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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
Tomorrow night we are going to seder at MILs. Because this side of the family does everything huge-- there are going to be like 20+ people there.
I am SOO anxious about this. Aside from the fact that we need to travel out to LI from the city-- which we will for sure have traffic back and forth-- it's going to be a looong day. I am worried about how she will be, how I will be taking care of her out of the home for the whole day (I am going out early to try to avoid some traffic). I just don't want all these people around her or touching her!
I assume no one will take her out of my arms-- and I can ask people if they washed their hands... I just don't want her passed around like a novelty toy.
PLUS-- the evenings are when she gets the most fussy. People aren't even coming over until 7 and I want to get on the road as early as possible. DH and I are NOT in agreement on this-- and thinks I need to be flexible, although I did get him to agree that we will most likely not be staying for the actual seder since people won't sit down to dinner until 8ish-- I am assuming with the time and that many people.
It's really annoying that he is not on the same page with me on this. He thinks that I always think something is going to turn out horrible-- and I think he needs to understand we have a 9 week old baby and if she is fussy and really thrown off-- I am the one who is going to have to deal with most of it!
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Posted 4/8/09 3:18 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
All I can offer you is  . I am on the same page as you with this one!
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| Posted 4/8/09 3:31 PM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
I totally understand your feelings. DD was about that age the first time she was at a big family gathering for my MIL's b-day. Every baby is different, but my DD became very overstimulated and hysterical at one point that I couldn't even calm her down.
I would suggest finding a room that you can sneak off to every once in awhile to give your DD a break, esp. if you see she is becoming fussy. Sorry your DH is not on the same page. It is hard when they are that age, as a new mom I hated taking her away from her routine.
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| Posted 4/8/09 3:33 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
I remember feeling that way very clearly when DS was little. The truth is though, this is the age where they are very flexible. They sleep a lot, in all sorts of places (car seat, in someones arms, in a PNP, etc). As long as there is a quiet place for you to soothe her and let her rest when she is sleeping, I think this is a great opportunity to go and enjoy yourself.
As they get older and more curious it is harder to get them to sleep anywhere at any time.
I would go, bring a baby monitor and see how the day goes. If it is h3ll, then make your excuses and leave. But you may just have a good time.
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| Posted 4/8/09 3:40 PM |
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nrvbrd
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 796 total posts
Name:
Kysha
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
I hear ya sista.
I feel the same way as you do about these situations.
My DH is also like yours in how he feels.
The thing is it is no big deal to them because when the baby gets fussy, they are not the ones who have to comfort and deal with them- WE DO.
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| Posted 4/8/09 3:42 PM |
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Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
Think of it as a little break. You should let other people hold her (hands washed of course). Let her get used to being held by others. Go into the other room to feed her. Bring a bouncer (if oyu have one) so she can sleep and relax. You'll be surprised how well the night goes..
Have fun!
ETA: DD used to get very fussy at night. For Christmas Eve, we were at my parents and we had over 50 family members there. I was a little anxious how she would act once her witching hour started..to our surprise, she was so intrigued by all the family members, we didn't hear a peep out of her!
Message edited 4/8/2009 3:46:08 PM.
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| Posted 4/8/09 3:44 PM |
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
Posted by Sweets13
Think of it as a little break. You should let other people hold her (hands washed of course). Let her get used to being held by others. Go into the other room to feed her. Bring a bouncer (if oyu have one) so she can sleep and relax. You'll be surprised how well the night goes..
Have fun!
ETA: DD used to get very fussy at night. For Christmas Eve, we were at my parents and we had over 50 family members there. I was a little anxious how she would act once her witching hour started..to our surprise, she was so intrigued by all the family members, we didn't hear a peep out of her!
I completely agree with everything. It took me having another child to realize this.
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| Posted 4/8/09 3:50 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
Posted by Sweets13
Think of it as a little break. You should let other people hold her (hands washed of course). Let her get used to being held by others. Go into the other room to feed her. Bring a bouncer (if oyu have one) so she can sleep and relax. You'll be surprised how well the night goes..
Have fun!
ETA: DD used to get very fussy at night. For Christmas Eve, we were at my parents and we had over 50 family members there. I was a little anxious how she would act once her witching hour started..to our surprise, she was so intrigued by all the family members, we didn't hear a peep out of her!
Great advice! Let other people in your family share in your joy, be careful not to alienate them by shutting them out. Enjoy it, let othe rpeople hold her! Enjoy the seder!
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| Posted 4/8/09 3:54 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
Posted by Elbee
I remember feeling that way very clearly when DS was little. The truth is though, this is the age where they are very flexible. They sleep a lot, in all sorts of places (car seat, in someones arms, in a PNP, etc). As long as there is a quiet place for you to soothe her and let her rest when she is sleeping, I think this is a great opportunity to go and enjoy yourself.
As they get older and more curious it is harder to get them to sleep anywhere at any time.
I would go, bring a baby monitor and see how the day goes. If it is h3ll, then make your excuses and leave. But you may just have a good time.
Agreed! DS was 5 days old when we had christmas at my BILs, when just our immediate family is there its 8 adults and 7 kids...throw in a few extras for the holiday and there were over 20 people there. He was great, he slept most of hte time in my nieces bedroom (in his carseat) i kept a monitor with me, everyone was very respectful of asking to h old him washing hands etc and it was nice to get a break to relax...I will say by the time we left around 10ish he was a bit over stimulated and cried a bit at home when tryign to get him down to sleep but overall I can't complain.
But now I wish I could go back to when he was that easy to travel with! 
Now I spend holidays/events running around the place diffusing DS related accidents and praying that he doesnt throw a tandrum for no real reason!
Try to enjoy!
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| Posted 4/8/09 3:59 PM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
Posted by Sweets13
Think of it as a little break. You should let other people hold her (hands washed of course). Let her get used to being held by others. Go into the other room to feed her. Bring a bouncer (if oyu have one) so she can sleep and relax. You'll be surprised how well the night goes..
Have fun!
ETA: DD used to get very fussy at night. For Christmas Eve, we were at my parents and we had over 50 family members there. I was a little anxious how she would act once her witching hour started..to our surprise, she was so intrigued by all the family members, we didn't hear a peep out of her!
ITA
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| Posted 4/8/09 4:00 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
I think it's totally normal to be anxious - especially the first time you take her out into a big group of people - out her HER comfortable routine, and YOURS ........
Rather than make yourself sick over it before it's really a 'problem' - why don't you try to play it by ear and see how it goes? Ask your DH to agree to back you up IF you start to get anxious/worried about anything and not give you a hard time about leaving -
But try your best to go into it with an open mind ........
She might surprise you .........
Good Luck !!
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| Posted 4/8/09 4:05 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
You need to be in our family then  ! We can't get anyone to hold our DC's just so we can scoff down our dinner for 5 minutes !
Just keep doing the old " No problem, I'll give her to you after she eats, naps etc...." Eventually they give up
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| Posted 4/8/09 4:06 PM |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
Posted by Sweets13
Think of it as a little break. You should let other people hold her (hands washed of course). Let her get used to being held by others. Go into the other room to feed her. Bring a bouncer (if oyu have one) so she can sleep and relax. You'll be surprised how well the night goes..
Have fun!
ETA: DD used to get very fussy at night. For Christmas Eve, we were at my parents and we had over 50 family members there. I was a little anxious how she would act once her witching hour started..to our surprise, she was so intrigued by all the family members, we didn't hear a peep out of her!
ITA
I used to get super anxious, now I look forward to big family parties. I know everyone there is really excited to see him and want to help me.
Try to enjoy yourself
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| Posted 4/8/09 4:10 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
Posted by Sweets13
Think of it as a little break. You should let other people hold her (hands washed of course). Let her get used to being held by others. Go into the other room to feed her. Bring a bouncer (if oyu have one) so she can sleep and relax. You'll be surprised how well the night goes..
Have fun!
QUOTE]
Couldn't have said it better myself. DS has been to many occassions with a LOT of people. I truely don't mind it.
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| Posted 4/8/09 4:18 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
I agree with Sweets and Racheee. Try to have a nice time. Believe it or not, this age is the easiest age of all. They don't do much besides eat, sleep, and poop so they are very manageable. You can actually put her down and enjoy your meal, as they get older this gets much much harder. Bring her bouncy seat, and let your family hold her. It will give you and DH a much needed break I'm sure. I would also ask them to wash their hands before passing her over for your own piece of mind.
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| Posted 4/8/09 4:41 PM |
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laurabora
LIF Adult
Member since 4/07 2712 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
Posted by Diana1215
I agree with Sweets and Racheee. Try to have a nice time. Believe it or not, this age is the easiest age of all. They don't do much besides eat, sleep, and poop so they are very manageable. You can actually put her down and enjoy your meal, as they get older this gets much much harder. Bring her bouncy seat, and let your family hold her. It will give you and DH a much needed break I'm sure. I would also ask them to wash their hands before passing her over for your own piece of mind.
ITA. Try not to overthink it...if she does end up melting down, that can be your cue to leave, but try to go with the flow. It's good for her to be around her family.
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| Posted 4/8/09 4:46 PM |
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hmm8191
My loves
Member since 3/06 2908 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
I can really understand where you are coming from on this. My son was born on 11/20 and was just over a month old for Christmas. Add to this it was the middle of winter when everyone is sick and I was a basket case. My DH like yours did not seem to think this was a big deal either. Ugh! You will get through it I promise. Try to enjoy yourself and showing off your beautiful baby girl. Know that everyone is going to want to hold her and make goo goo eyes are her and try to enjoy that too.
I wish I could tell you some magic thing that would make it all better but you're just going to have to do your best!
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| Posted 4/8/09 4:49 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
You know I feel the same way as you do. I think you need to do whatever works for you. And I don't think she should be passed around at all.
At DDs christening, we were worried about this as well. We warned our parents ahead of time we would NOT be passing her around. After the ceremony, at the restaurant, DD slept the whole time in her carriage and no one bothered her. They respected our wishes and the poor kid was exhausted anyway.
Turns out one of the young children at the party had a very bad cold he got in daycare, and later that week FIL got it. So luckily we did what we did. Like you, I said to DH that I would be the one up with her at nights if she got sick right now, so he needed to be in agreeance with me (and he was).
I personally would not let her out of my sight and would only allow certain people to hold her briefly. JMO
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| Posted 4/8/09 4:51 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
I totally don't know how you feel because I have no problems with her being around a lot of people and I don't mind her being held by people. I have already been out to eat with her a ton and to the mall, etc.
Use this time as a break.
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| Posted 4/8/09 5:03 PM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
i had major anxiety about big family gatherings while the baby was around! my fil passed away when my dd was 6 wks old. i was soooooooo nervous about people wanting to get their paws on her- esp. because this would be the first meeting!
you have no idea how stupid people are! they will come up to your baby and touch her cheek or hover over her!
it got me so upset! and she was in the carrier the whole time!!
dont be surprised if people ask to hold the baby too! my advice, if your baby sleeps well in the baby carrier ( like during the ride to your mil) leave her in there till she wakes up! then, when she wakes up, excuse yourself to go feed her- take your time!! like 45 min!!! then try to put her asleep...
good luck!! it is very frustating!!
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| Posted 4/8/09 5:16 PM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
oh i had another bit of advice!! i told my mil at the funeral/wake/repase that only she was allowed to hold the baby b.c i didnt want her to be passed around like a rag doll!
just make your wishes clear!
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| Posted 4/8/09 5:21 PM |
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DomesticDeeva
Tiebreaker on deck!!!
Member since 11/08 2088 total posts
Name:
Dee
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
I felt the same about DS's christening..we had 72 people..he was 8 weeks old.
I told people straight up that they could not hold him because he hadn't had any shots, and I didn't want him catching a cold from anyone. I was brutally honest...no one except myself, DH & the grandparents could hold him.
As far as DS reacting to people, he slept thru 98% of it...noise, music & all. The little bit he was awake, he was intrigued by all the unfamiliar faces.
The biggest PITA was sneaking away to nurse.
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| Posted 4/8/09 7:20 PM |
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Candy Girl
Candy girl- you are so sweet!
Member since 11/07 6349 total posts
Name:
erin
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
I brought DD to her first really big gathering last saturday--a 35th b-day party with about 25-30 LOUD people. She did not enjoy herself. She started screaming and crying nonstop for about 2 hours. DH and I finally had to get the stroller out of the car and walk her around outside to calm her down. When she came back in, we gave her a bottle and she was much better. So, you nver know what may happen, but don't get anxious over it, it may turn out to be swell.
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| Posted 4/8/09 7:38 PM |
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kimmie
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1535 total posts
Name:
Kimberly
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
I totally agree with you about being freaked out. You DC is really still so young and I wouldnt want her around that many people either. I wouldnt be going to be honost with you I would tell DH he can go alone and you will stay home with DC. This is just ME though, Im a freak when it comes to germs. this is a NEW experience for you and maybe your not ready for this long day and thats totally okay..
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| Posted 4/8/09 7:56 PM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am SO nervous to have a bunch of people around DD
Posted by Diana1215
I agree with Sweets and Racheee. Try to have a nice time. Believe it or not, this age is the easiest age of all. They don't do much besides eat, sleep, and poop so they are very manageable. You can actually put her down and enjoy your meal, as they get older this gets much much harder. Bring her bouncy seat, and let your family hold her. It will give you and DH a much needed break I'm sure. I would also ask them to wash their hands before passing her over for your own piece of mind.
ITA. DS was colicky evenings at that age, but we had people over a few times in the evening, and he was actually fine with it and easier to handle than the evenings when he was alone with us.
Now it's a different story, and I do avoid bringing him to evening gatherings. He won't sleep just anywhere, and he gets sooo cranky if he misses his bedtime. So enjoy an evening out with family!
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| Posted 4/8/09 8:01 PM |
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