Mental illness: Depression

Does it every "go away"?
Im aware that some are on medication for life- but does the lows ever go away- and if so how/when?

Ive shared before, but to give a little background... Depression runs on my moms side big time- and my mom was diagnosed about a year ago (however shes been really bad for the past 5 years- but didnt get herself up up until my dad was deployed a year ago)

They say depression is something she always had- but assume that my father infedilty which was discovered in 2001 is what triggered it...

Every year its gotten worse and worse- but this year has been the most hard! There has been 1 suicide attempt- in which she was hospitalized over night- apparently after she took a whole bunch of sleeping pills- she then realized what she had done- and got herself help- So they took that as a good sign- and only kept her 1 day (I think they wanted to keep her more-but she refused)

She is seen weekly by a counselor and (I wanna say biweekly-but it could by monthly) by a psychiatrist- I know they've tried several anti-depressants- and she just recently switched psych. since she didnt feel the first really did anything for her (I agree)

IMO- I think a big part of the problem, is she still hasnt let go of the past (my dad's affairs) and I just dont see her getting better- no matter how much meds she takes- if she continually stays in a marriage, in which there is no trust, and she is so unhappy.

This is extremly hard on my- because her and I are very close- but she is so moody- and when she is not having a good day is so terribly hurtful towards me!

Yesterday was DS b-day party, and she just wasnt behaved- she had a few beers (and for a woman who weighs 90lbs soaking wet, never drinks, is on meds) which did a number on her- plus it wasnt one of her "good" days...

I called to her to come watch us open presents, and she came over- got right in my face while I had DS on my lap- and was yelling about something (She wasnt even making sense)- I was mortified!

Then- when being introduced to one of my very attractive friends(who is happily married with an infant mind you) she says "wow- you are very beautiful- stay away from my husband- he likes young woman" and then walked away with "I gotta go have another beer"

I cant begin to explain how HARD it is to not be so angry- and if I didnt love her so much- we would have no relationship anymore...

If she is getting help (and has been for over a year now) and taking her meds- is this ever gonna get better-



I just dont see a light at the end this tunnel

Re: Mental illness: Depression

No advice but

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Depression is a treatable illness but has to be monitored carefully. However, it sounds to me as if depression is not the only thing she is dealing with right now. I had been treated for what had been called "acute onset depression" with both therapy and medication. This was a number of years ago. I since stopped therapy and was weaned off from medication. I was told that if a person goes off without being weaned, the symptoms come back and sometimes even worse than before. As far as how I feel now, I have good days and bad days but not anymore or any less than anyone else in the world.

Is it possible that she is not taking her medication consistently or that she is not seeing her doctors the way she should be?

Re: Mental illness: Depression

depression is a very treatable illness and with medication and therapy she should reach a point where she is good. If she is not depressed most of the day every day than the clinical depression (the chemical/biologcal part that responds to meds) is probably under control. The emotional and behavioral aspect of dealing with her realizzation of the infidelity cant be medicated away and a good therapist is more important here. And alcohol.... well that just completely disinhibits you and what she did while drunk has not much to do with her illness.

But the havoc any mental illness reaks on the family is horrible. I would suggest going to a support group such as NAMI. I'll try and find a link for you.

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Posted by rose825



depression is a very treatable illness and with medication and therapy she should reach a point where she is good. If she is not depressed most of the day every day than the clinical depression (the chemical/biologcal part that responds to meds) is probably under control. The emotional and behavioral aspect of dealing with her realizzation of the infidelity cant be medicated away and a good therapist is more important here. And alcohol.... well that just completely disinhibits you and what she did while drunk has not much to do with her illness.

But the havoc any mental illness reaks on the family is horrible. I would suggest going to a support group such as NAMI. I'll try and find a link for you.

Re: Mental illness: Depression

What about the fact that she remains so miserable in her marriage?

Could that be stopping her healing process?

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Re: Mental illness: Depression

First off, I need to give you hugs

My father lost his job of 25 years when I was 15. I guess he always had this macho thing in which he NEEDED to be the breadwiner for the family. He became extremely depressed, cried over nothing, never slept, and was a completely different person. My family, not knowing anything, became increasingly angry with him and couldn't understand why he didnt just "get his act together". After a suicide attempt, we took him to the ER. He stayed for a couple of days and then went home and started seeing a phychairatrist. It got a little better but not really.

Turns out, my dad wasn't clicking with the doctor and the meds prescribed were not enough. He had another suicide attempt. He changed hospitals and doctors.

He now sees a phsycologist every other week and a new phychatrist every other month. Hes on different doses of varying meds.

My dad was diagnoses as being bipolar and having a severe case of depression.
Losing his job triggered the bipolar which other people can have and never know about it.

He takes it one day at a time. There are days he wakes up great and takes very minimal drugs. There are days where he wakes up and feels the "dark cloud" and knows he needs his full set of meds that day.

His disease is something that even though he wanted to get out of, he couldn't. To hear how he felt trapped in himself when he tells us stories, makes me cry now.

At the time, I was "Angry" at him. Angry that he wasn;t the same dad i knew, angry that he was ruining my life, and angry that I had to be his parent. Its only natural.

He is now the same old dad i've always known!!!

Please consider checking up on her doctors and meds. There is a rainbow aroud the corner.

Please fm fme any time

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Re: Mental illness: Depression

first here is the link for NAMI

now if her behavior while she was drunk is typical of sober behavior, then that really isnt a symptoms of depression.

Does she have periods of elevated or euphoric mood?
times when she doesnt need to sleep or feels well rested on little sleep (not that she can't sleep- but doesnt need to)?
does she have periods of increased energy?
irritability?
increase in activities like excessively shopping or cleaning?
impulsivity (we know she has an impulsive mouth )

If she has some of these how long do they last? These are all symptoms of some form of Bipolar disorder, which kind depends on more details). You can read about cyclothymia, Bipolar I, Bipolar II.

If she has these symptoms, and is being treated for depression only then yes she could be being mistreated. If her "manic" symptoms are less severe such as in Bipolar II or cyclothymia it can easily be misdiagnosed if she is not 100% honest with the MD. And it may not be because she is being deceiptful. She may not realize its relevant or she may like when she feels that way (its a lot better than being depressed).

Re: Mental illness: Depression

oh yeah and how long before the meds work depends on each person and the type of medicine. some may work for one person and not for another. BUt if it is working usually you see an effect in 4-6 weeks.

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Posted by Jessica

First off, I need to give you hugs

My father lost his job of 25 years when I was 15. I guess he always had this macho thing in which he NEEDED to be the breadwiner for the family. He became extremely depressed, cried over nothing, never slept, and was a completely different person. My family, not knowing anything, became increasingly angry with him and couldn't understand why he didnt just "get his act together". After a suicide attempt, we took him to the ER. He stayed for a couple of days and then went home and started seeing a phychairatrist. It got a little better but not really.

Turns out, my dad wasn't clicking with the doctor and the meds prescribed were not enough. He had another suicide attempt. He changed hospitals and doctors.

He now sees a phsycologist every other week and a new phychatrist every other month. Hes on different doses of varying meds.

My dad was diagnoses as being bipolar and having a severe case of depression.
Losing his job triggered the bipolar which other people can have and never know about it.

He takes it one day at a time. There are days he wakes up great and takes very minimal drugs. There are days where he wakes up and feels the "dark cloud" and knows he needs his full set of meds that day.

His disease is something that even though he wanted to get out of, he couldn't. To hear how he felt trapped in himself when he tells us stories, makes me cry now.

At the time, I was "Angry" at him. Angry that he wasn;t the same dad i knew, angry that he was ruining my life, and angry that I had to be his parent. Its only natural.

He is now the same old dad i've always known!!!

Please consider checking up on her doctors and meds. There is a rainbow aroud the corner.

Please fm fme any time

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Is your mother seeing a therapist?

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Posted by rose825

Does she have periods of elevated or euphoric mood?
times when she doesnt need to sleep or feels well rested on little sleep (not that she can't sleep- but doesnt need to)?
does she have periods of increased energy?
irritability?
increase in activities like excessively shopping or cleaning?
impulsivity (we know she has an impulsive mouth )

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Depression also IMO is never CURED

You learn to deal with it

but not CURED

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Re: Mental illness: Depression

I have a family member with depression, and sometimes it takes trying out a bunch of meds before you find the right one. I know I was on like eight BC pills before I found one that was right for me...It's the same with these meds, but on top of finding the right kind, you need the right dosage, which is just trial and error. They won't tell you anything and they won't admit her without her admitting herself unless she is a danger to herself or others.

I think alcohol for many people with depression is a means of self-medication. Don't take the things she says to heart--this is not your mother talking, it is the illess. However, my relative stopped taking meds and got considerably worse because he said they made him feel like he was "in a cloud" and couldn't think clearly. I don't know if I would leave her alone with the baby.

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Re: Mental illness: Depression

Re: Mental illness: Depression