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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
I don't know if I am overanalyzing this...as I have a tendency to do.
But my 2+week old doesn't seem to care for being held and never seems to want the pacifier. I thought this was something ALL babies enjoyed. I read so many times that most babies just want to be carried around, touched, etc, and my baby doesn't seem to care for these things at all. What she does love...
My baby loves to eat and eats alot. She loves to sleep and can sleep for hours in a carseat or even the swing. She will sleep in our arms but doesn't seem to NEED this like most babies do and of course, it's worrying me. Sometimes she will even get restless if you have her in your arms too long and start wiggling.
I don't know if she doesn't need to be held (or use a pacifier) b/c she is content already and just a good baby, or b/c something is wrong. My first worry of being a mom and I can't handle it. Sigh.
ETA - In addition, I feel like I am neglecting her b/c she is content without my attention, carrying around, etc. So other than feeding and holding for a while after feeding and changing, she doesn't seem to need me like I thought she would.
Message edited 3/25/2010 10:43:00 PM.
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Posted 12/9/08 8:30 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
Well, there's always the extreme - the baby who needs to be held ALL THE TIME, and that's really hard...
Your baby DOES need to be held, but doesn't depend on it - big difference. That is a good thing, try not to worry!!
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| Posted 12/9/08 8:33 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
i don't think you have anything to worry about. i think it's great that she is able to be happy and content by herself. she probably loves when you hold her!
and as for the pacifier issue - my DS didn't take a pacifier until he was (i think) 9 weeks old - he just didn't like any of the ones i got him, until we got the soothies! he LOVES those.
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| Posted 12/9/08 8:33 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
DS NEEDED to be held CONSTANTLY.... 
However, DD never *needed* to be held. She was almost 180 degrees from DS. She was just as content if we put her in her crib as if we were holding her. She also didn't want a paci until she was a few months old.
Your DD is totally normal...
There is NEVER anything that ALL babies do or want. Some DC never want a paci, some want it from day 1, most are in-between somewhere.....
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| Posted 12/9/08 8:36 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
awww I know - it's so hard not to worry about every little thing - it sounds to me like she is a great baby. My son was like this in the beginning and then at about 4-6 weeks we couldn't put him down! They are constantly changing from day to day at that point!
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| Posted 12/9/08 8:36 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
Posted by headoverheels
i don't think you have anything to worry about. i think it's great that she is able to be happy and content by herself. she probably loves when you hold her!
and as for the pacifier issue - my DS didn't take a pacifier until he was (i think) 9 weeks old - he just didn't like any of the ones i got him, until we got the soothies! he LOVES those.
She does like the soothies but I guess b/c she never seems to be upset about anything (only gets fussy when she wants to eat and then once fed stops fussing), she doesn't really take it much. She was very particular with nipple shape and the soothies are the ones she does like,but really doesn't suck unless hungry.
I just worry she doesn't seem to need as much attention/need to be soothed as many say their babies did. Is it b/c she is content or b/c there is something wrong?
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| Posted 12/9/08 8:37 AM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
I think that its great that your baby can self soothe. Jacob was the total opposite...he needed to be held 24/7. Not all babies want/need a pacifier. Jacob was never interested in it.
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| Posted 12/9/08 8:52 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
My son never took to a paci or his thumb. Some babies just don't need them.
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| Posted 12/9/08 8:59 AM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
In regards to the pacifier and certain bottle nipples..have you looked at her tongue to see if she's tongue tied? DS was and he never took to a paci and we always had to use square nipples.
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| Posted 12/9/08 9:01 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9509 total posts
Name:
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
Well - I am reading your avatar and it says your baby is a month early? and she is only two weeks old? give it another 3 weeks and your baby will wake up! If you ever have to read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, it explains that babies born early usually sleep A LOT until a few days after their due date. So if I were you I would take advantage of the extra sleep now!!!!
About the paci - I had to force it on my son. He would spit it out. I think it's somewhat common for babies not to like the paci.
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| Posted 12/9/08 9:21 AM |
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gottaluvmusik
Just the 4 of us
Member since 12/06 3554 total posts
Name:
Andrea
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
cadence was the same way. She is 19 months now and still only wants to be held if something happens or if she is sick. She has never been one for me to hold her a lot.
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| Posted 12/9/08 9:23 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
Posted by lululu
Well - I am reading your avatar and it says your baby is a month early? and she is only two weeks old? give it another 3 weeks and your baby will wake up! If you ever have to read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, it explains that babies born early usually sleep A LOT until a few days after their due date. So if I were you I would take advantage of the extra sleep now!!!!
Yes, she was 4 weeks early but only was in NICU for one day, no real issues that we are aware of. She was 7.4 lbs when born. I actually thought maybe she would be needier b/c of being so early.
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| Posted 12/9/08 9:37 AM |
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sarahbelle
Little drummer boy
Member since 5/05 2377 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
Posted by Goobster
ETA - In addition, I feel like I am neglecting her b/c she is content without my attention, carrying around, etc, etc. So other than feeding and holding for a while after feeding and changing, she doesn't seem to need me like I thought she would.
My little guy sounds similar. Sometimes he seems to prefer to be on his own, he whimpers and wiggles if we hold him for too long after he eats. I felt like I was neglecting him by letting him be on his own, but he seems so much more content, so I stay nearby and sing or just talk to him while he "plays" by himself. It's hard to think of a 9 week old being independent, but I guess that is what it is.
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| Posted 12/9/08 9:38 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
Posted by Summerrluvv
In regards to the pacifier and certain bottle nipples..have you looked at her tongue to see if she's tongue tied? DS was and he never took to a paci and we always had to use square nipples.
I haven't looked at her tongue but the only nipples she likes are Playtex shape and soothies shape (most like mother supposedly but we bottle feed only). I will try to see her tongue. Thanks,
Thank you, each one of you for making me feel better when I just want to  today for some reason (probably hormonal).
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| Posted 12/9/08 9:39 AM |
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mrsv
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Member since 7/06 2969 total posts
Name:
lol
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
My DD has times when she just wants to be alone and play by herself in the swing or bouncy seat and seems to get annoyed if we hold her during those times. I also felt like I was neglecting her, but its nice that she can sooth and play by herself. I just sit by the bouncy seat and talk to her so she knows I'm there.
She also does not like her pacifier. Only occasionally when she needs to be soothed, she will take the pacifier and then spit it out after a minute.
I am sure everything is ok :)
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| Posted 12/9/08 9:52 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
Count your blessings. My Ds was colica and had to be in your arms 90% of the time. As much as you think that would be great, it was not. I had to walk around with him in the Bjorn for hours, I couldn't even sit down or he'd cry. Every child is different and they will al go through phases, so enjoy the time to relax now, because it may shift in a week or so.
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| Posted 12/9/08 10:10 AM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
I am sure it's totally normal like everyone else said. My 2 nephews never took to a binkie after they were a couple months old. My niece...is 7...still uses the binkie 
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| Posted 12/9/08 10:16 AM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
Don't worry. She just sounds quite content Sheis also getting that "being held" feeling from the car seat and swing.
Anthony is the same way. I actually asked the ped about it and that is what he told me. I think sometimes we need to snuggle more than they do!You are doing a great job, mom
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| Posted 12/9/08 10:26 AM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
I agree dont worry!
DS hated the paci...everyone tried with numerous brands and he just didnt want any part of it!
DS also until 4 weeks didnt need to be held I can remember him being in his bouncy seat sleeping in the living room and me coming on to the computer and doing emails saying how bored I was as DS was such a low maintenance baby!
Well at 4 weeks he woke up and has been demanding ever since, he is a good kid but now he wants attention all the time!
My niece used to cry to be put down, she just didnt need to be coddled, where as her brother, used to need to be held 24/7. Every baby is different.
Dont worry, enjoy the peace as it wont last forever!
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| Posted 12/9/08 10:33 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
I would count your blessings and go with it. If she were 3 months old and didn't like being held/touched whatever then maybe I would be concerned but honestly at that age I held Sydnie because I wanted to not because SHE necessarily wanted me to She would just sleep for hours either in someone's arms or not, it didn't seem to matter. Things changed around 5 weeks or so. Don't worry
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| Posted 12/9/08 3:20 PM |
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lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
Name:
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
wow your DD seems like she can self soothe very well! nothing to be alarmed about, it's a great thing! my DS can not even put himself to sleep and has a screaming fit before every single nap so he is totally opposite of your DD. HOld her as much as you want now, they are only little for such a short time
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| Posted 12/9/08 3:28 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
DS was the same way - just hung out in his basinet or in your arms - he didn't care. He was sooo mellow. He didn't take to the paci until about 12 weeks or so.
Just recently, at 14 months, he's beginning to put us to work He's finally figured out that a little demanding will get him so much more!
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| Posted 12/9/08 3:32 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
This was very much my DD and still is. The only time she likes to cuddle is when she is ready for bed. Even then sometimes she takes my hand away from her and says, NO touching. Its pretty funny.
She also hated the pacificer. 
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| Posted 12/9/08 3:32 PM |
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DC HJJ M
Member since 8/07 3732 total posts
Name:
Crystal
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
I dont think you need to worry either. My DD never took a pacifier and in the end im glad she didnt. She also never seemed like she needed to be held when she was a baby but now at almost 9 months old unless shes really into playing she always want to be held.
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| Posted 12/9/08 3:41 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: My baby doesn't seem to need to be held and it's worrying me
Give her time
At that age DS was just a blob - didn't need much - just sleep.
It wasn't until about 4 wks when the witching hour kicked in and he was more out of sorts and needed more attention from us.
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| Posted 12/9/08 3:42 PM |
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