My dad started Hospice yesterday

His cancer didn't respond to the chemo and radiation. It has spread to several bone sites (his original diagnosis was esophageal cancer, it was caught way too late). My parents live about 700 miles from here so I'm driving home Thursday to see them.
Does anyone have experience with Hospice? I was told by a friend that if I ask the nurse for information that they'll give it to you straight--no sugar-coating. Dad's dr.'s are vague about time we have left and what to expect...I just want to be prepared and help Mom have stuff in place when she needs it.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
thanks

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

Even the hospice nurses can't really predict what is going to happen. They will do their best but every patient is different. Sorry you have to go through this.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

Have no clue on how hospice works... But my prayers go out to you and your family.....

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

I'm so sorry. My aunt used Hospice in her final months...And the pp is right, they can't really predict how long (until it gets down to the final days), but they do give more honest answers about WHAT is going to happen. My aunt had lung cancer and they said she gradually would become more unable to breathe, but if they upped the painkillers it would make it a more quick and painless death, which is what they wound up doing.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

We used Hospice care for me dad last year before he passed from kidney failure.

The hospice people that we used were excellent. They gave him meds to keep him comfortable. He was out of it the whole time he was under hospice care, but we were happy knowing that he was comfortable and not in pain.

They will tell you everything you need to know. No sugar coating. The hospice people sat down with us and answered every question my family had.

I wish you and your family the best
Scott

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

Message edited 8/28/2007 8:25:30 AM.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

First, let me say that I am so sorry to hear abo ut your dad. The decision to transition over to hospice is not an easy one. My mom passed away earlier this year from cancer and we placed her in, in home hospice care.

I found that the nurses where totally honest with us. But they also provided alot of literature. One of the booklets that were given to us had a "timeline" based on the persons symptoms. So, we were also able to tell about how much longer she had.

Hospice is a hard decision, but based upon my moms diagnosis we knew we had to. Honestly, it made the situation so much better for her and our family.



Please FM me if you need more info or just need to vent.

Message edited 8/28/2007 8:42:18 AM.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

I am so sorry to hear this.

I have had experiences with hospice care, both in patient and at home hospice.
My MIL recently passed away. She spent approximately 10 days in an hospice facility (in Florida) and then passed.

The entire staff at the hospice center were amazing...from the aids, to the nurses, social workers, and MDs.
Initially, my DH had an extremely difficult time with the idea that we were no longer going to fight. The nurses and social workers were amazing, they got through to my husband when no one else, including myself, could. By the time we left hospice to come back to NY, my DH accepted what was happening, and he was able to say goodbye.

I also volunteer with Good Shephard Hospice here in NY. I know this organization addresses the physical, emotional, spiritual and social need of the patient with deep regard for the individual person. Pain and symptom management are priorities, and the family is supported throughout this process.

If you have any other questions, please FM me.
Once again, I am sorry you are going through this

Message edited 8/28/2007 8:48:19 AM.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

My MIL was in Hospice care for 4 days before she passed. The staff (at Franklin General Hospital) was amazing. They made the family so comfortable and answered all of our questions. They kept my MIL comfortable in her last days as well. It was a relaxed atmosphere (quiet hallways, low lighting). Not the hustle and bustle of a hospital. It was just how my MIL wanted it.

So sorry to hear about your father.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

the hospice nurses were very honest with us with my Grandmother. They were able to tell us when my grandmother had less than a week left. But until then they really couldn't pin point a time

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

So sorry to hear you are going through this

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

So sad to hear this. I hope that he goes in comfort and with his family by his side.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

Many, many and for you and your family.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

I'm so very sorry.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

this absolutely breaks my heart for you...i am so sorry you are going through this. i just recently went through it with my mom and the experiences of all the pp are very similar to ours. hospice WAS great, they got her the meds she needed, gave it to us straight and left us alone when we wanted. we only had hospice there fro about 6 days because we were that close to the end, so most of the time, i just laid in bed with her while the nurse sat in the other room.
the literature that the pp mentioned was very helpful as well. you'll be in my thoughs... you're blessed to have your mom to lean on and her you....coming from someone who just lived this, that is priceless. be strong <3

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

i'm sorry your going through this. my father was in calvary hospice with lung cancer that spread to his bones and brain- he survived for almost 6 months there. they were almost going to release him but he got worse. it was a good environment to be in for him- no restrictions, he could eat what he wanted, they let him smoke (cause at the point what did it matter), they even came around with a drink cart at night. They just let him live out his days how he needed them to be. he was out of it alot of the time, but there were a few months that he was very responsive and conversing. it was sad, but they help you prepare for what will happen. IMO, it's better knowing that it will be happening than a sudden death.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

Message edited 8/28/2007 9:53:24 AM.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

We had in home hospice care the last month of my father's life. They did not sugar coat anything for us. But at that point, I don't think they are expected to. Their main responsibility was to make my dad comfortable in his last days, whatever it took. And they did.
It was very comforting to us that he was in his home with his family and not dragged around.
I am terribly sorry what you are dealing with. My prayers are with you and your family.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

My FIL was in hospice for less than 1 week before he passed. He had lung cancer.

Message edited 8/28/2007 11:09:10 AM.

Re: My dad started Hospice yesterday

My father was in a palliative care unit at North Shore Hospital for many months before his passing. They look to reduce the symptoms of what is ailing the person so their existence can be as pain free as possible.

It is very hard to deal with and I wish I could offer you words of comfort, but when someone is going through this, I stumble. I try to remember what everyone said to me and my family when Dad was sick, but it was all a blur. People would pray for miracles, but after months of suffering, the only miracle that I wanted for him, was that he had no consciousness of what was happening to him because he would be scared and I couldn't bear that. The other miracle would be that he knew no pain.

Nurses and doctors will be blatantly honest with you. For us, thats what we needed.

Please FM me if you need further support.