My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Well i have all these things going on ..
That god for this web site. My Bf for years (since i was 5 ) called me up and asked me to co sign a loan for her.
She is in Credit Card Debt and she doesnt want to tell her DH, I asked her how she did this and her DH is so petty with the money that he gives her 20, for a day that her 3 kids are off to go to lunch and try to do an activity. My Bf is a great Mom and does everything for her kids. So she said that she would just use her Credit Card and now she is in a whole. Do I co sign ? How can I help my BF and what advice or action can I take to help her get out of this horrible mess she is in . She is a great woman I had to add this .. She would give you the shirt off her back if you asked her... Help what a jam I am in ...
Do you want to change shoes with me right now ,, (just kidding ) I know the answer to that question NO !!!

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

If you co-sign a loan you will be held responsible if she doesn't re-pay it which it doesnt sound like she will be able to so I wouldn't suggest it.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

I know you want to help but tell her no. Tell her you lover her and you will help her come up with creative ways to save money to pay it off but that you and your DH don't think it is a good idea. Money, religion and politics ---- three subjects to keep friends out of.....

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

This is long but it's because I have been in your shoes.

Do not cosign for her - BF or not. I cosigned for student loan for a former friend and I am still in the process of making loan payments.

The advice you can offer is to tell your BF to tell her DH about her credit card debt and let him payoff her credit card or cosign a loan instead of asking you to help her get a loan. It's possible that her DH has the money to pay off her credit card and they do not need a loan. It sounds like she is afraid to tell her DH that she spent more than the $20 a day and had to charge some stuff for the kids. You may want to suggest marriage counseling for them as well. Money issues are the primary reason for divorce - feeling like one spouse does not contribute enough, not spending it wisely or having opposite spending habits.

It sounds like your BF does not work. If this is the case, how is she to pay you back or make loan payments with $20 a day that her DH gives her for the 3 kids

I currently make the payments on a 2001 student loan for $15,000 that I cosigned for a former friend from grad school for her advanced degree - a degree she does not even use since she decided to be an actress instead of use her LLM in tax law. I make the payment and she sends me a check/money order as reimbursement - which is ALWAYS LATE I had to get her to sign a promissory note to make sure I was not just stuck making her loan payments.

Because she is always late paying the bill, I make the payment myself since I could not trust her to not jeopardize my credit. I only found out about the late payments when the loan servicer contacted me after she was already 30 or so days late. She never even told me I was in the process of buying a house and thank God I found out and made the payment by phone before the late payment hit my credit report.

Thankfully all of the consecutive, on-time payments are done and we can get a cosigner release processed this month. Assuming her credit is decent enough (which she claims it is now) she can carry this loan on her own. Her long time boyfriend (about 9 years at the time) would not cosign so I should have known something was wrong.

Assuming things with your BF and this potential cosigned loan go bad; her DH does not know about the credit card debt; she never tells her DH that you cosigned the loan; and he keeps only giving her $20 a day for 3 kids then her DH probably won't be inclined to bail her out at a later date (or bail you out) for keeping such a huge secret from him.

ETA - I just remembered her birthday was 12/9 - she is 46 years old and still completely irresponsible. Instead of trying to get a loan to payoff the debt she has me tied to forever she is investigating a loan for plastic surgery and researching a trip to Egypt.

Message edited 12/10/2006 2:54:27 PM.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Don't do it.

If she is the friend that can't say no to other friends or her children then she will be more prone to default and get herself in trouble again.

I know because my Brother and Mother are like that.

She needs to buck it up, tell her husband and THEY (as a married couple) need to remedy the situation and find a way and means to get her more money into her budget if she needs.

Honestly, Dh and I would be headed down a terrible path in our marriage if I EVER found out that he went behind my back and had a friend cosign a loan to help hide and fix his CC debt.

Also there are numerous worse case scenerios what if a family emergency comes up, what if she can't make a payment, what if her or her husband are injured--pass away and can't make payments are you 100% ready to take over the loan?

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

DON'T DO IT!!!!
its the worst decision you could ever make. "thinking withyour heart" on this one will only lead to bad things. Its HER issue, not yours... and the fact that she doesn't have an understanding DH does NOT mean that you should assume her debt becasue of it (which si what you WILL DO if you cosign).

She's an adult- she'll figure out a better way to handle it without jeopardizing her friend's financial status.

I really can't emphasize enough how you should NOT do it.. maybe try to picture yourself not being able to give your children what they want and need, b/c your friend screwed up your credit... its not just the 'worst case scenario'.. its a VERY LIKELY scenario.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

i agree with the majority here, don't do it. it will end your friendship with her. she needs to talk to her dh about the money issues. i see that you want to help, but you are only enabling her here.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

One thing I learned is to NEVER mix business with family/friends. If you cosign it will be a business transaction that if she cant repay, you will be held responsible for. If she is a true friend, she will understand why it is not a wise idea. Good Luck!

Re:

.

Message edited 8/7/2011 11:37:36 PM.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

I always go by this rule someone once told me....

Dont LOAN money to family and friends... give it if you have it... but dont give it with the premise they have to pay you back. If you need the money back, dont give it.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

I agree, do not loan your friend money. It will only lead to problems down the raod and even if it doesn't she would always feel like she owes you something and that would ultimately strain the relationship anyway. It sounds like she needs to work this out with her husband, keeping any secrets in a marriage is a bad thing.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Your friends sounds like she doesn't know what she is doing. She needs to work things out with her DH. Things do not sounds too healthy over there.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

These two things don't mix, DO NOT sign for her. I was asked to do this and I refused, very politely and explained my position. In the end, they understood.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Don't do it.

You are a good person for wanting to help, but don't.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Did you ever end up talking to her?????

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

I wouldn't -- I don't like mixing money and friends.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Don't do it. You will forever be responsible for the debt if she ever defaults. Also- any default will be on your credit report.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Can you refer her to a credit counselling service?? Good Luck, but I wouldn't co-sign..

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

I would probably not co-sign, best friend or not.

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Re: My BF ask me to co sign a loan ???

Don't do it...if her family won't cosign there is most likely a good reason. Your credit will get messed up and it will get ugly.

#1 rule of friendship: Never ever lend money...whether its $5 or $5000.