let me know your opinion...

ok girls--- I got my BFP a couple days ago and i was going to tell my mom this saturday on her birthday.. she waited for this news for years (she actually went with me to my last IUI appmt) anyway..... sad news, my grandma passed away this pm, we are all sad she was 89 but was pretty ok in a nursing home the past couple months doing rehab (so it was unexpected but not really too unexpected)
Anyway, should I wait until the services are over to tell mom? or...... will it be nice for her to have something positive to reflect on (this will be her 1st grandchild)? Let me know your feelings.......
PS - I told my grandma the wonderful news in the hospital today, before she passed away and I told her to tell GOD to look out for us. (me and baby) If there is anyone i want to be in my corner up in heaven, it would be my grandma.......

Re: let me know your opinion...

Oh wow I am so sorry for your loss !!

Thats a hard decision but if you feel it would make your mother feel better and excited I dont see why not and you can share with her that you told your grandma before she passed

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I am SO sorry about your Grams. My thoughts and with you and your family.

As far as telling your mom I was thinking it might be a nice thing to tell her. It might be good to find happiness in such sadness. But on the flip side, it really depends on how your mom is doing through all of this because you want for her to enjoy the news and be happy for you but you may not get the reaction you would ordinarily get because of her grief. You know your mom and you will have to decide what is best but in all honesty, I don't think you can wrong either way. There is no clear cut answer, it just depends. Congrats again on your pregnancy and I am truly sorry for your loss as well.

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Sorry... I think it is sooo special that you got to share the news with your Grandma. I would absolutely tell your Mom asap. I think it would really mean a lot to her- and even more so that you got to tell your Grandma.

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So sorry for your loss.
Give her your wonderful news now, so she has some strength to get through the next couple of days.
I would tell her your lovely story about you last conversation you had with your grandmother and "what" you discussed.

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wow....what timing! If it were me, I'd wait a week.

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thanks girls, some good advice. It was really wonderful that i shared my "secret with her" I know she was happy, the machine she was hooked up to even beeped a bit (after the news) and my DH and I looked at each other amazed......

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Sorry about your Grandma

It sounds like you and your mom are very close, I would tell her as soon as you can. I am sure she will be thrilled to hear it.

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Sorry about your gram and her passing. I think that is great that you got to share the news with her before she passed.
Only you know your mom and how she may feel. If it were me I would tell her. My mother would be happy and kinda something else to think about.
Best of luck and let us know what you decide. My best for you and your family

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So sorry about your grandma

I think telling your mom will be really wonderful for her. I will give her something nice to think about at such a sad time.

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WOW, you telling your grandma is so touching. I would wait until after the services, but that is just me. I think once she gets through that, the news will be so wonderful to her!

Sorry for your loss and congratulations to you, although I know you have a lot on your mind!

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Sorry for your loss. Your little one will have someone looking out for him/her. In terms of telling your mother, I think you will know when the time is right.

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So sorry for your loss!

I got my BFP on the day my mom got up from sitting shivah (we are jewish) and told her that day. Honestly, I don't think it was the best move. She was a little preoccupied with things that happened and was still grieving. While she was happy, I think that it made her a little sadder that she couldn't share the news with her mother!

However, I do believe its an omen of some kind. Your grandmother passed b/c she knew a new life was brought into the world and would continue her legacy! I think my grandmother held on for the same reason for me!

Re: let me know your opinion...

Posted by avamamma

Sorry... I think it is sooo special that you got to share the news with your Grandma. I would absolutely tell your Mom asap. I think it would really mean a lot to her- and even more so that you got to tell your Grandma.

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So sorry for your loss as well. DH lost his grandma late last night too.

I would wait & tell your mom after the services are over- I'm sure it will make her feel better.

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First, I am so sorry for your (and your family's) loss.
My friend found out that she was PG right aroung the time of her grandmothers loss and she swears she sees her grandmother in her son in some way everyday. They will probably have a special connection.

Were you planning on giving your mom a birthday gift anyway? Maybe you can incorporate the news in a gift somehow. You know your mom the best. This may be what she needs to get through this - God works in mysterious ways. Good luck and let us know what you decide.

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sorry for your loss.
congrats on you bfp!

Its ok to be happy that you got your BFP after years of trying. I thnk you should tell you mom so she has something positive to think about

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I am very sorry for your loss.

I would share the news with your mom
It makes a lot of people feel "better" with the one life out but another is brought into the world thought.
I think that it will make her "happy" to know that her mother is watching over you and your baby.

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I think it will give your mom some happiness in the sad time, so I definitely think you should tell her!!!

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Well I went through the exact same thing last fall before I m/c'ed. I found I was pg and my grandpa died a few hours later. I had already told my mom that I had seen a faint line, and my aunt.. her twin.. But I did tell the rest of the family that next day and it was wonderful to see them smile. They were generally happy to hear good news and felt like it was a circle of life thing. The only thing was.. my mom was feeling so sad.. she told EVERYONE
and that in the end wasn't good. Threre are distant cousins that she told and hasn't spoken to since then so they are expecting a baby at the reunion this summer and have no idea that I am having IF problems.

So there is no reason why you shouldn't tell your mom. But maybe for this week just keep it between your parents and your dh, you know?

And I am very sorry for you loss

Message edited 4/24/2008 9:37:15 AM.

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[ sorry double post.

Message edited 4/24/2008 9:36:53 AM.

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Im so sorry about your grandma I think that this timing was for a reason, and that you should tell your mom. It would be so uplifting during a sad time. The best of wishes in your descision.

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I am so sorry about your Grandma, but it is amazing that you got to tell her the good news. IF it were me, I think I would tell my Mom, especially the part that you told your Grandma before she passed away

Congratulations

Re: let me know your opinion...

First I am sorry to here about your Grandma ! I found out I was PG the day my grandpa passed and I too was planning on putting off telling my parents but my sister convinced me otherwise. So, I told my parents the following day and they were thrilled and said how the circle of life is an amazing thing. This blessing may ease your family's grief, I know it did for mine.