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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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More questions about dear preggo friend...UPDATE! Can you give me advice?!
due to her m/c she is scared to celebrate this and isn't telling anyone for a few months. Still, I can see she is excited and I want to send roses (but what if guests are at her house and see pink and blue roses? Kinda obvious) and get her Belly Laughs...b/c I'm just thrilled and happy for her. But should I wait until she's ready to celebrate herself??? I think maybe I should wait at least until January, but then again, I want to celebrate this. She deserves it; nothing about her experience has been "normal"--as she got preg via IVF. I told her she and her DH should go out and buy an EPT just for fun, and she agreed! Advice?
Message edited 12/12/2006 4:09:27 PM.
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Posted 12/11/06 8:38 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
I would wait until she is in the clear.
the first trimester is so crucial.
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| Posted 12/11/06 8:39 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
I would do it now.
As someone who has had a M/C I know how it feels when you get PG agagin and while you want to keep it between just a few, you still are DYING to feel excited and want to feel this is special, it must be hard to not share with everyone and yet she probably does so much want to be excited and acknowledging it now is also a way of saying.....lets celebrate, this time will be different...ya know??
Message edited 12/11/2006 8:41:18 PM.
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| Posted 12/11/06 8:40 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
Posted by dm24angel
I would do it now.
As someone who has had a M/C I know I would want to feel this is special, it must be hard to not share with everyone and yet she probably does so much want to be excited and acknowledging it now is also a way of saying.....lets celebrate, this time will be different...ya know??
Donna, I'm so happy for her....and it looks like twins! She is just so scared; I can't say I blame her...but I want to celebrate with her, just as I cried w/her when she m/c-d.
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| Posted 12/11/06 8:41 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
I have the opposite reaction of Donna.
I told everyone that knew we were pregnant NOT to get me anything pregnancy related until at least 12 weeks.
I wanted to be in the clear.
But I think flowers (maybe yellow ones or something neutral) or a nice card would be fine.
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| Posted 12/11/06 8:42 PM |
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Melbernai
I am a lucky Momma!
Member since 7/05 15652 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
How far along is she?
I would maybe send a little card or something. Something small to let her know you are excited and are thinking of her, without it being overly obvious to anyone else who might be around!
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| Posted 12/11/06 8:43 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
Posted by LRusso
Posted by dm24angel
I would do it now.
As someone who has had a M/C I know I would want to feel this is special, it must be hard to not share with everyone and yet she probably does so much want to be excited and acknowledging it now is also a way of saying.....lets celebrate, this time will be different...ya know??
Donna, I'm so happy for her....and it looks like twins! She is just so scared; I can't say I blame her...but I want to celebrate with her, just as I cried w/her when she m/c-d.
your a GOOD friend and she probably appreciates your friendship so much.
I would get something , even if you decide its small.
Like I said, the best thing my best friend did for me was say" this time is different and made me feel OK about being happy when I was scared to death"
Im sure whatever you do will be wonderful
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| Posted 12/11/06 8:43 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
I would wait. My SIL went through something similar. M/C around Thanksgiving last year. Got PG again around the same time of year this year and M/C again.
She was positively devastated.
While PG the 2nd time she was sooo nervous and sooo scared and very pessimistic and wary about being excited. What made it worse was that she felt that if she m/c again, she would be "letting everybody down" because everyone was so excited for her and "knew" she wouldn't m/c again.
The first time around I had bought her a congrats card (she also wasn't telling anyone at the time) and thankfully waited just a few days too long to drop it in the mail. She m/c before I even got a chance to send it.
But can you imagine if I had sent it? It would've gotten there just days after her m/c. 
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| Posted 12/11/06 8:49 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
You girls are giving me lots to think about....I'm a little conflicted b/c I don't want to upset her. She did call me Auntie Lana today....so I KNOW she's hopeful and excited!
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| Posted 12/11/06 8:56 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
maybe come right out and ask her.
Can I do something to celebrate? Or would you rather I waited?
If shes against it Im sure she will come right out and say it?
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| Posted 12/11/06 8:57 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
Posted by dm24angel
maybe come right out and ask her.
Can I do something to celebrate? Or would you rather I waited?
If shes against it Im sure she will come right out and say it?
That's great advice. I say do that!!
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| Posted 12/11/06 8:58 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
Posted by leighla
Posted by dm24angel
maybe come right out and ask her.
Can I do something to celebrate? Or would you rather I waited?
If shes against it Im sure she will come right out and say it?
That's great advice. I say do that!!
I did want to surprise her with something great, but maybe this is best....thanks!
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| Posted 12/11/06 9:02 PM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
How about surprising her with something small and when she begins to tell people, go crazy for her
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| Posted 12/11/06 9:13 PM |
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Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother
Member since 5/06 8041 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
Posted by dooodles
How about surprising her with something small and when she begins to tell people, go crazy for her
This is what I was going to say. Maybe a card or something like that now and then the pink and blue flowers after she's into the 2nd trimester
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| Posted 12/12/06 3:10 PM |
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LuvMy2Girls
@>---------
Member since 5/05 11165 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
Posted by Little-J-mommy-to-be
Posted by dooodles
How about surprising her with something small and when she begins to tell people, go crazy for her
This is what I was going to say. Maybe a card or something like that now and then the pink and blue flowers after she's into the 2nd trimester
That would be a wonderful way to celebrate her going into the 2nd trimester with a nice beautiful bouquet of pink/blue roses.
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| Posted 12/12/06 3:26 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
How about maybe getting her something small - like a journal or something where she can start to keep track of things. That's meaningful - and I'm sure she will be so excited to start writing about the little ones!
I had no problems in the first tri - and I was scared in the beginning. It's a very weird time. You want to be so excited and jump up and down - but then you also think "It's still early and so much can happen" that you don't want to let yourself down.
Either way - what you are doing is very nice!
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| Posted 12/12/06 4:04 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...
Today, she is spotting pink and just now she called me saying she has clumps of blood....is this bad? She's scared it's m/c again. For those of you who think this is me....I ASSURE you. It isn't. I'm just a good, concerned, and now, terrified friend.....anyway, she just called the doctor.
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| Posted 12/12/06 4:08 PM |
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LuvMy2Girls
@>---------
Member since 5/05 11165 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...UPDATE! Can you give me advice?!
Posted by LRusso
Today, she is spotting pink and just now she called me saying she has clumps of blood....is this bad? She's scared it's m/c again. For those of you who think this is me....I ASSURE you. It isn't. I'm just a good, concerned, and now, terrified friend.....anyway, she just called the doctor.
Of goodness
Did she say if it was red? brown?
I hope everything is ok
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| Posted 12/12/06 4:11 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...UPDATE! Can you give me advice?!
 I'm not sure about the spotting but I hope that everything is ok with her. Please keep us posted!!!!
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| Posted 12/12/06 4:11 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...UPDATE! Can you give me advice?!
This morning, I thought the pink, smooth blood (sorry, TMI) was normal, because I've lurked on here and read that people can spot a little...but now, she's clotting???? Oh, god....she got preg via IVF; the first preg and m/c was via IVF, too....it's the only way. The whole retrieval thing was a nightmare for her and her DH....ugh....
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| Posted 12/12/06 4:13 PM |
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Aga
hello baby Albert
Member since 9/05 7750 total posts
Name:
Aga
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...UPDATE! Can you give me advice?!
it is different for everybody... I hope your friend is ok
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| Posted 12/12/06 4:16 PM |
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Re: More questions about dear preggo friend...UPDATE! Can you give me advice?!
For your friend
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| Posted 12/12/06 4:20 PM |
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