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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
As in someone close, like a family member or friend? And do you feel like you give them more "chances" when they do something wrong or try to put their behavior into prespective or treat them the same way as everyone else?
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Posted 7/26/05 6:16 PM  |
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boosh1002
We like hanging together!
Member since 5/05 5475 total posts
Name:
Mommy to twins
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
I have an autistic brother. We pretty much treat him the way we treat everyone else.
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| Posted 7/26/05 6:17 PM |
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btrflygrl
me and baby #3!
Member since 5/05 12013 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
I had a grandmother with manic depression.....was never really close.
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| Posted 7/26/05 6:18 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
I know far too many people with mental illness. It runs on both sides of my family (but I was adopted so it doesn't explain MY weirdness..jk). It really depends on what they did wrong or what the situation is. Actually more important to me is if they're trying to get help and they're working on it. if a person is acting out or doing something wrong and it's related to a mental illness, and the person is capable of getting help, but refuses to, then I feel that tolerating the behavior is enabling the person to just continue on the ath they're on. I feel like maybe if they realize that their illness is affecting their relationships with family and friends they will feel compelled to get treated. I know I sound insensitive and I get called insensitive all the time. But this is talking about people who are completely capable of getting help and who have turned down help when offered. I just can't deal with that. Also, with certain people who just act heinous and mean and cruel, and then someone tries to use the mental illness as an excuse I just don't buy it. It's not a person who is so far gone that he/she doens;t kow any better. The person I'm referring to has episodes but then does have periods of normalcy and s/he doesn't in that time apologize for the behavior or try to make anyhting better. Everyone else just makes the excuse that that person acts in reprehensible ways b/c of the illness. Sure this person has a mental illness, but it's possible to have a mental illness AND be a bad person.
With a mental disability, I'm definitely more likely to give them more chances because I've been able to see from experience where these people lack the abiloity to pick up on social cues for example and don't have the ability to sort it out or make it better.
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| Posted 7/26/05 6:25 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by marymoon
I know far too many people with mental illness. It runs on both sides of my family (but I was adopted so it doesn't explain MY weirdness..jk). It really depends on what they did wrong or what the situation is. Actually more important to me is if they're trying to get help and they're working on it. if a person is acting out or doing something wrong and it's related to a mental illness, and the person is capable of getting help, but refuses to, then I feel that tolerating the behavior is enabling the person to just continue on the ath they're on. I feel like maybe if they realize that their illness is affecting their relationships with family and friends they will feel compelled to get treated. I know I sound insensitive and I get called insensitive all the time. But this is talking about people who are completely capable of getting help and who have turned down help when offered. I just can't deal with that. Also, with certain people who just act heinous and mean and cruel, and then someone tries to use the mental illness as an excuse I just don't buy it. It's not a person who is so far gone that he/she doens;t kow any better. The person I'm referring to has episodes but then does have periods of normalcy and s/he doesn't in that time apologize for the behavior or try to make anyhting better. Everyone else just makes the excuse that that person acts in reprehensible ways b/c of the illness. Sure this person has a mental illness, but it's possible to have a mental illness AND be a bad person.
With a mental disability, I'm definitely more likely to give them more chances because I've been able to see from experience where these people lack the abiloity to pick up on social cues for example and don't have the ability to sort it out or make it better.
I know a few, and I know one person who while doesnt use it as an excuse, I at least try to think of things like Lies, bad choices etc in light of their mental illness, BUT I feel like when does it become just an excuse? I think to myself do I have to research their illness to see if lying is a trait? Things like that, sometimes it makes you wonder when the person really is not just using an illness to act a certain why without consequence.
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| Posted 7/26/05 6:47 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
I know many....obviously but i do know some in my personal life. No they are NOT treated like everyone else...that is pretty impossible...BUT I definitely think that normalization as much as possible is necessary
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| Posted 7/26/05 6:50 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by dm24angel
I know a few, and I know one person who while doesnt use it as an excuse, I at least try to think of things like Lies, bad choices etc in light of their mental illness, BUT I feel like when does it become just an excuse? I think to myself do I have to research their illness to see if lying is a trait? Things like that, sometimes it makes you wonder when the person really is not just using an illness to act a certain why without consequence.
if you would like me to FM me about which mental disorders involve lying....feel free
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| Posted 7/26/05 6:51 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Yes, DH's ex-wife definitely was, his friend/our best man is undiagnosed bi-polar. He refuses to get help, has never worked regularly, makes many excuses for a lot of why he can't do things/is unhappy/etc. in life.
Currently, he's on his way down to Florida to marry a woman he reconnected with since high school, over 20 years ago. They've known each other two months and a month ago when he returned from visiting her, he said he couldn't "do a relationship" Fast forward a week, then on our wedding day three weeks ago all he could talk about was how he can't wait to marry her. How he's going to get his stuff backed in the car and drive down there asap because he saw us get married.
I'm really upset because DH has stood by him for five years now and he left without saying goodbye. I would give him more of a chance if he would try to help himself.
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| Posted 7/26/05 7:05 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
My Great-Grandmother was Schitzophrenic ( sp). I believe that she committed suicide...not much is known about her though.
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| Posted 7/26/05 7:08 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
does undiagnosed counT?
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| Posted 7/26/05 7:29 PM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
My uncle (mother's brother) is schitzophrenic. He currently lives in a home where he has his own apt, but there are medical staff living there also. My mother and her other brothers take care of all of his needs. As long as he takes his medication he is tolerable.
It's a shame that this happened to him. He is such a smart person. He got a full ride to Columbia Univ. and was 2 classes short of his degree when he got sick.
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| Posted 7/26/05 8:38 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
I know a few, and I know one person who while doesnt use it as an excuse, I at least try to think of things like Lies, bad choices etc in light of their mental illness, BUT I feel like when does it become just an excuse? I think to myself do I have to research their illness to see if lying is a trait? Things like that, sometimes it makes you wonder when the person really is not just using an illness to act a certain why without consequence.
if you would like me to FM me about which mental disorders involve lying....feel free
Obviously I know a lot about mental disorders since I have a degree in it.
My question( NOT directed at Jenn) Is that when someone who has a mental illness lies, is it OK? Im talking like manic depressive, a mood disorder, social disorder..and then says things like I lied because I was having a breakdown, was off my meds, something like that ...for example...What would you think if it happened a lot?
Message edited 7/26/2005 10:02:49 PM.
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| Posted 7/26/05 9:54 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by dm24angel
My question( NOT directed at Jenn) Is that when someone who has a mental illness lies, is it OK?
Like i was saying and you shold then know, SOME disorders...lying is a BIG characteristic. KNOWN to be apart of said illness....
If they are depressed and lying...well then they lying is separate and not associated.
Eithe way...If the person is SICK...the person IS SICK and should be treated with kindness and understanding...EVEN if they are lying...
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:01 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
My question( NOT directed at Jenn) Is that when someone who has a mental illness lies, is it OK?
Like i was saying and you shold then know, SOME disorders...lying is a BIG characteristic. KNOWN to be apart of said illness....
If they are depressed and lying...well then they lying is separate and not associated.
Eithe way...If the person is SICK...the person IS SICK and should be treated with kindness and understanding...EVEN if they are lying...
I 100% agree. I think everyone in the world should be treated with kindess and understanding.
MY QUESTION was..does anyone know a person with a mental illness who might use that to not face the consequences of their actions.
People commit murders because they are mentally ill and must face the consequences....If a person lies...should their mental illness be their excuse.
Its just a question..
Im wondering why sometimes the line is blurred between physical and emotional pain mentally ill people cause.
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:12 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by dm24angel
People commit murders because they are mentally ill and must face the consequences....If a person lies...should their mental illness be their excuse.
Its just a question..
Im wondering why sometimes the line is blurred between physical and emotional pain mentally ill people cause.
well again...if they are sick, then they are sick. Whether they lie or not. Sickness and hiding sickness, lying can occur.
And i am sure they are held accountable one way or another.
BUT if they are mentally ill...they are held LESS accountablem BECAUSE they are SICK. A normal person SHOULD be held more accountable because they are "normal" and should know better, where a sick person might not!
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:18 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
People commit murders because they are mentally ill and must face the consequences....If a person lies...should their mental illness be their excuse.
Its just a question..
Im wondering why sometimes the line is blurred between physical and emotional pain mentally ill people cause.
well again...if they are sick, then they are sick. Whether they lie or not. Sickness and hiding sickness, lying can occur.
And i am sure they are held accountable one way or another.
BUT if they are mentally ill...they are held LESS accountablem BECAUSE they are SICK. A normal person SHOULD be held more accountable because they are "normal" and should know better, where a sick person might not!
Are you taking about lyiing or in general? Im talking about in general...so your saying its ok to hold a murderer less accountable because they are sick?
Mental illness is a disease, it is controllable. many anyway, such as terminal illness is as well...Lying, killing, hurting people is not ok. I think the term "sick" is being used too loosely....not all mental illness creates lying as a symptom..
Anyway, Im looking for overall opinions about how much people should be held accounatble.
For instance..if a manic depressive , an illness that creates severe fabrications...if someone like this says they were raped and they werent, is that ok because they are sick?
eta- Im curious about mental illness's, not disabilites like autism etc...
Message edited 7/26/2005 10:25:06 PM.
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:24 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by dm24angel
Are you taking about lyiing or in general? Im talking about in general...so your saying its ok to hold a murderer less accountable because they are sick?
Mental illness is a disease, it is controllable. many anyway, such as terminal illness is as well...Lying, killing, hurting people is not ok. I think the term "sick" is being used too loosely....not all mental illness creates lying as a symptom..
Anyway, Im looking for overall opinions about how much people should be held accounatble.
For instance..if a manic depressive , an illness that creates severe fabrications...if someone like this says they were raped and they werent, is that ok because they are sick?
eta- Im curious about mental illness's, not disabilites like autism etc...
YES A murderer is VERY OFTEN held LESS accountable if they are ill...Do i think that is ok...sometimes...it is situational i guess
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:26 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
For instance..if a manic depressive , an illness that creates severe fabrications...if someone like this says they were raped and they werent, is that ok because they are sick?
eta- Im curious about mental illness's, not disabilites like autism etc...
Same with Manic Depressive... IMO they are held less accountable..THEY ARE ILL. HENCE they need help a "normal" person SHOULD be held MORE accountable since their judgement isn't impaired as a sick person is
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:28 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Ok...Heres a what would you do..and was NOT the cause of this thread, but its gone there so Im wondering now.
I have a friend who is borderline and manic depressive.
This person has lied about their friends being killed, about being raped, about police brutality, about martial abuse..and thats just the "big" lies.
Its a chore to be friends with this person, but I do, because I feel they have a mental illness that hinders them impaired when decision making comes...BUT sometimes I wonder if when a lie comes out, it really is the illness or its a lie plain and simple and the illness is a crutch used when caught.
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:29 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by Redhead
For instance..if a manic depressive , an illness that creates severe fabrications...if someone like this says they were raped and they werent, is that ok because they are sick?
eta- Im curious about mental illness's, not disabilites like autism etc...
Same with Manic Depressive... IMO they are held less accountable..THEY ARE ILL. HENCE they need help a "normal" person SHOULD be held MORE accountable since their judgement isn't impaired as a sick person is
Ok..I gotcha the first time, Im not looking for an answer, or a right or wrong..there is none, I see what your opinion is..I happen to AGREE
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:31 PM |
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BikerGrl
Merry Christmas!
Member since 5/05 2875 total posts
Name:
It's not the destination....it's the journey!
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by dm24angel
As in someone close, like a family member or friend? And do you feel like you give them more "chances" when they do something wrong or try to put their behavior into prespective or treat them the same way as everyone else?
We don't know exactly what is wrong with my Grandfather (he is 80)...... we used to chalk it up to being a ".....Grumpy Old Man..."..... but we now know this is not it. He has been given more chances then I care to remember & all of us (especially the grandkids) have tried to treat him extra nice when he does decide to come around..... but we all stopped recently. None of us have spoken to him in several months because we were tired of making excuses why he was being the way he was. I can no longer handle the negativity and all the craziness he makes, so it was time to stop making excuses for him.
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:31 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by ValR
Posted by dm24angel
As in someone close, like a family member or friend? And do you feel like you give them more "chances" when they do something wrong or try to put their behavior into prespective or treat them the same way as everyone else?
We don't know exactly what is wrong with my Grandfather (he is 80)...... we used to chalk it up to being a ".....Grumpy Old Man..."..... but we now know this is not it. He has been given more chances then I care to remember & all of us (especially the grandkids) have tried to treat him extra nice when he does decide to come around..... but we all stopped recently. None of us have spoken to him in several months because we were tired of making excuses why he was being the way he was. I can no longer handle the negativity and all the craziness he makes, so it was time to stop making excuses for him.
I gotcha...sounds like a hard decision...
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:33 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by dm24angel
Ok...Heres a what would you do..and was NOT the cause of this thread, but its gone there so Im wondering now.
I have a friend who is borderline and manic depressive.
This person has lied about their friends being killed, about being raped, about police brutality, about martial abuse..and thats just the "big" lies.
Its a chore to be friends with this person, but I do, because I feel they have a mental illness that hinders them impaired when decision making comes...BUT sometimes I wonder if when a lie comes out, it really is the illness or its a lie plain and simple and the illness is a crutch used when caught.
well with Borderline personalities LYING is a HUGE part of the diagnosis...And yes on a BIG level they aren't held as accountable.
Lies and Manipulation is key to the diagnosis...
AND having Bipolar on top of that...OMG. I would accept at this point there is nothing you can do, they are sick and need professional help. It isn't a crutch at all....it is inherent in the diagnosis!
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:34 PM |
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WoodIAm
My Boys!
Member since 5/05 5498 total posts
Name:
JoAnne
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
I've got it on both sides of the family! My uncle had a chemical imbalance. When he would go off his lithium, he would do some pretty strange things, like take off for days and no one would know where he was. It was hard for my Aunt and she would get very angry at him, but you really couldn't do anything about it until he started taking his meds again. So, yes, he was treated differently. My sister is a different story. She is Paranoid Schizophrenic and does not believe that there is anything wrong with her, so we can't get her on medication. We tried to treat her as we would anyone else, but it was nearly impossible and for our own safety and sanity, it was suggested we cut ties until she agreed to get help. No one has seen or spoken to her in almost 7 years now. MEntal illness is a horrible thing!
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:37 PM |
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BikerGrl
Merry Christmas!
Member since 5/05 2875 total posts
Name:
It's not the destination....it's the journey!
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Re: Do you know anyone with a mental illness/disorder?
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by ValR
Posted by dm24angel
As in someone close, like a family member or friend? And do you feel like you give them more "chances" when they do something wrong or try to put their behavior into prespective or treat them the same way as everyone else?
We don't know exactly what is wrong with my Grandfather (he is 80)...... we used to chalk it up to being a ".....Grumpy Old Man..."..... but we now know this is not it. He has been given more chances then I care to remember & all of us (especially the grandkids) have tried to treat him extra nice when he does decide to come around..... but we all stopped recently. None of us have spoken to him in several months because we were tired of making excuses why he was being the way he was. I can no longer handle the negativity and all the craziness he makes, so it was time to stop making excuses for him.
I gotcha...sounds like a hard decision...
YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!
 Just to add, sometimes it is more painful to continue dealing with a person like this then to actually let them go.
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| Posted 7/26/05 10:39 PM |
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