Is this a red flag to you?

My 13 year old was asked by a neighbor over the summer to be a mothers helper. The mom is in her early 20's and has a one year old baby. The mom has been in and out of a drug rehab a few times and even spent some time in jail. She moved back in with her parents after she had the baby. They live two houses away. The mom is supposedly changing her ways, going to school at night (which is why they needed a helper). The grandmother had shoulder surgery and can't lift the baby, so my daughter was asked to come and help.

The young mom goes to school and leaves the baby with my daughter and her mom. I was skeptical to allow her there knowing the moms history, but it had been going well and she loves having her own money to spend and it is only two houses away.

So, the mom just texted my 13 year old daughter and asked her if she can borrow $40 and she will pay her back tomorrow. I think thats really weird. Why would you ask a 13 year old for money? And she has only babysit for her one day this week and made $25, so its not like she knows she has $40 in her pocket. I told my daughter to say no, that she spent it on Christmas gifts. But I feel like a flag is going off in my head.

She has asked my daughter for $5 one time before, and she gave it to her the next day.

Am I being paranoid?

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

Um... yeah I wouldn't be comfortable with that at all. It's just really strange, and unprofessional. I know it's not a "professional" relationship in the truest sense of the word but she IS paying your daughter for a service. It just really rubs me the wrong way!

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

No, I don't think you're being paranoid. This would definitely rub me the wrong way.

Is this a red flag to you?

You're not paranoid - something's definitely off (regardless of her past situation)

If I was in need of $40, I'd ask my family or friends, not a 13 year old kid who sort-of works for me! If her family & friends won't lend it to her (or if she's not willing to ask them), then there's probably a reason, and it's probably a sketchy one.

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

Asking your 13 year old employee to borrow money is very strange, IMO. I could *maybe* see if she asked her if she could pay her late bc she needed the money, but to pay her, and then ask for it back plus some is weird. Maybe even inappropriate.

Given the mom's history, I'd be very Leary about letting your daughter continue working there.

ETA: I wonder if the grandmother knows her daughter is asking your daughter to borrow money. I'd maybe try to bring it up if you happen to run into her.

Message edited 12/18/2013 4:39:12 PM.

Is this a red flag to you?

Yes, thats what I was thinking. Either she's afraid to ask her parents or they turned her down. And if it was just for gas or something, I would think she might ask for $10!

Is this a red flag to you?

Yeah, I am definitely rethinking letting her go back.

Is this a red flag to you?

Nope not paranoid at all!!

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

It is not paranoid. I would not let my child give the $40 and I would tell the grandmother that the woman asked for the money so the family can intervene if there is a budding problem. I would also rethink allowing your DD to continue to work for the family.

Is this a red flag to you?

Totally shady. I wouldn't want my daughter near her IMO

Is this a red flag to you?

Okay, glad its not just me. Thank you. I thought I may be overanyalyzing.

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

That's very weird.

Good for your daughter for telling you, though. She obviously has a good gut instinct in deciding to talk to her mom about it.

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

Is this a red flag to you?

Yes, red flag. Why wouldn't she ask her parents? I wouldn't want my child involved with any of that

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

Yeah, she's got a good head on her shoulders.

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

Is this a red flag to you?

WHAT?! So weird... I feel bad that this woman needs to ask a 13yr old to borrow money. On the other hand... I wouldn't let my daughter babysit at that home moving forward.

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

This woman sounds like a factory that only makes red flags

Is this a red flag to you?

I would RUN, RUN, RUN And keep your daughter away.

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

$40 for one night to me screams of "I need drug money."

It might be wise to have your daughter stop helping her out, say school is becoming very busy.

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

Re: Is this a red flag to you?

Is this a red flag to you?

Definitely a HUGE red flag! Something is up.