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Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
I had the talk with my DD about 3 weeks ago. I just covered the basics. I didn't go into everything b/c she is still too immature to understand everything.... she knows I'll tell her when she's ready but one thing at a time for now...
She actually was very emotional when I told her about the facts of life. She is very senstive and very niave. She told me that she is never getting married and no one is ever allowed to she her privates...ever!  
Ever since our talk we have an even stronger bond. I just hope it stays this way!!!! I want to always keeps the communication lines open.
FTR I felt I had to have the conversation b/c kids "were talking" and giving my DD false information and that is the last thing I want to happen.
eta: she is 10 years old. Next year she has to watch "the movie" in school. ya know...the infamous movie we all had to watch!!!!
Message edited 5/13/2010 10:35:00 PM.
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Posted 5/13/10 10:27 PM  |
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ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
I have not had the talk yet, but I know it's coming She is 9 and unless I stop her from riding the bus, I will have to do it in the next few months or so. When I think about it, I feel like vomiting She is 9. My girlfriend's DD is 9 and got her period already
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| Posted 5/13/10 10:54 PM |
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hannahsmom
Yummy yummy cookie...
Member since 10/08 2005 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
We have been contemplating when we are going to do this and I am stalling. DD is 8 so I feel like I have a little time... ugh...
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| Posted 5/13/10 11:10 PM |
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laurabora
LIF Adult
Member since 4/07 2712 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
Ohhhh gooooooood I don't even want to think about this anytime soon! I think we have a few years because DS1 just turned seven.
Glad it went well for you and DD.
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| Posted 5/14/10 12:01 AM |
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Elizabeth
Mom of Three
Member since 9/05 7900 total posts
Name:
"MOMMY!!!"
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
DS is 7 1/2 and is nowhere near ready for it. I have heard that by 9 or 10 they are though so I will definitely be picking your brains on this. I'm scared of them getting older!
ETA: I think the reasons you stated are excellent reasons to have initiated the talk. Even if she doesn't reflect it back to you now, she can learn that not everything she is hearing is fact. And now she knows she can come to you because whether she even realizes it yet, you've removed the discomfort of discussing sex by discussing it. Bravo!
Message edited 5/14/2010 12:11:35 AM.
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| Posted 5/14/10 12:07 AM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
They show that movie at 10 here??? OY!
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| Posted 5/14/10 12:34 AM |
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OffWithHerHead23
Keep passing the open windows
Member since 10/06 3627 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
I started the talk in the beginiing of the school year. Nick is 9 and in 4th grade (so he was 8 when we started). I say that I "started" it becasue we've been having it in small increments so as not to overwhelm him. I feel like knowledge is power, and that he NEEDS to have the right info, NEEDS to be empowered as far as understanding consequences of his actions.
What prompted me to start it early was reading some studies a friend of mine who teaches middle school directed me to. Kids now develop and begin experimenting with sex earlier than ever before. Something like 40% of kids will have given or received oral sex before getting out of middle school. I felt like he needed matter-of-fact information about things like sex, STDs, and birth control so he's not confused when he gets to that point.
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| Posted 5/14/10 6:53 AM |
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cantbelieveit
Love these kids!
Member since 10/05 4708 total posts
Name:
Tammy
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
My DH had "the talk" with my SS I think around 8 or 9. Kids these days aren't kids for long and there was a lot of talk around the school. My DH had SS very young and doesn't want that for his children. He did keep it somewhat basic and just made sure he knows he can come to him for anything.
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| Posted 5/14/10 8:01 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
My kids know - and have known - about reproduction. They can talk to you about spermatozoa, ovum, zygotes and cell replication and give you all the info you might ever need about umbilical cords, testes, and mammary glands. We overloaded them with information when I was younger and a lot more full of myself.
What we didn't tell them - is the mechanics. We brushed over that with the usual: "When a man and woman really love each other they can give each other a very special cuddle" All the sparkles and rainbows. They do know the word "Sex" and have this titillating reaction to it, which tells me that there has been a lot more discussion about it with friends. But I'm still not prepared to handle the chat that discusses the 'hows'. As much as I thought I'd be the 'cool' mom who had no challenge educating her kids.. I think I'm gonna leave it to the school to take the first pass when they think the time is right!
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| Posted 5/14/10 8:57 AM |
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
Posted by booklove83
I started the talk in the beginiing of the school year. Nick is 9 and in 4th grade (so he was 8 when we started). I say that I "started" it becasue we've been having it in small increments so as not to overwhelm him. I feel like knowledge is power, and that he NEEDS to have the right info, NEEDS to be empowered as far as understanding consequences of his actions.of mine who teaches middle school directed me to.
Yes!!!!
Totally agree.
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| Posted 5/14/10 9:00 AM |
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joenick
Us
Member since 6/06 9370 total posts
Name:
Valerie...aka...Do Me A Favor?
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
Posted by rojerono
: "When a man and woman really love each other they can give each other a very special cuddle"
Is THAT what we did? That was SOME cuddle!
I haven't had "the talk" yet with Nicholas (8 yrs old). He blushes when we even talk about girls in his class.
I'm gonna wait a bit, but I do want to speak to him BEFORE he gets his convoluted info from a classmate.
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| Posted 5/14/10 9:48 AM |
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
Posted by joenick
Posted by rojerono
: "When a man and woman really love each other they can give each other a very special cuddle"
As far as my DD is concerned, DH and I only "cuddled" 4 times (when each kid was conceived) I didn't explain it that way; it's just the conclusion she came up with.
Then she told me that she wanted another sister...
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| Posted 5/14/10 9:54 AM |
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joenick
Us
Member since 6/06 9370 total posts
Name:
Valerie...aka...Do Me A Favor?
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
Posted by carolyns4cupcakes
Posted by joenick
Posted by rojerono
: "When a man and woman really love each other they can give each other a very special cuddle"
As far as my DD is concerned, DH and I only "cuddled" 4 times (when each kid was conceived) I didn't explain it that way; it's just the conclusion she came up with.
Then she told me that she wanted another sister...
Time to get cuddling again! 
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| Posted 5/14/10 9:55 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 9/1/2011 3:11:13 PM.
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| Posted 5/14/10 10:26 AM |
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BellaRock
I am all the Me I will ever Be
Member since 5/06 9746 total posts
Name:
She who shall remain nameless
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
I haven't even started the talk yet. DS is 7 so I have some time. I think DH will have the talk with him when he is 9 or 10.
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| Posted 5/14/10 10:58 AM |
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Kathy
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/05 718 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
I am dreading this conversation with my 9 yr old, she just seems not ready yet to grasp it and I can't imagine me telling it yet
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| Posted 5/14/10 12:48 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
I had to have a mock conversation about this because I overheard Damien and his friend talking about two older kids wanting to have sex with each other
I asked him what he thought sex meant and he said when you kiss when your naked So I just gave him the it is something grown-ups who love each other do. I used the special kind of cuddle thing too! It went right over his head so hopefully I have some time. His school goes up to 5th grade so I know he hears it on the bus.
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| Posted 5/14/10 1:25 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
OMG my DD is seven, yes, SEVEN and she asked me about sex yesterday. I talked to her a little bit but I thought I was going to DIE. I thought I had a couple of years before I had to tell her anything
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| Posted 5/14/10 4:17 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
I have a friend who starts talking to her kids early, little by little. One day, during lunch, her son asked her what 69 meant. She told him. He got up, threw out his sandwich and told his mom that she ruined his lunch. So funny. She is always so open with him.
JUst the thought of that convo
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| Posted 5/14/10 9:22 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
My theory is...
Once they start asking questions you need to start giving answers.
If you wait until they are truly ready for all this stuff (let's say age 13) they are going to be too embarrassed to talk to you.
The girls were 8 years old when I was pregnant with DS. Sure enough, while driving in the car, they asked me how Caden got in my belly....
I dont believe in using silly names for things so I essentially went into what makes a boy a boy and a girl a girl...A inserts into B...etc etc...
Now at 11 they understand the fundamentals of how babies are made and now some of the more "mature" stuff that goes along with sex as well. They arent afraid to come home from school...after a "lesson" in sex ed from one of their friends and ask me if what so and so said was true.
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| Posted 5/15/10 7:36 AM |
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Elizabeth
Mom of Three
Member since 9/05 7900 total posts
Name:
"MOMMY!!!"
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
Posted by hbugal
My theory is...
Once they start asking questions you need to start giving answers.
If you wait until they are truly ready for all this stuff (let's say age 13) they are going to be too embarrassed to talk to you.
The girls were 8 years old when I was pregnant with DS. Sure enough, while driving in the car, they asked me how Caden got in my belly....
I dont believe in using silly names for things so I essentially went into what makes a boy a boy and a girl a girl...A inserts into B...etc etc...
Now at 11 they understand the fundamentals of how babies are made and now some of the more "mature" stuff that goes along with sex as well. They arent afraid to come home from school...after a "lesson" in sex ed from one of their friends and ask me if what so and so said was true.
I'm learning already on this board! You make a great BTDT point, Heather. I never thought of it but it definitely makes sense that there would be a window of opportunity before they are too embarrassed. Now that I read it, I can totally see it happening. Good to know.
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| Posted 5/15/10 8:01 AM |
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Re: Moms of older kids...did you have "the talk" yet?
Posted by Elizabeth
Posted by hbugal
My theory is...
Once they start asking questions you need to start giving answers.
If you wait until they are truly ready for all this stuff (let's say age 13) they are going to be too embarrassed to talk to you.
The girls were 8 years old when I was pregnant with DS. Sure enough, while driving in the car, they asked me how Caden got in my belly....
I dont believe in using silly names for things so I essentially went into what makes a boy a boy and a girl a girl...A inserts into B...etc etc...
Now at 11 they understand the fundamentals of how babies are made and now some of the more "mature" stuff that goes along with sex as well. They arent afraid to come home from school...after a "lesson" in sex ed from one of their friends and ask me if what so and so said was true.
I'm learning already on this board! You make a great BTDT point, Heather. I never thought of it but it definitely makes sense that there would be a window of opportunity before they are too embarrassed. Now that I read it, I can totally see it happening. Good to know.
Agree too!
Even though my DD knows A inserts to B and etc there will still be students talking...
The other day a girl was talking about sex at the playground. She told my DD that she liked a certain boy and wanted to have sex with him and have a baby.   Hi- she's in 4th grade. The girl obviously doesn't understand what she's saying.
The girl also was talking about rape and totally gave my DD the wrong definition. So yes...I had to explain rape to her. The girl also told her that if you don't get your period by 18, you can't make babies. Then she said she "thinks" she's getting her period b/c she sees globs and blood when she wipes. It freaked my DD out! I am so grateful that my DD came to me with all of this. I would have NEVER of went to my mother b/c she never left that line of communication open. I found out about sex on my own. I don't want that for my kids. I want to be the one to tell them so that when kids talk (which is inevitable) my kids will know fact from fib.
I also remind her all the time that she is to NEVER to discuss sex with her friends or repeat our conversations with her friends- even if she hears someone giving false info. She is to keep her info to herself.
I spoke to her teacher about this girl. I don't want the kid getting in trouble - I just want her to lay off the biology lesson to my DD as well as other students.
Message edited 5/15/2010 11:59:53 AM.
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| Posted 5/15/10 11:57 AM |
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