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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
so we have been doing CIO since saturday night. we've cut out DS's night feeding (he's 5 months) because we know he doesn't need it since he has slept through the night on occasion. i'm going back to work in a little while and i need him to be sleeping through the night by then.
he gets up at 3am every night (although sometimes 1am). we go in, tell him good night, pat his back and make sure everything's okay. we then leave the room and check on him on occasion. this is how my ped advised me to do it.
it's been 6 nights and he's STILL getting up and crying! i thought it would be over by now  the first night it was 2 hours of crying, other nights it was 1.5, last night it was half an hour BUT he cried hysterically and wouldn't go to bed until 10pm. he just wanted to play. so it seems to be getting less but it's inconsistent.
i'm going to keep going. i know it can take more than a week. i guess i just need reassurance that i'm doing it the right way and that it will work. i don't have a problem hearing DS cry because i know we are doing what's best for him in the long run.
any words of wisdom or encouragement would be great. i'm so tired because i stay up when he's crying but i stay in my room so he doesn't see me. 
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Posted 12/5/08 9:05 AM  |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
In my experience with my son, and I know a few others on here as well, when we would go in to comfort them it would in turn actually make them worse and get them even more worked up. Do you think that could be happening with your DS?
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| Posted 12/5/08 9:07 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
i don't have any advice but i wanted to send you some 
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| Posted 12/5/08 9:09 AM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
Posted by Diana1215
In my experience with my son, and I know a few others on here as well, when we would go in to comfort them it would in turn actually make them worse and get them even more worked up. Do you think that could be happening with your DS?
that's possible. i try to only go in when he first cries just to make sure everything is okay (no poopy diaper blowout, didn't throw up, etc). i peek in on him on occasion (should have mentioned it was a peek, not a visit) but don't let him see me.
should i not go in that first time?
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| Posted 12/5/08 9:11 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
Posted by browneyedgirl
Posted by Diana1215
In my experience with my son, and I know a few others on here as well, when we would go in to comfort them it would in turn actually make them worse and get them even more worked up. Do you think that could be happening with your DS?
that's possible. i try to only go in when he first cries just to make sure everything is okay (no poopy diaper blowout, didn't throw up, etc). i peek in on him on occasion (should have mentioned it was a peek, not a visit) but don't let him see me.
should i not go in that first time?
I don't know - it's really up to you and your comfort level! Everyone has different systems of CIO that work for them - so you will def. get a hundred different responses on this one!
Do you have a video monitor? This was my savior when we started CIO!
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| Posted 12/5/08 9:12 AM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
Posted by Diana1215
In my experience with my son, and I know a few others on here as well, when we would go in to comfort them it would in turn actually make them worse and get them even more worked up. Do you think that could be happening with your DS?
This was our problem. It would make ds even more mad if we went in and then left. So no checks for us! 
You're doing good though. I would give it another week and see if anything changes. If the amount of crying has decreased... that's a good thing. When it's inconsistent, he's just testing you and this will happen from time to time.
Is ds on solids yet?
*ETA: As Diana mentioned, the video monitor has been a lifesaver for us. We mostly do CIO for naps right now. We tried CIO at night once, but it was hard and we figured we would just start with either naps or nighttime, not both at once.
Also on your visits, is the bedroom door closed? I ask because my door makes a noise so even if i go to peek in, he knows that i'm there even without seeing me.
Message edited 12/5/2008 9:20:48 AM.
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| Posted 12/5/08 9:17 AM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
what time are you putting him to bed?
if its not that early--yes..check and make sure he is not wet or had a poop then reassure then leave.
My first I did Dr. Ferber, you go in every 5 mins to reassure then after that no longer go in.
With my son max if I go in he gets crazed-i am better off checking 1x to see if there is a issue then not going back in.
You can also try a white noise machine.
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| Posted 12/5/08 9:18 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
I sucked at CIO, I could NOT listen to my dd cry for an extended period of time...I rocked her to sleep for the 1st year  
Wouldn't you know, I have one of the best sleepers. She NEVER wakes up at night. She began resisting my rocking at around 12 months, so I began just putting her in her crib...sometimes she talks for a bit and falls asleep, sometimes she cries (less than 5 minutes) and falls asleep
CIO is not right for every baby...good luck
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| Posted 12/5/08 9:18 AM |
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mommy2devin
2 Boys, I need calgon!
Member since 10/07 1572 total posts
Name:
Shannon
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
Posted by Diana1215
In my experience with my son, and I know a few others on here as well, when we would go in to comfort them it would in turn actually make them worse and get them even more worked up. Do you think that could be happening with your DS?
I definitely CANNOT go back in once I leave the room. Once that door closes, that's it. Unless he is absolutely hysterical for quite a while (and you will be able to tell that after a while of CIO), or he is sick I DO NOT go back in. Do you think that you would be able to try that?
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| Posted 12/5/08 9:20 AM |
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firsttimer
Member since 5/07 1532 total posts
Name:
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
My 5 month old is doing the same thing.
She refuses to go to sleep (bedtime was 7 but she doesn't want to go sleep then anymore) and cries when we put her down. So we are putting her down later per the ped's advce.
She has also been waking up in the middle of the night. I do not feed her, but I do pop the pacifier back in and snuggle her. She only goes back to sleep if I pick her up.
We are not CIO yet but that's because we all share a room and it is pointless as of right now.
I attribute the new sleep pattern to teething so I do pick her up but then I am exhausted the next day
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| Posted 12/5/08 9:23 AM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
Name:
MrsDrMatt
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
The more times we physically went to comfort dd, the more she would wake up.
It is so hard to hear your baby cry! I sympathize!
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| Posted 12/5/08 9:42 AM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
OK, not sure if this is going to be a popular reply, but is it possible that you might be trying CIO a little too early? We did the Ferber method with DS and the book suggested not doing it before 6 months. Maybe DS still just needs you and is not ready for CIO.
Believe me, before we hit the 6 month mark, I was soooo tempted to start using it, but we waited. Like I said, I could be wrong, but thought I would throw it out there.
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| Posted 12/5/08 9:56 AM |
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S00N2BEAMOM
LIF Toddler
Member since 12/07 390 total posts
Name:
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
We found that pushing back his bedtime worked best for us because it enabled us to get more sleep when he was sleeping. At first he was going to sleep at 8pm and waking up at 2am. We now give him his last bottle around 9:45 and we try to get him to take at least 6oz he'll usually do between 6-8hrs ...if he wakes in the night we will not give him anymore than a 4oz bottle. He's been sleeping through the night 2 out of 3 times. GL  hopefully it will fall into place before you go back to work.
Message edited 12/5/2008 10:27:03 AM.
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| Posted 12/5/08 10:07 AM |
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MEWF
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/07 503 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
first its not easy beign a mom!!!
i have 5 months old twin boys and they have been sleeping thru the night since 2.5 months. i followed the baby whisperer. it talks about pick up put down rather than cio. until 4 months i put them to bed at 730, fed them at 10/30 11 pm "while they were sleeping" and then about a month ago i stopped that now they sleep 715 to 7/730.
When you go in are you making eye contact or talking to your son? i have heard by doing that it encourages them to thikn of play time. and when chekcking on babies better to just go in see if they are ok, comfort them and leave but try not to make a game of it. its so ahrd b.c every baby is differnt... what seems like its workign or not working for one may be differnt for another...
you have to do what is right for you but CIO for 2 hrs sounds like a very long time, even 30 min sounds like a lot.
is you baby crying or whining? b.c one of my boys sometiems is whiny and that i let him do b.c he just wants to play and he has to learn that 8pm is not play time.
best of luck to you. this period wont last forever!!!
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| Posted 12/5/08 10:19 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
Posted by jerseypanda
OK, not sure if this is going to be a popular reply, but is it possible that you might be trying CIO a little too early? We did the Ferber method with DS and the book suggested not doing it before 6 months. Maybe DS still just needs you and is not ready for CIO.
Believe me, before we hit the 6 month mark, I was soooo tempted to start using it, but we waited. Like I said, I could be wrong, but thought I would throw it out there.
I agree with this but did not want to sound like a broken record....
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| Posted 12/5/08 10:27 AM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
thank you everyone for your replies!
i don't mind unpopular responses! i like honesty! i don't think he's too young though because i know he can go through the night without eating since he's done it before. i checked with my ped and he agreed it was time, so i feel comfortable doing it.
here's an update: it has gotten a little better! i took the suggestion of pushing back his nighttime routine. last night he got up at 3:30 but only stayed awake for 10 minutes!!!  DH didn't even go in the room to check on him at all. that's such an improvement from 2 hours
he's having a little trouble falling asleep though at bedtime now. i think it's because i changed the time (even though it's not a major change).
i just hope it keeps going like this and we'll have a sleeper by next week hopefully
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| Posted 12/6/08 10:23 AM |
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LoriH
There's no place like home
Member since 8/07 4110 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
Posted by browneyedgirl
thank you everyone for your replies!
i don't mind unpopular responses! i like honesty! i don't think he's too young though because i know he can go through the night without eating since he's done it before. i checked with my ped and he agreed it was time, so i feel comfortable doing it.
here's an update: it has gotten a little better! i took the suggestion of pushing back his nighttime routine. last night he got up at 3:30 but only stayed awake for 10 minutes!!! DH didn't even go in the room to check on him at all. that's such an improvement from 2 hours
he's having a little trouble falling asleep though at bedtime now. i think it's because i changed the time (even though it's not a major change).
i just hope it keeps going like this and we'll have a sleeper by next week hopefully
This is what we did with DD. she currently goes to bed at 9 or 9:30pm. She sleeps through the night and doesn't wake until 8 - 8:30 am. this works perfect for me right now because I work at home and it gives me baby free time to get things done in the morning. We always make sure she gets a bottle and some cereal before bed as well.
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| Posted 12/6/08 10:59 AM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
I agree with previous posters that say its worse when you actually go in and comfort them. It seems to wake them up more. Even now, if I go into the room to check on DD when crying at night, I know we are going to be up for a couple of hours. If I let her cry for a few minutes, she goes right back out.
This has been true since we have been doing CIO at 6 months. She is now 23 months and a great sleeper- even through a horrible nightmare phase.
Good luck- it does get easier.
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| Posted 12/6/08 12:01 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
Posted by jerseypanda
OK, not sure if this is going to be a popular reply, but is it possible that you might be trying CIO a little too early? We did the Ferber method with DS and the book suggested not doing it before 6 months. Maybe DS still just needs you and is not ready for CIO.
Believe me, before we hit the 6 month mark, I was soooo tempted to start using it, but we waited. Like I said, I could be wrong, but thought I would throw it out there.
I agree with this. MY doctor was completely against it until my dd was over 6 mo because he thought she still could be hungry. I know some books say four months, but I felt better about waiting until 6 mo. JMHO. BUt then again, I am a "by the book" kind of parent.
ETA Woops, I did not see that you already responded to this comment. Nevermind. Hope your nights get better quick.
Message edited 12/6/2008 8:19:13 PM.
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| Posted 12/6/08 8:15 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
do you have a video monitor? That helps me b/c I know when to go in there and when she is just fussing for fuss's sake.
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| Posted 12/6/08 9:12 PM |
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groovypeg
:)
Member since 5/05 2423 total posts
Name:
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Re: i don't know if CIO is working...PLEASE HELP!!
Posted by saraH
do you have a video monitor? That helps me b/c I know when to go in there and when she is just fussing for fuss's sake.
the video monitor was my salvation! especially when we did cio. i highly recommend it.
have you read ferbers book yet? i found it to be extremely helpful and followed it exactly like he said and it has worked wonders.
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| Posted 12/6/08 11:22 PM |
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