Issue with my sister.....sorry so long.

I do not post often. I have never even really introduced myself. I am just having some major issues with my sister. First off....she has NO job, no husband, three kids and she lives off the government. She had a job recently that she quit because she simply interviewed for another job that she did not end up getting. The last time me and my husband went home my mom and I were going shopping, I heard there was a sale and I wanted to buy my kids some clothes for school. We ended up going and picking up my two nieces and my mom spent like 300 dollars on summer clothes for them, which she really does not have (I told her to go buy them things at good will). Now that back to school is coming around my mom knows she is going to have to buy them school clothes, for three kids that is alot of $$$. She has told me how this causes so much stress for her and how she wishes she could do that for my kids, her and my dad have a little money, but are not rich by any means. I don't need her help, my husband and I both work and make pretty good money, but she just really feels like my sister is a huge burden, she tells me this all the time. I, on the other hand, am furious that my sister would deliberately quit her job knowing her kids need things, knowing my mom is going to have to be the one to buy for them. I called her today, her kids are gone and I was calling to see how she was doing and she has not even attempted to find a job while they have been away for three weeks. She has no education, but could get a job at any store, fast food, anything to provide for her kids, but instead she has sat around with her loser boyfriend (really, he is a junkie) and done nothing. I am so mad at her, should I say something to her? I really just want to call her back and tell her off. She just puts her needs before her kids, she only thinks of herself. While they are in dirty clothes, because she is too lazy to do laundry, she has all new clothes, has nice things. I am furious at her for being such a lame mother. What should I do? My mom has just about had it and she does not know what to do. I feel like everytime I talk to her we end up talking about my sister and what a burden she is. I just tell my mom then don't buy them clothes anymore. I know she feels bad but come on, my sister is not doing anything to help herself let alone her kids.

Re: Issue with my sister.....sorry so long.

WOW that really stinks.
Unfortunately I don't think there is much you can do. Your mom needs to be the one to put a stop to supporting her. Until she does that, your sister sounds like she will take whatever she can from your parents, while being supported by the government

I'm sorry...I know it's frustrating

Re: Issue with my sister.....sorry so long.

I understand your feelings but who is ultimately going to be hurt and affected by you and your mother cutting her off? The children! They are the innocents here and they are the one's who need the most help in this situation. Instead of looking for an opportunity to vent at your sister, I would seriously be considering calling CPS on her. ESPECIALLY if she's hanging out with a junkie and could possibly be exposing those children to a dangerous element. I feel so bad for those children since it seems like everyone around them looks on them like a burden

Re: Issue with my sister.....sorry so long.

I totally agree. I really feel bad for her kids. They are 15, 13, and 7. Granted they are the innocent ones here, but when I call to talk to my mom I want to talk, and I feel so bad because I know it bugs her too. We are all in a bad place, no matter what I do someone gets hurt. I just really want what is best for my nieces and nephew.

Re: Issue with my sister.....sorry so long.

Re: Issue with my sister.....sorry so long.

ITA....I have talked to my mom and her about how it affects everybody involved. My sister got mad, my mom talked to her and told her unless she gets a job then she won't be able to help anymore. I know she bought them school stuff and some winter coats, but she said that my sister is going to have to start supporting her own family. I just think that my sister should not be so lazy and take care of her own matters.

Re: Issue with my sister.....sorry so long.

Message edited 11/11/2011 5:11:57 PM.

Re: Issue with my sister.....sorry so long.

Until your mom stops supporting her, there is nothing you can do. I know that as a mother, denying your kids anything is close to impossible, but she needs to realize that your mom is not a cash machine. Your sister needs to grow up & be a woman. She has kids to support and until she wants to help herself, there is no helping her. This is something she has to learn on her own.

I really feel bad because in the end, its the kids that suffer the most. Especially the fact that she has a junkie for a boyfriend, she is in a horrible situaton. If CPS finds this out, she will be in deep $hit.