Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

I'm prefacing this with my thoughts on this are kind of all over the place so I apologize in advance if this post seems like I'm rambling!!


With all this talk of Jon & Kate filing for divorce I was wondering a few things...

Do you think unbeknownst to their audience, they did try to salvage their marriage?

Obviously, we're only getting part of the story so do you think they may have already tried going to couseling?

Also, do you think it's possible that they've been separated for awhile which is why we're seeing them with other people?

I'm thinking they knew it was coming down to this and I don't believe their marriage fell apart as quick as the show depicts.

So it could be that what we're seeing now in the news about them being with other people isn't really as shocking as some might think b/c they've actually been separated for much longer than the public suspects.

I was also wondering if the trip to HI to renew their vows was more of a "last ditch effort" to possibly save their marriage than to reaffirm their committment to each other.

Thoughts?

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

Maybe they tried harder than it seems on the show, but if they were going to counseling wouldn't the tabloids have reported it? We know when Jon goes to Kinkos, when Kate goes tanning. I would think if they were going to a counselor, someone besides them would know about it.

I do think the vow renewal probably happened because they were already in trouble, since they said they wanted to show their kids that they would always be there and never leave. A vow renewal at 9 years seems odd to me. Why not wait until 10 years - which is more of a milestone year.

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

kate mentioned that Jon hadn't spoken to her for a long time. He ignored her. I don't think he wanted to work on their marriage.

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

I agree that they already tried a trial seperation which has led up to the divorce.

I don't think that they tried counseling. I think they would have said that. I'm shocked that they didn't since they are such "belivers"

It seems as if Jon has made up his mind. Kate claims that she tries speaking to him about issues and he won't talk to her.

I think that this all stems from going on with the show. Yes she belittles him and stuff but, that's not what broke down their marriage. Kate should have agreed to take a year off of the show. I think that really sent Jon over the edge that she insisted on going on with the series.

Whatever the case, I feel bad for everyone involved.

On another note: what's up with Jon's earrings?

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

I don't watch the show but I would think they tried to save their marriage - much more than is depicted on the show.

While I think stepping back from the cameras would have helped more, I'm not sure how Jon thinks they'd support a family of 10.

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

Posted by LauBear

Posted by KimberlyScott

I agree that they already tried a trial seperation which has led up to the divorce.

I don't think that they tried counseling. I think they would have said that. I'm shocked that they didn't since they are such "belivers"

It seems as if Jon has made up his mind. Kate claims that she tries speaking to him about issues and he won't talk to her.

I think that this all stems from going on with the show. Yes she belittles him and stuff but, that's not what broke down their marriage. Kate should have agreed to take a year off of the show. I think that really sent Jon over the edge that she insisted on going on with the series.

Whatever the case, I feel bad for everyone involved.

On another note: what's up with Jon's earrings?

I agree-I think if they tried counseling we would have heard about it; and I too am surprised they didn't considering how faithful they claim to be. It seems odd to not even try. I am pretty sure (although I could be remembering this incorrectly) that in an interview in an earlier season when they were discussing their marriage they had said divorce was not an option for them, I believe because of their faith. While I do understand that they did not plan on all of this happening years ago, I am still shocked that they would come to that decision without putting more effort into saving their marriage.

I also think they could have used time off the show. The stress of the show had really taken it's toll on their relationship. They should never have signed on for another season without working out their problems first.

on the earrings. Jon is obviously trying to turn his whole life around, appearance included, so that he can return to his 20s since it is obvious that he feels that he missed out on a lot!

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

I wouldn't even want to speculate on this. all that's obvious is that they both feel they've past a point of no return. how hard they worked before getting to that point is for their own conscience to decide I think.

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

It doesn't come across on the show that they really tried that hard, since they rarely seem to be in the same place at the same time, but we don't know what really goes on.

From what we do know of the situation, it does remind me a lot of a friend of mine, who's husband left her at age 30, after 7 years of marriage & 3 kids & claimed he never wanted that life, he just did what she wanted & now he is speaking up for himself.


I know that in that case, the wife doesn't believe in divorce, for religious reasons, and wanted to try counseling, but he wanted no part of it it--he just left.

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

If they did, I don't think they tried hard enough.

(And yes, this is me being judgemental )

The whole episode last night made me so sad. When they kept saying they'll do everything for their kids, I just kept wishing they'd try harder for the sake of their kids. I know it's easy for me to say since I'm not them, but it's not like they're keeping their relationship issues a secret - Kate was verbally abusive, Jon was angry, Kate was physically absent, Jon (probably) had an affair, things were difficult, they stopped communicating, and then they gave up.

Go to counseling, either together or alone, see a pastor, go to a marriage workshop, take a vacation just the two of you, quit the stupid show and spend some private time as a family, try EVERYTHING - and even if they ultimately did still decide to split after that, they'd at least be setting the valuable example for those kids that they were willing to fight for their family.

And Kate would have us believe via her statements and interviews that Jon is the one who gave up and that's not what she wanted - and he WAS clearly the one who "checked out" first - but in the end, SHE filed the divorce papers mere days after announcing their initial separation. We know that Jon wasn't willing to give 100%, but I don't believe that Kate was either.

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

I think that if they were in some kind of counseling, they would have mentioned it. At least in passing, not in detail.

I think that Jon thinks divorce is his ticket to the bachelor life.

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

A part of me still believes this is a publicity stunt.

Jon was never much of a worker, from what I read. This is a great way for them to make $$ for their kids. Jon doesn't want to be on the show anymore, Kate loves the spotlight, so they cook up this plan.

I can't see them renewing their vows last year to this - being such avid churchgoers - to being divorced without even trying. Either something major happened which we don't know about, or this is all cooked up.

Think about it - 3 years ago they were the only show on TV about large family w/multilples. Now there are 3? others?

Their ratings were going in the toilet just as they had their new house built (haven't sold the old one either) - and the kids are entering school which means less filming time. Now they are the only show about multiples with a single parent - brilliant!

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

If you watch the earlier episodes you can see a HUGE difference in their relationship and how they speak to each other.

I think it's been declining for a while (which she said in last night's episode).

I would imagine there are alot of couples married for 10 years that can look back and say "that was a tough year for us."

So, I hope that it was longer than 1 year and that they did try therapy and everything in their power.

I really dont understand renewing your vows and telling your children you will be together forever & then 7 months later calling it quits
Why give the children false hope ?

Message edited 6/23/2009 2:18:01 PM.

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

Posted by sleepie76

I really dont understand renewing your vows and telling your children you will be together forever & then 7 months later calling it quits
Why give the children false hope ?

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

Posted by sleepie76

If you watch the earlier episodes you can see a HUGE difference in their relationship and how they speak to each other.

I think it's been declining for a while (which she said in last night's episode).

I would imagine there are alot of couples married for 10 years that can look back and say "that was a tough year for us."

So, I hope that it was longer than 1 year and that they did try therapy and everything in their power.

I really dont understand renewing your vows and telling your children you will be together forever & then 7 months later calling it quits
Why give the children false hope ?

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

from what i heard no

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

Re: Jon & Kate Spinoff Question: Do you think on any level they tried to save their marriage?

At the end of the day this is still two people who have decided to divorce and a family going through it in a very public manner.

Being on camera I'm sure they have acted differently even though it's supposed to be reality TV. Perhaps if there wasn't a camera Jon would have been more assertive earlier on when it would have been more beneficial and they stood a better chance at saving the marriage.

I've only started watching the show recently. My parents are still happily married as are my DHs. Honestly, It's heart breaking to me to see these people talk about seperation and struggle not to say the 'D' word.

Both are commited to their children and have very different ideas on how to go about their daily lives. Both have their faults as well as their positives.

Personally I can't pass judgement on this situation just as I can't on any relationship I'm not in. Clearly, neither of them are happy. But I do feel as if we all have this one life to live and deserve to be happy.