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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
would you accept it?
I am not in this situation but just wondering..
i am so on the fence about this b/c i like working hard and seeing the fruits of my labor.i feel like owning your own home is a true accomplishment..
yet on the flip side, hey wouldnt life be easier?
what is your take?
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Posted 9/9/08 3:48 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
im very independant and i cant hlep but thinking that if they paid for part of my house, they would maybe have thet attitude that they would expect me to consult them and take their opinions more seriously..or maybe not..i could be totally wrong..but i dont thgink id want that hanging over my head...
now, if they wanted to pay for some furniture or something, that i would accept
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| Posted 9/9/08 3:51 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
nope
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| Posted 9/9/08 3:54 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
I would think it would depend on what strings came attached to it. My ILs aren't the type to give a gift with strings attached but I know plenty of friend's parents that do...along the lines of we can live with you when we get older, we'd like you to live in our area, etc.
I'm not crazy about the idea but if it would better our living conditions, yes.
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| Posted 9/9/08 3:57 PM |
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SnickNNick
In our new house!!
Member since 8/08 2119 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
Something sort of like this is coming up for us. My grandfather passed away in April 2007, and my parents and my aunt and uncle just (finally!) completed the sale of his house. Basically the money from his house/estate (not much besides the house since he was under 24-hour care for a while before the end, spent most of what he had) was split between my dad and his brother. Obviously it's a relatively significant amount. My brother and I are both going to be in a position to be looking for our first houses in the next year or so. My parents have decided that they will offer to match whatever we (DH and I, and my brother on his own) save for our down payments with money from the sale of my Grandpa's house, because they feel that it's what he would have wanted.
I know some people may say that taking the money is making it easier, but I view it as an extremely generous gift. Obviously they don't have to give us anything at all, especially considering they just paid for basically an entire wedding for DH and I, but I think they really feel that my grandfather would have wanted it that way. By matching what we save, I think it still motivates us to save as much as we can, and I simply feel grateful. It may sound stupid but thinking about the fact that my grandfather didn't live to see my wedding makes me cry just thinking about it, so thinking that he in some way will have a part in helping us get our first real home is really special.
Sorry, I know that was really long, but I just wanted to get it all out!
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| Posted 9/9/08 3:58 PM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
yeah, that would be the big issue holding me back is that fact that parents or in laws would stick their 2 cents in.. or tell us what to do or if we are doing something wrong..
i wouldnt want that hanging over my head either..
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| Posted 9/9/08 3:58 PM |
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Jessica
I'm a mommy :)
Member since 1/06 7322 total posts
Name:
~Jess~
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
Posted by MrsPorkChop
im very independant and i cant hlep but thinking that if they paid for part of my house, they would maybe have thet attitude that they would expect me to consult them and take their opinions more seriously..or maybe not..i could be totally wrong..but i dont thgink id want that hanging over my head...
now, if they wanted to pay for some furniture or something, that i would accept
ditto
also, I would just feel guilty taking money knowing that they could spend it on themselves by investing, getting a new car, their own home updates, etc...
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| Posted 9/9/08 3:58 PM |
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MrsB-07
proud RELAXIVIST
Member since 11/07 2027 total posts
Name:
b
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
I wouldn't want to because I always feel that there would be strings attached. Or if, god forbid, the family had a huge falling out what if those family members demanded full payment back or reimbursement or for you to move?? I feel like it would always be THEIR house, you know?
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| Posted 9/9/08 3:59 PM |
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Shorty
.
Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
depends - if my parents won the lotto or something and were offering a mil for a house, sure, why not! what's one measly million?! 
But otherwise, no.
If I still wanted my parents to pay for everything for me, I'd be living in my childhood bedroom.
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:00 PM |
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Jessica
I'm a mommy :)
Member since 1/06 7322 total posts
Name:
~Jess~
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
Posted by SnickNNick
Something sort of like this is coming up for us. My grandfather passed away in April 2007, and my parents and my aunt and uncle just (finally!) completed the sale of his house. Basically the money from his house/estate (not much besides the house since he was under 24-hour care for a while before the end, spent most of what he had) was split between my dad and his brother. Obviously it's a relatively significant amount. My brother and I are both going to be in a position to be looking for our first houses in the next year or so. My parents have decided that they will offer to match whatever we (DH and I, and my brother on his own) save for our down payments with money from the sale of my Grandpa's house, because they feel that it's what he would have wanted.
I know some people may say that taking the money is making it easier, but I view it as an extremely generous gift. Obviously they don't have to give us anything at all, especially considering they just paid for basically an entire wedding for DH and I, but I think they really feel that my grandfather would have wanted it that way. By matching what we save, I think it still motivates us to save as much as we can, and I simply feel grateful. It may sound stupid but thinking about the fact that my grandfather didn't live to see my wedding makes me cry just thinking about it, so thinking that he in some way will have a part in helping us get our first real home is really special.
Sorry, I know that was really long, but I just wanted to get it all out!
in this case, I would accept the money also
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:00 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
I would. But I know it wouldn't come with any strings attached. My family is very close and we just want to help each other out.
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:06 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
In a heartbeat. In fact, we already did. My MIL gave us our downpayment for our first house, and helped us purchase our investment house.
Her theory is that she would prefer to give us money now to see us comfortable and happy while she's still alive, and we're still young, rather than as an inheritance.
No strings attached, so it wasn't an issue. And I hope to do the same for my children one day as well.
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:07 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
Well I am the opposite of everyone because my parents did pay for the downpayment on our house. This was money they saved up for me my entire life and it did NOT affect them in any way whatsoever. They also did the same for my sister and she used her for a part of her downpayment.
I also was given money from a grandfather that had died. My parents split it between them and my sister and I (they got the biggest chunk).
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:07 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
Posted by Bxgell2
In a heartbeat. In fact, we already did. My MIL gave us our downpayment for our first house, and helped us purchase our investment house.
Her theory is that she would prefer to give us money now to see us comfortable and happy while she's still alive, and we're still young, rather than as an inheritance.
No strings attached, so it wasn't an issue. And I hope to do the same for my children one day as well.
My mom has said that also that she would rather see us enjoy the money now than when she is gone.
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:08 PM |
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Chrisnamy
Summer is coming soon
Member since 1/07 3991 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
No, We wouldn't.
We have worked for everything we owned....We even paid for our own wedding!
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:14 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
I would take it from my Dad- it would have no strings attached
my in-laws have offered us money for a dp- I have never seen it - and don't plan on getting it ever
but if my Dad offered (he has offered to add me to one of his accounts so I look like I have a ton of cash in the bank) I would gladly take his money
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:17 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
Posted by Shelly
I would. But I know it wouldn't come with any strings attached. My family is very close and we just want to help each other out.
Same
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:18 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
If it was an inheritance or 'found' money so to speak, then I would accept the gift. -
But my parents put me through college and helped pay for a $$$$ Wedding. - I couldn't take more from THEIR hard earned money when I'm perfectly capable of working for my OWN money -
Giving my sister or I additional $$$ wouldn't hurt them at all, but that's not the point. -
But this is coming from a person who fights w/ her mother over paying for a mani/pedi -
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:19 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
Posted by CoopersMom01
Posted by Shelly
I would. But I know it wouldn't come with any strings attached. My family is very close and we just want to help each other out.
Same
Ditto!
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:20 PM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
I wouldn't take it. I have a friend who's parents gave them their DP -
and her mom has said to me (when talking about their house)
"Well I gave them $$, so I have a say on what goes on".
That right there is the reason why I wouldn't do it!
eta: unless my mom/IL's hit lotto and everyone got some $$; that would be ok!
Message edited 9/9/2008 4:35:34 PM.
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:22 PM |
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Cpt2007
A new love!
Member since 1/08 5946 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
Nope. The tax implications for them and for us would not be worth it, so therefore it would never even be offered.
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:24 PM |
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PegaLega
Lets Get This!!!!!
Member since 1/07 1110 total posts
Name:
Peggie
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
I think it would depend on the strings that came attached like someone else said. My ILs are really wonderful people so the only string would be when they came to visit we let them stay with us, which isnt that big of a deal since they are great to be around.
I would also hope tho that we are able to put some of the money WE have saved in too, I dont think I would want the whole thing to be from them.
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:25 PM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
If there is no strings attached I would!
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:25 PM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
we are sort of in this position. ILs had to move last year because FIL's job got transferred.
instead of putting their house on the market, we bought it from them... they didn't force us into it, DH and i really thought about whether it was the house we wanted to live in. they sold it to us at about $50-75K less than they would have sold it to somebody else. DH is an only child, and FIL has a lot of $$$ in the bank so there were no strings attached.
while its not the same as them just handing us money for a downpayment, it really helped us to be able to afford a bigger house in a better neighborhood AND have a lower mortgage payment which gives us a more comfortable lifestyle. ILs say the same thing that others said: they want to see us living comfortably and happy now, rather than leaving us a ton of cash when they die...
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:28 PM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: if your parents or in laws offered to buy you a house/give you down payment money...
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
would you accept it?
I am not in this situation but just wondering..
i am so on the fence about this b/c i like working hard and seeing the fruits of my labor.i feel like owning your own home is a true accomplishment..
yet on the flip side, hey wouldnt life be easier?
what is your take?
I'd take it as long as the house is in my name and not theirs (or not joint).
There was a poster on here who had a story about being upside down on a house that was financed and owned by her parents. It was a total mess.
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| Posted 9/9/08 4:29 PM |
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