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I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
There has been no change for my stepdaughter. DH and I are so fed up with her....
No changes have been made. She has failed everything. She has made no attemps. Not even to sign up for Driver's Ed. Nothing.
And, her mom is dragging her a s s on getting health insurance for her so that we can find a therapist for her. DH told his ex that they are going to have to pay for therapy for her out of their own pockets in the meantime, but its still goign to take friggen forever to find her someone....
all my stepdaughter cares about is reading magazines, listening to music, hanging out with her friends, and spending hours in the bathroom doing her hair and makeup...
I feel like she needs a swift kick in the
a s s, and a huge reality check. She has everyone else worryign about her, her mother buying her outfit after outfit, and she is sitting around doing nothing.
Now I am trying to find out how she can obtain her GED. She needs to be removed from that school where all her friends are, because all she does is cut and do nothing....
Ladies, I PRAY that no one ever has to deal with this with their own child. Nothing is more heartbreaking and frustrating. I am so fed up and I don't know what to do...
I want to punch and scream. DH wants to kill her, and he rarely gets that angry about anything....
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Posted 1/4/08 9:58 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
 One day she's going to look back and realize how much you care about her.
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| Posted 1/4/08 9:59 AM |
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waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by CathyB
One day she's going to look back and realize how much you care about her.
Exactly. I hope it's sooner than later.
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:03 AM |
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
I hope she straightens herself out! 
for you.
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:05 AM |
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SweetCin
My green-eyed boy
Member since 5/05 13499 total posts
Name:
Cin
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
to you Liza...I know it can't be easy. Like the AP said, one day she'll look back & realize all you've been doing for her. For the time being something major has to change...like you said pulling her out of the school (maybe transferring her??) may make a difference. What about taking away her cell phone or limiting computer/phone time?
I don't know what to say
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:06 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:08 AM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this when I know how much you want for this child. It's so unfortunate that her regrets will come too late
's for you for not giving up.
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:09 AM |
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tiki03
*************
Member since 9/05 8660 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:14 AM |
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by SweetCin
to you Liza...I know it can't be easy. Like the AP said, one day she'll look back & realize all you've been doing for her. For the time being something major has to change...like you said pulling her out of the school (maybe transferring her??) may make a difference. What about taking away her cell phone or limiting computer/phone time?
I don't know what to say
Cindy - there is NOT one thing left to take away!!!
she lost a school trip to Italy last year! And for graduation her Aunt, who has no kids and spoils her neices and nephews rotten, was supposed to take her to Europe!!! And she would have gotten the MOTHERLOAD there... so what else is there???
Message edited 1/4/2008 10:20:01 AM.
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:19 AM |
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aja
my princess
Member since 10/05 2936 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
it must be so frustrating when you want to help someone and they make no effort
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:23 AM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
You are doing such a great job with her. It is such a shame she will realize it too late
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:24 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
I am going to be blunty honest (you know me!!). While you cannot give up on her (especially her dad!) and want to do everything for her and bring her to therapy, I am worried that it would be a waste of money. She will say "yes, yes" and go back to her magazines. Obviously all the talks/tears have not changed anything.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this!
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:25 AM |
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DmarieK
My loves!!
Member since 1/06 9203 total posts
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
all my stepdaughter cares about is reading magazines, listening to music, hanging out with her friends, and spending hours in the bathroom doing her hair and makeup...
Can you try taking these things away from her...at least while she's with you guys and not her mom?
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:35 AM |
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by DmarieK
all my stepdaughter cares about is reading magazines, listening to music, hanging out with her friends, and spending hours in the bathroom doing her hair and makeup...
Can you try taking these things away from her...at least while she's with you guys and not her mom?
We have!!! She was grounded all last year! She didn't go to one sweet 16 party - not even her best friend's!!!!
Her Ipod was taken away, her phone, everything....
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:55 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
sorry you are going through this
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:57 AM |
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by smdl
I am going to be blunty honest (you know me!!). While you cannot give up on her (especially her dad!) and want to do everything for her and bring her to therapy, I am worried that it would be a waste of money. She will say "yes, yes" and go back to her magazines. Obviously all the talks/tears have not changed anything.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this!
know what Sophie? I completely agree... BUT - we still have to at least try since we haven't done it yet... I would rather it be under insurance so at least we will be losing a 10 dollar copay rather than 100+ dollars, but if we don't try, then DH feels we are giving up completely...
she is a clam. She won't open up.
BTW - why are you back to your old avatar????? What happened to your little Ethan picture? 
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| Posted 1/4/08 10:57 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by smdl
I am going to be blunty honest (you know me!!). While you cannot give up on her (especially her dad!) and want to do everything for her and bring her to therapy, I am worried that it would be a waste of money. She will say "yes, yes" and go back to her magazines. Obviously all the talks/tears have not changed anything.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this!
know what Sophie? I completely agree... BUT - we still have to at least try since we haven't done it yet... I would rather it be under insurance so at least we will be losing a 10 dollar copay rather than 100+ dollars, but if we don't try, then DH feels we are giving up completely...
she is a clam. She won't open up.
BTW - why are you back to your old avatar????? What happened to your little Ethan picture?
I don't agree. I think the right therapist will be able to help her work through whatever she is going through.
As far as discplinary actions, you just haven't found something she really cares about to take away yet and that is why the affect has been limited. Another tough spot is that she can play mom and dad against each other so lots of disclpine goes out the window.
Obviously grounding doesn't work so I would stop doing that. Does she have a door to her room, I might take that away and make her earn it back.
Will the school offer any type of support?
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| Posted 1/4/08 11:04 AM |
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Selden78
I lvoe the fall :)
Member since 6/06 3543 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
i hope everything work out for you...
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| Posted 1/4/08 11:06 AM |
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
I was a terribely moody teenager and di NOT get along with my parents at ALL
I was disrespectful,mean I didnt follow their rules and I am an only child
they were great parents and tried everything but I was just TERRIBLE
things change.......I am a responsible loving caring person now and have a GREAT relationship with both my parents
it wont always be this way things will change dont lose hope and ALWAYS have your arms open for her
she may not even know WHY she is being the way she is right now
dont lock the door and throw away the key.......make sure she knows you guys will be there for her no matter what......she will come around
I am so sorry you have to go through this
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| Posted 1/4/08 11:11 AM |
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Laura1
Fun in the Snow!
Member since 11/06 4512 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Liza....I am so sorry that nothing seems to be helping her get her act together. It must be so frustrating to go through this
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| Posted 1/4/08 11:23 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by smdl
I am going to be blunty honest (you know me!!). While you cannot give up on her (especially her dad!) and want to do everything for her and bring her to therapy, I am worried that it would be a waste of money. She will say "yes, yes" and go back to her magazines. Obviously all the talks/tears have not changed anything.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this!
know what Sophie? I completely agree... BUT - we still have to at least try since we haven't done it yet... I would rather it be under insurance so at least we will be losing a 10 dollar copay rather than 100+ dollars, but if we don't try, then DH feels we are giving up completely...
she is a clam. She won't open up.
BTW - why are you back to your old avatar????? What happened to your little Ethan picture?
I did not change my avatar back. 
I know you have to try the therapy just in case it works. And no, you can't give up on her. I know! It's so hard!
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| Posted 1/4/08 11:55 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
OK maybe I am way off here, but maybe school is boring her? I know that there are other issues there, but since she is super-interested in doing her hair, make-up, etc, maybe get her into the Cosmetology program at BOCES. That way she will still be able to do what it seems like interests her, and she will need to take some core classes as well. I am honestly surprised her guidance counselor did not already offer this info
Does your school offer ALP? (Alternative Learning Programs?)
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| Posted 1/4/08 11:59 AM |
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by MsMBV
OK maybe I am way off here, but maybe school is boring her? I know that there are other issues there, but since she is super-interested in doing her hair, make-up, etc, maybe get her into the Cosmetology program at BOCES. That way she will still be able to do what it seems like interests her, and she will need to take some core classes as well. I am honestly surprised her guidance counselor did not already offer this info
Does your school offer ALP? (Alternative Learning Programs?)
i have come to despise her guidance counselor. She is rude and not very helpful....
Theres a thought, though - I'm thinking maybe a BOCES program?
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| Posted 1/4/08 12:24 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by MsMBV
OK maybe I am way off here, but maybe school is boring her? I know that there are other issues there, but since she is super-interested in doing her hair, make-up, etc, maybe get her into the Cosmetology program at BOCES. That way she will still be able to do what it seems like interests her, and she will need to take some core classes as well. I am honestly surprised her guidance counselor did not already offer this info
Does your school offer ALP? (Alternative Learning Programs?)
i have come to despise her guidance counselor. She is rude and not very helpful....
Theres a thought, though - I'm thinking maybe a BOCES program?
Yeah I had a similar situation with my GC in High School. I would definitely contact BOCES. It also helped my sister, who was in a very similar situation in HS. They enrolled her into the Culinary Arts program & she went from failing everything (including Gym) to passing everything with 90's or better.
GL Liza!
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| Posted 1/4/08 12:28 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by MsMBV
OK maybe I am way off here, but maybe school is boring her? I know that there are other issues there, but since she is super-interested in doing her hair, make-up, etc, maybe get her into the Cosmetology program at BOCES. That way she will still be able to do what it seems like interests her, and she will need to take some core classes as well. I am honestly surprised her guidance counselor did not already offer this info
Does your school offer ALP? (Alternative Learning Programs?)
i have come to despise her guidance counselor. She is rude and not very helpful....
Theres a thought, though - I'm thinking maybe a BOCES program?
Crashing... but I can't say enough amazing things about the BOCES cosmotology program. My sister did not do well in school and had no focus but loved doing hair and makeup... she went to BOCES for 2 years during high school and LOVED IT. She's now a cosmotologist at an upscale salon in Sayville making GOBS of money. It was, for her, a saving grace. I think it's definitely something to consider if hair and makeup is something that really intersts her. Good luck!!!
Message edited 1/4/2008 12:30:13 PM.
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| Posted 1/4/08 12:28 PM |
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