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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by computergirl
I just have to add that I bet this thread turns ugly.
First, the anti-iPad people are going to be accused of "judging", or "not knowing the whole story". To further this case, there will be 942 hypothetical scenarios presented, where the iPad was justified and not just lazy parenting. ("But.... but what if both parents were diabetic and had low blood sugar, and they just COULDN'T muster the energy to interact with their child until the food came! You see! You don't know the whole story")
Then the final smackdown will come when the pro-iPad camp suggests that they have "bigger things to worry about anyway" than what fellow diners are entertaining their children with 
I'm not one to toot my own horn, but....
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Posted 10/16/12 6:24 PM  |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by headoverheels
For us, as Devon pointed out above, it's the EXACT same thing as allowing them crayons and paper.
Well, so far I've never heard educators and psychologists talk about limiting "crayon time" the way I hear about "screen time". So I don't think they're EXACTLY the same
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| Posted 10/16/12 6:27 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by computergirl
Posted by headoverheels
For us, as Devon pointed out above, it's the EXACT same thing as allowing them crayons and paper.
Well, so far I've never heard educators and psychologists talk about limiting "crayon time" the way I hear about "screen time". So I don't think they're EXACTLY the same
 Point well taken, but I meant that crayons and paper to me are the same thing as the drawing apps on the iPad that my kids love, I should have clarified 
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| Posted 10/16/12 6:29 PM |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
I say no. But I wont say never. If my kids throws a tantrum at a restaurant, they get brought outside for a time out. If our meals have not been delivered yet, we ask for them to go if child wont chill out. If we have our meals, then I will cave and let them play just so we dont waste $$. We have never had to let them play yet....
At home - absolutely NOT! They go to bed if they cant behave at the dinner table.
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| Posted 10/16/12 6:53 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
I think the point LB was trying to make was that the child is being occupied....be that with crayons or an iPad.
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| Posted 10/16/12 7:02 PM |
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JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by blu6385
Posted by JennyPenny
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by blu6385
Posted by JennyPenny
No. I think it's unnecessary for US. I want my DDs to learn to behave themselves in all situations. I can't stand when I see it, honestly.
can i ask how you manage to do this? I am being serious with this question. Cause i have no idea and i would love to teach but at the age of 22 months all she will do is throw a huge tantrum and make a scene there is no reasoning with a child at this age, and i feel allwoing her to create such a scene is not fair to anyone else who is out trying to enjoy thier meal. I am ok with her making noise and having a small crying fit but if she is going to have a tantrum druing the whole time we are out i rather just give her my phone and let her do what she wants with it to calm her down.
The only solution i have is not to go with her which i normally dont.
I would love to know the answer to this too.
And I would also love to sit back and watch one of these parents of these "behaved" children who listen to all sorts of reason and behavior modeling try and deal with my DD for ONE hour.
I'd bet $100 they'd leave in tears and be shoving an IPAD at her to shut her up!
Believe me, I am not trying to convince ANYONE that my child is one for behavior modeling. She can be demon spawn at times, as well.
In the day and age of all of this technology that is accessible and readily available in any situation, it's important to ME as a parent to keep my kids tuned into what's going on around them. It is ALSO important to me that they LEARN how to behave in these situations. I never said my DD is perfect and she is not always perfect in restaurants. But- how will she learn if I give her some kind of electronic device everytime we go out so that I can eat in peace? She won't. I am a firm believer in learning by doing. Eventually she will be able to sit and be content for the duration of the time we are in a restaurant. For now, we have some bumps in the road, but we deal with it. I would say when we are alone, she behaves 90% of the time. If we are with my neice, that number drops to about 50%.
I am also the kind of parent who wants no distractions at home. The TV gets turned off and everyone sits together, every night except for Mondays when DH has school. DD gets 15 minutes on it every night and that's enough.
I have seen too many times a child completely zoned in front of a portable game device or cell phone or whatever and I don't want that for MY child. Not when we're supposed to be spending time together. Say whatever you want, but that's how I feel.
so what do you do when she does misbhave?? You let her throw the tantrum and disturb everyone around you?
This is what i dont get if they are mis behaving you think a resutrant where people are tying to eat and enjoy themselves is the place to teach them a lesson? You can say yes and i will be fine with answer im just wondering how you handle the situation
My daughter has never once thrown a tantrum in a restaurant, so I've never had her disturb others so I could teach her a lesson.
When I say misbehavior, it's more like singing loudly or standing up in the booth to look out the window. The one time she screamed in a restaurant was because she jammed her finger. The other patrons were disturbed for that three minutes while I soothed her.
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| Posted 10/16/12 7:21 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
At regular dinner time at home, I would not allow that. When we are out, I used to say NO. Then I got smart and figured if I want to semi enjoy my meal, why not whip out the phone? I dont get to go out enough so I go for the peace and quiet if the phone works. Lazy yes! I am just too tired and barely ever get to enjoy a meal so when I am out, I will be lazy if that helps me not have to gulp down my food.
btw, my DD doesn't throw fits. She is well behaved but it does get pretty boring waiting in the seat for the meal. So I figure why not?
Message edited 10/16/2012 7:37:24 PM.
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| Posted 10/16/12 7:26 PM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by summertime
Posted by maymama
Posted by headoverheels
I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine 
you said what I wanted to, just with much more poise and eloquence  
Exactly. I love the people who say... no never, my kids know how to behave... haha
Why is it so hard to believe that some parents don't ever allow it or that some kids actually are very well behaved? 
I don't allow it..........ever.
And yes, my DD is very well behaved.
I'm wondering this as well. Both my boys (2.5 and 10 months) are very well behaved. I've taken them out to dinner by myself before as well as with my husband or other people. No, we don't give them electronics to occupy them. Not sure why that deserves to be criticized or ridiculed.
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| Posted 10/16/12 7:28 PM |
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summertime
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/10 852 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by wingsofsong
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by summertime
Posted by maymama
Posted by headoverheels
I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine
you said what I wanted to, just with much more poise and eloquence
Exactly. I love the people who say... no never, my kids know how to behave... haha
Why is it so hard to believe that some parents don't ever allow it or that some kids actually are very well behaved?
I don't allow it..........ever.
And yes, my DD is very well behaved.
I'm wondering this as well. Both my boys (2.5 and 10 months) are very well behaved. I've taken them out to dinner by myself before as well as with my husband or other people. No, we don't give them electronics to occupy them. Not sure why that deserves to be criticized or ridiculed.
It's not about electronics. Obviously up until this point your children require no entertaining, that is great. They may or may not someday. My point is that some do and why is that perceived as a bad thing? I have 3 boys and have taken them out to dinner too many times to count alone. some days they are good, some days not so good. never say never.
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| Posted 10/16/12 7:46 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by summertime
Posted by maymama
Posted by headoverheels
I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine
you said what I wanted to, just with much more poise and eloquence
Exactly. I love the people who say... no never, my kids know how to behave... haha
Why is it so hard to believe that some parents don't ever allow it or that some kids actually are very well behaved?
I don't allow it..........ever.
And yes, my DD is very well behaved.
You're having a boy right? Come back in 2 yrs and let me know how the monkey is doing. Because I'm sure by then you'll be pulling colored tissues out if your ass trying to get him to sit still and not climb the booth next to you.
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| Posted 10/16/12 7:55 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by JennZ
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by summertime
Posted by maymama
Posted by headoverheels
I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine
you said what I wanted to, just with much more poise and eloquence
Exactly. I love the people who say... no never, my kids know how to behave... haha
Why is it so hard to believe that some parents don't ever allow it or that some kids actually are very well behaved?
I don't allow it..........ever.
And yes, my DD is very well behaved.
You're having a boy right? Come back in 2 yrs and let me know how the monkey is doing. Because I'm sure by then you'll be pulling colored tissues out if your ass trying to get him to sit still and not climb the booth next to you.
Actually, I don't know what I am having. But rest assured, if I have a boy I will manage just fine. I am confident in my parenting skills and I am sure I will be able to handle my little "monkey".
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| Posted 10/16/12 8:11 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by JennyPenny
My daughter has never once thrown a tantrum in a restaurant, so I've never had her disturb others so I could teach her a lesson.
When I say misbehavior, it's more like singing loudly or standing up in the booth to look out the window. The one time she screamed in a restaurant was because she jammed her finger. The other patrons were disturbed for that three minutes while I soothed her.
See this is different my daughter throws big screaming tantrums! When she wants something she makes it clear by screaming that she want it at the age of 22 months 
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| Posted 10/16/12 8:13 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Message edited 10/16/2012 8:36:11 PM.
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| Posted 10/16/12 8:35 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by JennZ
You're having a boy right? Come back in 2 yrs and let me know how the monkey is doing. Because I'm sure by then you'll be pulling colored tissues out if your ass trying to get him to sit still and not climb the booth next to you.
I have a boy and he behaves in restaurants. Always has. I really don't think this is about gender.
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| Posted 10/16/12 8:36 PM |
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dajc23
My Loves :)
Member since 1/09 4980 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
I'm just jealous of all of your well behaved children
My kids are crazy. I very rarely take them out to eat and when I do you beat your ass I take every piece of modern technology I can to distract them.
I'm almost positive people would rather see my children be quiet and entertained rather than screaming, jumping, and throwing themselves all over. At least I know I would
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| Posted 10/16/12 8:49 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by Hofstra26
Actually, I don't know what I am having. But rest assured, if I have a boy I will manage just fine. I am confident in my parenting skills and I am sure I will be able to handle my little "monkey".
I actually don't think this is about parenting skills. At least not for me. I always reprimand and keep my child in order, especially in public. She has no fits, behaves and never has embarrassed me publicly or thrown a fit. However, that part of parenting makes me VERY tired and for me, it makes for a miserable meal to have to constantly entertain my child to keep her from wanting to leave. I am tired of always having to be a drill sergeant so I will gladly reward myself with the iphone as relief the two times a month I go out to eat. I don't always use it once the food comes but waiting for the food can be so boring to a child who is waiting patiently. And I don't feel like coloring or playing or reprimanding to keep my child from wanting to leave. So if the phone helps and keeps my child occupied, that works for me. No biggie once in a while when out. At home, no, I would not want to get into that habit. But it's a lot easier to allow your child to get up when done at home, than when you are in a restaurant and just got served your meal. And your DC ate one bite and is DONE.
Message edited 10/16/2012 9:04:26 PM.
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| Posted 10/16/12 8:51 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by Goobster
I am tired of always having to be a drill sergeant so I will gladly reward myself with the iphone as relief the two times a month I go out to eat.
I personally prefer to reward myself with a chocolate martini and let my DH color with the kids
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| Posted 10/16/12 8:54 PM |
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luckyinlove
I love my baby girls!
Member since 12/06 2441 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
I am so guilty of this for nights when it is just me and my DD's. DH does not tolerate it and I know I am wrong. My DD is 3 and will not sit at the table and eat unless she is watching something. I know i need to kick her of the habit. 
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| Posted 10/16/12 8:55 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by computergirl
Posted by Goobster
I am tired of always having to be a drill sergeant so I will gladly reward myself with the iphone as relief the two times a month I go out to eat.
I personally prefer to reward myself with a chocolate martini and let my DH color with the kids
That used to work but DD is beyond crayons and coloring in a restaurant. Not a novelty anymore I suspect.
Now that she is older, my DD rather go take a walk to the bathroom or wants to eat and leave ASAP. So the iphone or leapad or Vtech is the only way to have a dinner where I am not rushed 10 mins into the meal. I always tell my DD, please don't rush us. We are not done eating. But tell that to a bored child who is done eating 5 minutes into the meal.
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| Posted 10/16/12 8:57 PM |
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Im fine w it and i honestly dont judge other parents if i see it when we are out. To each their own and you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. Personally I've given DS my phone at restaurants when he starts to get antsy. It keeps him preoccupied and allows us to finish a meal w out a tantrum. Whats the problem?
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| Posted 10/16/12 8:58 PM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
We just bring our 52 inch TV and our PS3 so the kids can watch whatever they want on Netflix when we go out to eat.
I kid. Honestly, I won't lie. I have absolutely handed my DC my phone to play a game at dinner at a restaurant when they had run out of patience sitting. I see nothing wrong with it.
And I will not judge any other parent who hands their child a game system at a restaurant.
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| Posted 10/16/12 9:10 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
I firmly believe in "whatever works for you". Just because I do something 1 way doesn't mean the way someone else does it is wrong (well, unless it really is )
We don't do electronic things during meals, at home or in restaurants. It's just something we avoid. Thankfully my girls are pretty good in restaurants, and I do bring coloring books/crayons, a few Little People for my little girl, that's about it.
We also don't own a DVD player for our car, and we take lots of road trips. But at this point, my girls entertain each other for most of the trip anyway
And again...."whatever works for you"
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| Posted 10/16/12 9:26 PM |
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LulaBell
:)
Member since 1/06 3508 total posts
Name:
J
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ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
I needed it more when DD was younger and you couldn't reason with her. Now that she is three she is much better behaved bit sometimes start to melt down towards the end of a long meal and I let we use my iPhone. I really don't care what others do either and think it depends on the kid. My daughter is bright and wonderful but very spirited and energetic. I teach her appropriate behavior and model good manners constantly but it doesn't always work. So, when crayons, walks outside, toys, and books have failed, se has watched a video on my phone so that I can finish my meal.
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| Posted 10/16/12 9:41 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
we don't have an ipad....but we don't use electronics.
i guess mine are simple...he plays tic tac toe and she is entertained with tortilla chips.
honestly, i don't believe in any toys or snacks during mass-a restaurant is a breeze compared to that.
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| Posted 10/16/12 9:52 PM |
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jax1
Love my baby girl!!!
Member since 3/09 3405 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by blu6385
Posted by JennyPenny
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by blu6385
Posted by JennyPenny
No. I think it's unnecessary for US. I want my DDs to learn to behave themselves in all situations. I can't stand when I see it, honestly.
can i ask how you manage to do this? I am being serious with this question. Cause i have no idea and i would love to teach but at the age of 22 months all she will do is throw a huge tantrum and make a scene there is no reasoning with a child at this age, and i feel allwoing her to create such a scene is not fair to anyone else who is out trying to enjoy thier meal. I am ok with her making noise and having a small crying fit but if she is going to have a tantrum druing the whole time we are out i rather just give her my phone and let her do what she wants with it to calm her down.
The only solution i have is not to go with her which i normally dont.
I would love to know the answer to this too.
And I would also love to sit back and watch one of these parents of these "behaved" children who listen to all sorts of reason and behavior modeling try and deal with my DD for ONE hour.
I'd bet $100 they'd leave in tears and be shoving an IPAD at her to shut her up!
Believe me, I am not trying to convince ANYONE that my child is one for behavior modeling. She can be demon spawn at times, as well.
In the day and age of all of this technology that is accessible and readily available in any situation, it's important to ME as a parent to keep my kids tuned into what's going on around them. It is ALSO important to me that they LEARN how to behave in these situations. I never said my DD is perfect and she is not always perfect in restaurants. But- how will she learn if I give her some kind of electronic device everytime we go out so that I can eat in peace? She won't. I am a firm believer in learning by doing. Eventually she will be able to sit and be content for the duration of the time we are in a restaurant. For now, we have some bumps in the road, but we deal with it. I would say when we are alone, she behaves 90% of the time. If we are with my neice, that number drops to about 50%.
I am also the kind of parent who wants no distractions at home. The TV gets turned off and everyone sits together, every night except for Mondays when DH has school. DD gets 15 minutes on it every night and that's enough.
I have seen too many times a child completely zoned in front of a portable game device or cell phone or whatever and I don't want that for MY child. Not when we're supposed to be spending time together. Say whatever you want, but that's how I feel.
so what do you do when she does misbhave?? You let her throw the tantrum and disturb everyone around you?
This is what i dont get if they are mis behaving you think a resutrant where people are tying to eat and enjoy themselves is the place to teach them a lesson? You can say yes and i will be fine with answer im just wondering how you handle the situation
I'm just jumping in here. We don't have an IPAD, but my husband and I tend to think along the lines of no electronics at the dinner table, even at restaurants. My DD is only a little over a year, but it's something I feel strongly about now, we'll see in the future!
My DD usually is pretty good at dinner. She colors. Sometimes I give her a toy. If she is really getting antsy or acting up, my husband or I will take her for a walk and it usually helps. Sometimes she needs to sit on my lap and then she's better.
We also try to make sure we eat at places that are kid-friendly and try to be in and out quickly because after a certain amount of time, she doesn't want to be contained anymore!
That's what we do for now.
I don't like electronics at the table because of the kid being zoned out. I dont care what others do, that's just for my family.
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| Posted 10/16/12 10:55 PM |
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