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JenBenMen
party of five
Member since 9/06 11343 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by CathyB
 One day she's going to look back and realize how much you care about her.
so true
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Posted 1/4/08 12:37 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Liza, is she in a nassau school or a suffolk one?
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| Posted 1/4/08 12:42 PM |
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BellaRock
I am all the Me I will ever Be
Member since 5/06 9746 total posts
Name:
She who shall remain nameless
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
I got this website from my library. It has information about GED programs. Hope this helps.
Sorry to hear about what you are going through.
GED
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| Posted 1/4/08 12:44 PM |
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thiadora
Happy Little Girl
Member since 5/05 3830 total posts
Name:
Thia (Cynthia)
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Liza, I hate that you are going through this with your step-daughter. It just breaks my heart. I really hope she wakes up and realizes that she needs to turn herselp around.
Posted by lipglossjunky73
her mother buying her outfit after outfit, and she is sitting around doing nothing.
This reminds me of a conversation my mother has retold to me of when my sister was in high school. One day my sister has a "realization" and says to my mother that she doesn't have to do what my mother wants and that there's nothing she (my mother) can do about it. She wasn't being obnoxious or fresh or anything. Her tone was very matter-of-fact-- like it just hit her.
And my mother answered that, while yes, that was true, that if my sister wanted to continue to have my mother buy her things- clothing, CDs, etc, etc, etc... that she would have to do exactly what she said and live by her rules.
And my sister's response was simply, "Oh."
Maybe her mother needs to cut her off if she's not living up to her end of the bargain (i.e. fulfilling her responsibilities at school.)
I know that this is not in any way shape or form the sole answer to this dilema, but is also doesn't seem like her behavior warrants new clothing. kwim.
Message edited 1/4/2008 2:05:36 PM.
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| Posted 1/4/08 2:05 PM |
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by shamrock124
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by smdl
I am going to be blunty honest (you know me!!). While you cannot give up on her (especially her dad!) and want to do everything for her and bring her to therapy, I am worried that it would be a waste of money. She will say "yes, yes" and go back to her magazines. Obviously all the talks/tears have not changed anything.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this!
know what Sophie? I completely agree... BUT - we still have to at least try since we haven't done it yet... I would rather it be under insurance so at least we will be losing a 10 dollar copay rather than 100+ dollars, but if we don't try, then DH feels we are giving up completely...
she is a clam. She won't open up. 
BTW - why are you back to your old avatar????? What happened to your little Ethan picture? 
I don't agree. I think the right therapist will be able to help her work through whatever she is going through.
As far as discplinary actions, you just haven't found something she really cares about to take away yet and that is why the affect has been limited. Another tough spot is that she can play mom and dad against each other so lots of disclpine goes out the window.
Obviously grounding doesn't work so I would stop doing that. Does she have a door to her room, I might take that away and make her earn it back.
Will the school offer any type of support?
At our house she shares a room with her sister, and at her mother's house, well - lets just say the house is so incredibly and disgustingly fitlthy, I doubt a door can even be closed with all the crap in the way... and yes, I agree that nothing is reinforcing enough for her to fear losing it, unfortunately. Remember - I am a bystander more than a directly involved individual for various reasons...
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| Posted 1/4/08 2:11 PM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
I give you so much credit...even with all this going on you are still trying to get info on the GED...you are seriously amazing!
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this.
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| Posted 1/4/08 2:12 PM |
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by thiadora
Liza, I hate that you are going through this with your step-daughter. It just breaks my heart. I really hope she wakes up and realizes that she needs to turn herselp around.
Posted by lipglossjunky73
her mother buying her outfit after outfit, and she is sitting around doing nothing.
This reminds me of a conversation my mother has retold to me of when my sister was in high school. One day my sister has a "realization" and says to my mother that she doesn't have to do what my mother wants and that there's nothing she (my mother) can do about it. She wasn't being obnoxious or fresh or anything. Her tone was very matter-of-fact-- like it just hit her.
And my mother answered that, while yes, that was true, that if my sister wanted to continue to have my mother buy her things- clothing, CDs, etc, etc, etc... that she would have to do exactly what she said and live by her rules.
And my sister's response was simply, "Oh."
Maybe her mother needs to cut her off if she's not living up to her end of the bargain (i.e. fulfilling her responsibilities at school.)
I know that this is not in any way shape or form the sole answer to this dilema, but is also doesn't seem like her behavior warrants new clothing. kwim.
Her mom doesn't do Sh it
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| Posted 1/4/08 2:13 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
I am so sorry it's not getting any better. I can tell, as well as everyone here, that you care so much for her and I hope one day she realizes this as well.
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| Posted 1/4/08 3:18 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
since this situation appears to be reaching a critical stage, would your DH consider going to court to alter the custody agreement?? it sounds like her mother is only contributing to the problem and should be held accountable.
I agree with everyone else who mentioned the BOCES program. I think for some students it is a great match!
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| Posted 1/4/08 3:42 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Theres a thought, though - I'm thinking maybe a BOCES program?
Exactly what I was going to recommend!!!
Liza, I am so sorry about this!
At BOCES she can work on her GED and maybe and "Elective".
Does she like Cosmetology? Maybe Nursing? I know there are other programs offered, just cannot think of them right now..
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| Posted 1/4/08 3:55 PM |
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purplegirl
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Member since 5/06 2423 total posts
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Re: I know you ladies are getting sick of hearing me complain about this, but I am so upset....
She is very lucky to have such a supportive and concerned stepmother
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| Posted 1/4/08 4:30 PM |
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