If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

Let's you live on LI and the shower is in either SC or AZ. (Your response can be different for each location) Let's further assume that you either don't have children or have a husband who could watch them and you can afford to fly there for the shower.

Would you at least make an effort to attend, or would the distance be too much for you to even consider it?

I'm just curious to see what people think is reasonable regarding traveling to attend someone's bridal shower. I'm not looking for any answer in particular - just a survey of what people think who aren't in the midst of wedding.

Personally, I would never miss my FSIL's shower, especially if I were in the wedding, but others have said it would be unnecessary if the FSIL lived that far away... Thoughts?

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I had this exact situation when my brother got married. I was a BM and they live in Florida. I flew in for the weekend for the shower. She means a lot to me, she is like my own sister, so it was important to me. But it can also be very expensive so I would say it is based on your budget and your relationship with your FSIL.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I wouldn't go, but that's just me. I would send a very generous registry gift.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I would go-although my SIL didn't go to mine and it was in Fire Island

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I would try to make an attempt and price things out. I generally do not travel well so I may not go.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I LOVE my SIL and I was her MOH. If they lived OOT your dam straight I'd be on a flight out there to help celebrate.
I also think if I didn't attend, my brother would be a bit upset as well.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I didn't go to my SIL's bridal shower, but I wasn't in the wedding.

The fact that we aren't "close", she was very late to my shower, I live about 8 hours away, and I had just moved into my house that week made my decision not to attend easy.

I sent a nice gift.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

i think it would depend on how close you were to your FSIL. if they've always lived far away and you've only met her once and you're only in the shower because your family, then no i wouldnt go and i would just send a nice gift.

but if i were very close to her and could afford it then yea i would go! even if its just overnight it shows your support and welcoming into the family.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I would really try to make arrangements to be there regardless of location or inconvenience.

Message edited 6/26/2009 11:36:09 AM.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

If I had the ability to go, could afford to go, and had the time off from work, I'd go.

The opposite situation occurred for me. My SIL was not able to attend my shower. She lives in FL and my shower was up here. She had just started a new job and was taking a lot of time off to come up for the wedding. She wasn't able to come up 2x, and I totally 100% understood.

Just because she couldn't be at my shower didn't mean that she didn't want to be there for me or be a part of wedding.

She sent a very generous gift and gave me her well wishes. It has never been, and never will be, an issue for me that she couldn't attend my shower.

Everyone's situation is different, and I'm just glad she was able to be there for us on our wedding day.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I would go if I could afford it. I'd make a long weekend out of it and do some stuff while I was there. Maybe a spa?

If money was tight or timing wasn't right, I wouldn't go and I'd send a nice gift.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

we just had the same situation this weekend

and me and my sister did NOT go

we actually flew down to FL (where my brother and her live) and threw her a shower down there- which my Grandma and her FL friends also came too - a few weeks ago

it just made sense for us- she is from a small town in PA- that didn't even have a hotel to accomadate us

Message edited 5/29/2007 11:44:08 AM.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

Yes I would.....I would make every effort

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

for my sil, i was young and the only driving in my family so my sisters and mother decided not to go. instead we threw her a shower on long island for all the local relatives on the grooms side of the family. it was in syracuse.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I would try and go.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

Yes, I would go because it would mean a lot to my brother.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I would go

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I would try. I'd probably be more likely to go to SC b/c it is closer.

If I wasn't a BM, I might not go, but if they made the effor tot include me in the wedding, I'd make the effort to go, if I could afford it, and didn't have a conflict with work travel.

My MOH came to my shower on LI from San Diego & I totally didn't expect her to, but I was so happy that she did.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I would. I had a few people fly in for my shower. And 1 of them has a much more hectic life than me. If she can do it, I should be able to as well.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I would go regardless if I am in the wedding or where/how far the shower is.

DH and I are both very family oriented. Additionally, we are firm believers of what comes around goes around.

It is very important to us to attend family events, and only miss them under extreme circumstances.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I would do my best to attend the shower. I am always looking for an excuse to travel!

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I would go. Showers are important.

Re: If you were a bridesmaid in your brother's wedding, would you attend your FSIL's OOT shower?

I would go. I feel it would be my duty as a bridesmaid