like i dont feel bad enough

ds will only be 16 months if i go to term as my due date is on his 16 month birthday.... my mother told me today that i should really get him used to other people doing stuff for him since i wont be doing anything for him anymore.... i didnt think that when you had a second child the first got thrown to the wasteland... and who does she think i am going to have around to throw ds to since i wont be there for him anymore??

sorry she just annoyed me....

Re: like i dont feel bad enough

i am so sorry you had to hear that.. how awful to think that the 1st born will be thrown to the side.

try and let it in one ear and out the other.. you know DS will be just fine!! and he will love his new sibling!

Re: like i dont feel bad enough

Re: like i dont feel bad enough

OMG what an awful thing to say! Shame on your mom. My 2nd brother and I are 17 months apart, and we seriously are BEYOND close! Not that my oldest brother and I aren't close, because we are now, but growing up it was always my middle brother and I.

DS and Baby #2 will be about 18 months apart, and I hope they have the same relationship I had with my brothers.

My mom told me that she remembers it being a bit tough in the beginning months, but once she got a routine down things were great!

Some people just don't understand there is no "perfect" time for everyone, and while she has her opinion she might want to keep that to herself.

Re: like i dont feel bad enough

I think it's great that they will be so close. If I could have done it, I would have. Don't let your mother make you feel bad. You will be a great mommy to both your babies.

Re: like i dont feel bad enough

you know the funny thing is i am one of five... and my father travelled alot so it was always only my mother (no grandparents) so you would think she would be more supportive not more discouraging

Re: like i dont feel bad enough

Maybe she said what she said the wrong way, but had good intentions. I don't know if your DS is anything like mine, but I have been trying to prepare DS a little. He is 3, so its a little different, but both DH and I could be right there or DH can be IN THE ROOM with DS while I'm on another room and he insists that I get his juice, or take his empty cup from him or take off his shoes....whatever it is, he only wants me to do it. I have also taken the easy way out and not taught DS to dress himself etc. I realize now I have to start encouraging him to do things himself and have to start insisting that he allow DH to do more when I am around. I plan to BF and Pump often with #2 so there will be many times in the begining when I just can't do every little thing he needs me to do. Especially when DH goes back to work. I am hugely concerned and majorly stressed out about this bc I don't want DS to feel pushed aside in anyway.

Re: like i dont feel bad enough

grrr, that would have made me mad too! I know how you feel

I told my mom I'm worried about DS getting swine flu bc he didn't get his vaccine yet. she was like oh worry about you an the baby , like DS totally didn't mattter I know she didn't mean it, but I already feel bad DS will not be our one and only anymore

Re: like i dont feel bad enough

we have always tried to have ds have some form of independce from us... he has self fed for the most part since 10 months and hs been off bottles since 11 months..... he really prefers to play alone then with dh or i... she was talking about things like bathing and bedtime... which besides when i am in the hospital, really will be all me... i am a sahm and dh works nights so new baby or not it will still be my job... she basically thinks i am just going to have someone else take over that task for ds... kinda like oh there is a new baby now so you are no longer my responsibility...it is bad enough that dh are trying to figure out how to do the bed/bath routine, but her comment just made me feel that much more bothered by this