I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

He will be 13 months old tomorrow, and we have yet to consistently sleep through the night.

He wakes up several times - he wants his bottle, and he really does drink the whole thing.

The kid eats like a horse. We give him all that he wants to eat for dinner, and snacks before bed.

Last night, Cailen woke up at around midnight for his bottle. DH got up to give him a bottle. Cailen then shortly woke up after. we decided to let him cry, because sometimes it works.

He cried from 1-3AM until we gave in!!! He drank a bottle, and went back down.

And, ontop of that, Cailen wakes up at 4:30AM every morning. Once in a while he sleeps late - until 5:00/5:30. Sometimes,when the moons and suns and stars are all lined up, he will sleep the day away until 6:30 or 7. Those are the mornings I lay in bed wondering if he is still breathing and should I check on him...

Every night he wakes up at least once, but usually twice. He drinks the bottle (now its just milk) and goes right back down. Its easier than letting him cry for hours, which does not work. We tried last night because by 1AM, it was already the 2nd time he woke up (normally he wakes up at 11 or 12, and then sleeps until 2 or 3 before he wakes up...)

He goes down very easily - he wants to go to sleep. I don't know if now its teething related - those damn teeth still haven't cut - he only has two bottom teeth, but even when he's not teething its like this, so I don't know what to do.

Those baby sleep books don't apply - he will go down and sleep, its just staying asleep and putting himself back down to sleep is a problem. DH wakes up at 4AM usually, so having him cry all night won't work, and having him sleep late in the morning won't hapoen because he hears DH getting ready. On the weekends - even when DH isn't awake, he has gotten used to waking up early.

The weird thing is this - when I was pregnant, Cailen was always up early in the morning. I would feel him tumble around as DH was getting up for work and getting ready. I remember hoping that he wouldn't wake up so early when he was out of my belly... oh well...

Cailen was always a crappy sleeper, but there was a time when we were seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and I vaguely remember sleeping through the night when he was about 6 mts old, but then teething began, and he was sick during the holidays, and after that, it was back to waking up like this....

Message edited 5/3/2008 6:41:07 AM.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

My dd at 20 months still doesn't sleep through the night. Sometimes she can get herself back to sleep and sometimes not. She has also cried for a couple of hours and it was just because she was awake.

Cailen probably doesn't need a bottle in the middle of the night. He is probably waking from habit more so then hunger. At his age, he should be able to go 8-10 hours without eating. I would talk to his ped. to make sure you are all in agreement.

I would take away his nighttime bottles and try other methods to get him to go back to sleep like rubbing his back or rocking him. It shouldn't take more then a week. Then I would work on getting him to settle himself in the middle of the night.

I think it's very common that babies and toddlers don't sleep through the night. Most moms I know irl don't have children that consistently sleep through the night. You do have to break him of the night bottles because that is just making it worse.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

Message edited 5/3/2008 6:52:31 AM.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

Alex was doing the same thing, up until she was about 15 months old. It was maddening - simply maddening. In our case, she simply didn't know how to put herself back to sleep when she woke up in the middle of the night. I'd try all these props and tricks, and she kept growing more and more resistant to everything I tried. Finally I talked to my ped about it, who said it was time to just ignore her

So, I put an old t-shirt of mine in her crib, so at least she had something with my scent on it. I also started giving her a stuffed animal, so she would have something she's attached to, in the crib with her. And that was that - I started ignoring her when she woke up.

The first few days were HORRIBLE. but, within about a week she was sleeping 12 hours straight a night. So, now when she wakes up anytime before 6am, I KNOW something is wrong, and that's when I go to her.

Hang in there

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

I'll try these things ladies - he never liked his mobile, isn't attached to anything (I could give him a package of wipes to cuddle with - THAT he loves... or the caps to his bottles to play with... Why can't my kid have a normal lovey like everyone else????)

He just wants OUT. He never liked to be restrained or imprisoned... This kid isd going to really be a pip, but right now, mommy wants her sleep!!!

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

I didn't read the other responses, so sorry if I am repeating. First I think you should break the bottle in the middle of the night habit. He shouldn't need it anymore and is probably doing it out of habit. that will be tough to break, but you need sleep!! The first days suck, and then it will get better.
My DD had a tough time sleeping through the night when we moved (she was 19 months old). I did a few things that worked.

- I instituted a lovey. She had no attachment to anything before. I started giving her a stuffed monkey when we read our bedtime books, and then I'd put it in the crib with her. I didn't think she'd take to it, but she did. Its only a bedtime lovey b/c I don't want her carting that thign all over the place, but it worked after about a week- she asked for monkey when she went to sleep.

-I started sleeping on the floor of her room. First she would scream and scream, about an hour and half the first night, and then 40 min the next, but by the third night it was about 10 minutes. Now if she wakes up in the middle of night, I just make the motion lke I'm going to go on the floor and she gets right back down.
The idea of this is to sneak closer to the door each night , so eventually you're -shh shhing him from just outside his door. This was the biggest thing that worked. It took her a good two months to get used to sleeping in our new house.

good luck!!

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

I agree with the pp, he doesn't need a bottle during the night, now it is a habit that he gets up for the bottle. What if you put a water bottle in his crib. Maybe if he wakes up and sees it he won't cry for you?

I really have no good advice because my DD is 2 1/2 and rarely sleeps thru the night in her bed. She comes in my room in the middle of the night to sleep with us She is a snuggler, she will sleep right up against me or DH.

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

Its totally a habit now to wake up to eat. He doesnt need to eat.

Noah wakes a lot in the middle of the night too and its purely habit and its been really hard attempting to break it.

one book recommends the Pick up , put down method...where when they are standing, you wait till they cry ( in crib), pick them up..the second they stop crying lay them down.

It does work, but its exhausting for a spirited child. I once did it with Noah for over an hour...must have laid him back down ehile he prtested like bloody hell 150 times.

But he did get tired enough to fall asleep soon after.

Really your situation is a lot like mine.

To fix it takes a lot of work and effort and more sleepless nights. It hink its just a matter of deciding which is easiest for you.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

Does he get cold at night? EJ will wake up and not sleep well if he gets cold.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

DD is only 5 1/2 months but I've read some of the other responses. She wakes a lot and I'm convinced it's because she's BF'd but really I think it's cause she's in the room with us. Thankfully, she loves her bunny blanket and since I started giving her that she snuggles with it and it really does comfort her. Last night I did the pick up/put down method (never knew about it until I just read one of the responses.) and it worked. I actually thought as I did it, "I shouldn't be picking her up." But it worked! Sorry Liza, I really don't have any advice Some of us are blessed with good sleepers and some of us aren't.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

We have the same problem and I was getting up to give the bottles of milk, but honestly, it isn't like formula, they don't need it like they needed the formula. It is PURE habit!

So, we just (like, this week) set some rules here: If he wakes up for a bottle while I am still awake (before 11pm) I will give it to him, but after that, he is cut off.

And honestly, Thursday night, he YELLED for an hour straight and then last night, he didn't wake up at all. They need to learn to put themselves back to sleep.

This is why my ped told me to deal with this at 5 months He said it would keep getting harder.

Oh and for us, we have to stay out of the room, he will get HYSTERICAL if we come in the room.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

Honestly, at the point you're at I would invest in some ear plugs and just let him cry. It may take a week or so, but he'll realize you're not coming to get him. He is playing you guys...he is safe in his crib and isn't going anywhere...stop feeding him and let him cry it out....for hours if that's what it takes. I know it seems harsh, but nothing else is working for you.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

Does he not get enough sleep during the day? Sometimes when they're overtired, they have a hard time getting to sleep (which sounds ridiculous, of course).
Can you put water in the nighttime bottles so there's little satisfaction for him.
I would also try rocking him. There were a few nights when Lily woke up screaming ( I realized it was becasue I took her blanket away) and I would hold her really close and tight and sit in the glider with her, making the "Shhhhhh"ing sound and trying to soothe her. It took probably about 15 minutes for her to calm down and fall asleep, but it worked.
Good luck!

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

I am going to agree with the other posters and say to try and cut out the bottle. I do believe it's habit and not hunger.
We have this for Bryan:

and it seems to relax him. It plays on the ceiling (a little "show) and you can set the timer for as long as you want it to play.
Maybe something like this will help.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

I agree with some of the other posters....he doesnt know how to put himself back to sleep. He probably relies on the bottle to do it b/c he associats the bottle with sleep.


I'm sorry your still going through this

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

So, I put an old t-shirt of mine in her crib, so at least she had something with my scent on it. I also started giving her a stuffed animal, so she would have something she's attached to, in the crib with her. And that was that - I started ignoring her when she woke up.

The first few days were HORRIBLE. but, within about a week she was sleeping 12 hours straight a night. So, now when she wakes up anytime before 6am, I KNOW something is wrong, and that's when I go to her.

Hang in there


Its really hard to listen to your DC cry (and scream, yell) but it DOES work. Commit your self to a few nights and see if it gets better with each night. Every child is different, I couldn't not go in at all so i'd go in lay him down (he was usually up again before I made it out of the room) i'd say night night and leave the room. For some kids its better if you don't go in at all. I'd try to wait longer each time after 3 nights it was over. He was sleeping through the night. Still an early riser, but no more middle of the night waking except for teeth or sickness. You and DH will be verrrrry sleep deprived for a week but the pay off is when it works you wont have to get up in the middle of the night anymore. If you and DH make a plan before DS wakes and help each other stick with it it will work. Good Luck with whatever you decide to do.....

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

I'm reading toddler taming (fantastic book recommend it highly) and they say that at 13 months old your child isn't having his milk due to hunger. He is having his milk simply because you are giving it to him. This is like an incentive to get up for him, he stirs, he decides he needs a drink, he makes a noise, you bring it to him, HE WINS!!!

Its time to get your husbands buy in and let the kid cry. Let him get hysterical, it won't kill him. Its hard to listen to, but he won't suffer any long term damages from crying for a few hours. Once he realises that you aren't coming everytime he stirs and makes a peep, he will turn over and go back to sleep. Its not going to be easy, but you guys HAVE to do it. For YOUR sake, for the sake of your relationship, for the sake of your job, for the sake of your child.

Buy the book Toddler Taming, its soooooooooo good.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

liza

we had the same issues with hannah until i read the ferber book. you can borrow it.

its a habit. he doesnt need his bottle in the middle of the night anymore. have you tried replacing it with water?

the best gift that i gave hannah was to teach her how to soothe herself back to sleep. she is a much happier kid when she sleeps through the night.

you know that you need to be consistent and stick to your plan in order to make it work. and more than anyone you know how it can get worse before it gets better.

its hard to do, but try to look at whats happening analytically. use what you know. its just going to take time, patience and support from your dh.




eric and i have had our fair share of sleepless nights. we followed ferbers method and a bit of eric's ingenuity and it worked. we did it at 11 months and she has been the best sleeper since.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

i wish i could give you advice but josh is almost 1 and goes to bed late (10-10:30pm) and i still nurse him in the early morning and then he goes back to sleep hor a couple of hours. i feel your pain b/c i haven't gotten more than 4-5 hours straight in 1+ years (i also had insomnia while pg.) i thought these sleepless nights would be over a long time ago.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

he's not hungry...At that age, Josh was still waking and going on the boob twice a night for 30 minutes each time.

LC told me his belly is big enough to make it through the night, he is just waking out of habit for something that he enjoys.

If you knew your favorite food was sitting there waiting for you in the middle of the night, you would get up and snack too.

I night weaned him. I was strict. no milk from 10-6 AM. I will sing, rub, hug, but no milk. Right before he goes to bed, I give him yogurt or a banana.

I got my a$$ kicked the first 2 nights for 40 minutes. but I just kept singing and hugging, eventually he went to sleep.

Then, a week later, no hugging...

Up until last week, Josh was still waking at 4 AM to yell at me. Then I started sending Leo in there...who he doesn't want at all....

we are on night 4 of him sleeping through...Leo wasn't worth him waking up.

Take away the fun things and he has no reason to wake up.

Mine could never CIO....we ended up with a broken crib one night and him jumping out of it the next night at 12 months old. Wean him now before he can escape!

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

Do you think that he might be too full and gets gas pains or a belly ache during the night? I know we've had nights recently with the onslaught of new foods where Christopher wakes up because he has gas again.

Re: I'm beginning to think that he will never sleep thru the night

I am actually trying to put my DD to bed now so I didn't read all the posts - so I am sorry if I am repeating something.....

My DD is a little over 2.5 and is STILL not sleeping through the night on a consistant basis.

We have done EVERYTHING to get her to fall asleep and stay asleep. I've tried CIO, sleeping with something of mine, bottles, pacis, white noise, music, night lights, humidifiers, I even changed the furniture around hoping for better feng shui!!!

The only thing that has helped a little is age..and change in her naps.

Now that she isnt napping she is sleeping better at night (but she still gets up once a night around 3-5 nights a week).

Your son is 1 right? Is he still napping twice a day? If so I suggest trying to cut him down to once a day and putting him to bed a little earlier (or the same time if he is going to bed around 7). I find that changing her naps was not something my DD did naturally...I have always had to change her sleeping patterns for her. It will be a rough few days (during the day) but hopefully the nights will be better.