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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
Name:
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Just kind of a vent..
I've been pretty good about not letting myself get into moods this pregnancy, but I'm kinda in one today because my BF annoyed me last night. I'm not really mad, just kind of annoyed. He has a friend visiting from his hometown. It's a girl that he's been friends with for about 10 years. In the very beginning, they hooked up or briefly dated, but since then it's been purely platonic. So, she comes to visit us yesterday from Colorado and is spending the weekend with us. I've only met her once before, and she seems very nice. She brought some beautiful presents for our DD, which I am very grateful for. But, at the end of opening them up, my darling BF turns to her and says, "hey, you should be our daughter's Godmother!" I was like  Isn't this something we discuss FIRST!!! I felt so put on the spot...he had never ever mentioned this before. I know he didn't plan it this way, and it literally was just an idea that popped into his head, but come on....you hold that back and raise it with ME in PRIVATE later. Not to mention, we had decided we aren't going to baptize DD, and hadn't even finalized whether or not we were going to have godparents at all. If we do, I have no guy friends or brothers that could be a godfather, but I do have some girlfriends that I would consider as godmother. Now I feel so on the spot and like we have to make her a godmother because she was so honored and excited. ugh.
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Posted 8/14/08 1:48 PM  |
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MrsG41307
LIF Adult
Member since 11/07 936 total posts
Name:
Dyanne
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
I wish we could knock your BF over the head..LOL...That is something that both of you should discuss...and what he did wasn't very nice...even if he didn't mean it..that said..speak to BF tonight and explain to him that you still haven't decided who you would like to have as a godmother yet...and let him explain that to his best friend...
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| Posted 8/14/08 1:51 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
OMG. I cannot imagine what I would do if DH did that. It is a huge decision & you need to be comfortable with it. 
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| Posted 8/14/08 1:51 PM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
W T F was he thinking?!?  
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| Posted 8/14/08 3:12 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
Posted by 1stimemom
W T F was he thinking?!?
my thoughts exactly!!!!
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| Posted 8/14/08 3:17 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
That's so not right to put you on the spot like that.
I would not do it, even if she was excited or her feelings get hurt, if she is not who you would choose.
A godparent is for life, and you want to make the right choice.
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| Posted 8/14/08 3:21 PM |
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babyonthebrain
Brotherly Love!
Member since 1/08 6209 total posts
Name:
Rafaela
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
I would be annoyed too. You need to sit down with him and explain howyou feel. Maybe tell him you already had someone in mind and what he did was very awkward for you. You barely know this girl!!!! UGHHH you poor thing!!!
XOXOXO
BOTB
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| Posted 8/14/08 4:36 PM |
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DmarieK
My loves!!
Member since 1/06 9203 total posts
Name:
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
OMG...*** was he thinking. I would be beyond P*SSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 8/14/08 4:40 PM |
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trish71407
LIF Adult
Member since 11/06 1206 total posts
Name:
Trish
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
I would have been so ******! WHat was he thinking??
I would have said something like "well we haven't discussed that yet and we haven't even thought about the baptism yet. I would like to get through the childbirth first!" LOL
You should not feel obligated at all and should definitely talk to him about this!
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| Posted 8/14/08 5:22 PM |
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twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥
Member since 11/07 10116 total posts
Name:
Gabi
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
You are a stronger woman than I am... for several reasons.
#1: My SO/DH would NOT be permitted to have his previous GF come and stay with us- EVER! I don't care if it was years ago or not...
#2: If my SO/DH blurted out, 'You should be the godmother," I would have asked him if he is smoking crack... b/c no ex-whatever of my SO/DH would be my child's godparent- I don't care if I don't have any sisters!
#3: I don't care how honored or excited the chick was, I would demand that my SO/DH told her, "Sorry, but I had diarrhea of the mouth yesterday. Kristina and I have not yet discussed whether we are going to baptize the baby or not. I just kind of blurted out that comment about you being the godmother. I'm sure you understand."
I am so friggin pisssed off for you right now!! 
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| Posted 8/14/08 5:38 PM |
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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
Name:
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
Posted by twinkletoes807
You are a stronger woman than I am... for several reasons.
#1: My SO/DH would NOT be permitted to have his previous GF come and stay with us- EVER! I don't care if it was years ago or not...
#2: If my SO/DH blurted out, 'You should be the godmother," I would have asked him if he is smoking crack... b/c no ex-whatever of my SO/DH would be my child's godparent- I don't care if I don't have any sisters!
#3: I don't care how honored or excited the chick was, I would demand that my SO/DH told her, "Sorry, but I had diarrhea of the mouth yesterday. Kristina and I have not yet discussed whether we are going to baptize the baby or not. I just kind of blurted out that comment about you being the godmother. I'm sure you understand."
I am so friggin pisssed off for you right now!!
Thanks!!! I feel very justified after reading everyone's responses. I'm definitely going to talk to him...but I'll probably wait until after she leaves. (he knows I was annoyed, but I don't know if he sees the extent of how wrong it was.) She saw the look on my face and I did say right away--we haven't even decided about a baptism yet--so she won't be totally surprised that it's not a guarantee.
I'm so glad you wrote number 2 above. I was wondering if I was crazy about that bothering me. It was a looong time ago, but even for my child's sake, I thought it might be wrong. I would be freaked out if I found out a godparent ever slept with my mother/father!
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| Posted 8/14/08 5:50 PM |
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twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥
Member since 11/07 10116 total posts
Name:
Gabi
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
Posted by mamabear
Posted by twinkletoes807
You are a stronger woman than I am... for several reasons.
#1: My SO/DH would NOT be permitted to have his previous GF come and stay with us- EVER! I don't care if it was years ago or not...
#2: If my SO/DH blurted out, 'You should be the godmother," I would have asked him if he is smoking crack... b/c no ex-whatever of my SO/DH would be my child's godparent- I don't care if I don't have any sisters!
#3: I don't care how honored or excited the chick was, I would demand that my SO/DH told her, "Sorry, but I had diarrhea of the mouth yesterday. Kristina and I have not yet discussed whether we are going to baptize the baby or not. I just kind of blurted out that comment about you being the godmother. I'm sure you understand."
I am so friggin pisssed off for you right now!!
Thanks!!! I feel very justified after reading everyone's responses. I'm definitely going to talk to him...but I'll probably wait until after she leaves. (he knows I was annoyed, but I don't know if he sees the extent of how wrong it was.) She saw the look on my face and I did say right away--we haven't even decided about a baptism yet--so she won't be totally surprised that it's not a guarantee.
I'm so glad you wrote number 2 above. I was wondering if I was crazy about that bothering me. It was a looong time ago, but even for my child's sake, I thought it might be wrong. I would be freaked out if I found out a godparent ever slept with my mother/father!
OMG! You are sooo not crazy! I cannot believe that you even let her in your home!! I don't care how nice she is! I am just so psycho and overprotective of my man. Wait if you must- to have a sit-down with BF but make it CRYSTAL CLEAR that she WILL NOT be the godmother when you do have a chat. Period. Good luck sweetie!!
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| Posted 8/14/08 6:03 PM |
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lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
talk to him after she leaves. too bad if she is dissappointed, he shouldn't have said it!!
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| Posted 8/14/08 7:18 PM |
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newwife08
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 1001 total posts
Name:
Indira
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
Posted by 1stimemom
W T F was he thinking?!?
What she said...um...absolutely NOT do you have to make this girl your childs godmother...that is a big decision that you should have made in private with your BF and you need to make that clear to him before this girl gets carried away with the idea...and even if she does...to bad..its up to him to fix it now, not you...don't give in to something so important because he obviously lost his mind for a moment....good luck
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| Posted 8/14/08 8:25 PM |
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newwife08
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 1001 total posts
Name:
Indira
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
Posted by twinkletoes807
You are a stronger woman than I am... for several reasons.
#1: My SO/DH would NOT be permitted to have his previous GF come and stay with us- EVER! I don't care if it was years ago or not...
#2: If my SO/DH blurted out, 'You should be the godmother," I would have asked him if he is smoking crack... b/c no ex-whatever of my SO/DH would be my child's godparent- I don't care if I don't have any sisters!
#3: I don't care how honored or excited the chick was, I would demand that my SO/DH told her, "Sorry, but I had diarrhea of the mouth yesterday. Kristina and I have not yet discussed whether we are going to baptize the baby or not. I just kind of blurted out that comment about you being the godmother. I'm sure you understand."
I am so friggin pisssed off for you right now!!
Yeah..and what she said too!!!!!
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| Posted 8/14/08 8:27 PM |
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Candy Girl
Candy girl- you are so sweet!
Member since 11/07 6349 total posts
Name:
erin
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
My DH did the same thing. He called his best friend and told him that he had to marry his girlfriend ASAP so that they could be the Godparents, that we couldn't ask the GF to be Godmother unless they were married b/c if they broke up, we have no ties to her. I was like..."YOU DID WHAT??????"
Meanwhile, I have 3 sisters, 2 sister-in laws, a brother and 3 brother in-laws that all would be like  .
Just let it blow over like I did and DO NOT feel obligated to ask her to be Godmother to your DC!!
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| Posted 8/14/08 8:53 PM |
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Candy Girl
Candy girl- you are so sweet!
Member since 11/07 6349 total posts
Name:
erin
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
double post!
Message edited 8/14/2008 9:01:05 PM.
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| Posted 8/14/08 8:53 PM |
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beachgirl13
Mommy to 3 boys!
Member since 5/05 4114 total posts
Name:
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Re: Just kind of a vent..
oh boy, men just do not think!
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| Posted 8/14/08 8:56 PM |
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