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My4GirlsMyLife
My 4 girlies
Member since 2/08 9702 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
Oh man where do I start ? I went to go get a piece of paper out of my daughters book ,and to my surprise there was a pic of a man and a woman naked ( private parts and all ) and above their heads it said "lets have sex" !!  I am so upset right now b/c she is so young .....I guess I am being naive to think I had at least another yr or so to have "the talk" but I guess I was wrong  I am just really upset b/c I don't know what she has learned from these other kids in school ?! I have already had the period chat with her ,and I know now I need to discuss this !!
So my question is when I have the talk with her do I show her the pic I found or pretend that I didn't see it ? I don't wan't to embaress her ! Geeze I am so not ready for this !! Are there any books or videos ? Someone help me please !! Let me know where to start and your experience !
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Posted 2/27/09 9:37 AM  |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
My DD is not that age yet, but I teach 5th grade, and I've seen that they know MUCH MORE about sex than we did at that age. It's honestly very scary.
One thing I would suggest is when you sit down to have that talk, don't mention the picture you found. There's nothing worse than being confronted with something that is embarrassing like that. Good luck--I had to deal with a girl in my class last year who was spreading rumors that another girl was having sex with all the boys in the class. 
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| Posted 2/27/09 9:42 AM |
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My4GirlsMyLife
My 4 girlies
Member since 2/08 9702 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
Posted by MrsRivera
My DD is not that age yet, but I teach 5th grade, and I've seen that they know MUCH MORE about sex than we did at that age. It's honestly very scary.
One thing I would suggest is when you sit down to have that talk, don't mention the picture you found. There's nothing worse than being confronted with something that is embarrassing like that. Good luck--I had to deal with a girl in my class last year who was spreading rumors that another girl was having sex with all the boys in the class.
I can't believe it !!! I am crying my eyes out b/c she is too young and it bothers me that she knows what it is already !!
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| Posted 2/27/09 9:48 AM |
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sweetie
Member since 8/06 1730 total posts
Name:
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
I think you should be honest & say what comes naturally. My son is still a baby but when I did the Big Buddy Program, this subject would come up alot.
I mainly stressed the consequences like pregnancy, std's, hiv & all the emotional things that go along with it. I would go into great detail about the nastiness of std's just to scare them.
Keep in mind that oral sex is BIG thing at that age so also talk about that. I would always tell the girls I knew that they shouldn't do anything that doesn't feel right just to be popular or just because a boy asks for it.
HTH
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| Posted 2/27/09 10:03 AM |
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My4GirlsMyLife
My 4 girlies
Member since 2/08 9702 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
Posted by sweetie
I think you should be honest & say what comes naturally. My son is still a baby but when I did the Big Buddy Program, this subject would come up alot.
I mainly stressed the consequences like pregnancy, std's, hiv & all the emotional things that go along with it. I would go into great detail about the nastiness of std's just to scare them.
Keep in mind that oral sex is BIG thing at that age so also talk about that. I would always tell the girls I knew that they shouldn't do anything that doesn't feel right just to be popular or just because a boy asks for it.
HTH
Thank you so much !! I don't go into detail though and explain how it's done do I  although Im sure she knows that now too
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| Posted 2/27/09 10:07 AM |
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sweetie
Member since 8/06 1730 total posts
Name:
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
Posted by vmystique33
Thank you so much !! I don't go into detail though and explain how it's done do I although Im sure she knows that now too
I wouldn't go into too much detail about that. I mean, she is only 10!
I remember my aunt (who's a nurse) pulling out one of her med books & telling me that the pee-pee goes in the vagina
Def stress to her that she's too young for it!!
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| Posted 2/27/09 10:09 AM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
I already started having the *talk* with my 8 year old...
I figure, let me start early so it won't be so painful...
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| Posted 2/27/09 10:10 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
I heard the same about oral sex at that age too. I don't think any of us are ever prepared to have that talk.
i'm not there yet but am having talks about why I and his teacher are finding photos of scantily clad women.
Good luck!
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| Posted 2/27/09 10:12 AM |
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mypumpkin
It's a beautiful day! :)
Member since 7/08 2296 total posts
Name:
Dee
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
The kids know EVERYTHING!! I would ask her what she knows and then fill in the rest-so she has the right information and not what the other kids are telling her! When we went to the parent and child meeting at ds school(5th grade) they had the children write down questions/concerns they had. All the kids knew everything about sex! I had already sat ds down and explained things and asked him if he had questions. Which he did! Now I tell him to come to me or dad anytime!
My middle son is in fourth grade now and is a total blabber mouth so I have been afraid to say too much!
Last week I asked him if he knew how a baby gets in someone's tummy-he said "yeh- 2 people have sex!"!!
I was like AGH! So now I know I had to explain the birds and the bees to him and let him ask any questions he had!
I know this is sooo uncomfortable, but it is a part of letting them grow up(a little)! hth
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| Posted 2/27/09 10:14 AM |
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babyonthebrain
Brotherly Love!
Member since 1/08 6209 total posts
Name:
Rafaela
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
I'm not a mom of a older child, but I will give you my advice form a techer's point of view. It's so sad how kids know so much at such a young age. I've had some of my 1st graders say that they are "boyfriend/girlfriend". One day I caught a little girl in my class and a little boy in another class holding hands on the playground, telling people they were boyfiend/ girlfriend and that they can kiss each other in the mouth!!! 
I would be very honest with your daughter. Ask her what she has learned at school. Show her the picture and explain that you thought you had more time to talk about it but the time has come now. I would be very scientific about it. Explain that's how humans conceive babies. Explain that this is something usually married people do. I would tell her once she gets her period, she can conceive a child (that should be a little scary to her)
I'm sure it will be a little awkward, but you'll get through it. No parent looks forward to the birds and the bees talk...
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| Posted 2/27/09 10:16 AM |
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My4GirlsMyLife
My 4 girlies
Member since 2/08 9702 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
Thank you ladies !! You guys are definately helping ALOT !!!! I wish I was more prepared but I guess noone is ever totally prepared for this
And to think I was trying to get her to still believe in santa im such a loser 
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| Posted 2/27/09 10:18 AM |
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mypumpkin
It's a beautiful day! :)
Member since 7/08 2296 total posts
Name:
Dee
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
Posted by vmystique33
Thank you ladies !! You guys are definately helping ALOT !!!! I wish I was more prepared but I guess noone is ever totally prepared for this
And to think I was trying to get her to still believe in santa im such a loser
You are a GREAT mom!!
This really sneaks up on us too fast!!
One day they are going off to Kindergarten and in a flash they are at the end of elementary school!!!
Once you open up the discussion with dd you will feel sooo much closer to her!!
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| Posted 2/27/09 10:23 AM |
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
Ugh...........
I know you don't want to embarrass her....but I think the picture might be a good jumping off point. It helps explain why you have decided to have "the talk".
I agree - have her try to explain what she already knows. And then with your kid gloves on, let her know the rest...
I just remember my parents stressing the importance of LOVE involved before engaging in any of these things...that LOVE was the most important part - not making the boys happy, not doing it to be popular (any of it, even kissing)...
Unfortunately it didn't work, but still, I remember...
Wishing you lots of luck with this. Don't they do a puberty talk in your school in 5th? Just curious...
Oh Lord, is this what I'm in for with my two DDs???
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| Posted 2/27/09 11:09 AM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
Oh boy I hope Nicholas isn't hanging around the same kids on the playground as your DD is
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| Posted 2/27/09 2:23 PM |
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MommyAgain
lovemygermies
Member since 6/08 3195 total posts
Name:
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
Posted by EmmaNick
Oh boy I hope Nicholas isn't hanging around the same kids on the playground as your DD is
lmao i was just thinking this about my Nicholas...ugh ive been dreading this too, but when i was about 6 months pregnant, and he turned 10, we were making his bed, and i asked him..."do u know what sex is?" verrrrry nonchalantly lol...and he looked at me, shocked and said "uh, no" and so i said, "do you wanna know what it is?" and he said...
'oh, g'd no!" lolllllllll needless to say, its a conversation i havent had yet, but will soon... i feel for ya
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| Posted 2/27/09 2:58 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
Posted by MommyAgain
Posted by EmmaNick
Oh boy I hope Nicholas isn't hanging around the same kids on the playground as your DD is
lmao i was just thinking this about my Nicholas...ugh ive been dreading this too, but when i was about 6 months pregnant, and he turned 10, we were making his bed, and i asked him..."do u know what sex is?" verrrrry nonchalantly lol...and he looked at me, shocked and said "uh, no" and so i said, "do you wanna know what it is?" and he said...
'oh, g'd no!" lolllllllll needless to say, its a conversation i havent had yet, but will soon... i feel for ya
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| Posted 2/27/09 3:03 PM |
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My4GirlsMyLife
My 4 girlies
Member since 2/08 9702 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
Posted by EmmaNick
Oh boy I hope Nicholas isn't hanging around the same kids on the playground as your DD is
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| Posted 2/27/09 4:01 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: moms of older kids ( 10 and older) I really need some advice about sex ed.
I started having the talk about sex with my girls when they were 8...the fact that I was pregnant at the time helped..
I have never sugar coated things for them..
In my mind you need to get to them before they are too embarrassed to talk to you....They are still going to be embarrassed to talk about it but after a few discussions I have found that it gets easier for them to talk to you...
I started reading that yahoo Answers thing and I read all these teens having sex...who were obviously too embarrassed to talk to their parents...and did know anything about diseases or how you get pregnant.
I dont know if Im doing the right thing or not..time will only tell...
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| Posted 2/27/09 10:13 PM |
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