Re: I know it's probably just my hormones and me being emotional...

I really love you girls, you have no idea. I knew if I posted how I was feeling, someone would relate. I appreciate hearing all of your stories because they really do make me feel SO much better. I know it will all fall into place, but it's just sad right now. I'm afraid of forgetting what it was like to just be the three of us. I don't ever want to forget that. It was such a special time in our lives and losing those memories would be a horrible thing to me. But I know they will adore each other. Heck, Ava adores Chase now. I know I never would have felt complete without having another child. And in many ways, I do feel complete now. So I'm going to let things settle for now and just let my feelings be what they are. I know I can't fight them, I have to just let them come, acknowledge them and let go of them. Thank you so much again. You girls always make me feel better

Re: I know it's probably just my hormones and me being emotional...

I felt exactly the same way my first days home. Now I can't imagine our lives without Alexandra. You'll get into a grove soon enough and if you have any help that can take Chase, even if it's an hour at a time, you can spend some quality time with Ava.

Re: I know it's probably just my hormones and me being emotional...

Posted by julz33

I fear the same thing. Landon's life is going to be completely destroyed once the twins are born. I kept telling myself it is only temporary though. Once that newborn stage is over...

Re: I know it's probably just my hormones and me being emotional...

I broke down crying about this about a month or two ago. I was so upset that my DD was going to have to deal with DH not having the energy to play with her and then just a couple of weeks later I'm going to bring the mysterious "Baby Brother" home. Totally turning her world upside down.

Even now I feel twinges as I start to prepare... the car seat, the clothes, the co-sleeper... she asks me "mommy, this baby brother's?" And then she points out all of HER toys and HER stroller and HER car seat... and guilt just comes naturally to me.

I get it.

Re: I know it's probably just my hormones and me being emotional...

I felt the same exact way when we first brought Colin home. I'm sure it was hormones, because it got much better after a few weeks. Hang in there, you're doing a great job!

Re: I know it's probably just my hormones and me being emotional...

Rachel, while all I remember from Alex's first 6 months is the terror of her colic and my overwhelming depression, the biggest memory for me when Yael was born, was the mourning of my former bond with Alex. Every night, after putting Yael to sleep, I would walk over to Alex's room, sit on her bed while she slept, and just wept and wept and wept. I missed her. I missed her so much I felt like my heart was ripping open. And I will admit, as much as I adored Yael, a small part of me was resentful against her.

Anytime one of my friends tells me they are pregnant with #2, I tell them about what I went through, so they know. And I'll tell you this, about 10 months into it, with a modest amount of hindsight - it DOES get better, I promise.

Just as with your first - initially you will long for the normalcy of your old life, your old routine. But, then, with time, you will see that there is a "new" normal, with Chase in the mix, and you all have to figure out a new routine, with him in it. And when the dust settles, it will all work out, and he will fit seamlessly into that bond you had with Ava.

I'll tell you this - 10 months later, I have no regrets, no pangs of guilt. I can't describe the emotions I feel when I see Alex and Yael playing together. And my bond with Alex has only grown stronger over the last few months, as she became my mother's helper, joining in to help me with anything that has to do with Yael, at anytime. It's absolutely heartwarming...

Message edited 6/5/2010 9:35:28 PM.

Re: I know it's probably just my hormones and me being emotional...

It's your hormones. You and DH gave each other the 2 best gifts you'll ever have in life and you just gave Ava hers; her buddy for life Chase.

Can't you bring the baby on the couch with you while you are cuddling, laughing and telling jokes with Ava?

Re: I know it's probably just my hormones and me being emotional...

I think once you get into a routine, it will be much easier. Maybe have Ava come cuddle when you feed Chase. In about a month or so, it will probably get a little easier and each month that goes by easier than that!

Re: I know it's probably just my hormones and me being emotional...

I think we as moms tend to overthink the effect a sibling will have on our first child. It's an emotional time...you went from it just being you and your DD to having another baby.

But I assure you...children are so so adaptable and giving her a sibling is one of the best things you could ever do!

It's funny because there was never a time in my life that I remember NOT having a sibling! lol. I loved having my brothers and sisters, it was awesome. And I know I had that small fear and sadness when I had Ryan..I was afraid Johnny would feel sad and it would take a toll on him, but now it is like Ryan has always been here. It's wonderful. I can't imagine not having them both! And I can't wait to someday have another. I no longer will have that fear because I see how great its been..

Good luck to you, congrats on your new baby and enjoy!! You will always have a special bond with your first and won't ever lose it..