I know this has been brought up before - but I need to rant...moms unite

Reading Lori's post made me think- what are we SUPPOSED to do as moms?

Why do people judge if we stay home - and if we work. We get judged if we nurse...or don't nurse, etc...

Why do we feel we need to defend ourselves either way?

Why does guilt come along with not working/and with working?

Why don't Dads deal with this pressure?

Why are we our own worst enemies by judging eachother? And really by judging ourselves.

What IS the right thing to do? (I know there is no answer to this) Why is there so much pressure for women to be everything and DO everything perfectly.

There seems to be a lot of this going around lately (and this board is NOT immune to it if you know what I mean).

Ok...I'm off my soapbox but I had to get that out...carry on.


eta: Can't we all just agree TOGETHER that no matter what we do - or don't do - that we are just doing the best we know how at the time!??!

Message edited 8/8/2007 2:37:54 PM.

Re: I know this has been brought up before - but I need to rant...moms unite

I think we are supposed to raise our kids....and there is no "supposed" or "how to" do it right because what's right to us, is wrong to someone else.

I used to get slack for Alys' bedtime of 6:30pm and that I made my day revolve around her sleep schedule since she'd only sleep in her crib.

Did I care? NOPE. Why? Because I felt it was what I was supposed to do for her.

All I know is that I want my kids to have better than I had growing up...emotionally, materially, socially.

Re: I know this has been brought up before - but I need to rant...moms unite

I don't know if those whys could ever be answered across the board

Everyone has their own way of doing things based on tradition, their own family upbringing, and own beliefs and that all gets incorporated on raising their own kids.

Sometimes I think we all get that "grass in greener" thing in us and we are always wanting what others have and based on that we make judgements and assumptions.

As moms we need support each other and be open to others views, beliefs etc.

I do think dads get it too, my DH actually had to deal with a co worker yesterday at work questioning him on if I was bf'ing and why i wasn't this time, this coworker is a dad himself!
I was so p'o'd I told him he should have told him to mind his business and not explain OUR Choice!!

ETA: MrsR i totally agree with your rant 100%

Message edited 8/8/2007 3:02:44 PM.

Re: I know this has been brought up before - but I need to rant...moms unite

Re: I know this has been brought up before - but I need to rant...moms unite

Brava BRAVA


Honestly, and I suspect I'll get flamed for this, but I think the reason why we, as women, judge one another SO harshly with regard to parenting is because (1) it's probably the most important issue to most of us, and (2) because women are generally less secure in themselves as compared to our less-intelligent counterparts And, in my experience insecurity quickly turns to judgment, to mask the insecurity and make that person feel better about themself and their choices.

Disclaimer - I am speaking in generalities, this has absolutely no application whatsoever to anyone on here, at least, none that I can think of at this moment

Like my ex always used to say: Women could rule the world, if they only could get along.

Re: I know this has been brought up before - but I need to rant...moms unite

Posted by Bxgell2

Brava BRAVA


Honestly, and I suspect I'll get flamed for this, but I think the reason why we, as women, judge one another SO harshly with regard to parenting is because (1) it's probably the most important issue to most of us, and (2) because women are generally less secure in themselves as compared to our less-intelligent counterparts And, in my experience insecurity quickly turns to judgment, to mask the insecurity and make that person feel better about themself and their choices.

Disclaimer - I am speaking in generalities, this has absolutely no application whatsoever to anyone on here, at least, none that I can think of at this moment

Like my ex always used to say: Women could rule the world, if they only could get along.

Re: I know this has been brought up before - but I need to rant...moms unite

I think that people judge others because they are not happy in their own decisions.

I do what is right for my family and that is all I care about. I don't feel guilt for one second that I need to work, becuase that is what I need to do for my boys. I could care less that someone else wants to or chooses to stay home, it doens't affect me so why should I be bothered by it one way or the other.

I also could care less when people make comments to me about not wanting to let my children sleep at someone's house, we go home at bed time, sorry if that doens't worj for you, but it works for us.

I just don't get why other's need to judge the decisions that other parent's make as long as those decision don't affect you.

My SIL on the other hand her stupid *** decisions are judged since her decisions in bad parenting affect me personally, and I ahve to dela with her aksing for advise that she does not take.

Message edited 8/8/2007 4:18:55 PM.

Re: I know this has been brought up before - but I need to rant...moms unite

Posted by Bxgell2

Brava BRAVA


Honestly, and I suspect I'll get flamed for this, but I think the reason why we, as women, judge one another SO harshly with regard to parenting is because (1) it's probably the most important issue to most of us, and (2) because women are generally less secure in themselves as compared to our less-intelligent counterparts And, in my experience insecurity quickly turns to judgment, to mask the insecurity and make that person feel better about themself and their choices.

Disclaimer - I am speaking in generalities, this has absolutely no application whatsoever to anyone on here, at least, none that I can think of at this moment

Like my ex always used to say: Women could rule the world, if they only could get along.

Re: I know this has been brought up before - but I need to rant...moms unite

Re: I know this has been brought up before - but I need to rant...moms unite

Re: I know this has been brought up before - but I need to rant...moms unite

I understand completely what you are saying.

I really try not to judge others because everyone's life is different, and what works for them might not work for me.
To each it's own.

Motherhood should be respected no matter what, is one of the most challenging and hardest job I ever had.