Just something I feel I need to say.

Look this day started off bad when I had a fight with DH at 6:15 am, so please excuse me if this comes off sounding harsh, BUT..

There are some of us who are VERY cautious about what we eat and do while we are pregnant. When the threads come up about should i eat this or that, we state why we do not eat certain foods. We do not judge those who decide to eat them, however I don't feel that it goes both ways. There is a lot of "come on now, you won't eat THAT, women used to drink and smoke and babies came out just fine so eating some cold cuts or soft serve or whatever isn't going to hurt anything. Everything in moderation."

To me with some things, it isn't about moderation. If I eat a turkey sandwich that has listeria and something happens to my babies, I will never forgive myself. It could be the only turkey sandwich I eat the entire time I am pregnant but that turkey could have harmful bacteria. To me, not eating a few foods for a few months is a sacrifice I am willing to make, and it is my choice to do so. I am tired of constantly being "made fun of" on here for choosing to be cautious. (and I'm not saying that anything is specifically directed towards me, I'm just talking about the general posts about these issues.)

How many of those with cats won't change the litter? The risk of getting taxoplasmosis is very small, especially if you have been around cats your whole life and if your cat doesn't go outside. However, most of us aren't willing to take the risk. I have the same attitude towards certain foods.

If you decide that eating certain foods in moderation is best for you, then I respect that. I know that I am more cautious about these things than many other people. I just would like for my choices (and the other women on here who have made the same choices) to have the same respect.


Thanks for listening/reading my rant.
Hopefully my day will get better from here. I hope I havent offended anyone, it was not my intention.

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

hope your day picks up

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

Everyone makes their own decisions. I stay away from mostly everything bad but I do drink/eat

-half-caf coffee every morning
-turkey sandwhiches
-mozzarela (any which way)
-the occasional hot dog

I did this with my 1st and he is perfect!!
So...no ones deserves to be blamed/flamed/whatever

In Europe they drink and smoke--to me that is bad, but everyone has their own opinion

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

ITA, Lauren!

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

Good post. I have to admit Im pretty lax on certain things , so I have probably wondered why certain questions were asked myself and I understand better now.

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

I agree with you! I also will not eat cold cuts, tuna or soft cheese during pregnancy...however I am DYING for a turkey sandwich!!! My DH thinks I'm silly also, says I can eat cold cuts in modereation. I won't though, for the same reasons as you, plus I wouldn't even enjoy it because I will be feeling guilty. I also will not clean the cat litter, and our cats are indoors cats..so the risk is very low. I don't not juge others who eat what they want at all, I wish I could be that brave! But I don't let what people say to me get to me at all. My mom thinks it's crazy too with all the "rules" now because she said she ate whatever she wanted and we are fine. But I am a worrier by nature, so it's my personality.

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

You are not alone. As soon as this baby is born, my DH knows that he is to bring a turkey sandwhich, cole slaw and a diet pepsi to the hospital asap! He did the same with my first 2. Everyone thought I was nuts, but I had 3 people show up at to the hospital with coleslaw, not flowers! I can't wait for that meal!

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

Well said Sweet Tooth

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

I think this is very well put and I agree. If you want to think in your head that I am crazy for not eating something, be my guest, but no need to tell me

Hope your day is better.

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

while im lax about some of the things you mentioned, i chalk it up to the fact that this lil baby has been through a car accident, and two near emergency stomach surgeries, shes like a brick wall lol
so i occasionally do eat certain foods i didnt think i would at the beginning..
with that being said though, when i read the posts of people saying "everything in moderation" it ALWAYS agrravates me lol only because youre 100% correct, eating ONCE is DEFINATELY moderation...what if that ONE TIME gets you sick?
i always thought it was pretty crazy to say that...
its like, either you smoke or you dont.
When i had cancer my oncologist told me smoking one cigarette while out with friends at a bar, was as harmful as smoking a pack a day...
you dont "kinda" smoke, or "kinda" eat turkey lol
moderation defeats the purpose of the fear to begin with..IMO.

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

Very well put! I Hope you and dh make up soon.

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

I understand your frustration, but I really don't think anyone means to come off as 'making fun' or anything like that .......

I think it's kind of a double edge sword, those of us who are super careful feel like we're being at and made fun of, and those of us who are NOT super careful feel like we're being looked down on like we don't 'care' enough about our babies to stay away from tuna or whatever ..........

I think the "that's crazy, everything in moderation" type comments are just as irritating to the conservatives as the "I can give up cold cuts for a few months if it means my baby will be healthy" type of comments are to those who are bit more relaxed in their 'rules'.........

To be honest, of ALL the boards here, I think this one is the MOST pleasant and drama free - Everyone seems to have genuinely good intentions and I haven't seen any snarky comments .......

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

Posted by MarisaK

I think it's kind of a double edge sword, those of us who are super careful feel like we're being at and made fun of, and those of us who are NOT super careful feel like we're being looked down on like we don't 'care' enough about our babies to stay away from tuna or whatever ..........


To be honest, of ALL the boards here, I think this one is the MOST pleasant and drama free - Everyone seems to have genuinely good intentions and I haven't seen any snarky comments .......

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

To be honest, of ALL the boards here, I think this one is the MOST pleasant and drama free - Everyone seems to have genuinely good intentions and I haven't seen any snarky comments .......




with that being said, im gonna breastfeed, in public, without covering my nipple, at carvel in front of the soft serve machines, in front of children, while eating sushi, and i may use corporal punishment on my DS who is 9 1/2 and almost bigger then i am
hehehehehe

(just tryin to lighten up the mood, before nayone jumps on me, it was a joke lol)


youre actually right, i do think people are pretty sensitive on here..i just think the "modersation" thing doesnt make too mcuh sense in some issues, because the women that usually DONT eat the turkey, or eat the sushi arent worried about doing it alot, theyre worried about doing it once, and having that ONE time be critical..
i hope you have a better day tooth ;)
im having one of those weeks!!

Message edited 9/10/2008 9:33:22 AM.

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

Posted by MarisaK

I understand your frustration, but I really don't think anyone means to come off as 'making fun' or anything like that .......

I think it's kind of a double edge sword, those of us who are super careful feel like we're being at and made fun of, and those of us who are NOT super careful feel like we're being looked down on like we don't 'care' enough about our babies to stay away from tuna or whatever ..........

I think the "that's crazy, everything in moderation" type comments are just as irritating to the conservatives as the "I can give up cold cuts for a few months if it means my baby will be healthy" type of comments are to those who are bit more relaxed in their 'rules'.........

To be honest, of ALL the boards here, I think this one is the MOST pleasant and drama free - Everyone seems to have genuinely good intentions and I haven't seen any snarky comments .......

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

I agree with the PP here. Some people would never think to eat a turkey sandwich. While others would never give it a second thought and just eat it.

I did. I have cold cuts and hot dogs and coffee. And I had my DD 7 weeks early. Was the hot dog the reason? I doubt it. Next time around I'll watch what I eat more.

But I tend to see boht sides of the argument too. Some women will say that they would never do anything to harm their babies. Making it seem like those of us that eat the hot dogs and what not, are TRYINg to hurt our babies. Which couldn't be further from the truth.

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

I'm sorry you had a bad day!

In regards to your post. I follow a more natural approach to pregnancy and childbrith and I'm pretty open about it but NEVER impose my views on others because that is not right. I am a healthcare professional with a medical backround so I am a little more knowledgeable about a lot of pregnancy situations than most. I can understand your frustration especially because there are no "standard national set guidlines" everyone needs to follow their own practitioner whether it is an OB or Midwife.



I think the best thing is for everyone to follow that their practitioner recomends, and be comfortable with that decision. And at the same time be aware that what their physician recomends is not necessarily what another may recomend. The point is for everyone to make an educated decision on what is best for THEIR body, and THEIR pregnancy with the help of their practitioner and be happy with it. THis way if someone makes a comment it shouldn't bother you because you are happy with the way YOU are doing things.

It is hard to learn to not judge others when we live in a society when everyone feels that they are entitled to a say and opinion. At the end of the day what matters is that YOU are happy with YOUR decisions!

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

ITA agree with you. I have been lax about somethings, but during the first tri I was a lunatic and stayed away from EVERYTHING, including not even taking the dog to the groomer or the vet bc of the sheer chance of taxoplasemia...no one should make you or I feel "stupid" or overly anal about being cautious. It took me a few months to get pregnant and you know what I don't want to take that for granted, bc I remember every month crying about getting AF, and now that I am pregnant I remember those days every day...

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

I'm sorry you are having a bad day

I agree with you though. when I answer posts about what can I eat, I always preface my answer by saying my doctor said no this, or no that.

I am kind of tired of seeing the statement, women smoked and drank bla bla and we turned out fine. My mom smoked the whole time pregnant with me, and I'm fine! But what does that have to do with anything? now we know there are dangers to certain things, I choose not to take the chance.

Everyone makes their own choices, I don't much care what other ppl think about what I choose to do

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

I don't think anyone is trying to offend anyone when it comes to this topic but the fact is, there is no right answer as to what to avoid and eat because as many others have stated it all depends on your OB and what they tell you.

Personally, I think in the end what you eat throughout your pregnancy is part your OB's recommendation and part common sense. For me, I'm not going to sweat the occasional ice cream cone from Carvel or even a diet Coke here or there. However, that being said I was waaaaaaaaaaay more cautious in the beginning but at 38 weeks I don't really think a diet Coke or whatever else is going to have that big of an effect on the baby at this point. But that's me.

IMO people sometimes worry themselves to the point of panic in their pregnancies when the reality is it's unlikely that anything bad will go wrong and chances are you will go through your pregnancy without incident and deliver a healthy baby. I just feel there is too much info out there these days and you can drive yourself insane with worry. Common sense and a reasonable amount of caution and you'll be fine and do what's best for you........to each his own.

Message edited 9/10/2008 11:18:56 AM.

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

I think that's a good post. We tend to forget sometimes that things we say to others can be taken the wrong way. It's very easy to have an opinion come across as passing judgement on someone.

I hope your day gets better.

Message edited 9/10/2008 11:20:50 AM.

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

Lauren-you know my history and at this point in pregnancy I guess you could say I am more "relaxed" than some. However, like all opinion posts on all LIF boards, I think if everyone did a little more minding their own business and a little less judging, we'd all be happier On pregnancy I usually try to give my opinion without downgrading someone else's iunless I feel it is a matter of great importance and I have knowledge to impart. Whic I wouldn't put someone being conservative into that category you know? They are not going to harm their baby by NOT eating cold cuts, sushi etc

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

ITA with you Lauren.

Some believe in moderation, some don't.

We definitely shouldn't pass judgement on someone.

I really hope your day gets better!!!!!

Re: Just something I feel I need to say.

Message edited 9/10/2008 2:12:32 PM.