Life with a newborn...

Mom of newborns, or those who remember what it was like.

What was your day like?

I'm having trouble balancing my needs with DS's needs right now.

Like, the basic stuff like when the hell do I get to eat or go to the bathroom?

I was home alone for the first time today for the whole morning and I literally couldn't figure out how I was supposed to feed myself or pee while taking care of him.

I understand I can do that when he sleeps, but he won't always go down in his crib and then I have the issue of no monitor in the downstairs swing where he's sleeping, so I can't leave him alone.

How do you find a balance? Or is there no balance at this point?

TIA.

Message edited 9/2/2007 12:50:08 PM.

Re: Life with a newborn...

Honestly, for the 1st month, I would forget to do a lot of that. If Molly was sleeping, a hour or so would go by and I woudl say..."I better eat something fast." I also wore her, so that helped in getting stuff done. It's hard when you are bfing as well.

Re: Life with a newborn...

Can you leave him in the bouncy seat while you get things done? I would put Ryan in his bouncy seat or swing. Hang in there!

Re: Life with a newborn...

DS is 6 weeks now. I run to the bathroom whenever he starts to fuss or cry because I know it'll be awhile if I don't go then. As for eating, I basically hardly eat all day because I'm taking care of him or trying to get stuff done while he's sleeping. I have to remind myself to grab something while passing through the kitchen. It's amazing I haven't lost tons of weight! I took my first shower at home alone with him today too while he went down for a nap in his bouncer.

Message edited 8/6/2007 12:12:29 PM.

Re: Life with a newborn...

It's very difficult. When DD wasn't sleeping, she cried. So when she catnapped I would try to quickly shower, get dressed and eat something. Do what you can, and you might like one of those baby bjorns or swings.

Re: Life with a newborn...

Do you have a bouncy seat or a sling? DD like her bouncy seat so I would put her in that while I ate or I just learned to do things one handed. I even mastered BFing while using my laptop. The first month is the hardest but you two will get into a routine and you'll start to figure it out.

Re: Life with a newborn...

I had no time for anything. Peeing became a chore. I lived on Naked drinks.

Re: Life with a newborn...

I learned to pee while holding a newborn, and most of his newborn pj's have food stains on them! It does get easier in a few months, so if you can hold of peeing until then you will be just fine!

eta, when I showered I just put him in his crib with all the bells and whistles on. He didn't like it, he grizzled away, but he didn't cry and he got used to it.

And as for cleaning, I am still using that "I just had a baby" excuse!

Message edited 5/21/2007 5:38:19 PM.

Re: Life with a newborn...

i know its so hard right now.but to be honest..cleaning and cooking and stuff really doesnt get easier until they are on a schedule which about 3-4 months..anyway..peeing? i would just leave them in a safe place and go...i never took dd with me..i really wasnt that long..the pack and play was great..even if she cried for like 2 minutes..its not going to kill them..TRUST ME..lol..

Re: Life with a newborn...

Re: Life with a newborn...

I guess I'm the oddball here. I don't find it difficult at all to do things for myself with the baby. She sleeps a lot and did so much more in the beginning, so I would shower, eat, pee, etc. when she was sleeping. Even if she was awake and I had to pee or eat, I would do so. You CAN put a baby down and leave them in the swing/bouncy, etc. for five minutes while you run to the bathroom. Just make sure they are strapped in and I don't think they will be going anywhere It's amazing how much I have learned to do one handed

Re: Life with a newborn...

Message edited 5/21/2007 6:01:29 PM.

Re: Life with a newborn...

DDs slept so much I was able to keep up with the housework, fold the laundry, cook dinner, etc. Now I'm lucky if they sleep for a total of 1 hour each day.

Re: Life with a newborn...

I felt like you in the 1st 2 weeks. After that, i realized he will not break or die if I put him down in his bouncy to go to the bathroom - even if he is screaming and crying. My take on it was - I'm not going to be an effective or patient mom if I'm feeding him and having to pee in the worst way...

Showers I would do early in the morning after his morning bottle and was down again. As he got a little older - about 4 weeks and up, he was content in his swing while I took showers and did other chores....

Eating is tough. Its low on my "to do" list so I will forget to eat, and then as soon as I'm starving and get food together, he wakes up and wants to be fed himself. Eating is the only thing I cannot do while he is crying. I need to be relaxed when I eat. Now that he is almost 7 wks, and is more content with looking around and at me, I can put him in his bouncy, and talk to him and bounce his seat while I eat.

When he is having his crying witching hour (when there is nothing he needs that I can figure out) I let him chill in his swing, and I will also chill (like right now!)

Re: Life with a newborn...

Posted by monkeybride

Do you have a bouncy seat or a sling? DD like her bouncy seat so I would put her in that while I ate or I just learned to do things one handed. I even mastered BFing while using my laptop. The first month is the hardest but you two will get into a routine and you'll start to figure it out.

Re: Life with a newborn...

It was hard. I thought that it would last forever, not being able to do things. I felt guilty because I couldn't have the house the way I always had. Well, it goes by quick. Before you know it, your DC will be sleeping a lot longer or will be able to keep him/herself entertained.
What helped me a lot was that we had a portable swing and I use to take that with me to whatever room I was in.

Re: Life with a newborn...

Re: Life with a newborn...

I went through periods of not showering for like 4 days straight. I had my husband buy foods I could eat with one hand -- granola bars, Luna Bars, grapes. I would eat Weaver chicken tenders for lunch almost daily out of the microwave bc they could heat up iin 45 seconds. I would shove food in my mouth and hold him with the other. What made things easier was when I got a wrap and strapped the baby to me -- I got the Ultimate Baby Wrap from Amazon and it was great. DS would sleep like 2 hours in it and I could walk around and do stuff!!! Imagine that?!?! Showering I eventually did at night when DH came home (If I wasn't freaking exhausted). Honestly it's so early you just need to do what you can to survive. At around 8 weeks it gets easier, you feel more confident, you learn the "tricks" that work best for you.

Re: Life with a newborn...

I didn't do much the first couple of months. I think I once went 4 days without eating a single bit of food and didn't even notice. As for peeing, I would hold her and pee if I had to. I know it sounds gross, but somedays, she just wouldn't let me put her down. The bouncy seat became my best friend. She would sleep and I would keep her in the doorway of the bathroom while I showered. You'll get the hang of it, I promise!

Re: Life with a newborn...

Well there was one time i brought one of the boys in the bouncy seat to the bathroom to pee...but that was just once. If i had to go, i put them in the pak n play and go. If they cried, they cried. I took showers at night when DH came home from work. Now i take them when they are napping.

Re: Life with a newborn...

Re: Life with a newborn...

I was lucky enough that we lived with my FIL who is retired for 3 months after she was born. In the beginning he'd warm up bottles for me, hold her while I went in the bathroom or just keep an open ear while I showered (usually when she was sleeping) and he would make me these wonderful bacon & egg breakfasts, man, I'm missing it now.

But seriously, there were a lot of days when he was out and I needed to fend for myself, and on those days I found that the bouncer was a great help. In the beginning I felt guilty putting her in there but I started to realize that it was OK sometimes, and it would keep her happy and occupied while I got some things done. I did also sometimes bring it into the bathroom while I showered, and just left the bathroom door open.

Re: Life with a newborn...

I would always put her in the bouncy to eat, shower and use the potty. If fussed, she fussed. It's not like I would take very long to do anything.

It gets easier I promise

Re: Life with a newborn...

Re: Life with a newborn...

Thanks everyone - great suggestions I will definitely use.

It never even occurred to me to bring the bouncy seat with me places.

I swear, I used to be smart, I really did!! LOL.

We also put the pack and play together downstairs today so that I can put him in there which will be a big help.

I can't leave him in the swing by himself because of the dog - when DS fusses the dog gets anxious and even though I don't think he would hurt him I don't want to risk it.

Message edited 9/2/2007 12:49:49 PM.