Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

You should withdraw from the wedding party. It doesn't sound like you are good friends anymore. For your sake and hers you should back out.

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

You are NOT a bad friend. I am amazed you have stuck it out this far with her.

Let her know that the expenses are too much for you, that all of these things are too close together. If she doesn't like it, drop out of the bp. You'll be better off.

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

I think if I already bought the dress, I might still go through with it, but I would tell her I am at the limit on what I can spend for the wedding.

You are not free any other weekend for the bachelorette party and don't have the money for it. If she is a real friend, she'll accept it. If she still says you have to do things her way, I would drop out.

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

This is a lot to deal with $ wise in such a short time. Of course she wants everything that everyone else gets when their time comes, hers is just a little more compressed.

Maybe you can compromise by not attending one event, for example the bachelorette party? To me that would make the most sense.

Good luck!

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

I think you should definitely excuse yourself from the bachelorette party. If you are anything like me, going will just upset you even more than you are already. By saying that you are not available, you won't have to help organize it either. Be there for your friend on her wedding day (if they make it that far), but between the expense and crazy schedule, I think it's acceptable for you to skip a few things.

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

A little friend trimming might be in order. I think it's only going to get worse, so cut the strings now.

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

I think its fair that you be in her bp and do the dress and nails but tell her that because of the time, money and baby constraints you just cannot do the bachelorette. Overall you are still very generous and a good friend.

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

I don't think you are a bad friend.

If $$ is becoming an issue, then be honest and tell her so. If she's already b*tching about one of the other BM's, then maybe if she hears it from you too she will realize she's asking too much.

I would def. tell her you can't organize, fund or participate in her bachelorette party.

Do what's best for YOU, not your friend or the other bridesmaids. If being in the wedding means paying for an expensive dress, hair style, makeup etc. then tell her you can't be a bridesmaid. That doesn't mean you're not going to be her friend, just that you can't take on that much right now.

If SHE is a good FRIEND, then she should understand
.

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

tell her you just cant do the bacherlorette. you have to wake up early for your baby and you just cant stay out. i mean come on you have responsibilities. you could try talking to her, but it looks like you did that already.

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

I would flat out tell her you will be in the wedding but cannot afford all of these other expenses....if you are close, she should understand....my good friend who I have known since I was a baby did not come to my bachelorette party because it was on a thursday and she had no one to watch her 2 kids...I was not mad AT ALL


good luck

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend

First off, if anyone is a bad friend around here, its her. She clearly has no consideration for the finances of her BP.

If she is a close friend (which it sounds like she is), tell her that this is just too much for you to do all this. Tell her what you can do, and what you can't do (like the bachelorette party). If you miss her bachelorette party then you can take her out for dinner, just the two of you to make up for it. I would also tell her you understand if she wants you to back out of the BP, but that is not what you want. A good friend would understand.

I had a friend who I was a BM for. She got married in another country. I was the only BM that came. For her bachelorette party, we had a spa day - where we all paid for our own manicures (Bride's sister paid for hers) and then we went out in Manhattan (and we all live in Manhattan) with a larger group. 3 of the BM didn't come out that night for various reasons including $ (mind you they were nto actually attending the wedding- so no dress, hair, nails, etc... expense) and the bride totally understood. That is what a true friend does.

Re: I know you all prob think Im a sh!tty friend