I Hate My Job... (Vent/Rant - Long)

And I'm stuck here.

I work with my ILs, DH and BIL at their accounting office. Yeah, I'm not really stuck, but it would be SUPER hard to leave.

MIL is my immediate supervisor and it's killing my relationship with her. Actually, it killed it about 5 years ago. I now think she is a passive aggressive office drone. I shouldn't think that way about her! I don't want to! I used to like her!

Why would it be super hard to leave? Ugh, so many reasons. Just to name a few: Health Insurance, incredibly flexible vacation time and decent pay (not fantastic, just decent).

I've also been out of Grad School for 6 years with no experience in my field (I have an MA in English and my only experience was when I was a writing counselor at St. Johns while I was a student). I never wanted to teach, but I was always interested in publishing houses and I started applying to administrative positions in big pub. houses and media based companies hoping to break in that way and work my way up. NOTHING. NO BITES. I don't even know how many resumes I've sent out. I really think I'm stuck here.

Also, DH would completely disapprove of me leaving for a job that's completely different from what I studied in school/what I'm interested in. For example, if I left for an admin job in real estate, he would get really pisssed. Yeah, it shouldn't matter what he thinks (or it should?), but in the end, he's right. I shouldn't move laterally to a place that probably doesn't have the freedom that this job has; the only plus would be that I wouldn't be working for my ILs. He doesn't understand that. I used to complain to him a lot, but that turned out to be a huge strain on us because they're his parents. What can he do?

I am the epitome of an "Office B!tch." I am a professional envelope stuffer.

People have told me about websites for freelance work to boost my resume, but I just don't have the time for it. I come home almost completely drained.

I know the answer to this post anyway: Keep applying to jobs, something will come up.

This is SUCH a Waaaambulace post, but I needed to vent and that's what you're all here for right?

Re: I Hate My Job... (Vent/Rant - Long)

first:

second: think of what makes you happy and focus on that. for now (or for always?!) if its taking lots of vacations and flexible hours, they focus on that at the moment.

im sorry you feel stuck, and i understand...but, at some point, you need to do whats good for your sanity too.

just take it one day at a time. and one glass of at a time too

Re: I Hate My Job... (Vent/Rant - Long)

Aww Becca

When I was laid off, I was devastated for all of 5 minutes. My job was killing me and the stress it put on me was hurting me physically and mentally. I can only imagine how much worse it could be if I was working for family. Sometimes family and work just don't mix, and I think your DH should be supportive of you pursuing other avenues. What's the point of working together if it is affecting your relationship with him and the ILs?

I would have a heart to heart with DH and explain how you feel. I personally know my DH would need a clear path of where I wanted to go, how I planned to go about obtaining it, and a fall back plan in case. Maybe if you approach DH with a clear plan, he'd more willing to hear you out and support you.

Best of luck

Re: I Hate My Job... (Vent/Rant - Long)

That's a tough spot to be in.

I think your personal health means a lot mental stress becomes physical. I know the vacation and stuff is great but what good is vacation if you're not happy?

I wasn't in YOUR situation but a bad job. I hated it so badly it makes me cringe thinking about it. Worst decision ever. I stuck it out for a year. Then finally my husband said "if I gave you a $100k would it make you happier to work there" and I thought about it.. as I did he stopped me and said "if you even have to THINK about it, then leave"

A lateral move isn't bad if you GAIN something. If you gain then its not lateral is it? You gain peace of mind and less stress, right?

Good Luck..

Re: I Hate My Job... (Vent/Rant - Long)

that's a really hard situation to but in

I would definitely talk to your DH and let him know that working with your IL's, while it has it's perks, it's also straining your relationship with them. Like you said, you have vented to him before so he knows how you feel. Put a positive spin on it and let him know that you want to build a better relationship with your MIL and with seeing her at work everyday, it makes it very difficult.

You need to really think about what makes you happy and even if something doesn't bit right away, don't give up! Life is way too short and we are at work more than home most days so you want to make sure you are doing something that makes you happy and have passion for.

Good luck!

Re: I Hate My Job... (Vent/Rant - Long)

could you imagine working there for the REST of your life?! why exactly wont your dh be supportive of you changing careers? he must know how completely miserable you are there, right? is it because you'll take a pay cut? or he doesnt want to deal with family backlash of you leaving? maybe if you can pinpoint that, you can get the support you need to find a different career, or at least a jumping off point. there's a ton you can do with a grad degree. you need to be happy- your dh will support that.

the only bad thing about you leaving is that i would miss all the awesome MIL stories.

Re: I Hate My Job... (Vent/Rant - Long)

I think you should tell your husband that you want to do something else. Don't tell him his parents are annoying! Tell him you don't want to stuff envelopes forever & while working the family business has been a good opportunity, you want to look for something with more growth potential.

Maybe you could switch to part time & look into freelance.

What aspect of publishing are you interested in? A lot of companies hire from within, so you may have to start out stuffing envelopes, but in larger companies there is growth potential, and in smaller companies you get a lot of hands on training (b/c everyone does 3 people'
s jobs) and that can help you transition to a larger company.

Re: I Hate My Job... (Vent/Rant - Long)

Also consider doing a skills-based resume.

You may be surprised about how much you know already that can be applicable to other fields.

I'm a social worker, and it's amazing the amount of people who work in this area who cannot string together a couple of sentences properly.

English is also their first language, so there is absolutely no excuse!

Re: I Hate My Job... (Vent/Rant - Long)

it stucks to feel trapped in a job you hate.

Let's pretend that you have to be there for another 5 years. Is that where you want to be? If the answer is NO, then do something about it now. Only you can change your life.

You can't stay in a job that is making your miserable & continuing to strain things in your family because DH would be upset with you for not sticking to their field. I can't even count the number of people I know that have advanced degrees & are not in the original career they thought they'd be in. It doesn't make your degree a waste of time. Heck, I have a psych degree which keeps me sane as I deal with the HR issues that crop up. I can also diagnose my co-workers

As for the perks of your job, they don't sound much different than what other jobs offer. Health Insurance? What would happen if you got a job that offers health insurance? You'd go off their plan & that would reduce their costs. In fact, DH could be insured under you. Flexible vacation time? Yes, you're going to have to plan your vacations. In my opinion, it's a small price to pay for being happier at your job & repairing your relationship with your ILs.

Have people you trust & respect review your resume - if you've sent it out & have no bites, there may be things you are not including or sections that can be expanded.

Apply. Interview. Don't give up. An MA in English can be parlayed into countless other jobs.

Message edited 1/12/2012 9:28:36 AM.