I'm so sad

I'm a regular poster but I'm posting under a different name because i have lots of family who lurks.

I'm about 2 weeks pp and I'm just so sad all the time. I love my DS to death, but I have no motiviation. I have no appetite and all I want to do is sleep. I find myself wishing for my old life back. Everyone says how great motherhood is and right now I don't feel it. My poor DH is depressed too because I am. He thought we'd be able to have some fun. We put the tree up a week ago and I have not had the energy or desire to even decorate it. I haven't done any xmas shopping and everyone keeps asking me what i want, and there's nothing I want. We've ordered in every night because I don't want to cook and I don't even eat anything. It doesn't help that we have no family close by and all our friends have young children so they can't even come around because the babies can't be near each other.

My Dh had to go into work today so it's my first day home alone. I'm trying to motivate myself to do something. I have no idea what do with a 2 week old baby. I feel awful that I put him in his bouncy all day and I feel even more awful that I have these feelings.

Will these feelings ever go away? How do I know if its just baby blues or post partum depression?

Re: I'm so sad

im not a mom but just wanted to give u some hugs, i hear that these feelings are very common..dont be sao down on urself, give it time, take each day one moment at a time..this is really big life adjustment and on top of that ur right what CAN u do with sucha tiny baby..as long as he is fed, and dry and BREATHING at the end of the day ur doing well..its all new--give urself some credit, u love ur baby, ur baby loves u and somehow it will all work out... maybe see a counselor or dr to get more opinions or medicine to help with ur feelings and hormones

feel better sweety

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as someone who was very open with post partum depression, i just wanted to send out some hugs. it is very common to get the blues, but if they last longer than 2 weeks, you should talk to your doctor.

i know how it feels. it absolutely broke my heart the way i felt after i hade hannah. my poor dh also was going thru a hard time. thankgoodness, we had alot of support. i encourage you to seek out help as much as possible. you might want to hire some help if necessary. etd to add that i had my friends come by right away even if they had kids. they just didnt bring them over.

we are all here for you it sounds cliched but it will get better.

Message edited 12/11/2006 11:30:45 AM.

Re: I'm so sad

Sounds like post partum depression to me. Call your OBGYN and make an appt as soon as you can to discuss how you feel.

As far as what to do with a 2 week old....there isn't a whole lot you can do at that age. PLay music, read to him, if you have a playgym put him in it.....basically these first few weeks are very mundane....eat, diaper, sleep, eat, diaper, sleep....repeat over and over.

Hope your doctor can give you some guidence. Try to get out and do something for yourself...get your hair done, your nails done, go to dinner with a friend, shop...try to do something that makes you happy. A happy mommy means a happy baby

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I always found it helpful in the beginning to take the babies out... today's a beautiful day - maybe go for a walk? Getting fresh air is great for your mental state!

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from someone who was the same way....the feelings do go away.

I cried at nothing. DH would come home, give me a hug and I'd start crying. Why....just because. The raging hormones, the adjustment to being responsible for another human, caring for a baby with no help....it's all so overwhelming.

I had moments (and my PP depression lasted a few months) where I called my parents CRYING about how I didn't want her, I couldn't do this, I wanted my old life back. If I messed up dinner, I cried in a ball on the floor. I spilled food or drink.....Cried.

The frustration of a baby that woke every 2 1/2 hours to eat and the sleep deprivation was the WORST. We are both sleepers, so it was killing me. I had moments where I wished I had never had my baby.

But it does go away. Talk to your Dr. Bundle the baby up and go for a 10 min walk outside. The sunshine will make you feel better. Write a letter to a friend, call someone and CRY. Ask them to just listen. Ask for a hug, ask for HELP.

Don't feel guilty about putting your baby in a bouncy seat....they won't remember and they don't do much at 2 weeks old either. Play some music that will cheer you up and dance around and be silly in front of the baby. Put the seat in the bathroom and take a warm shower or bath. I did that all the time.

Put on some holiday music, make some hot cocoa, and decorate the tree---with the baby watching in the seat. Or hold him while you hang ornaments....have someone take pics of it. There is no limit to the cheesiness and you'll look back and smile.

What about having a tree decorating party with your family? Everyone can bring cookies, or drinks and you can all do it.

I know it seems like it will never end right now, but it does. In a few days, weeks, or *gasp* months. There is a way out. My dr said if I didn't feel better....they'd give me meds for it. I ended up off my BCP and noticed a HUGE difference (and that's how I'm PG with #2).

it will get better. PROMISE.

Re: I'm so sad

Posted by Moehick

Sounds like post partum depression to me. Call your OBGYN and make an appt as soon as you can to discuss how you feel.

As far as what to do with a 2 week old....there isn't a whole lot you can do at that age. PLay music, read to him, if you have a playgym put him in it.....basically these first few weeks are very mundane....eat, diaper, sleep, eat, diaper, sleep....repeat over and over.

Hope your doctor can give you some guidence. Try to get out and do something for yourself...get your hair done, your nails done, go to dinner with a friend, shop...try to do something that makes you happy. A happy mommy means a happy baby

Re: I'm so sad

I would try to go for a walk. Its such a nice day.

It sounds to me that you have post-partum depression. I would call my OB and talk to him/her. The doctor will be the best one to be able to help you.

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I had very bad PPD. I reacted by only wanting to care for Molly and not wanting others to help..sorta a mother bear thing. I would cry a lot and there was soo much darkness. I didn't wish for my old life back but I wanted a do-over with the birth in the worst way. It consumed my entirer being.

Some doctors will push medication on you very quickly. I believe you need therapy to talk about what is going on and then see if medication is the answer. For me, I needed to move past the experiences without medication. For some women medication helps them get back to normal quickly.

HUGS!! I know this is not fun. It is also not good to keep this to yourself. I did for 5 months and I was really pushing the edge by that point. I wish I had been strong enough to ask for help sooner.

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thanks ladies. i called my ob and she said it's all very normal and asked me to sit it out another week before considering medication (not that i asked for any).

i just can't stop crying today. i think i needed my dh to leave b/c i feel i can't cry in front of him for fear of making him feel more depressed and now its all coming out.

i just can't wait for this to subside

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I posted something very similiar to this last week. My DS is also 2 weeks old. I also have no appetite and I am very depressed. I cry at everything especially when the evening comes because I know that I will be awake most of the night with DS. I love him so much but I also have told DH that I miss getting up everyday and getting dressed and going to work. Then I cry about feeling that way. We hired a nanny for 2 times a week during the day so I can rest and go out...today is her first day so we will see what happens. I also spoke with my Dr. and he prescribed antidepressants for me. I started it the other day and hopefully that will help me a little bit. I also go see a therapist which helps. I also worry that I will feel like this forever and I want to enjoy being a mother but I am too depressed at times. DH told me last night that he is very worried about me and I try to play it off that everything is OK but he knows better. I wish I had some suggestions for you but as you can tell, I am also going through the same thing. I just want to send you lots of and if you need to talk, FM me anytime!

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I know exactly what you are giong through because I had it too...it is called Post Pardum Depression and it is real. Hopefully, it wont last too long...I probably felt better about 2 to 3 weeks after my DD's birth. I was sad alot of the time, sometimes angry, sometimes tired, sometimes nothing....just know you are not alone and that this is a major life change. It should get better once you get into a routine and your hormones get back to normal. But speak to your doctor anyway if things dont get better in a few weeks.

Good luck and remember that having a baby is a major life change !

Re: I'm so sad

OH, honey, it will go away. Its completely normal to feel this way only two weeks after having the baby. I walked around( wearing the same clothes 3 days in a row, not having showered) like a zombie, like I was in mourning. I guess I was- mourning my old life. I was so upset it would never be just me and DH again( all while loving my baby and being so happy she was here- I know it seems like an oxymoron, but its true.)
It will get better for you and your DH.

Re: I'm so sad

I went through the same thing - my PPD lasted quite a few months, but it wasn't as bad all the time.

One thing my grandmother told me after I had Michael was - there will be times when you will just have to cry and she told me to just let it out and do it... We have all been there and some of us (not me) are still going through it - HUGS to you! I hope you get better soon!!!

I was like Michele where I didn't want my old life back, but I wanted to do NOTHING but care for Michael. I agree that a nice walk will do you some good. I had a winter baby and one thing his ped. told me was 40 degrees and above bundle him up and take him for a walk around the block!!! Not only did it get air in his lungs, it helped me not feel so homebound!

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since you are 2 weeks post partum like myself we probably have spoken a million times on pregnancy. I just want to give you lots of and tell you that I feel for you and I know what you are going through. I wake up and its like no one is here to talk to me...just me and the baby until about 2:00. I also feel isolated because it is so cold out and of course the babies have no shots yet. I am not totally depressed but I feel some of the same thoughts you mentioned. So please dont feel alone. What I tend to do and I have found it really helpful....make one night totally dh's night. Dont do anything with the baby just go to sleep. Let dh take on the responsibility and get some rest! If you need anything FM me. I so feel what you are feeling.

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I have been there and it sucks. You got some great advice here. Hang in there!!

Re: I'm so sad

I just wanted to send you hugs. I totally agree with taking the baby out for a walk. It will be good for both of you. Maybe you can go get a manicure or just for a drive when DH gets home from work. You need time to yourself.

Don't worry about Christmas, ordering in, or a clean house. Those things aren't as important as your health.

Re: I'm so sad

thanks everyone! its nice to know i'm not alone (although i wish this on noone).

i'll give it another week or 2 and hopefully it will get better otherwise i'll call my dr back.

Genna how was it with the nanny today? i think its a great idea but i dont know if we can afford one

Re: I'm so sad

You sound so similar to me when I gave birth. I had terrible ppd, and I wasn't eating, and would barely have an interest in getting out of bed. I really recommend calling your doctor. If you'd like the name of the therapist I used, I'd be happy to give it to you. She specializes in ppd.

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I still have days that I cry a lot. It does get easier! Hang in there.

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I don't have any advice because I didn't feel these blues after I had DS, but I wanted to send . I know you are definately not alone, I have heard this is quite common.

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Actually I suppose Im splitting hairs here but its not technically PPD at 2 week pp. Its the baby blues, hormones going crazy, new baby who cries, wakes you at all hours, 1/2 the time you have no idea what they want, body still tired from giving birth, etc. PPD isnt diagnosed until you are at least a month or so pp. I wouldnt be so quick to think you have PPD (although your OB is definitely the person to talk to) as much as you will come to see its an adjustment period when you first come home with a new human being. Ive been there - we all have. I had a painted smile on my face sometimes when everyone who ask if I love being a mother, because I wanted to cry and I felt like if I started, it would be very very hard to stop. Having a child is huge!! In the ways you obviously know going into it, and in all the small ways you can never prepare yourself for as well.

With that said, take it a day...a moment at a time. It will get better, I promise you. Of course PPD exists, but if it helps at all, what you are feeling is completely normal. If you werent feeling like that 2 weeks pp, I'd be shocked. Congratulations on your new DS, try not to feel bad about feeling like you do. It has nothing to do with your love for him, you can love your child with every ounce of your being and still have the feelings you discussed. Its good that you feel comfortable enough to talk about these feelings (under a pseudonym or otherwise :)), so you realize you are not alone.

Message edited 12/11/2006 7:46:20 PM.