Re: Kids and Competitive Sports

I kind of disagree.

I mean - winning is not a character builder and losing is not evidence of a deficit in character. I know that isn't exactly what you were trying to say - but I guess I don't see competition as a character builder. I have known many GOOD athletes who are cr*ppy human beings.

My son loves sports. He loves to participate, he loves to play and he loves being part of a team. He plays for love of the game, from an innate desire to do well - not because he wants to get the biggest trophy. I really dig that he is so in tune with intrinsic motivation rather than being compelled by 'rewards'. I love that he works hard at being good because it makes him feel good - rather than because he doesn't want to let his team down or because he wants a trophy or because he wants to be better than anyone else. I love that he is driven to be the best HE can be for no other reason that that it is satisfying to him. I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with teaching him that there is no such thing as a LOSER when you are doing your best.

But all good things must come to an end - next year he will start playing competitively. I hope he retains that wonderful sense of self that tells him that as long as he is trying his best than he is doing great.

ETA: I am also one of those crackpot parents who teaches my kid that the world is full of pure potential and they CAN have anything they desire.

Message edited 7/8/2008 9:09:58 PM.

Re: Kids and Competitive Sports

I have Juliette in Karate. It is something she can master at her own pace and I think it was the best thing I could have done. It has boost her self confidence, her coordination and her discipline. And she can now kick a** if need be...

You can't always win, but you need to play as if you are going to win...

Message edited 7/8/2008 9:43:31 PM.

Re: Kids and Competitive Sports

Eh - it doesn't really bother me one way or the other.
When they're young...they should play for the fun of it - not to win or lose. And as they get older, they can learn the skills involved, the idea of teamwork, and then, winning and losing.
They grow up so fast as it is....I say let them have something where nothing really matters!!

(Of course, I am sooo not a competetive person, so I could be totally off!)

Re: Kids and Competitive Sports

ITA 100%. We have started to teach my son that if he loses a game, it's ok... We don't let him win on purpose.

Re: Kids and Competitive Sports

I see it like the way I see war toys. I am against toy guns, any toys that represent war and fighting. DH says if we don't buy him for them, sticks will still be guns if he wants to play "bang bang " or fighting type games.

Same thing with sports. If they want to play and compete, there is no stopping that. Young children play tag and other games where someone is first and someone is last, ridiculous games that make no sense but someone wins and someone loses. Its human nature to want to compete.

Competitive sports teaches about working in a team, teaches how to lose while still maintaining your cool and not letting it get to you too deeply (ideally) and how to look at areas of weakness and how to improve those areas. I see nothing wrong with it - but its how you parent and teach while they play, and while they pick up the toy guns, etc. Limiting a child doesn't teach them anything. Providing the perspective while playing the game is what helps them grow - both figuratively as well as literally!