Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

First some background info. When my DH and I first bought this house we bought it with the thought that we would add on some more bedrooms. The house is currently a ranch and we can easily add a story..Financially this just isnt going to happen in the immediate future....

We currently have 4 bedrooms..Master bedroom and 2 bedrooms are on the main floor and there is another bedroom in the finished basement (my basement has 9 foot ceilings and big windows so you dont even feel like you are in the basement.) Currently my eldest daughter has the basement bedroom, the twins share a bedroom, my step daughters share a bedroom, and then my DH and I have our bedroom which we share with the baby....

Basically I just dont know how long we are going to keep the baby in with us or at what age it will become an issue....Hopefully before he is able to say "Daddy what are doing to Mommy"...you get the picture.

While my DH daughters are here quite a bit they only sleep here 4 nights per month or every other weekend. I dont want to have to take their room away from them or ask them to share the bedroom with their brother but I just dont see an alternative....Part of the time I feel like this evil step monster for even thinking such a thing and the other part of the time I feel like this room is sitting there unused for the majority of the time when DS could be using it...

In addition my step grandmother just died. Which means my mom and stepfather will be moving upstate within the next year or so. What this means is that my mom will be coming to stay with me 3 nights every other week to see her grandchildren. Again an empty room which could be used etc....My mother said she will sleep in the yet unfinished playroom!!!! When there is a perfectly good bedroom!!!!

Please understand that I love my stepdaughters and wish that they lived with us 100% of the time. But they dont and they have their own rooms at their moms. While Caden doesnt have a room at all....

How would you handle this???

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

How big is your basement? Could you put your step-daughters down there and put your son in the step-daughter's present room?

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

no advice.... just

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

Posted by bicosi

How big is your basement? Could you put your step-daughters down there and put your son in the step-daughter's present room?

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

Posted by bicosi

How big is your basement? Could you put your step-daughters down there and put your son in the step-daughter's present room?

Message edited 1/30/2008 11:30:00 AM.

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

how about bunk beds to save space?

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

Depending on the ages of the kids & the size of the room, I would move the step daughters in with the eldest daughter. She only has to share 4 days a month.

Maybe give the eldest daughter the option of sharing the room with her stepsisters 4 times a month or sharing with her brother full time?

Message edited 1/30/2008 11:35:12 AM.

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

i know ur pain - my stepson comes to our house every other weekend and he has his own room too. we changed our office into the nursery but now we don't have a place for al of our files (had to move them to the garage).

when family comes over, they stay in his room and if he is here, then he will sleep on the futon in the nursery or on the air bed.

My husb and i are pretty much on the same page about it, so its not that bad. how does ur husb feel about this? ultimately you need to work it out together and if he is okay with it, i would suggest having them share the room with their brother (he's only sleeping in there at this point, anyway - right?)

good luck

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

if its possible, i like the idea of a second room next to "big sis" room? and/or they can share with the baby until he's a little older?

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

Posted by ziamaria

i know ur pain - my stepson comes to our house every other weekend and he has his own room too. we changed our office into the nursery but now we don't have a place for al of our files (had to move them to the garage).

when family comes over, they stay in his room and if he is here, then he will sleep on the futon in the nursery or on the air bed.

My husb and i are pretty much on the same page about it, so its not that bad. how does ur husb feel about this? ultimately you need to work it out together and if he is okay with it, i would suggest having them share the room with their brother (he's only sleeping in there at this point, anyway - right?)

good luck

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

Honestly, I dont have a suggestion, but I feel that it would be hurtful to take a room away from the girls @ this point. As a child of divorce, I just feel that its such a delicate situation and will be seen as they are being replaced. I know you dont mean it that way though.

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

I don't really have any ideas but wanted to let you know that I can totally relate!

I also have a 4 bedroom house. I have two step-sons who stay with us every other weekend and a couple of weeks a year for vacations/school breaks. Each step-son has his own room, DS has his own room and DH and I have our master bedroom. What bothers me is that DS who is with us 100% of the time has the smallest room and my step-sons rooms are bigger and, like you said, are only used a handful of nights a month. They are with us two nights a week for dinner and they both go to there rooms to watch TV, play video games, etc., but the majority of the time, I am looking at these two big empty rooms...

Now the reason DS is in the smallest room is because with the layout of the house - it just makes sense. All 4 bedrooms are on the 2nd floor. DS's room is right next to the master bedroom in the back of the house and the other two bedrooms are down the hall and in the front of the house. He has the perfect nursery! By the time DS is old enough to care about having a bigger room, the other boys will be older and we will hopefully have finished the basement by then... The other issue I have is that IF, and that's a big IF, we were to have another child, we would have to put step-sons in the same room and then I would feel like the evil-stepmother who took away there own rooms.

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

DH and I have a VERY small house. We only have 2 bedrooms, the 2nd bedroom is TINY.

Well DH has a 6 year old son who says with us every other weekend. The 2nd bedroom was his room.

Well once we found out we were having a little girl, we made it for Abigail.

Needless to say his parents weren't happy (his son is the favorite) and made a HUGE deal about it.

Well our reply is that he does not live with use full time. How could we not give our daughter her own room?? He only stays with us for maybe 1 weekend out of the 2, the other is spent with his grandparents.

We made a little spot for all of his toys and put a bed in the living room (its disguised as a sofa )

So after my story I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have a child that lives with you full time and he's the only boy. How can you deny him is own room? It's such a hard situation. I think it would be fine if the girls stayed in the room with him when they were over. The most important thing is making sure they know your not taking anything away from them but that you have to make room for Caden since he's getting bigger.

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

Re: Just wanted some opinions..especially from blended families

Thats a tough one - I wonder the same thing when we have another baby what we are going to do... sorry I don't have advice for you though