In Serious Need of Prayers ***FINAL UPDATE 3/20/10***

My mother was diagnosed today with lung cancer. She will be undergoing tests to determine what stage etc in a few weeks. I would appreciate any prayers you can spare that the tests show stage 1 and localized with no spreading.

***UPDATE 9/25***

My mom is on her way home from Sloane Kettering. We expect to have test results the middle of next week.

Thank you everyone for your support and your prayers through this difficult time.


***10/16 Update***

After weeks of waiting and not knowing what the heck is going on, we got news today. Mom has Stage 3A, non-small cell carcinoma. The good news, is that it's non-small cell. Stage 3 is obviously not good (nor is the report from the MD that the pnuemonia diagnosis 18 months ago should have resulted in someone looking into the mass in her lung ). The bad news is that the pulmonologist & the oncologist both do not think she could survive surgery at the moment in time.

So, the plan is to do a few more tests and then determine what type of chemo she will have, while she is undergoing lung therapy in the hopes that they can be strengthened enough to survive surgery.

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers.

****UPDATE 10/29****

Tomorrow 10/30, is mom's first day of chemo. Any prayers you can spare that all goes well, and that she responds to treatment would be appreciated. The plan is to have one session every 3 weeks for 6 weeks, then a repeat CAT scan to determine if the tumor is shrinking. If so, 3 more rounds of chemo, and hopefully then surgery. If not, they have to either change the chemo drugs or switch to radiation.

Thanks for all your continued support.


*****UPDATE 12/11*****

After two rounds of chemo, the tumor has shrunk by 1/3!!!!!! My mom's oncologist told her flat out he did NOT expect to see such good results. She had round 3 today, with round 4 scheduled for 12/30. IF she has the same amount of progress (IE: tumor shrinking by 30%) she will be ready for surgery as soon as the pulmonologist says her lungs are strong enough to handle sedation.

Now, we just have to get her lungs strong enough (and have continued shrinking).

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers!!! They are working!!!!!!!!!

******UPDATE 1/31/2010******

I didn't get the chance to update earlier, but things may not be so good. Mom's last CT/PET scans showed new areas of interest. This is apparantly medical code for potential spreading. Mom is scheduled for a biopsy of one of the two areas of interest on Tuesday 2/2. They can biopsy the other spot without doing actually surgery, so they are holding off for now. Additionally, mom broke her leg in 3 places on 1/10, so she can't have chemo because it will interfere with the bones healing.

Hopefully the biopsy will be negative, and then they will be able to proceed to surgery to remove the mass in her lung.

Any thoughts and prayers are welcome. Thanks everybody.

***** Update 2/9/10*****

The biopsy results are in, and mom's cancer has spread to the bone. There will be no surgery to remove the mass in her lung because it's "futile" at this point. She got these results via telephone, and will sitting face to face with the oncologist in the next week or so to figure out what the plan of action will be now that they can't operate.

I'm completely devastated, as all along I kept believing it was caught early enough to do surgery and be done with it. Now I find myself preparing for the worst.

Any thoughts and prayers are welcome. As always, thank you everyone.

**** Update 3/9/2010 ****

I didn't update a few weeks ago after mom met with the oncologist because there was nothing good to report. There still isn't anything all that great to report, but here is the latest.

Her cast is finally off her broken leg. It seems to have healed nicely.

The cancer has definitely spread to the bone, and it appears the spreading is more extensive than we were originally lead to believe. After a 2 month hiatus (due to the broken leg), she restarts chemo on Thursday 3/11/10. Since the last cocktail has ceased to be effective (hence the spreading), she will be getting new drugs under a new timetable.

The bright spot in this (if you can call it that) is her case has been transferred from Sloane Kettering in Manhattan to SK on Long Island, so that long drive is no longer necessary.

Her new oncologist doesn't whitewash anything (as per my sister who met him together with mom for the first time yesterday). In response to my mother asking he said no she will never get to the Taj Mahal, no she can't cruise around South America, and puts her timetable at 6-12 months. He said there is only a 4% chance this chemo will put the cancer into remission, and that at this point all he was trying to do was "extend" her life. I'm glad I wasn't the one sitting there listening to that.

So, that's the latest. If you can spare any additional prayers that her cancer responds to this chemo and she makes it into that 4% I would appreciate it.

To all of you there in cyberspace (and those I know IRL) - thank you for being there.

***UPDATE 3/11/2010***

In the world of if anything can (or has) gone wrong it will (or already has), my mother's cancer is it.

Yesterday March 10, 2010, my mother was taken by EMS to the hospital. She was disoriented and generally unresponsive.

It turns out we have been lead down the primrose path. (some of the following I found out yesterday, some just this morning).

The tumor has doubled in size. There is a HUGE crater in her lung. Her other lung is FULL of blood clots (aka pulmunary embolism). She was never a surgical candidate.

At 11AM yesterday morning, the home health aide found her to be weak and disoriented and stated that her condition was deteriorating and called a supervisor. They (the agency) attempted to contact family, but were unable to do so. The aide left my mother's home at her scheduled time, leaving a weak and disoriented 74 year old cancer patient, who is still recovering from a broken leg and not very mobile and agile, ALONE.

My sister called to check on her and found the converstation disconcerting enough she left work, headed to mom's house and called 9-1-1 en route. Her o2 level was at 62 (anything below 85 is considered potentially fatal). She has been on 100% oxygen since EMS arrived. Her carbon dioxide levels however continue to remain TOO high. As a result of her inability to take deep enough breaths on her own to expell the carbon dioxide, she was placed on a ventilator early this morning.

After 3 hours sleep, I am on my way back to the hospital to keep vigil. She doesn't have 6-12 months left. Even in the absence of this current issue with the blood clots the lone honest MD in the mix said 3 months is optomistic.

Please pray that she comes out of this. She needs to see her grandkids one more time, and they are not allowed in the hospital's CCU ward due to their ages. I don't have a blackberry, so there will probably not be any more updates until tomorrow.

Thanks everyone.

***2nd 3/11 update***

OK, update on the home health aide leaving. The agency TOLD her to leave and get to her next client and assured her they were sending a nurse to evaluate the situation.

My sister got there waaay before the nurse. We have no idea if the nurse showed up after EMS took mom to the hospital.

The home health aide went to the hospital this morning to see how my mom was doing, and by all accounts was EXTREMELY shaken up and distraught over mom's condition.

The full account of mom's condition:

the cancer has progressed to the point that even if she overcomes the current problems (pnuemonia & the blood clots) she is at best looking at only another 4-6 weeks before passing.

She is on the ventilator for now. The purpose of the vent is to allow her body to expend all energy on healing, as she has pnuemonia. She is on mediation that will hopefully dissolve the clots. While on the vent she must be sedated. The sedation has been reduced throughout the day b/c her blood pressure was too low, and after I left she started to wake up (something the hospital staff couldn't do first thing this morning).

We (her 4 kids) have decided she will never be alone. I will be going back to the hospital tomorrow 3/12 to sit with her. It is difficult as the hospital wants the lights in her room dim, and they don't want her stimulated so she focuses on healing. This means they don't want us talking to her, so she is not struggling to try and understand what is being said, and instead focuses on nothing. I find it impossible not to tell her I'm there and that I love her. I don't care what they staff says.

***Update 3/12/2010***

After 24 hours of being on the ventilator, the MDs were able to reduce the oxygen to 50% and still get an O2 saturation level of 99-100 (which is EXCELLENT). They also were able to wake her this morning, and my sister (who was present at the time) said mom recognized her doctor.

She remains on the ventilator and was stable all day at 50%.

I had cause today to mention LI Families, and it struck me that I'm a member here b/c of LIW. It was then the memory kicked in and I recalled how it was I even stumbled across LIW. I did not in fact come upon it by accident. I did not in fact come upon it via google. I did not come upon it by anything *I* had done, other than listening to my mom when she told me she found this great website that could help me with wedding planning and I should log on and check it out! Here I am, several years later, surrounded by an amazing community, and quite a number of wonderful ladies (and a couple of gentleman) I am lucky enough to know IRL and call my friends.

It's amazing how even in adulthood my mom has helped her extraordinarily shy daughter make friends. I don't know what I'm going to do without her.

***UPDATE 3/15/2010***

I'm happy to report that mom came off the ventilator today. Whether or not she can stay off (and eventually come home) remains to be seen. After only a few hours she was mouthing "when can I go home" (she's not allowed to talk), and flipping out about being told she has to stay in the hospital at least 2 days. She "said" she doesn't want to die in the hospital.

I thank you for all the prayers that helped to get her to this point.

I promised her that if I had to carry her out on my back against doctor's orders she would not die in the hospital. I pray I can keep my promise.

Again, thank you all for your continued support.

***UPDATE 3/16/2010***

I'm sorry to say that the end is near. Mom demanded to come home. I promised her she could, and together with my sister and the hospital, hospice care was arranged, and an ambulette brought her home earlier today.

All treatment has stopped. She was lucid and coherent enough that she signed a DNR order before being discharged.

She saw her 3 living grandchildren today, and her 4 kids are now keeping a bedside vigil.

I can't believe this is happening.

**Final Update 3/20/2010**

It is with a very sad heart, that I confirm what my friend Heather has already posted. My mother passed away today at noon. I was holding her hand when she left.

As much as I know my mom would not want tears, I cannot help but shed them. As with most mothers & daughters our relationship was complicated. I hope that the happy thoughts, and good times will be passed onto my own daughter. I hope that the angst and bad feelings between mother and daughter will be reduced between me and my little girl.

As I told her both yesterday and today . . . I thank her from the bottom of my heart for the friendships I have forged on LIW and here on LIF. It was the gift that will get me through this awful time.

To my RL friends - thank you for the messages. I'm sure in the coming weeks I will be leaning on you heavily.

To my cyber friends - thank you for being on the other end of the computer.

To my mom - I love you, and I'll miss you.

Message edited 3/20/2010 11:43:17 PM.

Re: In Serious Need of Prayers

Im very sorry Dar....

You know you have my prayers...

Re: In Serious Need of Prayers

Oh Darlene I am so terribly sorry. You and your family will be in my every prayer. May she get the care she needs to fight this.

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Oh Darlene. I am so sorry to hear about this and I pray it has been caught early.

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and

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I am so sorry to hear this !! I will pray !

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I am so sorry to hear this, I will absolutly keep you and your family in prayer......I am going through the same thing now with my father...he has surgery on thursday (biopsy) came home from the hospital on monday and today we find out the results...Im a mess!! So I can totally relate to you right now.

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Oh Darlene, I'm so terribly sorry. Your family will be in our prayers

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My thoughts are with you and your family.

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I'm so sorry Darlene, let us know if you guys need anything!!!!

Many, MANY prayers for your mom.

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Oh Dar, I'm so sorry. You, and your Mom, are in my prayers. If you need anything at all, even to talk, please let me know.

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Message edited 11/29/2011 4:51:13 PM.

Re: In Serious Need of Prayers

I'm so sorry to hear that. Hopefully they can take the tumor out and not have any more treatment.

My aunt had it and they took out the lung. She seems to be doing fine. I think she had it more widespread.

I hope your mom doesn't have to go to that extreme but if it's caught early she will have an excellent prognosis.

I'm hearing this more and more. So frightening.