Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

Hello all,

I am married to the most wonderful man in the world who just so happens to be from New York. We currently live in GA but his entire family lives in LI. His parents moved here (GA) a while ago and when his mother got sick, DH came to be with her. When she passed, his father went back and DH stayed because he had a good job (he's a truck-driver) and a family. We both are very tired of GA and there are number of factors to that: I have a master's degree in Organizational leadership with an HR focus, but I have been unable to find a job with a decent wage for nearly two years. We also are in an interracial relationship (I'm black and my husband is Italian). We thought that by moving close to Atlanta, we would be more welcomed by the community. Boy were we wrong! The looks, comments at the grocery store, the names that my child is called at school are all just too much for him because he's not use to that and even though I grew up in the deep south and know how certain people are, I'm tired of it too. The schools here are awful and there isn't much to do without going into the city of Atlanta, which sometimes is too much after a long week.

His family says that I will be able to find a good job there, that we'll be able to get on our feet by living with them (in an apartment attached to their house). Meanwhile, my family is just infatuated with the fact that they will have somewhere to visit.

I've been there once when it snowed, so I know that I will hate it, but I also feel like the south has similar weather just in reverse. From May to September you'll melt trying get to your car and heaven forbid you try to go outside before nightfall. I also know that the cost of living is really high there, but is that worth it?

My question is: is the move worth it? Have you or moved from the south to that area and loved it or hated it? Should we look for options elsewhere, and if so where?
P.S. sorry for the length but I wanted to make sure I gave as much info as possible...

Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

I haven't moved from the south, but I wanted to point out that you would have more job opportunities and likely a higher salary in the city. You can live on LI and commute into the city, depending on where the apartment is. Most Long Island school districts are very good.

I think it's hard to say if its "worth it" until you have a job offer and know your salary. Does your DH have job opportunities here?

I'm sorry your family has been treated poorly in GA. I know several interracial couples, including one of my best friends. They all live in the city. It's a nonissue.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

It may be hard to find people who will tell you to move to LI when people are leaving LI in droves! But that is mostly because of how expensive it is - it is one of the top most expensive places to live in the US and property taxes are ridiculously insane. House prices are silly high. And yes the cold and the snow is the absolute worst.

All that being said - comparing apples to apples job-wise, you will probably make more money here. You are so close to so many beaches. You can take a ferry to other states. You can take a short train ride to NYC! In my opinion, the food and restaurants are better than anywhere else in the US except maybe Los Angeles and even then maybe not. It really only snows during 3 months out of the year. It is ethnically diverse in many areas. So many school districts are award winning and even the ones that aren't so good are still better than in many other places.

I will never leave LI. Good luck!

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

I've never moved from Long Island, but I know I'm one of the ones that won't ever leave. So I can't comment on moving from another area. But here are my thoughts

The higher paying jobs are obviously closer to the city, but I live out east and we happy where we are at. There are some towns out east that aren't as expensive. I'm a sahm right now by choice, and we live comfortably.

Besides the snow, the rest of the seasons I think are great! Our summers only get really hot for a few weeks if that, and There's a lot to do any direction you go in.

I'm not sure of the hr job market, but I'd be willing to guess you could find something decent.

Also, I am not in an interracial relationship but my sister is. I could be wrong, but in my opinion it's much more accepted here than other places especially the south. Her stepson who is also interracial does well in school. I've never heard anything bad. I feel like it's becoming the norm here. I'm sure it's not perfect, but from what you are describing where you live sounds terrible!

Good luck with your decision!

ETA: I'm curious what town your husband grew up in? Some towns are more segregated than others. I truly believe there's a place that fits everyone here. And I just asked my sister about her thought being interracial and she said it's a non issue.

Message edited 3/23/2017 10:17:20 AM.

Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

Certainly it's a personal preference, but I grew up in GA and lived in NC for 6 years before moving to LI. We lived there for 3 years and just moved back to NC. I'm sad to have left b/c I'm *really* going to miss living near NYC and I really liked my job, but that's about all I'll miss. Here's a response to your items:

* cost of living is crazy there if you're used to a cheaper location. We made more money, but I don't think it made that much of a difference since everything (food, taxes, housing, etc) are higher, too.
* DH & I are both white, but I noticed that it was pretty racist on LI, too (co-workers that experienced the issues). The people I mentioned it to thought I was crazy, but they were white people that didn't experience it.
* Schools are definitely better, depending on the area you move to.
* I *hated* the winters. I actually got depressed on June 21 b/c I knew the days were getting shorter and the horrible winter was coming. Thankfully the last 2 winters weren't horrible, but there was a 3 foot snow last year and our first winter was non-stop snow for all of February and part of March.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

That's good to hear. Dh can transfer because his company is nationwide. I am worried about him driving a tractor trailer up there though especially in the winter.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

Cost of living and taxes are very high. Long Island is very segregated as well. It might be better than Georgia but not by much, imo. The racism is less obvious but definitely prevalent.

Message edited 3/22/2017 10:10:10 PM.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

I am in an interracial relationship - I am Italian American and my BF is African American and I can tell you that you will experience the same nonsense (stares, comments) up here as well. We get it all the time ... from men and women, black or white ... it doesn't matter. NYC and Brooklyn are a smidge better but there are people who just don't approve and have no problem letting you know. But if you want to move to LI don't let that stop you - you'll experience that no matter where you move.

Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

We are one of the ones running from NY. We are done with the high cost of living and snow. My dh's cousin had the same issue as you did living in Atlanta. She is Hispanic. His other cousin had no issues.

How would you feel living with family? That can get tough. I've done it so talking from experience. As others have said you will find racism wherever you go unfortunately and Long Island is segregated.

There are pros and cons to NY of course and once we leave we will be back at least 1x a year to visit family.

Start researching jobs and cost of living in NY and other states. You need to see where you can work and live comfortably.

Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

If your DH has flexibility with where he could work from, then I'd suggest that you look into where there are jobs for you, and maybe not move until you secure a job. While moving in with family on LI may sound appealing, it may be a long time before you find a job or can afford to move out due to the high cost of living on LI. It sounds like you don't love the idea of living on LI, but you're ready for a change and nothing is keeping you in GA. Maybe look into jobs in NC or VA. You'd still be southern, but less south than GA.

Another thing to consider is whether your DH would get a pay increase or not when being based out of LI. If not, then the higher cost of living will mean his salary won't go as far. Also, I assume your DH is gone for periods of time if he drives trucks, so another thing to consider is if you're going to be happy left home with his family in a new place.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

A lot of people are moving from LI because the cost of living is so high (taxes are a big part of it too). What about another big city that may offer more job opportunities? I have family that moved to Texas. Cost of living is better and they have jobs that pay well. They are in the Houston area.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

You might have more job opportunities however, coming from GA I think you're going to have sticker shock when it comes to the cost of living here. If you're use to having a nice, big, affordable house down there just realize, you won't have that here. Home prices are high as are the taxes, in some towns the taxes are literally mind boggling.

Also, if you HATE the cold and snow you're going to be unhappy here. The winters are dreary, gray, long, and cold.............I don't mind it because I hate the heat however, you might find it to be miserable.

Overall, you really cannot compare LI to anywhere down south, it's like night and day. The lifestyle, the homes, the cost of living, the pace of life, the traffic and on and on. I was born and raised on the island but after college DH and I moved to FL for 4 years and it was VERY different then here on the island. It was really nothing like living on the island and we didn't like it and came back to NY. You're absolutely going to have to get use to a different lifestyle and pace if you make the move to the island.

Is it worth it? I don't know that there is a hard answer to that. It depends on so many things, at the top of the list is............can you even afford it? If money will be tight and you'll just be getting by up here then I would say no, it won't be worth it. If you can afford to live here comfortably, there are more job opportunities for you, and you think you'll be happy here then maybe it's worth it. It's really on you to figure that out.

My suggestion, before you do anything, would be to research real estate here to get an idea of what you get for your money. Also, take trips up to the island. The only way to know if you'll like it or can see yourself living here is to get familiar with the area you're thinking of moving to. Make some trips up, check out the island, and see if you can picture yourself up here.

Ultimately, racism and $hitty people will be everywhere you go, even NY isn't immune to that, so if that is part of the motivation to move you might not find much relief being here. But the most important consideration should be the cost of living, you're going to have to do some HW to see what you can afford and if a move to somewhere with a considerably higher cost of living makes sense for you and your family. Good luck!

P.S. - We're actually looking to move off the island again but we're going more north to MA. Cost of living is similar but the pace and lifestyle is a little different. Personally, I am so sick of the traffic on the island as well as the amount of people that live here, it's REALLY overcrowded and it makes getting around and enjoying activities on the island very difficult.

Message edited 3/23/2017 10:24:46 AM.

Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

I don't actually live on LI, I live in NYC, but I am so surprised that you say that you aren't as welcomed as an interracial couple in GA -- my sister-in-law and her husband (and their two daughters) live outside of Atlanta and are also interracial and moved there because they thought they'd be accepted and they actually are! I'm so sad for you that you haven't had the same experience. What makes their family even more interesting is that they are being raised Jewish (their Mother's religion) but physically look more like their father, but so far, so good.

I think everyone else had great opinions on the potential move to LI. As I said, we live in the city and I'm dreading a move to the suburbs so I'm probably not the right person to give opinions on that

Message edited 3/23/2017 12:39:44 PM.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

As someone in an interracial marriage who has lived in Queens forever, I wouldn't move to Long Island. There's an undercurrent in some parts where we've been made to feel unwelcome. And unless you're on the receiving end of it, you don't always know it's there. But it is.

Cost of living is really high and also if there's a zombie apocalypse you're pretty much fcked because there's no where to go.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

I'm so sorry for what you're experiencing.

I love many parts of Long Island, close access to so much, the place where I grew up, plenty of activities.

However, I am disgusted by the level of segregation present here, and I am shocked, especially considering we live in the shadow of New York City. The discrimination present here is often coated in glib language.

In other words, many people are quick to say areas are bad and schools are bad if the areas and schools are not predominantly white--even if they know virtually nothing of substance about the areas and schools.

Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

Cost wise...it is more expensive to live on Long Island than anywhere else in NY. You will most likely get a better job here but if you need to travel to NYC via train from LI, you will find that that travel is not dependable all the time and it can be terrible as well.

Racism here is pretty much the same but i think its that way in alot of other places too. Personally, i would rather live somewhere else rather than LI but i am here because of my husband and his job. Are there other options? Can you live in another state that is in between GA and NY?

Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

Long Island is not only one the most segregated places in the country but its also one of the most expensive. Worth it...probably not.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

No. It may be good to look into moving up north in areas that surround the city though as you will find more job opportunities. Discrimination is everywhere but likely not as bad as you experienced. LI is extremely segregated and unfortunately there is a lot if unrealized racism here. I would never reccommend somnone to move to LI without family or job ties. There also tends to the sense of Stockholm syndrome among some long-term and permanent residents of LI. There is better quality of life in the 90 minutes radius of NYC that does not include LI.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

Message edited 3/23/2017 7:47:22 PM.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

" If you're use to having a nice, big, affordable house down there just realize, you won't have that here. Home prices are high as are the taxes, in some towns the taxes are literally mind boggling. "

I think for people raised in other areas they don't think of their house as either big or affordable. Its just normal. If you come to Long Island when you go look for your "normal" house from GA you'll find it costs $700K+ and has a $15K a year tax bill.
I can't comment on whether an interracial couple will do better on LI than in GA. There are a lot of accepting people but there are a lot of ugly people who really don't have a clue at how obnoxious and discriminating they are.
I do find it very ironic when people who are of various nationalities say discriminating remarks when if you go back 25, 50 or 75 years it was their group that was discriminated against.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?

I moved from the 'south' to Long Island.

I grew up military so I was used to more accepting life style. I married into an Asian family. I get the looks and the judgments and I'm only Hispanic. He lived in a predominantly black neighborhood.

NYC/Long Island is race driven. It's the only place in my whole life I was drilled to answer where my ancestry is from. My family has always been Texan. Period. But my father was Navy so we moved around a lot. California, Virginia, Cuba. But still. Where are you FROM!? Um, Texas? No your FAMILY?! Texas? NO your grandparents? um, Texas? UGH! No your ROOTS!? um, Texas? I'm an American damn it!

New York is like that.

It's crazy expensive.
It's crazy awesome
It's just crazy! haha

I loved it
I left it

I could not raise my child there. For me, the judgmental people and the way that it was all about the money was too much for me. I wanted to raise my child with her own house, yard, friends and a place she could have forever friends. Something I didn't have as a military brat. I couldn't do that in Long Island. It was entirely too expensive (but I left before the bubble burst on housing to be fair).

I came back to Texas but only because that's were a job was offered. I was willing to go to any major town outside of New York State. Raleigh, Orlando, San Fran, Virginia Beach... I still visit New York when ever I can and yes, I miss it. But I do not regret it when I think of my daughter. I loved living there as a single person and married woman. But I couldn't live there with my child. Although I hope my daughter goes to college there LOL. Odd, I know but true. I take her there often to see the sights, museums and city.

ETA: I live in San Antonio.. (militarytown, usa) we like diversity Mixed race is sort of a way of life here. If you're not mixed you aren't normal. hahaha

Message edited 3/24/2017 10:27:42 AM.

Re: Is the move from GA to LI worth it?