IVF Diary-UPDATED Wednesday-New beta

I figured I was going to keep one both for myself and to help anyone else doing it.




Day 1: Went for CD 3 bloodwork and sono(I was never on BCP because my natural cycle coincided with my clinic's cycle.) They called me and told me to take Gonal-F and 2 powders of Menopur. Just for tonight you take them together. Only issue is we didn't write down the dosage so my DH thought it was 300-thats what I took. We confirmed today that was right.

Overall I have been very happy with my clinic(RMANY) My Dr is Dr. Ruman and she is very nice and knows her stuff. I did see Dr. Flisser for the CD 3 sono which was weird because he is sort of young and slightly attractive..but as we IF'ers know modesty goes out the window!

Day 2: Took my Gonal this morning. Didn't have it a perfect 90 degree angle and it hurt so I moved it and it didn't hurt at all. I do have a slight headache and a strange taste in my mouth-not sure if it's related.

Day 3: Well got a call from Dr. R. FSH was 14!! Last cycle(non ivf break cycle it was 10) We are still going ahead as planned. I was a little down, but I also have hope and am trying to stay positive. Took my menopur last night and that went fine-I find the needle a bit hard to get in-but I have been shooting myself with Lovenox on and off for a year so maybe I have some tough spots Not sure. So far the shots have been easy and no side effects except for headache(which DH and I figured is probably due to no caffeine)

Karacg recommended these visulaization CD's from Anjionline I have been finding it really helpful and almost feel like I am asleep when I am done. I have been listening to them in the late afternoon and before bed.

I go tomorrow for my first sono to see how things are developing. I am hoping so hard that this works for us.

ETA: I also found out that I am no longer immune to measles(rubiola)I am still immune to German measles(rubella) She said it is not a huge deal but to stay away if anyone has them if I am PG after this cycle.

I am trying to use natural techniques to help me as well as the meds. Here is a great link-it's long but worth the read:

Link



I'll update tomorrow after sono(we need a crossing fingers icon)

Day 4: I have a couple of complaints. First-who knew it was pitch black outside at 6:00AM? Ok and second-I did not get a sono-just bloodwork-so this was my morning. Got up at 5:30, left the house at 6. Got to the city at 7:20 waited until 8 in the waiting room with about 30 other people. Got called, went into the lab, had my blood taken, phlebotomist said OK thats it you are just getting blood today....I was pizzed-all that to take some blood???
I am getting results between 2-5 so I'll update then. Still have a low grade headache. Trying not to eat white carbs which is HARD! It's DH's birthday Friday so I will probably have a glass of wine but other than that I have not drunk any alcohol. I can't wait for retreval!

OK my DH got the call since I was on a business call(we both work at home) and of course didn't ask for numbers.


They said stay on the same meds and come in Saturday so I guess I am responding OK or they wouldn't have told me to stay on the same meds???

He's lucky I am in a good mood today and didn't freak on him

My mood has been OK actually-I find myself getting more mad at TV than anyone in my life-I guess I feel more down in the dumps than angry. But get me in front of Beauty and the Geek or American Idol and I get enraged! I got so pizzed at some of the "beauties" on there I actually had to go to bed the other night. They should be called dumbazzes

Small Day 4 evening update: went to acupuncture with a new acu at the same practice(LI Holistic) I LOVED her but she is only there Thursday and Saturday evenings so I will see Andrea(who I also love-she is just a bit more quiet) Tues and Lisette Thurs. I think my retrieval may be next week...we'll see what they say on Sat.

She said I have some spleen stagnation(traditional chinese medicine term) and I should not eat a lot of dairy. She also advised me to eat green and orange foods(squash, carrots, etc) and also to eat my meals at the same time each day, which I never do. She also recommended that I do some hypnosis. She gave me this recommendation:

Hypnofertility-click on services and then fertility

"See" you all tomorrow-if anyone else is cycling and wants to share feel free to hijack

Day 5: Not much to report. I have been feeling more in my pelvic area-not necessarily cramps or pain just more of an awareness something is going on in there. My husband's birthday is tonight. We are going out with friends so I am going to treat myself to a nice glass of red zin or a red blend.

I looked into the hypnosis and it is $250 for the 1st session and $150 for each additional and you need at least 3. I think I will skip that and go with ghetto hypno via the CD's mentioned above

As far as symptoms-I have been having some f'ed up dreams. Super vivid and LONG. I am not a dreamer usually-well I guess everyone dreams but I usually don't remember mine. I have another city appointment tomorrow so I will update then.

ETA: Just had a major freak out. I took my dogs for a quick ride to Walgreens to get some stuff(no I did not bring them in the store ) I am driving along thinking: all of a sudden I realize-Gonal F was supposed to be refrigerated. OMG I have it stored in there but since it is a multi use pen I take out what I need and then keep the box at room temp. OMG I am freaking! Actually shaking all the way home, run to my box of meds, look at the package: after opening product may be kept up to 77 degrees for up to one month Saved me a heart attack today! All is right with the world again


Day 6: Sorry I didn't update-I had guests in town yesterday and we were running all over the place. I went for sono and bloodwork. I had another Doc that I really liked he had a long name and I believe he was Persian or Indian? Not sure but very friendly and warm. I have liked all the docs there a lot and if anyone knows me, I can be very tough on Dr's!

So on my sono I have somewhere around 8 follies-4 on each side. All around 9-11 mm. Not awesome-but not horrible. He seemed very satisfied and said things were "looking good." I did not get the call from the nurse but she left a message saying that I should continue on the same meds. No numbers. I did, however, find out my numbers from Thursday estradiol was 138(day 4 of stims) I have read anything over 100 or double your day 3 fsh(58) is good so I am happy with that. My husband thinks I should be on a low information diet right now but that is just not me!

Day 7(small update) I am definitely feeling things going on down there. My belly is firmer(where before it was just soft fluff ) and I am having some slight cramping sort of like what I would get on Clomid at about day 11(I am on day 10 in my natural cycle-started meds of day 3) so I have a feeling they will be adding my ganirelix tomorrow after my appointment and trigger one or two days after...not sure what the timeline is. I will keep you all updated.

ETA: I said I was having some vivid dreams. Here is a brief synopsis of last night:

Dream #1 I had warts all over my hands
Dream #2: I was with my DH leaving from somewhere. My stepmother pulled up and insisted i drive with her. We leave. We end up on this road and there are stray dogs everywhere-big small, Great Danes, Greyhounds, Mini Poodles-you name it. We avoid hitting them and everyone on the road is driving really slow. We pull over and ask someone what is going on. No one knows. I call my DH and say where are you, he says the military has me! I start freaking out. We turn around. We are stopped by the military with guns in our faces saying Out of the Car! Now! Somehow I am driving now and they send a K-9 dog into my car(this may have come from yesterday I was at the mall with SIL and MIL and there were cops and K-9 units everywhere because of a protest) I say, does he bite? The military guy says no. Then I wake up. Bizarre!

Interesting link to IF online Magazine-this is about IVF and how it correlates to implantation

Day 8: Went for bloodwork and sono today. I got Saturday's numbers: Estradiol 297(I read that they should increase by 50-100% every two days-so that is more than 100) I was happy with that. Went in today and saw Dr Flisser again He saw 5-6 follies, one at 19!! He thinks they will start me on Ganirelix tonight(so I don't ovulate) Trigger tomorrow, retrieve on Thurs and transfer on Sun or Tues depending on how they look. So moving right along. Feeling pretty good, not many side effects. I think I felt that way because i never took Lupron.

Not sure if I mentioned it before but my Dr wanted me to do assisted hatching. We were really stressed about it because we spent ALL our money in the past year trying to get pregnant. Well Dr. Ruman just called and volunteered that they would donate the assisted hatching to us. NO CHARGE!!!!!!!! That is a break of $2500. OMG I almost started crying. I love her!!! My husbands morph was kind of borderline at 4% and we are going to do ICSI at the embryologists discretion so my wonderful family is helping me with that if need be. I am so frickin happy right now.

Day 9: FINALLY saw my Dr again(have seen others since Day 1.) She saw 4 follies on the left-3 around 18 and 1 at 15 and 2 on the right both around 17. She also sees some smaller-around 11(3 or 4 of those) I am on the antagonist protocol which means they are giving me ganirelix right now to stop me from ovulating on my own. She said she may want to try and float me on more day to see if the little ones catch up, she will look at my bloodwork and they will call me later with instructions. So I may be triggering tonight or tomorrow. I'll update after my call.

I am also filing taxes today and hopefully will get a big check because of the 20K I spent last year on medical expenses!

Small evening update Day 9: Well not getting much back on taxes even with all the medical expenses-I make too much...now that HAS to be a joke

I got my call and they are floating me one more day with genirelix. So trigger probably tomorrow, retrieval Friday and transfer Mon or Wed depending on how they do.

Day 10: OK saw Dr Flisser AGAIN today. Dumazz me was rushing around this morning with my dogs following me everywhere under my feet and I forgot to take my Gonal Dr F said it was no big deal just take it when I get home. Anyway, I have 6 likely candidates and he thinks i will trigger tonight Thats about all I have for now. I'll update later if anything changes. Thanks for all the support!

OK Trigger at 10PM!!!! Retrieval on Friday at 10 AM. OMG I can't believe we have only about a week left of this

Day 11: Basically status quo over here. We need to be in the city at 9 tomorrow for a 10AM retireval. Last time I got put under(emergency ectopic surgery) I was a blubbering mess. I think that was because they wanted tp put a breathing tube down my throat which scared me, whic I don't believe they do tomorrow. I am actually not nervous now at all. I have a sense of peace and calm. I think you are all helping me.

Cute story about the trigger-FYI I hardly felt it at all. My DH was really nervous about giving me the shots. He hates needles and was basically horrified at the thought of stabbing me with one. Well he did it like a champ. We were laughing afterwards aout how easy it was(aftyer we gave each other a high five-that is our corny joke ) Will update tomorrow. My friend Steph(TwinMama) said she felt fine afterwards. She is pretty hardcore though so we'll see!

Day 12-Retrieval Day 4/4/08-First I like the date. It seems lucky 4+4=8.

Anyway, had the ER this morning. Went in got dressed in my lovely gown socks and hair bonnet Dr Cutrone did my anasthesia-what a nice woman. My Dr was there today so she did my retieval. They got 9...not too shabby. I'll get a call tomorrow to let me know the status. I do have a little pain. Cramps a bit worse than a period. I am going to nap now so I will update over the weekend.

Day 13: Fertlization report. We got 5 embies fertilized!!! I can use all the parayers, hopes and wishes you have that my babies make it until Mon(preferably Wed for a 5 day transfer) Thanks you all again for ALL your support!!!

As far as how I'm feeling. I took all the wonderful advice I received and drank about 64 L of water last night. I was up every two hours to pee but I feel SO much better now. My stomach has shrunk down to slightly plump instead of "drank a twelve pack." Will try to update tomorrow, or Mon if nothing happens tomorrow.

Monday: They just called me and are doing my transfer today at 1 PM. I am in Poughkeepsie(90 miles from NYC) I am leaving now. Wish me luck!!!!!

Monday Night Update:
What a day! I sped from Poughkeepsie to NYC, was late! Then I get to the area and pull behind a guy to go to a garage and they let him in and then tell me its full. Ughhhhhh. BUT everything worked out. They transferred 2: One 7 cell and One 9 cell. Dr. M said they were excellent quality with minimal fragmentation. I also just read this online:

The rate of cleavage (cell division) is an important predictor of an embryo’s developmental potential. Evidence indicates that early cleavage, embryos with four cells on day 2, and embryos with seven to nine cells on day 3 result in higher implantation rates and establish more pregnancies than those with fewer or more cells at those time-points. Based on this, we preferentially replace seven to nine cell embryos on day 3 and consider others for cryopreservation if they meet additional quality standards.

Two of our others are going to be pushed to Day 5 for freezing. The other one of the 5 original arrested.

OK now starts the craziness! Thank you all for your good wishes and support. You guys are the BEST!!!! Oh and I gave myself my progesterone shot tonight which was fun

Tuesday Update: Feeling good. A slight bit crampy which I have felt since one day after retireval-still peeing a lot.

Let me preface this by saying I am not religious but I saw this bible verse somewhere else and I like it. And hey, God is equal opportunity isn't he/she?



If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. (Matthew 17:20)

So today I am thinking about moving embies right into my uterine lining. Hopefully they listen!

Wednesday: Well not much going on here. My uterus definitely feels "different" than usual, but I'm sure that could be due to a million things. I am moody and emotional I guess from the progesterone. Been reading a lot and doing a lot of research. Thats about it. Sorry so boring!

Thursday: Again-not much going on here. Pretty hungry and peeing a lot(that may just be leftover fluid though) I have acupuncture today.Tomorrow is my progesterone test. I have beewn reading quotes cause thats just what I do. Here's one that I liked:

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.

Friday: Again not too much going on. I am still waking up every two hours at night to pee-only at night it seems So like 2 am, 4 am, 7am and then peed when I got up at 8:30. I am NOT drinking that much. I had a 16 oz sparkling water at my friends lasty night and that was really it. Maybe its a sign to me! Yeah I'm going a little crazy.

So had my progesterone test this morning. I won't get my results until after 3 probably. I'm sure it's fine since I've been(or my DH) has been shooting progesterone in my azz like it's our job

Got a couple of really sharp cramps yesterday so who knows. I am hoping for the best. I am inserting a quote that I LOVE about all that is good. I have a real affinity for Native American folklore and wisdom. Although it may seem unrelated to what I am going through I think we, as women, are ALL connected to the Earth. The ocean and the moon help to dictate our monthly cycles:

The beauty of the trees,
the softness of the air,
the fragrance of the grass,
speaks to me.

The summit of the mountain,
the thunder of the sky,
the rhythm of the sea,
speaks to me.

The strength of the fire,
the taste of salmon,
the trail of the sun,
and the life that never goes away,
they speak to me.
And my heart soars."

Chief Dan George


And here's my quote for the day about hope and faith in yourself:

Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is still dark.
- Scandinavian Saying

Have a great weekend! I am home testing starting Monday cause I'm crazy like that so I'll keep you updated


Saturday: Just a quick quote-I am freaking out a little today-I don't "feel" pregnant. IRL ythough I am only 8 dpo. Talk me down! So this is my quote for today:

"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise." Oscar Wilde

Oh yeah and I tested today BFN

Oh and a shout out to my sister Stephanief and Sweet Caroline for placing me in their avatar titles! Every little bit helps!

Monday Update 7dp3dt: Well let me know if you










see what I see:





Monday Night: I just had to come on and say thank you, thank you, thank you! The outpouring of love and support I have received has been beyond measure. It is amazing so many people both those I have had contact with(via FM, phone etc.) and those I have not have gone out of their way to say congratulations.

For those that asked, my beta is Friday and I will definitely update you all then. I realize all the bad that can happen and right now am just hoping that this is it for us. It has been a long and hard road and I wouldn't have gotten through this without my friends here and IRL as well as my family. For anyone who doesn't know my story this is my 5th pregnancy and my first baby(hopefully) I have suffered pregnancy loss, ectopic pregnancy and the removal of my right tube and spent nearly $30,000 to get here and it will ALL BE WORTH IT if this works out for us. Please keep praying for us and sending all your positive thoughts our way. Thank you SO MUCH!!!!

And in honor of my awesome DH who very literally without, this never would have happened:

"I get by with a little help from my friends."
- John Lennon

John Lennon is quiite possibly his favorite artist. Thank you ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday Update: First I don't know if I should stop updating now. If this is offending anyone can you please FM me and let me know?

I had a freak out this morning at 7 when I woke up and took my 2nd FRER just to make sure it was darker and at first it really wasn't! Then I got back into bed and my bbs felt not as sore. Still sore but not AS sore(yes I AM crazy)

Then when I got up around 8:30 and looked at my test again compared to yesterday it certainly was darker. I don't know how I am going to make it until Friday! From my calculations(slipping into Erkel glasses and nerdy voice) my beta should be at least 100(FRER measures 25, W should be 50, F should be 100) so lets all hope that works. And my quote for the day is:

To sit patiently with a yearning that has not yet been fulfilled, and to trust that, that fulfillment will come, is quite possibly one of the most powerful "magic skills" that human beings are capable of. It has been noted by almost every ancient wisdom tradition.

Elizabeth Gilbert

Wednesday: I e-mailed my Dr yesterday to tell her I had gotten two positives and asked to come in for an early beta. She said today would be the first day teh numbers would be reliable so today it is. I will probably go back Friday to get another. Wish me luck(for the 49,00th time Today's quote is more of a fable I guess you would call it. I got this from Ladies Home Journal of all places and yes I am 80


One evening a Cherokee Elder told his Grandson about the battle that goes on in people's heads. He said, "My son, the battles is between the two 'wolves' that live inside of us all. "

One is Unhappiness. It is fear, worry, anger jealousy, sorrow, self-pity, resentment and inferiority. The other is Happiness. It is joy, love, hope, serenity, kindness, generosity, truth and compassion.

The Grandson asked, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

So from now on, I am going to try to only feed the happy wolf!

BETA:






Drumroll Please





115!!!!!!!!(9dp3dt or 12 dpo)

Sorry it took me so long to update I was driving home from CT. I am sitting in the Eckerd parking lot on my wireless right now. Have a great night!

Wednesday Update: Not much going on here. I have acupuncture today. Then I am going to Sherrys Natural Gourmet, although I read in one of my pregnancy books last night that hair dye now is supposed to be OK, I just don't believe it. So I am going to try some organic hair dye-this should be an adventure, but my hair looks horrible. Will update tomorrow after my next beta.

Saturday: Just a quick update. Not much going on here except I almost just had a heart attack. I dyed my hair with this natural hair dye i found at Sherry's Healthy Gourmet in Babylon(great store!) It is a bit redder than I usually go. Anyway, I just took a shower and was laying on my white towel in bed with my DH. Then I got up, went into the bathroom and took my towel and say spots of red on it. I immediately thought I was bleeding and freaked out. Wiped iwth TP and nothing there. Then I figured out what it was. Now we are headed out east to go to a couple of farmstands and dinner at Jedadiah Hawkins. Hopefully I can relax a bit!
PS thanks to my sister for posting my beta results.

Tuesday Update: Well my Dr called this morning and asked me to come in Tues instead of Mon fro my 1st sono. I told her "You're killin me." But I would like to see my Dr so I am going to do it.

I am doing great feeling great-My bbs get sorer every night. I almost killed myself this morning running to the door for Fedex-which was a knock and run anyway-why do they do that? I smashed my boob on the door and saw stars!I had to fly to Atlanta for the day yesterday which went well and i was a little nervous about. Thats about it. No news is good news right!

Wednesday 4/23 Went to the Dr today because yesterday I called my immune Dr and told her I was pregnant and that I was using Lovenox but having crazy bruising. They asked me to stop the Lovenox and go to My Dr to get some blood drawn. So went to the office. They were all confused-no nurse was there so Dr. Flisser had to draw my blood. Poor guy had to stick me about 3 times and 2 times my vein clotted and he had to switch. It was a nightmare-surprisingly I don't have bad bruises. Anyway-he took all the blood I needed and I UPS'ed it to Chicago.

They did a beta and progesterone-my beta was good at 1736(doubling time of 1.9 days) and progesterone is holding steady above 40. So everything is looking good. I will update again next Tuesday after my sono

Message edited 4/23/2008 4:22:03 PM.

Re: IVF Diary

Hmm...not bad as far as RE's go...

Re: IVF Diary

Great idea, Melissa!

Lauren, you crack me up! I would feel kinda weird too.

Re: IVF Diary

I found keeping an IVF diary to be very helpful and theraputic for me.

I also had a headache for the first few says on Gonal. It can be one of the side effects.

Message edited 3/25/2008 10:41:44 AM.

Re: IVF Diary

Just saw Dr. Flisser yesterday morning. And OMG that is the absolute worst picture. He is actually cuter in person LOL.

Good luck Melissa!

Re: IVF Diary

good luck Melissa! hopefully the menopur has lots of BFP dust!!!

Re: IVF Diary

I go to the same place. I actually saw your doctor today. Who is pregnant! That must be a good sign. Maybe she can pass over some good vibes. Dr. Flisser is really nice, but really quiet. I like all the doctors at RMA of NY. I must have seen them all by now.

G/L on your cycle.

Looks like my cycle is speading up all the sudden. It's only 6 days of stims and I think I'm doing trigger tomorrow night and retrieval on Friday. Wasn't ready yet, but I guess here I go. gotta figure out how I'm going to do the POI shot next...yikes!

Re: IVF Diary

I remember when i took the gonal - the doctor told me you could get a metalic taste in your mouth..so i think that does have something to do with it.

Re: IVF Diary

Re: IVF Diary

good luck mel, I think this is a great idea, the IVF journal

Message edited 3/25/2008 2:14:50 PM.

Re: IVF Diary

good luck! I just started journaling myself. I actually read somewhere it is good for your health to do it!

Re: IVF Diary

THis is great!! Thanks and good luck!!

Re: IVF Diary

Good Luck!! I think journaling is a great way to get out all the feelings that go along w/ this process! I'm praying for you!

Re: IVF Diary-updated Wed. 3-26

Re: IVF Diary-updated Wed. 3-26

please let me know how the sono goes.

Re: IVF Diary-updated Wed. 3-26

Posted by melijane

Posted by Carolyn

Just saw Dr. Flisser yesterday morning. And OMG that is the absolute worst picture. He is actually cuter in person LOL.

Good luck Melissa!

Carolyn-you are SO right. That is an awful pic

Re: IVF Diary-updated Wed. 3-26

Sending you so much I love reading your journal. It will be a good keepsake to have. Reading it makes me want to start my ivf cycle now (well if this iui doesn't work).

Re: IVF Diary-updated Wed. 3-26

bump for small update

Re: IVF Diary-updated Wed. 3-26

I was there at the same time this morning too. I took the Hampton Jitney in. I got up at 4:15am this morning. Why does
Garden City have to be closed on Thurdays. I got to the office around 7:35am and I was out of there at 8:15am. I couldn't believe how crowded the office was and how they managed to get me out that fast. it was good to see my doctor for the 3rd time in 4 months. My fault for monitoring in GC of course.

I cannot believe they did blood with no sono. That only happend the month I started BCP's. It's early in your cycle, I guess that is why.

meanwhile I'm still on hold. Looks like Saturday will be the ER. Not tomorrow as had originally thought. Though I have not gotten my blood work back yet, who knows.

Message edited 3/27/2008 11:51:49 AM.

Re: IVF Diary-updated Wed. 3-26

Lots of
Thinking of you Melissa

Re: IVF Diary-updated Wed. 3-26

Re: IVF Diary-updated Thurs 3-27

I love reading your updates.

Yes, you are responding fine if they didn't up your meds. When I went in for my first monitoring, they upped my meds that night. I had been taking 3 vials of menopur and they upped it to 6!

I never found out what my numbers where with my 2nd cycle. At LI IVF, you just call in and get a recorded message so no live person to get info from. It was good and bad. Good because it was less to freak out about but bad because I like know everything that is going on with me.

Re: IVF Diary-updated Thurs 3-27

Posted by myson220

I love reading your updates.

Yes, you are responding fine if they didn't up your meds. When I went in for my first monitoring, they upped my meds that night. I had been taking 3 vials of menopur and they upped it to 6!

I never found out what my numbers where with my 2nd cycle. At LI IVF, you just call in and get a recorded message so no live person to get info from. It was good and bad. Good because it was less to freak out about but bad because I like know everything that is going on with me.

Re: IVF Diary-updated Friday 3-28

Bump for day 5 update

Re: IVF Diary-updated Friday 3-28

Girl, vivid dreams were my very first pregnancy symptom with my daughter. Quickly after that, I started waking up with night sweats.