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More 1st Birthday questions (long)

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lmnscc
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/07

598 total posts

Name:

More 1st Birthday questions (long)

Okay, so I posted the other day about my DH wanting to take whatever monitary gifts my twins get at their first birthday party to go towards paying for the party. I told him this was stealing, etc. Well, it seems that it's either letting him do this or not having a big 1st birthday party at a restaurant at all. Our immediate family is over 20, so there will be a lot of people there, so we can't have it at our house.
Last night I was dead against this because I truly feel that it is wrong, however, do I just let there birthday pass without the huge celebration I always thought we'd have (I never thought we'd have kids, so this is huge in many ways) or do I let him use the money and try and put it back myself one day? I am a SAHM now and I understand him wanting a large safety net (our savings), but truly we could do this without having to take their gifts and we'd still be okay. He's just a worry wart.
What would you do?
Oh, and secondly, he said why not go away on a week vacation for their birthday. Then at least we'll get something more out of it than just 4 hours. While I agree that a vacation would be nice, not at one years old. They don't even sleep through the night yet (aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!). There's no way I'm taking them to another State, etc. What gets me is that he is willing to spend the same money for a vacation, but feels the need to take their money if we have a party.
He did say he feels bad now about it, but didn't say he isn't going to do it.
Thanks for reading.

Posted 1/13/09 9:17 AM
 
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.

Member since 9/07

16106 total posts

Name:
Tina

Re: More 1st Birthday questions (long)

JMO .. but the vacation idea sounds more of a gift for you and DH than for the DC. The first birthday party yes they wont remember, but its still a celebration for them.. and their milestone from infant to toddlerhood. I dont agree with taking the money from your children to pay for it, unless you planned on giving it back to them with interest. How about just having something small for them, if you cant afford to do something big.. like pizza and cake?

Posted 1/13/09 9:25 AM
 

2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair

Member since 5/06

19861 total posts

Name:
Best Wife & Mommy

Re: More 1st Birthday questions (long)

Posted by BabySammie

JMO .. but the vacation idea sounds more of a gift for you and DH than for the DC. The first birthday party yes they wont remember, but its still a celebration for them.. and their milestone from infant to toddlerhood. I dont agree with taking the money from your children to pay for it, unless you planned on giving it back to them with interest. How about just having something small for them, if you cant afford to do something big.. like pizza and cake?



ITA!

Posted 1/13/09 9:53 AM
 

lmnscc
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/07

598 total posts

Name:

Re: More 1st Birthday questions (long)

Posted by BabySammie

JMO .. but the vacation idea sounds more of a gift for you and DH than for the DC. The first birthday party yes they wont remember, but its still a celebration for them.. and their milestone from infant to toddlerhood. I dont agree with taking the money from your children to pay for it, unless you planned on giving it back to them with interest. How about just having something small for them, if you cant afford to do something big.. like pizza and cake?



That's the thing. We can afford a big party. He's just being difficult. Mainly he said he just doesn't believe in big first birthday parties. But for me, since our journed to conceive was long and difficult, this means soooo much more than JUST a birthday. I've tried to relay that to him. He just worries so much about money. As for the pizza and cake, if we don't have a huge party, I'll have our siblings and parents come over, which I said is a lot - 22 people. I'll cook and make a nice party, but I wanted extended family and friends to be there and I just don't have the room in my house.
This is a one time deal. I feel like if I let it pass, we'll regret it.

Posted 1/13/09 10:26 AM
 

hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about

Member since 11/07

3321 total posts

Name:
Lisa

Re: More 1st Birthday questions (long)

i can totally understand why you would want a big 1st birthday party!!
but i guess given the facts, i dont think taking their birthday money as your dh suggested is a good idea. I think that the money should be put away for them. plus, a lot of people end up buying presents for birthday parties, not necessarily give money.-therefore any money they do get should go to their savings. i think they will appreciate a nice savings account in years to come over using that money towards a party they wont remember.

what if you do a big party when they are 5? they will really appreciate it and be able to enjoy it better.

i say, have it at the house.. decorate the place really nice and buy a big beautiful stunning cake
and have that big party when the kids are a little bit older...

hth!! good luck!!
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Posted 1/13/09 10:49 AM
 
 

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