Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

How disappointing is this going to be for me?

I'm not quite in the 2WW yet, but I am already starting to fantasize about taking that first HPT. Even though I "know" that chances are it will be a BFN, in the back of my mind I don't *really* accept that logic, ya know?

Whenever I pictured us TTC, I assumed I would be very laid back and relaxed about it. I hate to admit this, but I spend a LOT more time thinking about TTC than I could ever have imagined.

So, any advice on how to not stress out so much, and keep things in perspective? Is there any way I can prepare myself for the harsh reality of AF? Or am I just totally screwed?

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

unfortunately there is no way to know how you will react... some people are very upset by it and some arent...

i hope you dont have to deal with it ever... lol but like you, the fact that youre conscious of it is a good sign... thats how i was... if you try not to read into "symptoms" i found its easier to handle the BFN or AF because your hopes werent being dashed lol

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

I was actually pretty broken.. because I posted a few mins ago about tugs and pulls and cramps and literally 10 mins later AF showed up (and she was 4 days early) and I wasn't expecting her.

Since it was a snow day, I was home with DH and I drowned myself in wine and cheesse.

But honestly, you can't tell how you would react.. I knew deep down I couldn't have been preggo, but I still was wishful because of the OPK and stuff. I hope you get your BFP right away, so you will NEVER have to know

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

last month was our 1st full month trying and the first time af showed, we were disappointed for sure. this month af showed i was even more disappointed. hubby's doing a better job than i at keeping things in perspective. next month we're going to enlist the help of the digital cbeopk and hopefully until the day af's due. although i'm not quite sure how we can that much more... LOL~ i thought for sure we broke the record this month bding almost every 1.5 day betw CD 10-24

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

It's true that you don't know how you will react until you're in that situation. The only advice I can give, which is what I'm trying to do, is avoid testing until AF is at least a few days late. I have driven myself crazy POAS way too early and way too often and seeing way too many negatives. Best of luck to you

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

everyone is going to react diff..its hard for me to say how you will...for us it was dissapointing but oh we figured next month we will get it...march makes a year so i can only say i am at the point of hating to poas bc i never get the result i want

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

Thanks ladies I'm truly sorry to those of you who have been here a while.

I'm grateful to have this site. I have no one IRL to talk to about TTC, and I appreciate your responses and advice, and just general support.

and for all of us!

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

First cut is the deepest...

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

Each month will be different...some hurt more than others. For me there were months that it was just like I wasn't even trying. The worst month was this one. I had gotten to the point I knew it wasn't going to happen without help. I got help a d it still didn't work

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

Its disappointing but you are just starting out....relax and enjoy it

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

I feel like it varies by person and by month. For me, month one wasn't too bad but month 2 hurt a lot for some reason. Then I felt okay for a few months and then this month was by far the hardest for me. I am undergoing prelim tests to see if there are any issues and so I think each BFN only gets worse and worse now..

So I would say try not to get too disappointed if you get a BFN this month.. But I also know that is WAY easier said than done!

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

I thought the first month would be devastating, but it wasn't. I knew it takes time and it was rare that someone gets pregnant on the first try.

I also thought that my first failed IUI would be devastating, but it wasn't too bad...until I began the clomid the next week and became an emotional mess

Each month you try something different (mucinex, temping, opk, supplements, etc) and you gain new hope that these things will do the trick. And one month they will!

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

I was pretty upset. But i think that if it does not happen on the second or third month for me that I will probably be devastated.

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

Month 1 wasnt devasted b.c i prepared my mind for a BFN, but i was dissapointed. 2nd month i was upset. 3rd month i was devasted, i really felt like i was, and AF was 4 days late, AF showed up on my bday
4th month...we shall see?

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

I was sad but even though we are officially TTC we weren't very efficient at it but i was hoping I would be the on first try. Onto the 2nd month. Plan to put much more into it and we see what happens.

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

*deleted* because I don't want to start a flame war.

Message edited 2/21/2011 12:15:55 PM.

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

i don't think its THAT devasting..if its just your first month trying.
Last month was my first month trying and i got a bfn..i was fine. Not happy about it, but i was not devastated.

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

Everyone is different. I am already on my 4th month of BFN and its really not affecting me too badly. However, some women get a BFN on their first month and its devasting for them. I dont know if theres anyway to really prepare yourself for a BFN except to tell yourself that there is only a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month and thats with healthy individuals so dont beat yourself down if you dont get that BFP on your first month

Message edited 2/21/2011 5:37:17 PM.

Re: Level with me....BFN on your first month trying

This is my first month and I am not out yet, but if I wind up not being pregnant I will be REALLY disappointed. Especially since I found that starting March 1st my Dh will be working away from home Mon-Thursday for 3 months which will make trying to conceive after this month very difficult. Not impossible but harder to plan BD around O if it doesn't fall on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday.