ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

I think it's 2 different situations here, when talking about a "well-behaved" 5 yr old vs an "irrational" toddler on the verge of a meltdown. For those of us who were not blessed with an 'easy' toddler, something as simple as playing with an iPhone is a friggen saving grace.

Message edited 10/16/2012 2:36:49 PM.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

iPad? No

iPhone or her leappad, sometimes as a back up. I'd rather her not use my phone at all, but sometimes if we're out longer than usual (due to other people, taking a long time) or it's something important (when meeting with our realtor for selling & buying, no one could watch DD and we had to keep her quiet so we could listen) then I've used it.


Also I don't really care what other kids are doing at a restaurant

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by petunias

Not sure what the difference is between that and playing with a toy or the sugar packets or coloring on the kids menu.
They are all something to keep kids busy out at a restaurant.

I notice with most kids, my DD included, when they are on the IPad, or watching a movie, or playing on the Leap Pad they are more "zoned out". The electronics are more engrossing and I see that when my DD plays she isn't paying attention to what's going on around her, or the conversation, or the waitress talking to her etc. I think kids just get so locked in to the games they are literally off in another world sometimes.

When my DD is just coloring, counting sugar packets, or reading through a book she always has one ear open. She'll chime in on a conversation, she'll stop what she's doing if you talk to her. She's just more in the moment with us which I like. And in turn, we're more interactive with her throughout the meal.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

While I wouldn't give my 2 year old an IPad because it is way too expensive an item for her to possibly break, you better believe I will do ANYTHING in a restaurant to keep her quiet and distracted.
Anything.
She is too young for polite dinner conversation and "how was your day"s
So I bring a small video player, toys, books, crayons, or let her watch videos on our phones.
If not she'd be a screaming mess at dinner and NOBODY wants that.

If she was older, I can see what everyone is saying about it not being the best idea. At 2 years old, all bets are off!

And on the flip side- as a diner- I don't care WHAT you give your kid to keep them quiet- I'd prefer they were quiet and distracted than screaming and interupting my meal.
So I would never say- OH BOY, look at that kid with an IPad at the table- I'd say, thank God that child is nice and quiet!

Message edited 10/16/2012 3:06:33 PM.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Message edited 10/16/2012 3:09:54 PM.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Posted by PennyJ923

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by petunias

Not sure what the difference is between that and playing with a toy or the sugar packets or coloring on the kids menu.
They are all something to keep kids busy out at a restaurant.

I notice with most kids, my DD included, when they are on the IPad, or watching a movie, or playing on the Leap Pad they are more "zoned out". The electronics are more engrossing and I see that when my DD plays she isn't paying attention to what's going on around her, or the conversation, or the waitress talking to her etc. I think kids just get so locked in to the games they are literally off in another world sometimes.

When my DD is just coloring, counting sugar packets, or reading through a book she always has one ear open. She'll chime in on a conversation, she'll stop what she's doing if you talk to her. She's just more in the moment with us which I like. And in turn, we're more interactive with her throughout the meal.

I just wanted to say that I hope I don't have to pull out electronics at any point, but not all kids are the same. Some kids have more energy than other, some need to be entertained more, and some can sit quietly and read books all day. Your daughter may be calmer than the next kid, so the next kid needs something to entertain them because they are more ansy.
I think it's nice you don't have to resort to electronics, but some parents may have to.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

I don't allow it. She gets plenty of TV and iPad time at home.

I want her to learn to sit and have a conversation with us or color/draw when she needs to entertain herself.

JMHO

ETA: We went to a restaurant once and had to wait a few minutes. A group came in with a bunch of teenage girls and 3 of them had iPads with them. The others had phones. They didn't interact with each other at all! My older DD was like a moth to a flame and stared at the iPads. She asked if she could play and I told her "We don't use iPads in a restaurant."

I got a death glare from the adult with the teenagers.

Message edited 10/16/2012 4:06:15 PM.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by blu6385

Posted by JennyPenny

No. I think it's unnecessary for US. I want my DDs to learn to behave themselves in all situations. I can't stand when I see it, honestly.

can i ask how you manage to do this? I am being serious with this question. Cause i have no idea and i would love to teach but at the age of 22 months all she will do is throw a huge tantrum and make a scene there is no reasoning with a child at this age, and i feel allwoing her to create such a scene is not fair to anyone else who is out trying to enjoy thier meal. I am ok with her making noise and having a small crying fit but if she is going to have a tantrum druing the whole time we are out i rather just give her my phone and let her do what she wants with it to calm her down.

The only solution i have is not to go with her which i normally dont.

I would love to know the answer to this too.
And I would also love to sit back and watch one of these parents of these "behaved" children who listen to all sorts of reason and behavior modeling try and deal with my DD for ONE hour.
I'd bet $100 they'd leave in tears and be shoving an IPAD at her to shut her up!

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

We NEVER do it, not ever, for 2 very good reasons:

1. We don't go out to dinner with the kids... almost ever
2. We don't have an ipad.

My DS is 2. He's gorgeous, totally adorable, the cutest boy for miles and miles and he's batshit crazy. He likes to throw his food.

My DD is 4.5. She knows how to sit through a meal but I still don't leave the house without crayons because dinner at a restaurant is long and boring for little kids.

If I had an iPad I wouldn't even let my DH play with it, let alone my kids.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Posted by headoverheels

I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Look... I'm not gonna judge here. I said yes, as a last resort I give my DS the IPhone when we go out. He doesn't eat, has sensory issues and anxiety with certain foods and sometimes dinners are too long. Like I said... We don't go out too often bc it's not enjoyable now with a 1 and 3 yr old. Btw... My 1 yr old loves to eat so doesn't need and distractions right now. Throw food on his tray and he's thrilled.
If your child sits nicely and is well behaved and doesn't need s distraction then that's terrific too.
I am also not going to say that in a few years my boys will be 100 percent well behaved either. I remember when my sister was a teenager. She's 7 yrs older than me and at one point hated going out to dinner with the family. Of course there was no electronics then to give her so she pretended that she wasn't part of the family and sat facing the other way. I'm sure teenagers at some point hate having to be out with the family. Now, that teenager is a mother of 6 amazing kids and has a masters in speech therapy. Sometimes her preteen daughter plays a bit on the iPhone when we are out. Not the whole time, but just to keep in touch with friends or play a game if we're out a while. It's not like the kids all sit with their heads down the whole time. Everyone takes part in conversation.
I would love to say my boys as teenagers will be perfect and sit through dinner nicely without distractions, but I can't. I once was that person that said... "oh, I'd never do that..." before I actually had kids.
I learned to never judge. A long as you're a good, loving and supportive parents that teaches your kid well then that's all that matters. Once day that boy on his iPhone at dinner will be a doctor or the girl watching a movie on the iPad will cure some disease or even invent another electronic devise. Who knows.

Eta.. My niece who's 12 and uses the iPhone once in a while is an honor student, volunteers a lot with kids with disabilities, does dance 3 days a week and competition and has a great head on her shoulders.

Message edited 10/16/2012 4:54:21 PM.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

nevermind :)

Message edited 10/16/2012 4:39:57 PM.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

I think we're the only poor family without an iPad

We have always had a "no toys" at the table rule. My kids know how to behave in restaurants. We used to have them count the people at other tables, subtract chairs, etc. We play I spy, 20 questions. They know how to have conversations. We talk all weekend long. They can talk for hours about their day when they're trying to avoid going to bed.

If DH & I are having a conversation that they aren't interested in & we're not finished eating yet, I'd rather they whip out their iPod to entertain themselves.

You know what sucks? Going out with your family & sitting alone at a table while your husband takes your kid outside to walk around because they can't sit still. Those were our dinners out during the toddler years. Maybe that's why I don't fault anyone for using an iPad.

Message edited 10/16/2012 4:44:11 PM.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Posted by maymama

Posted by headoverheels

I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine

you said what I wanted to, just with much more poise and eloquence

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Posted by nrthshgrl

I think we're the only poor family without an iPad

We have always had a "no toys" at the table rule. My kids know how to behave in restaurants. We used to have them count the people at other tables, subtract chairs, etc. We play I spy, 20 questions. They know how to have conversations. We talk all weekend long. They can talk for hours about their day when they're trying to avoid going to bed.

If DH & I are having a conversation that they aren't interested in & we're not finished eating yet, I'd rather they whip out their iPod to entertain themselves.

You know what sucks? Going out with your family & sitting alone at a table while your husband takes your kid outside to walk around because they can't sit still. Those were our dinners out during the toddler years. Maybe that's why I don't fault anyone for using an iPad.

ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Nope, it's not for us. We go out to eat probably once a week on average. I don't like how kids (and many adults!) go into zombie land when in front of electronics. It cuts you off from the world around you. I want my kids to experience everything, not tune it out so they are quiet. If I wanted to keep them quiet and in another land, I would leave them with a babysitter. We bring them out to eat because we enjoy their company and want them to be a part of things.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

We don't bring the Ipad out of the house and we only have wifi on it anyway. It's already smashed on one corner and I don't need it spilled on or dropped. That being said.. my kid sometimes get the phone when we go out to eat. Never at home. But, like someone else said.. dinner at home is 20 mins tops. Going out is longer. We never start the meal by giving him the phone. Sometimes, it never comes out but, if he is really having a hard time it does. And usually he wants to engage us in whatever he is doing on the phone so we don't even get a break We need to find some apps that he really can be more independent in

Message edited 10/16/2012 5:03:06 PM.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Posted by nrthshgrl

I think we're the only poor family without an iPad

We have always had a "no toys" at the table rule. My kids know how to behave in restaurants. We used to have them count the people at other tables, subtract chairs, etc. We play I spy, 20 questions. They know how to have conversations. We talk all weekend long. They can talk for hours about their day when they're trying to avoid going to bed.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

When my DH and I go out to dinner, we leave our kids in the car with the window cracked, and give them some grapes and a few cans of mountain dew to tide them over til we get back.

My son has his on iTouch, so he can play with that. We don't leave the iPad with the kids, because we don't want it to get stolen from the car.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Posted by summertime

Posted by maymama

Posted by headoverheels

I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine

you said what I wanted to, just with much more poise and eloquence

Exactly. I love the people who say... no never, my kids know how to behave... haha

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Posted by JennyPenny

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by blu6385

Posted by JennyPenny

No. I think it's unnecessary for US. I want my DDs to learn to behave themselves in all situations. I can't stand when I see it, honestly.

can i ask how you manage to do this? I am being serious with this question. Cause i have no idea and i would love to teach but at the age of 22 months all she will do is throw a huge tantrum and make a scene there is no reasoning with a child at this age, and i feel allwoing her to create such a scene is not fair to anyone else who is out trying to enjoy thier meal. I am ok with her making noise and having a small crying fit but if she is going to have a tantrum druing the whole time we are out i rather just give her my phone and let her do what she wants with it to calm her down.

The only solution i have is not to go with her which i normally dont.

I would love to know the answer to this too.
And I would also love to sit back and watch one of these parents of these "behaved" children who listen to all sorts of reason and behavior modeling try and deal with my DD for ONE hour.
I'd bet $100 they'd leave in tears and be shoving an IPAD at her to shut her up!

Believe me, I am not trying to convince ANYONE that my child is one for behavior modeling. She can be demon spawn at times, as well.

In the day and age of all of this technology that is accessible and readily available in any situation, it's important to ME as a parent to keep my kids tuned into what's going on around them. It is ALSO important to me that they LEARN how to behave in these situations. I never said my DD is perfect and she is not always perfect in restaurants. But- how will she learn if I give her some kind of electronic device everytime we go out so that I can eat in peace? She won't. I am a firm believer in learning by doing. Eventually she will be able to sit and be content for the duration of the time we are in a restaurant. For now, we have some bumps in the road, but we deal with it. I would say when we are alone, she behaves 90% of the time. If we are with my neice, that number drops to about 50%.

I am also the kind of parent who wants no distractions at home. The TV gets turned off and everyone sits together, every night except for Mondays when DH has school. DD gets 15 minutes on it every night and that's enough.

I have seen too many times a child completely zoned in front of a portable game device or cell phone or whatever and I don't want that for MY child. Not when we're supposed to be spending time together. Say whatever you want, but that's how I feel.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by nrthshgrl

I think we're the only poor family without an iPad

We have always had a "no toys" at the table rule. My kids know how to behave in restaurants. We used to have them count the people at other tables, subtract chairs, etc. We play I spy, 20 questions. They know how to have conversations. We talk all weekend long. They can talk for hours about their day when they're trying to avoid going to bed.

If DH & I are having a conversation that they aren't interested in & we're not finished eating yet, I'd rather they whip out their iPod to entertain themselves.

You know what sucks? Going out with your family & sitting alone at a table while your husband takes your kid outside to walk around because they can't sit still. Those were our dinners out during the toddler years. Maybe that's why I don't fault anyone for using an iPad.

We are poor too. We don't have one.
Nor will we ever I don't think. And if we ever do, my 2 year old is NOT touching it. NOOOO way.

And I agree- I think the issue here is age. At 4 or 5 then yes, you can stimulate them with conversation- maybe.
At 2- no way!

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by summertime

Posted by maymama

Posted by headoverheels

I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine

you said what I wanted to, just with much more poise and eloquence

Exactly. I love the people who say... no never, my kids know how to behave... haha

Why is it so hard to believe that some parents don't ever allow it or that some kids actually are very well behaved?

I don't allow it..........ever.

And yes, my DD is very well behaved.

Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?

I don't even have an iPad but I have given my monkey my phone to play with. My kid- my choice.