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chelle
It's a Good Life
Member since 8/06 15404 total posts
Name:
Isn't it obvious?
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I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
And what they have to say to me when I tell them that I am "planning" on having a natural childbirth!!! I am so sick and tired of people telling me "Yeah, good luck with that one", or "Um yeah, let me know how that goes", "Um, why?"
I seriously don't understand why I am not allowed to believe in something. I don't understand why I can't want to try my hardest to have the birth that I want to have?! Why can't people just keep their opinions to themselves?? I KNOW it's going to hurt like a mother______, but who says that I can't get through it!?!? Who's to say that I won't have the teaching, which I've been going to for 5 weeks, that will get me through this and teach me the techniques that I need? Why is it SO hard for people to believe that I am SCARED TO DEATH of a needle in my spine? I'd rather go through hours of pain and agony than that!!
Call me crazy, but that is who I am and what I believe. TO EACH HIS OWN!! If I have all the confidence in the world that this is what I can do and trust me, this is the ONLY thing I've ever had confidence in myself about, then why can't people just LEAVE ME ALONE!!?!
Granted, I UNDERSTAND anything's possible and certain things are out of my control, so if need be, bring on whatever to keep my baby safe. But until that moment, LET ME BE!!!
I don't look at people and call them crazy when they want the drugs, or the c-section, or whatever... it's everyone's OWN EXPERIENCE and I am just SO freakin' tired of having to explain myself every time I tell people I'm working towards a natural childbirth.
It bothers me because generations and generations before us did it this way, what's wrong with wanting that in 2007??? My Grandmother did it. My mother did it with my sister and I and had about a 5 hour labor for both of us! My sister did it with her 2 sons. WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH ME WANTING IT TOO????
Ok, I'm done 
Thank you for letting me vent.
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Posted 3/18/07 9:34 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MrsPJ
Joining Team Blue with Baby #2
Member since 5/06 1155 total posts
Name:
Tiffany
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
I second that!! A lot of women in my family were able to do it with their first pregnancies and I am hoping to also...forget what anyone thinks!
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| Posted 3/18/07 9:37 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
I'm with you 100%!!!
I want to go as natural as possible! Of course it's going to hurt!! But that doesn't mean we can't take the pain!!!
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| Posted 3/18/07 9:40 PM |
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bayla
Love my two kiddos :)
Member since 8/06 7178 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
Posted by chelle
And what they have to say to me when I tell them that I am "planning" on having a natural childbirth!!! I am so sick and tired of people telling me "Yeah, good luck with that one", or "Um yeah, let me know how that goes", "Um, why?"
I seriously don't understand why I am not allowed to believe in something. I don't understand why I can't want to try my hardest to have the birth that I want to have?! Why can't people just keep their opinions to themselves?? I KNOW it's going to hurt like a mother______, but who says that I can't get through it!?!? Who's to say that I won't have the teaching, which I've been going to for 5 weeks, that will get me through this and teach me the techniques that I need? Why is it SO hard for people to believe that I am SCARED TO DEATH of a needle in my spine? I'd rather go through hours of pain and agony than that!!
Call me crazy, but that is who I am and what I believe. TO EACH HIS OWN!! If I have all the confidence in the world that this is what I can do and trust me, this is the ONLY thing I've ever had confidence in myself about, then why can't people just LEAVE ME ALONE!!?!
Granted, I UNDERSTAND anything's possible and certain things are out of my control, so if need be, bring on whatever to keep my baby safe. But until that moment, LET ME BE!!!
I don't look at people and call them crazy when they want the drugs, or the c-section, or whatever... it's everyone's OWN EXPERIENCE and I am just SO freakin' tired of having to explain myself every time I tell people I'm working towards a natural childbirth.
It bothers me because generations and generations before us did it this way, what's wrong with wanting that in 2007??? My Grandmother did it. My mother did it with my sister and I and had about a 5 hour labor for both of us! My sister did it with her 2 sons. WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH ME WANTING IT TOO????
Ok, I'm done
Thank you for letting me vent.
I am so sorry your going through this
i feel like i have the opposite problem, i want an epidural/meds and i feel like a lot of people i have spoken to think i should try natural, i am not against it, i i just feel like if i feel like i need some meds to take the edge off, thats my decision, just like you going natural is YOUR decision, do whats good for you
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| Posted 3/18/07 9:41 PM |
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sweetie
Member since 8/06 1730 total posts
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
just take as their ignorance. My friend just had a natural birth. She said there is a point where the pain is at a peak, but it doesn't get worse.
Don't listen to other people & don't even tell them your plans. Lie if you have to, the stress of stupid people is not worth it
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| Posted 3/18/07 9:43 PM |
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burberrygirl
so happy!!
Member since 1/07 2091 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
don't listen to other people, do what is right for you and your baby!
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| Posted 3/18/07 9:52 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
Wow I feel like I could have posted this myself, today!! Everyone has laughed at me when I said we were trying for natural childbirth.... EVERYONE!!
It is so frustrating, and annoying, and yes disrespectful. Did I tell you how to have your baby?? No!
They all tell me about the pain - like I need to hear it! I am no idiot thank you. I went through years of tremendous back pain, and then surgery, so yes I am familiar with pain. I know it will not be the same but I also know that I can deal with things I never thought I would have to feel.
I am so with you....
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| Posted 3/18/07 10:01 PM |
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Secret4Now
LIF Toddler
Member since 12/06 411 total posts
Name:
In due time. No pun intended.
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
No matter how you plan on doing it you will catch some slack. Make your plan based on what you want, but be mentally ready just in case something different happens.
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| Posted 3/18/07 10:06 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
Here are my thoughts on the subject..I have never had any kind of pain killers with any of my 4 deliveries but then again I go very quick and I have a very high tolerance for pain...
BUT I do feel that no amount of lamaze or positive thinking can get you through delivery until you are already there and you see what works for you...You are probably receiving comments from people who have "been there and done that" wanted to go through Natural ChildBirth only to go through hours and hours of labor and to realize that they need some help...Then to feel like a failure...so if they have "failed" they want you to "fail" too...
I have watched so many "Baby Stories" where the Mom goes in wanting a Natural ChildBirth and then not being able to do it and for some reason they feel that they need to make excuses for themselves.
My point is THAT...I sincerely hope that you are able to do what you want to BUT DONT LET IT DRIVE YOU NUTS!!!!!! Go into delivery completely prepared for everything and should you decide that you need to have the epidural dont feel like you have failed and should your dr decide that you need a c dont feel that you have failed...
I am 100% on your side when it comes to Natural ChildBirth just realize that in the end you wont care how that baby go here..
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| Posted 3/18/07 10:08 PM |
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Eleanor
LIF Adult
Member since 2/06 2223 total posts
Name:
Ellie
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
the only time I got nervous during my first was when I read about an epidural!
I learned to say "I'm glad that worked out so well for you" when people say things that are opposite my plans. I think that's what people want to hear - that their way was the best.
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| Posted 3/18/07 10:12 PM |
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
I hear ya - when I tell people I am not sure, but want to try holding off on the epidural as long as possible - they say the same thing to me!
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| Posted 3/18/07 10:15 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
Posted by hbugalla
My point is THAT...I sincerely hope that you are able to do what you want to BUT DONT LET IT DRIVE YOU NUTS!!!!!! Go into delivery completely prepared for everything and should you decide that you need to have the epidural dont feel like you have failed and should your dr decide that you need a c dont feel that you have failed...
We know that.....of course. The problem is like you did, everyone thinks they need to point out the obvious...
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| Posted 3/18/07 10:18 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
NO I am not trying to point out the obvious..Im sure that you are very well informed of things and dont need me or anyone else to point these things out to you...
You sound very passionate about your decision to have this baby naturally and Im sure you will be able to do so...
My point was this...Dont feel that you have failed should you not be able to have a Natural Childbirth...Although I am sure you will..
We know that.....of course. The problem is like you did, everyone thinks they need to point out the obvious...
Message edited 3/18/2007 10:49:42 PM.
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| Posted 3/18/07 10:40 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
I commend you for doing what you body was meant to do and have all the faith that you will do just fine. Tune everyone out!
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| Posted 3/18/07 10:52 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
Why is it SO hard for people to believe that I am SCARED TO DEATH of a needle in my spine? I'd rather go through hours of pain and agony than that!!
I could have written this post myself as well!!! I am sick of people's comments. "You're crazy!" "You're an idiot...just get the epidural" "You'll never be able to do it" LIke you said, I am more scared to have the epidural than to go through a natural childbirth. I am hoping I can make it without it...our parents did, our grandparents did and their parents did. I am looking into epidural and spinal only if I need an emergency c-section b/c I would rather have that than be knocked out.
If people ask now, I just same I'm not sure. I am sick of listening to people's "advice" and what they think I should do.
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| Posted 3/18/07 11:02 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
Everyone is just obnoxious, that is what I think. Whatever I say people have something to say the other way.
I do think that people are so cynical if you mention that are nervous about a big needle, b/c their first response would be "how are you going to push out a baby?" but that is SOOOO rude!! (I've heard people say that to a gf of mine who went natural)
Honestly, just ignore them, when it comes down to, it will be just you and DH in with the dr and it will be your decision
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| Posted 3/19/07 6:11 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
Chelle, I agree & I am right there with you. This is such a personal experience for your family and the ULTIMATE in personal choise, and most of the responses are unwarranted and unneccessary.
I think you are fabulous for doing what you know is right in your heart for you & your baby. I know you will be fantastic!
(And you know what I say...."Kick 'Em in the Shins!")
Message edited 3/19/2007 7:22:00 AM.
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| Posted 3/19/07 7:21 AM |
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
BUT I do feel that no amount of lamaze or positive thinking can get you through delivery until you are already there and you see what works for you...You are probably receiving comments from people who have "been there and done that" wanted to go through Natural ChildBirth only to go through hours and hours of labor and to realize that they need some help...Then to feel like a failure...so if they have "failed" they want you to "fail" too...
Actually, I don't think these women ever went in wanting natural - I have heard many 1st time moms say right off the bat - "Hell NO am I doing this without drugs - bring em on!"
I personally feel that some feel a little threatened when they hear someone saying they want to try and do it naturally.
I know that people get very defensive when I tell them I'm vegan, and am raising my child vegetarian - I get a lot of arguments about that. All of a sudden, everyone turns into nutritionists on me - well, what about protein? What about this... And usually, these people just gave their kids McD's for lunch
when you go against the commonly held grain, then it freaks people out. When I took my Bradley class, my teacher said something I will never forget. she said some things become procedure, so we get them whether we need them or not. Just because they are procedure. It is a "Given" that the water will be broken for you if it doesnt break on its own. Routine epi, routine this, routine that... Go against procedure, and you get met with a lot of resistance.
That being said, I decided to go into my delivery with an open mind. I have NO idea what to expect, because I have nothing to compare it to. I have written my share of freak out posts on here - and they have all been related more to getting an epidural than the actual labor. But, it may all change when I am giving birth.
My responses, when people ask (and I SWEAR - more people have asked me the status of my vagina in so many ways since I have been pregnant, I could write a book  ) are the following:
* We want to delay going to the hospital as long as possible so that DH and I can do some of the exercises we learned in my classes that will "open me up" a little.
* I want to try and avoid an epidural if I can, but then again, I am speaking right now in this frame of mind. Maybe when I'm in labor and in pain, the idea of a needle going into my spine will sound a lot more appealing than it does right now. I can't make that judgement right now.
* I hope to GOD this kid comes out quick! 
Message edited 3/19/2007 7:44:01 AM.
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| Posted 3/19/07 7:42 AM |
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momoftwins
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/05 741 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
forget other peoples nasty remarks...believe in yourself! Lots of people do it and I believe you can too! Atleast you can give it a really good shot! I would't even tell people anymore...when its over you can say, yeah Im a supermom! Then they can't comment!
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| Posted 3/19/07 7:49 AM |
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DanaRenee
Fitness Junkie!
Member since 6/06 6470 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
I agree, I plan to give people as little information as possible. Its nobodys business if you want to have a natural childbirth and its no ones business why you choose to do it!!
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| Posted 3/19/07 7:59 AM |
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
Posted by hbugalla
I have watched so many "Baby Stories" where the Mom goes in wanting a Natural ChildBirth and then not being able to do it and for some reason they feel that they need to make excuses for themselves.
My point is THAT...I sincerely hope that you are able to do what you want to BUT DONT LET IT DRIVE YOU NUTS!!!!!! Go into delivery completely prepared for everything and should you decide that you need to have the epidural dont feel like you have failed and should your dr decide that you need a c dont feel that you have failed...
I am 100% on your side when it comes to Natural ChildBirth just realize that in the end you wont care how that baby go here..
I agree with this aswell.
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| Posted 3/19/07 8:16 AM |
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chelle
It's a Good Life
Member since 8/06 15404 total posts
Name:
Isn't it obvious?
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
Posted by hbugalla
My point was this...Dont feel that you have failed should you not be able to have a Natural Childbirth...Although I am sure you will..
First of all, I NEVER mentioned the word failure. Therefore, if complications arise and intervention need be, there is no such word to come to my mouth that says "failure".
This is MY decision. I AM going in with an open mind. I have absolutely NO FEAR of childbirth or the pain. Call me insane, but I just don't. The word "fear" has NEVER been in my vocabulary since the day I found out I was pregnant. I'm more afraid of chosing the wrong diapers!!
Since I was a little girl, being a mom has been my dream. Some people grow up knowing they want to be doctors or lawyers, or accountants. I knew that when I "grew up" all I wanted was to be was a mom.
I have a huge amount of faith that God will not hand me ANYTHING in this life that I can't handle. Be it a death, a scratch, a car accident, or childbirth.
I have the greatest respect of all for BTDT mom's. HAT'S OFF TO ALL THE LADIES!! I commend you on the greatest gift of all time and I in NO WAY will EVER say anything about YOUR birth experience. But please, this is MY experience. This is MY birth and when I respect ALL that is said to me... don't make me justify why I want the birth of MY baby to be natural!
I am NOT naive!!! I KNOW that "things happen out of our control" and I stated that in my original post! I stated that I am "open to whatever happens happens". But UNTIL THAT POINT I CHOOSE TO GO NATURAL!!
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| Posted 3/19/07 8:45 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
There is absolutely nothing wrong with your decision - what's wrong is that people have this need to make ridiculous comments.
I am so impressed with your decision to try for a natural birth. Forget what they say - you are amazing wanting to try it this way!!!
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| Posted 3/19/07 8:48 AM |
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chelle
It's a Good Life
Member since 8/06 15404 total posts
Name:
Isn't it obvious?
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
Posted by hbugalla
My point is THAT...I sincerely hope that you are able to do what you want to BUT DONT LET IT DRIVE YOU NUTS!!!!!!
The only thing that is driving me nuts is the fact that people are constantly making judgements about me because of how I am chsing to birth my child. It's driving me nuts that people have to make their unsolicited comments to me when I tell them. Why do I have to sit there and justify myself???
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| Posted 3/19/07 8:48 AM |
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chelle
It's a Good Life
Member since 8/06 15404 total posts
Name:
Isn't it obvious?
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Re: I am so sick and tired of people.... (VENT!)
Posted by Ang-Rich
There is absolutely nothing wrong with your decision - what's wrong is that people have this need to make ridiculous comments.
I am so impressed with your decision to try for a natural birth. Forget what they say - you are amazing wanting to try it this way!!!
Thank you ALL for your support. I also want to say that I in NO WAY think I am better than ANYONE in chosing this. I want to make myself VERY clear on that!! This is a VERY personal decision for me and like I said.... to each his own. So let it be that... my own.
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| Posted 3/19/07 8:51 AM |
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