Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Interesting conversation I had with two of my sisters this weekend.

One sister has two kids and is expecting her third. She does not know if she will be finished having kids after her third or not. Other sister has one, will have another-hopefully and will definitely be finished having kids then as she said financially she does not see her being able to have three and to provide all three with what she wants to provide them with.

Sister #1 does not agree with this at all -she said she will never let money be the deciding factor on how many kids they have and that she thinks its a greater gift to give her kids another sibling than to be able to give them extra toys, classes etc etc.

Both sisters live comfortably, both are married and both would be able to provide the basics for 3-4 kids but one will have 2 kids as opposed to 3 or so she can give her two kids extra things.

What do you think - is it better to provide a sibling or to provide extra material things and more than likely your one on one time.

It gave me food for thought as I just had my second child and really don't know if I am done or not.

Thoughts?

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

i never really thought of it that way.

i knew i would not have more children than i could support financially. right now, that's 2. down the road, i might be able to afford to have 3 or 4.

but i would never let the "extras" stop me from having more kids. as long as we have money for food, clothes, and the occasionally outing, i think that's enough.

my parents did not pay for college (they took out loans when they could but i am paying it all back) and while i will save for my children i don't plan on paying for their entire post-high school education.

so i guess i would agree with sister #1, but i don't necessarily think of it the same way she does - for me, it's not about more "stuff" vs. more siblings. i just like the idea of having a big family!

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

I grew up in a family of 5. We did not take very many vacations (never extravagant)....we camped 1 or 2 times & drove to Florida....no Disney...visited family & went to a few places for day trips)......we had "things"....Nintendo, TV's, VCR.....a pool.....bikes.....nothing fancy....and we were a pretty happy bunch!!!


If I did not have to work FT to support our house.....I would have bunches of kids!



$$$ is NOT a deciding factor based on wanting to provide more "things" in life.

$$$ IS a deciding factor right now ONLY for the childcare aspect.....can't afford to pay sitter much more then we already do.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

$$ will not necessarily determine the # of kids we have but it will definitley play a part in how far apart they will be from each other. Having 2 in diapers & 2 in daycare can be very expensive....

Message edited 8/24/2009 11:40:21 AM.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

For me it def is. We can't afford to have 2 kids in daycare at the same time. It is also very important for me to put a decent amount of money away for college. Not that I want my kids to be spoiled but I would like to provide a good life for them. I think 2 may be our limit!!!

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Absolutely positively yes...yes...yes!!!!I grew up in a family with 3 siblings in what would be considered by todays standards "poor." There was no room for extras, we shopped at the salvation army for school clothes, i received those "free lunch" coupons at school and my college tuition is currently still being paid for by me depite the fact I have graduated more than ten years ago. It was hard for my mom, and we struggled A Lot. I never forget the face on my mom when she told me that maybe next year I could get a brand new pair of sneakers at Sears instead of the "gently used" ones I had to wear from the Salvation Army. I never want my kids to go hungry every single day at school b/c they were so embarrased to use the "free lunch" coupons at school or made fun of because the bike they were using came out of the neighbors curbside trash. with that said...the number of kids I have will be determined by the number of dollars in my bank account. And yes...I do want my kids to have all of the extras that I never had...

Message edited 8/24/2009 11:44:40 AM.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

It wouldn't stop me from have 2 kids vs 3 but it would stop me from having 2-3 vs 6 (not that I ever planned to have 6 kids).

I just don't think there is a big difference in what we could provide 2 vs 3 but there would be a big difference as the number hit 5 or 6.

I think you need to take finances into consideration as you plan family size but I wouldn't let it be the sole deciding factor.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

No, money is not a deciding factor for us, but age is.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Money is a factor in that daycare is so much $$$$ I would love to have 4 kids but I know there is no way we could afford it at this point in our lives.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

I'm not so much concerned with toys and stuff as I am with paying for college. I would like to be able to pay for my kids colleges without having to take out any loans.

Ideally, we will have 2 kids, because I want DD to have a sibling. But you never know, if we have another DD I may want to go for a 3rd. But that probably won't happen until both are in public school. Or at least DD #1 is in public school.

It is true though, the less children you have, the more you can give to each. If you can be happy with less children, then that is the way to go. If you feel the need to have many children, then so be it.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Absolutely, yes.

I want my children to live in a nice home, in a great neighborhood. I don't want to worry about where the money is going to come from for school supplies, clothes, etc

I have one child and will hopefully have one more.

I watched my brother go from 2 to 3 when he was unsure about the financial impacts. Well, that was two years ago and the after effect is profound. They struggle with things I don't want to struggle with. It doesn't bother them, but it would definitely bother me.

Also, as a FT working mom, I think it's smarter for us to keep our family small.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

No, money has nothing to do with how many kids I want.

If I have one boy and one girl, I'll be done after 2 kids. If I have another boy, I may go for a third child.

I think age will dictate how many kids I will have.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Posted by NinaLemon

Posted by MrsFlatbread



Absolutely positively yes...yes...yes!!!!I grew up in a family with 3 siblings in what would be considered by todays standards "poor." There was no room for extras, we shopped at the salvation army for school clothes, i received those "free lunch" coupons at school and my college tuition is currently still being paid for by me depite the fact I have graduated more than ten years ago. It was hard for my mom, and we struggled A Lot. I never forget the face on my mom when she told me that maybe next year I could get a brand new pair of sneakers at Sears instead of the "gently used" ones I had to wear from the Salvation Army. I never want my kids to go hungry every single day at school b/c they were so embarrased to use the "free lunch" coupons at school or made fun of because the bike they were using came out of the neighbors curbside trash. with that said...the number of kids I have will be determined by the number of dollars in my bank account. And yes...I do want my kids to have all of the extras that I never had...

I find it really interesting that we grew up in what seems like similar circumstances but have very different reactions to it. I have 6 siblings, never wore a "new" piece of clothing until I was old enough to get a job (I started working when I was 12), I could never buy lunch, Troll book orders etc., my bike was a miss-mash of parts (including one blue and one red tire ...better to make streaks on the road with! ) but I never felt deprived or embarrased by our circumstances. There were times when I was jealous of friends who got to on vacations over the summer or Spring Break, but for the most part it didn't bother me and I never felt poor. You ask my sisters the same question and I'm sure you'll get different answers, I know at least one who felt we were poor and deprived. It is interesting to see how different people react.

For me, money does affect how many kids to a point. I wouldn't want to have to wonder if I will have food on the table, but I wouldn't worry about making sure my children have lots of things. I would like to be able to help my children with college so they are not in the same position I am after graduating. I don't expect to pay for all of college, but I want to help. I know we could not afford 7 kids the way my parents did, but 3 or 4 I'm sure we could find a way.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

no not really- i just know that 2 is my limit for my own sanity and b/c i do have to work.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Yes, unfortunately it is a factor for us. Afterall, $ dictates the size house we own and therefore comfortably fit kids in. It also dictates that I need to still work, and therefore rely on others to watch my kids (some for free, some for $).

So therefore, we will likely only have 2 kids (unless my next pregnancy is multiples, of course).

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

NO Money has NOTHING to do with me being done after 2 kids.

I always wanted 2, after having my 2nd I have ZERO urges to try for a 3rd and don't really see myself wanting to in the future. I also don't like being pg at all and i don't like the 6 months after having the baby when your body is in that in between stage. No more for me!

after 2, it's a whole new ballgame not even considering providiing the essentials for a 3rd like larger car, home etc.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Yes and No...

We have decided to only have 2 kids but that is more because we feel thats what we can handle physically and emotionally.

In terms of money, it does play a part because we want to do certain things for our kids and we feel that we will be better able with only 2 kids. Its not about the # of toys or vacations to us...we want to be prepared for their college educations, we want to help with their weddings and first homes, when they have kids we want to be able to help them (babysit, spoil the kids etc) they way our parents are doing. So in the LONG term we feel 2 is better than 3 for us....

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Money has nothing to do with the fact that im done at 2 children.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Money has nothing to do with getting "extras", but everything to do with daycare. Right now we are struggling paying for daycare. It's seriously a small house mortgage payment. We have nothing left. My DS has really no toys except whatever I recieved from my shower. I doubt we will ever take a vacation for a few years. Honestly I coud not justify having a second, no matter how much I would want one. The money is simply not there and we don't live extravagantly. We live modestly and paycheck to paycheck.

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Absolutely.

We have our twins in daycare and it's $1560 per month....PLUS all that formula and all those diapers......We would be paying $2340 per month with another child in daycare alone. Just can't do it.....

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

no, money is not the deciding factor for us. I'm 98% sure we're done at two.

Our bank acct can handle another kid, but I'm not sure my sanity can...

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

I'd have to say yes and no. I certainly would need enough money to provide comfortably for all of my children, but above and beyond being able to provide for and take care of them, no, it is not a factor. When we talk about how many kids we want, a lot of people say that's x amount of college tuition, can you afford that? IMO, as nice as it would be to be able to pay for all of my kids' tuitions, it is not a deciding factor in whether or not to have a child. I mean, I'd rather be born and have a life and have to take out a loan for college than never exist at all :)

Re: Is money a deciding factor on the number of kids you will have?

Message edited 8/24/2009 4:29:16 PM.