Irrational fears

I watched Nancy Grace tonight and there was a story about yet ANOTHER woman killing her beautiful little girl. It turned my stomach so I shut it off and tried to go to sleep.

They kept showing professional pictures of this 18 month old baby. The look of happiness and trust in her face- I just know that she was smiling at her mommy who was probably standing behind the photographer. Every time I closed my eyes my brain kept flashing to that sweet toddler's face. Smiling at her mommy who was supposed to protect her.Then my thoughts turned to what my life would be like if something ever happend to my babies- and now I'm sitting here on my computer with my stomach in knots on the verge of a panic attack.

I just don't understand what could possess someone to hurt their baby. My babies are my LIFE. I love my husband and my marriage comes first, but if my marriage fell apart tomorrow or if something happend to my DH I know even though I'd fall apart, eventually I'd put myself back together. If something ever happend to my babies..... I think I would just cease to exist because my heart would be gone.

I just want to go into their rooms right now and scoop them up and never let them go.

This is so hard. I knew that my life would change once these little beings got here. I just didn't know that the core of who I AM would change. That I wouldn't be just ME anymore. Now, my whole being, my soul, is a mixture of them and me.

My mother has always said that motherhood is "agony and ecstacy". I understand that now.

I think I have to limit all my TV time to Sesame Street and Happy Feet from now on. And maybe some VH1 Reality shows.

Re: Irrational fears

I totally know how you feel, a few months ago, Chris had to do CPR on a 5 week old baby who ended up dying b/c his parents overfed him chocolate milk it sent both of us into a tailspin for days.

I honestly can only cope by putting it out of my head....as dumb as that sounds

Re: Irrational fears

I don't think we will ever really understand how a parent can hurt their own child. It's just the most horrific thing someone can do IMO. This little person, that you created, trusts you with their life. You truly are a monster if you can do this

Re: Irrational fears

Posted by Porrruss

I just don't understand what could possess someone to hurt their baby. My babies are my LIFE. I love my husband and my marriage comes first, but if my marriage fell apart tomorrow or if something happend to my DH I know even though I'd fall apart, eventually I'd put myself back together. If something ever happend to my babies..... I think I would just cease to exist because my heart would be gone.

I just want to go into their rooms right now and scoop them up and never let them go.

This is so hard. I knew that my life would change once these little beings got here. I just didn't know that the core of who I AM would change. That I wouldn't be just ME anymore. Now, my whole being, my soul, is a mixture of them and me.

My mother has always said that motherhood is "agony and ecstacy". I understand that now.

Re: Irrational fears

Posted by KateDevine



I totally know how you feel, a few months ago, Chris had to do CPR on a 5 week old baby who ended up dying b/c his parents overfed him chocolate milk it sent both of us into a tailspin for days.

I honestly can only cope by putting it out of my head....as dumb as that sounds

Message edited 5/3/2009 11:38:20 PM.

Re: Irrational fears

aww sis... I am sitting here on the phone with you, so I know how upset you are///

but I have to remind you of all the times my son is throwing a fit from HEEEEEEELLL and I sit there envisioning myself beating the ever living snot out of him...

and remind you... YES agony and ecstasy it is...

You be well for your babies... protect them and guide them... it is the best you can do.

A wise man once told me (in the form of a therapist) that it does no good worrying about the things that are PROBABLY not going to happen to you.

you're human and you're a beautiful person... so I know you can't help but feel empathy.

Re: Irrational fears

Re: Irrational fears

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by HeathKernandez

aww sis... I am sitting here on the phone with you, so I know how upset you are///

but I have to remind you of all the times my son is throwing a fit from HEEEEEEELLL and I sit there envisioning myself beating the ever living snot out of him...

and remind you... YES agony and ecstasy it is...

You be well for your babies... protect them and guide them... it is the best you can do.

A wise man once told me (in the form of a therapist) that it does no good worrying about the things that are PROBABLY not going to happen to you.

you're human and you're a beautiful person... so I know you can't help but feel empathy.

Ok - I am def. hormonal because I now have tears in my eyes.

Can you send that wise man my way, I definately need him!

Re: Irrational fears

I hate hearing those stories on these poor kids ~ It breaks my heart. I also wonder how they go from loving there child to probably snapping. It happens more than we know ~ all the children that don't make TV. Makes me hug my DS even more each day!

Some & for the little girl that had to lose her life at such an early age.