I am sooo frustrated with DH... (long... sorry, I have NO other outlet)

So, long story short for the newbies... DH and I have been TTC since March and nothing... We went to the Dr to have "work done" and we were given the "all clear" (no PCOS, thyroid, sperm abnormalities or low count) as of a week ago.

DH and I planned to visit family this past weekend (which we just got back from) and even though we'd be visiting the fam, he still wanted to BD (duh! ) since it was said to be my "fertile period" by FF- btw: got a +OPK on Sat. ...

So, while away, I told DH about the +OPK and he was excited... or so I thought, and he said he was going to make it a point to "come to bed early" so we could BD (we were sleeping in a tent down by the lake away from the fam... not to be too disrespectful)... so what does the big DOLT do? Comes to bed at 330am EVERY night - HAMMERED!!! (still looking for BD mind you)... I refused, which I think is self-explanatory... I understand that he wants to spend time with him family for the short time we are with them, but when this is something that HE said HE would make sure to "take care of", I just don't understand...

When I spoke with DH about it, he felt really bad and guilty... but, in many ways I don't believe him... and in the same respect too little too late...
I thought that he wanted this as badly as I do... but I guess I'm wrong. (BTW: the same thing happened last month and July with our friends weekend wedding and MY birthday weekend getaway - it's just sooo wonderful to have big to-dos the same weekend I'm O'ing)

I am SO p i s s e d at him that I honestly think that I should "close up shop" until he shows some sort of true effort and maturity and self-control... I mean after 7 months of TTC and he pulls this three months in a row!
*****!

Re: I am sooo frustrated with DH... (long... sorry, I have NO other outlet)

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dear...

my love - i think we have ALL been through this before..while not identical situations...we ALL have these thoughts from time to time.

The number of arguments that Dave & I have had since starting to TTC 6 months ago - my GOD - in the 6 years we've been together, we NEVER fought this much total...

My opinion on this is that you both need to chill out - give it a day or two (or a few hours - your call). Sit down and explain to him what you are feeling, how you are feeling.

Dave told me POINT BLANK that when I tell him i'm ovulating, it puts soooooooooooooooooooooo much pressure on him that it's overwhelming. There is a good chance that this is happening to your DH and he's lubricating himself to relieve pressure...and then just overdoes it. If that's the case - then it's time to keep O to yourself.

I've learned it's much easier than you'd think...

Re: I am sooo frustrated with DH... (long... sorry, I have NO other outlet)

It seems like DH is being a big jerk BUT maybe he's afraid. I mean, TTC is a great thought- all the sex, then being pg. But when I think about it I kind of get scared myself. I mean it's a baby, a child, yours for the rest of your life. Something you are soley responsible for. That's scary and that's a huge commitment.

Maybe if you just kept track of O to yourself and not told him when you are. Maybe then he wouldn't think of the "big picture" but of you and all the sex your going to have. That's much more fun!

I hope things work out for you. Good luck!!

Re: I am sooo frustrated with DH... (long... sorry, I have NO other outlet)

This is the first month I "told" him about the OPK... he's kind of kept track himself since April... but, what's bothering me now is whether or not he's keeping track to "avoid" me during that weekend b/c he doesn't really want this... or if it happens to be just a coincidence. (Keep in mind, he's the one who initiated the TTC - I waited for him to bring it up for fear of too much pressure)

I'm so upset and angry that every time I look at him I want to just cry or scream...

Re: I am sooo frustrated with DH... (long... sorry, I have NO other outlet)

Maybe you should just ask him if he is really ready or not. Have the serious talk. Other than that I don't know what to say.

Re: I am sooo frustrated with DH... (long... sorry, I have NO other outlet)

I have similar issues with DH sometimes, where I get frustrated because he says and acts like he wants it as bad as I do, but then he'll do something retarded to make me think otherwise.

When you don't get pregnant right away, the woman in the relationship feels it emotionally and physically every month. She puts every thought into TTC with temping and charting and checking CM and doing OPKS and researching chatting on here and BDing and going through the TWW and POAS to find it's negative. On the other hand your DH is just going through his normal life just BDing when you tell him to and if your pregnant you are if not, there's always next month. I think most men have the mentality that when it happens great! But until then, who cares- lots of BD and still living a carefree life.

I honestly don't think it's because he's not ready, or he's trying to hurt you. He's just a typical guy and like Jess said- we've ALL been there at one time or another. They just think differently then we do.

Give him and yourself a break, and refocus. And we are always here when you need to vent.

Re: I am sooo frustrated with DH... (long... sorry, I have NO other outlet)

sorry you are going through this...
at some point i think most of us have a time where DH is just not cooperating, or acting childish.. i know how you must have felt so annoyed that he couldnt even go to bed early even 1 night.. i guess he just clearly was not thinking... i can actually say that if it was my situation and DH was visiting his family he would do the same thing.. he just forgets , and doesnt want to be on a SCHEDULE so he thinks its ok..

i know you are bummed, some of us can relate, you are not alone! hang in there!!