I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

And I feel bad about it, but I didn't know what else to do.
We're staying out in Montauk in a coop community. There's a playground area that can maybe fit 5 kids, max, it's tiny. Ava was there playing while I was watching, these three little boys who were maybe 6 or 7 came over and were playing. Ava went up to them and introduced herself and asked their names, but they ignored her. I told her to just keep playing and that they were bigger and playing their own games, so she tried to play on something that they were playing on and they yelled at her to go away I was so sad for her, but that's life, ya know? I told her that not everyone will always want to play with her and that she should just keep playing by herself and with me. THEN, these same kids started taking handfuls of rocky sand and throwing it at each other, but right in each other's faces. Now, they weren't specifically aiming at Ava, but they did hit her and I yelled at them and said, "I don't know where your own parents are, but when you're near my kid, there better not be any sand being thrown!" and they proceeded to ignore me, and I said again, "DO NOT throw sand near MY daughter!" I was so livid, maybe because they were mean to Ava or maybe because I'm a teacher and have recess duty and never would allow kids to act that way, but I was so mad. I feel a little bad that I yelled at someone else's kids, but quite honestly, my kid was just going about her business and ended up with sand in her eyes and I don't give a crap who gets mad at me for yelling at them. I just felt badly for Ava, too, because she couldn't understand why someone wouldn't want to play with her and she wasn't buying the "because they're older" routine.
ETA: I know I said I don't care, but I still feel bad for yelling at someone else's kids if that makes sense.

Message edited 8/2/2009 12:23:28 AM.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

It happens. Yesterday I yelled at two older boys who kept playing rough and banging into all the toddlers at a playplace. They called me names. Whatever. I will protect my child.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

It sucks when our kids are rejected, more heartbreaking than anything someone could do to us. I have to say though, with my oldest I was more heartbroken. Although my oldest does play with my 2 yr old, he often rejects her to play with his friends (our neighbors) and she just goes on like its nothing. She loves just to have them in the same yard or room as her.

I still can't stand the thought of my oldest being rejected in kindergarten, but it will happen sometimes and that's definately life. I do not blame you for being angry and yelling. Hopefully this will get easier.

Sand throwing is totally unacceptable.

Message edited 8/2/2009 12:41:17 AM.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

Dont feel bad, I would have done this same thing. This crazy feeling comes over me whenever Kaila is playing and someone is mean to her or hurts her.. its like a become I psycho mom lol

Message edited 8/2/2009 8:12:22 AM.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

It happens...sometimes it really is the right thing to do. I know that if my son was misbehaving and that behavior could harm himself or someone else I would understand and appreciate another parent stepping in. I'm big on the whole "it takes a village...."

Don't be hard on yourself...you did the right thing to stop it.

Message edited 8/2/2009 9:05:13 AM.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

i know you feel bad but i agree with what you did. i don't ever think it's wrong to yell at someone's else's kid if safety is involved - especially for your own kid!

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

I agree with Kelly in the end if they hurt my dd and I allow them to then its my fault. Consider yourself not to have yelled at them but rather protecting your dd. I would have done EXACTLY the same thing.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

I would have done the same!

Where the hell were their parents?!! They are still young to be by themselves.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

If I was in your position, I would have done the same thing, mabe it's the teacher in me also. I had a situation yesterday at the sprinkler park. A kid, much older than all the kids there was running around at high speed and slammed into DD. He couldn't care less and didn't even bother to appologize. Myself and another mom sitting there yelled at the kid. I felt bad but he was doing things that were harming other kids. I think you did the right thing.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

You did absolutely nothing wrong. I have found myself in the same unenviable position many times. It's just the plight of parents who watch their children.

In fact, yesterday I was at a very, for lack of a better word, "fancy" corporate outing. It was at a home and there were loads of kids. I found myself being the unofficial lifeguard, protecting kids who were way younger than mine. My 6 and 11 year olds know to be careful around younger kids and to play certain games away from them, but a lot of kids don't. When we left last night I told my husband that for all the money they spent hiring cooks, waiters and bar tenders, they should have hired a life guard. But then again they had me.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

I would have yelled too.

I've yelled at plenty of kids this summer. I'm not proud of it, but at the beach playground there are always kids that are knocking into DD. Not on purpose, but I still tell them to watch where they are going.

I think you did the right thing.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

If I ever caught wind that my child was less than nice or respectful to another child (or adult for that matter), it would be a VERY long time before they would be going to that playground again.

I would have done the same thing.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

Don't beat yourself up over that. I would have done the same thing. It shows their lack of respect for not even reacting to you when you yelled. I wonder what the parents are like.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

maybe it's the "queens" in me, but you did the right thing!!!! i'm always being the mother lion with my kids. i've yelled at other kids at the park bc the parents aren't watching them and they do things that are not nice or that could be hurtful to my kids. i will not allow that!!!!! if my kids are doing soemthing wrong i am the first to yell at them. I just don't understand parents that are at the park and on their cell and their kids are just running wild with no supervision!!!!

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

I would have done the same thing..Im a teacher too so i think its just natural to correct other peoples children...especially when your baby could get hurt!!!!

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

I would of done the same thing. And not feel a bit guilty about it.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

i would have done the same thing!! you absolutely did the right thing. and where was the mother(s) of those kids??

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

Those kids deserved to be yelled at. Do not feel bad at all.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

I remember a few years ago before I even knew DH, my teacher friend and I, also a teacher, were on the beach. We see two younger teens find a turtle in the shallow water by the rocks and take it to their blanket. We told them sternly "Put that turtle back. It's not for you to play with." We went into the water and when we came out, we were talking about the turtle saying "If we pass them and they still have that turtle blah blah blah..." We didn't know our voices had been carried by the wind, and when we got to their blanket, they were both resting. One of them picked up his head before we could even say anything and said in his snotty teenage way "we put it back..."

Anyway, the moral of the story is sometimes as adults we HAVE to tell/yell/scold the youth to keep some kind of order.

Don't feel badly about scolding them. They should not have been throwing sand and your daugfhter could have been hurt!

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

You girls made me feel so much better. Ava made friends with some nice little girls today, so that made me feel better. I can't believe that it took me three years till I yelled at someone else's kids But thank you for making me feel better and sorry it made no sense. I wrote it in the dark when I was half asleep

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

I never feel bad about putting a kid in his/her place when my son is concerned.

Re: I yelled at someone else's kids today and I don't care.

I'm also a teacher, but a HS teacher. I would've told them off much sooner personally! Even if their parents were right there! I think you handled yourself perfectly. Poor Ava, it's heartbreaking to see your child hurt. Good for you for standing up for your daughter.