Lost my Beautiful Mother suddenly 3 months ago

It's been 3 months since receiving that horrific phone call that my mom died in the middle of the night unexpectedly. She died in early July while I was in Florida and I am now living back in NY with my father, who was married to her for 43 years. I can't stop crying every time I drive to the cemetery by myself to visit where she is, and when I get there I just collapse to the ground and lay on the grass. Never in my worst nightmare did I think my Mom, the most important person in the world to me who did everything for me in my life would just die out of the blue without any warning at all at 67, after her own mother died just 3 months before her at 98. This is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I would trade places with her if she could still be alive today.

When my mother died, a lot of my soul died. We were very very close throughout my close to 31 years of having her by my side. My life is forever changed and I consider this a new life without my mother alive. Impossible to get over losing someone like my mother who I loved more than anyone. It goes through phases, and eventually comes back to haunt you in the mind when you think about how devastating it is.
The hardest thing for me right now is driving to the cemetery. It's almost unbearable when I get there.

I can try to make happiness for myself in however long my future life is, but never will life ever be the same as it was with my mother alive by my side at all times.

God bless my mother in heaven, forever. I love you mom, will think of you every single day about how much I love you, and will always remember how you always were there for me at all times.

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Re: Lost my Beautiful Mother suddenly 3 months ago

I'm so sorry. My deepest sympathy. I also lost my mom suddenly. Its been 21 years, so I know what you are going through.

You are right. Life will never be the same. A piece of you goes with your mom. FM if you ever want to talk. My heart goes out to you.

Re: Lost my Beautiful Mother suddenly 3 months ago

My heart is breaking for you. I feel your pain in your words. I am so, so sorry. If you ever need to talk or vent, please fm me. You and your precious mother will be in my prayers.

Re: Lost my Beautiful Mother suddenly 3 months ago

I'm so sorry for your loss. I used to always think that it would have been better if my mother passed away in her sleep instead of suffering as she did but I guess there is no easy way to lose your loved one. My heart goes out to you.

Re: Lost my Beautiful Mother suddenly 3 months ago

I am so sorry about your mom. I lost one of my best friends - my Dad - suddenly too.

All I can give is my experience. The period you are in right now is the closest thing I can think of to living helll.

It takes time, but it really does get better. It will never be the same, but you will start to feel better.

Just feel how you want to feel for now. If it's crying every day, cry everyday.

I am still amazed how our souls begin to heal and you will be surprised at how far you can come.

My best wishes for you and your family right now

Re: Lost my Beautiful Mother suddenly 3 months ago

Posted by anjerandunder

I'm so sorry for your loss. I used to always think that it would have been better if my mother passed away in her sleep instead of suffering as she did but I guess there is no easy way to lose your loved one. My heart goes out to you.

Message edited 11/6/2008 12:10:28 PM.

Re: Lost my Beautiful Mother suddenly 3 months ago

Re: Lost my Beautiful Mother suddenly 3 months ago

I lost my father 2 months ago suddenly also. He was the rock in mylife and it is very hard for me.. Unfotunately for me it has been so hard for me to mourn him.

It is not easy trust me... If you need someone to talk to you can FM me since we are basically in the same boat.

I am going to go to a bereavement group that is offered at the Mid Island JCC. i think that would be helpful to me to be with other people who are in the same situation. This might be an option to you too..

Again, sorry for your loss

Re: Lost my Beautiful Mother suddenly 3 months ago

I lost my mother to Breast Cancer. It is the hardest thing to lose a parent your close to. I want to invite you to my support group for those who lost a parent. For me, it's been 5 years...I decided to use my grief for good and start something where we can all come together and help each other heal:

http://www.meetup.com/Motherless-Fatherless-Daughters-Sons/

Re: Lost my Beautiful Mother suddenly 3 months ago

So sorry...I understand the feelings, I've been feeling them for 5 years. I'd like to tell you, it does get better. Losing a mother can mean heartache for a long time. Most people who've lost loved ones but not their mothers, don't quite understand it IS different, it IS harder, and the process doesn't quite fit the usual "stages of grief" most people try to put us into. It's not the same.
Your post doesn't make clear if you are female...but if you are, I'd like to recommend a book to you that helped me so much. It's called "Motherless Daughters" by Hope Edleman.
Whether you are or not, you are welcome to join my Support Group for men and women who've lost their mothers and/or fathers. We come together to share, to cry, to listen and learn from each other, and to help each other through our struggles....to help us better understand our pain and ourselves and our feelings, so that we can heal. My group is open to everyone, male or female, any religion, any experience of loss of a parent, at any age.
I'm also here to talk if you need someone who understands and has been there.

http://www.meetup.com/Motherless-Fatherless-Daughters-Sons/

With care,
~Natalie

Re: Lost my Beautiful Mother suddenly 3 months ago

Oh I am so sorry. I don't normally come to this board, because my mom died almost 10 years ago and my dad almost 5 years ago. I didn't lose my mom suddenly, she suffered with lung cancer for 2 years. It still hurt and hurt and hurt. She was my best friend too.
I miss her every day, and especially at this time of year it gets harder for me. All i can say is, it WILL get better. It is so raw now, and although the pain you are feeling will always be there, as time goes on it does get better. It hurts, but you kind of just learn to live with it atfer a while. It's almost like going through the motions. I think about my mom every day, and i cry still, to this day for her very often, but i promise you ., eventually it will get easier. Please know that so many here know what you are going through and that you have much support. My thoughts and prayers are with you.