybe. But the drug in the mix means this 13 yr old kid thought this out and planned it quite well - which - minor or not - shows he knew what he was doing. My stepdaughter is 13, she knows right from wrong.
Message edited 10/31/2010 5:47:15 PM.
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| Posted 10/31/10 5:45 PM |
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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
Posted by monkeybride
I get the anger and outrage everyone feels. I really, really do. That's my initial gut reaction but along with that is extreme sadness.
A 13 year old is still a CHILD. Do you think any normal child even begins to know about drugs, rape, homosexual assaults, sodomy, etc? I'm sorry but the answer to that is a big fat NO!
Does he deserve a second chance. Maybe yes, maybe no. But my God the bigger question everyone needs to be asking is what in God's name was done to this boy that would make him do such horrendous things to another human being. That is not normal acting out of any kind. This boy has clearly been abused himself and in spite of what he did that still breaks my heart. He has probably been ruined from the inside out and in turn has turned his anger and rage on another boy. It's really a tragedy of the utmost kind and I think that's what we all should take a minute to look at. His parents clearly failed him in a major way and their failure has ruined another boy's life as well.
I agree. Usually this doesn't come from out of the blue - and we can appreciate the true sadness of that situation - but a lot of sociopaths come from horrible backgrounds and we cannot excuse their behavior because of it... know what I mean?
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| Posted 10/31/10 5:48 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
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C
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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
Posted by greenfreak
Since there are already a lot of unanswered questions here, I wanted to offer one more. How does anyone know that the other child wasn't a willing participant? Of course no one wants to think that way about a child, especially one which appears to have been horribly violated.
I would imagine if he was a willing participant he wouldnt have needed to be drugged, if that is actually true.
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| Posted 10/31/10 7:15 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
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greenfreak
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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
Posted by jellybean1420
I would imagine if he was a willing participant he wouldnt have needed to be drugged, if that is actually true.
Right, if any of it is true. How do we know there even were drugs involved or, again, that it wasn't consensual? Experimenting with drugs isn't outside of the realm of possibility, sadly.
In general, my point is that we just don't know the full story and probably never will. Most will choose to believe the worst about the accused, I suppose that is human nature. But it's all just speculation, no matter what you believe.
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| Posted 10/31/10 7:55 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
Posted by greenfreak
Posted by jellybean1420
I would imagine if he was a willing participant he wouldnt have needed to be drugged, if that is actually true.
Right, if any of it is true. How do we know there even were drugs involved or, again, that it wasn't consensual? Experimenting with drugs isn't outside of the realm of possibility, sadly.
In general, my point is that we just don't know the full story and probably never will. Most will choose to believe the worst about the accused, I suppose that is human nature. But it's all just speculation, no matter what you believe.
Perhaps - but I would not take the chances of having my child near this kid.
Some things can never ever be "reversed".
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| Posted 10/31/10 7:59 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by monkeybride
I get the anger and outrage everyone feels. I really, really do. That's my initial gut reaction but along with that is extreme sadness.
A 13 year old is still a CHILD. Do you think any normal child even begins to know about drugs, rape, homosexual assaults, sodomy, etc? I'm sorry but the answer to that is a big fat NO!
Does he deserve a second chance. Maybe yes, maybe no. But my God the bigger question everyone needs to be asking is what in God's name was done to this boy that would make him do such horrendous things to another human being. That is not normal acting out of any kind. This boy has clearly been abused himself and in spite of what he did that still breaks my heart. He has probably been ruined from the inside out and in turn has turned his anger and rage on another boy. It's really a tragedy of the utmost kind and I think that's what we all should take a minute to look at. His parents clearly failed him in a major way and their failure has ruined another boy's life as well.
I agree. Usually this doesn't come from out of the blue - and we can appreciate the true sadness of that situation - but a lot of sociopaths come from horrible backgrounds and we cannot excuse their behavior because of it... know what I mean?
Absolutely Liza. I do not excuse his behavior at all. It is heinous and frightening and no I would not want my child around him at all.
I guess my point is that as adults, many of us parents we really need to look at what happened to this boy and maybe, just maybe he can be saved. Maybe he can't. Maybe he truly is sick beyond repair but maybe he's not. He should be locked up and treated because he is clearly not right in the head. It's fine for him to be sexually curious, sexually active or gay but I can almost guarantee he himself has been violated in an unbelievable way and maybe if he got help for that he would be able to be rehabilitated back to a decent person before it's too late and before he does something like this again.
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| Posted 10/31/10 11:39 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.
Posted by karacg
Perhaps - but I would not take the chances of having my child near this kid.
Some things can never ever be "reversed".
I'd probably avoid him too if I was a parent. But I wouldn't "do" anything based on assumptions and secondhand information, that's the point I was getting at.
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| Posted 11/1/10 8:40 AM |
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