IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

i mean-if you stayed home for some time with your DC and then had to go back to work to be a working mom which did you like better? i know that is a silly question. i am home for this year until next sept. i LOVE DD and staying home with her but i can't help feeling like something is missing....maybe this is b/c i did love my job and it is literally around the corner with great hours. i feel horrible for missing work when i am so lucky to be home with my baby. next year i will probably be kicking myself for saying this! is there anyone who actually prefers being a working mom to being a SAHM based on your OWN experiece? did anyone feel lonely or even slightly bored when they were just at home? please tell me i am not abonormal! TIA

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

i was with my daughter until she was almost two.
in a way, i was very lucky to be there for her but i won't lie, it was a hard time for me and once i went back to work, i felt that i was sane again.

now i work part time, go to college full time but i think i got the best of both worlds.

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

You have a great job with great hours and a great schedule.
I will be honest. I went back to work PT just so I can get out for a bit. I feel so bad for saying this, but, I feel like I needed some sort of break. Over the summer I actually worked 2PT jobs..One M-F a few hours and the other, I make my own schedule.
Is there a "deadline" you have to decide by?
Staying home is awesome, but, honestly I am sad on the days where we have Nothing to do. I go crazy. LOL.
Come Feb/March I will be watching my cousins baby and I will have DS too, so, I will be on my toes then.
Im sure you will make the right decision.

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

thanks for the responses!! and yes i do have a deadline of April 1st which luckily isn't tomorrow! but i will angst over it of course until the letter is sent! thanks again!

Message edited 11/20/2007 6:38:11 PM.

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

I worked FT as a high school teacher until DD #1 was 20 months and DD#2 was born in May. I have been a SAHM for...hmmm...actually today is 7 months. I did it because we had family watching DD and did not feel it was fair to ask them to watch 2 for free. Also, DH is almost militantly anti-daycare for infants (I'm not ) and even still, as a Catholic school teacher, it's not really cost-effective.

I miss my old life a lot. I am not good at cleaning; I don't really cook; I am pretty shy; I am totally unorganized. So, being a SAHM is not necessarily "me." I feel the true "me" is teaching. I do get lonely and bored from time to time--mostly I go out of my mind. Oh yeah, DH works a lot too...

BUT, all that said, I consider myself truly fortunate and blessed to be able to stay home. It's a time that goes so quickly and I'm sure I will look back very fondly when I return to work. I have learned all new aspects to my personality--I really like fingerpainting and dancing to Elmo songs! Not that I couldn't do that when I worked, but I didn't really feel like it after a long day, KWIM?

I think the bottom line is that I did prefer working--It's easy compared to this gig --but am totally at peace with this phase of my life.

Message edited 11/20/2007 7:12:57 PM.

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

I really do enjoy my job, and we have a great routine with the babysitter going here... but I loved the five months that I got to spend home with the baby before I went back to work. I never thought I would wish that I could be home!

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

I always thought that being a SAHM would be ideal. I have found that being home with a child is FAR more difficult than even a very stressful day at work outside the home. I love being with my son, but I often find it frustrating to keep him happy and occupied 24/7, and have no time for myself, or to use my professional skills. Sometimes I just really need a break, and ideally I would like to work part-time (even though I feel guilty for saying it).

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

again, thanks for these responses! i so appreciate them and any others anyone wants to add! at least i know i am not crazy for kind of wanting to go back but hesitating at the same time.

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

Don't feel guilty for wanting to work. I am a SAHM for my kids, not for me. I absolutely miss the working world and feeling like I have a personal purpose. Yes, I know that my kids are my purpose and I cherish the fact that I've been able to be home with them, but in all honestly, it is not the real "me".

I do work from home for my old job 20 hours a week. But it really is not as ideal as it seems. I have all the same responsilibilites of a SAHM, with the added stress of trying to squeeze in work everyday.

I am in the process of starting my own retail business and cooking school with my girlfriend and I feel alive again. I have something that is all mine and allows me to escape the mom world for some time each day. Once the business launches my kids will go to daycare p/t for a couple hours each day. It is my dream. I will have my time and kids time.

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

I love being a working mom.

I have some time to really use my brain and all those years of education I paid for. My job is challenging and rewarding.

I work 7-3, so I have lots of time in the afternoon/evening with DS. And I feel like I can really focus on him during those hours because I'm not stressed out from being with him all day and trying to figure out what to do next.

For me, it's truly the best of both worlds. I've always been one of those people who does better the more they have to do.

I mean, there are definitely days when I wish I could stay and play with him all day, but overall I feel I have a great balance.

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

I went back to work full-time when DS was 9 weeks old and was miserable. It didn't help that I was commuting 1 1/2 hours each way. I left my full-time job when DS was 8 months old (he's now 15 mos). I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being home with him but MISS my paycheck!! I do teach dance 10 hours/week, 3 nights/week which gives me the adult interaction that some SAHM's say they miss.

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

I have worked in the past but now I'm a sahm. I love the opportunity to be home with my children but I have to say I also liked working. I will not be going back to work for at least another 3yrs but I have to admit I'm looking forward to it, I think it's because I too love my job, have great hrs (9-3), and I liked the adult time (you know chatting with the ladies).

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

I was off for a year with my son and it was fantastic, however there is something fantastic about dropping him off in the morning at nursery (which he loves) and going to do some work with grownups and use my brain and stuff.

I could happily stay at home with my kids, and I plan to do so with my next. I have a big group of Mommy friends and where I live there are playgroups and kids activities everyday of the week, so I could happily stay busy.

I am off on a Monday and my Mondays are always the highlight of my week, we go to playgroup at about 9.30 (we have 2 to choose from) and then we go out to coffee with the girls, after that we go home for lunch and a nap, and then in the afternoon we have a playdate at someones house or at our local indoor playground. Its fantastic, and every night I say to my husband...I had the lovelist day.

However...I also enjoy getting out of the house without the kid and going to work...

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

Message edited 11/21/2007 7:17:09 AM.

Re: IF you have been both a SAHM and a working mom please tell me about your experience

Well I work PT from home and am a SAHM...once in a blue moon i miss the work social interaction but i do not miss my job at all, lol!

I get out a lot these days..meet my other mom friends so our kids can play and we catch up over coffee or shopping.

For ME, I wouldn't have it any other way. I will never regret this time and have loved being with him since birth...I did contemplate going back to work for the little extra money, but finding a work at home job was great. I get the best of both worlds. To be with my son and a paycheck

If I am lucky enough in the future, I will stay home with all my children (all possible 3 of them, lol). It has been amazing.