Re: my heart hurts

Posted by Linda1003

No advice but reading this just made up my mind about having another child! That must have been soo hard to read!!!

Re: my heart hurts

Re: my heart hurts

Your son is adorable

Being an only child and after reading his letter, it brings back some memories. Always asking my mom for a sister or brother as my Christmas or birthday present. And asking for a sibling was always my one wish when I blew out my candles on my birthday. Fast forward to today, while it would be nice to have a sibling, I actually like not having to share my parents with someone else and my kids get their grandparents all to themselves and they spoil the cr@p out of them.

And I'm sure when/if you have another baby, once the baby starts walking around, touching his toys, breaking his things, getting into all his stuff he might change his mind

Re: my heart hurts

God he is such a sweet boy.

My two cents -- I think if you want to have another, then go for it. Scariness and all, if this is something you and DH know you want, now or later, then just do it. Sure, aidan is not going to get out of a little sibling what he wishes to get out of it, but they will grow old together and hopefully have as close a sibling relationship one day as you and your sister seem to have. Take a shot!!!

Re: my heart hurts

Thats so sweet! My husband is an only child and his main complaint about it was that he was lonely.

Give that boy a sibling or a huge hug!

Re: my heart hurts

I remember the day that Jordan came home from kindergarten crying and told me that she was the only one in her entire class that did not have a brother or sister(it was true). They were doing a project on families and it came up.
Well, she now has a lil sis that is 7 1/2 years younger and it has been amazing. Even with the age gap, they are VERY close and they interact sooooo much more than I ever imagined.

Re: my heart hurts

Re: my heart hurts

I am an only child and a very happy one at that. However, I remember also asking and hoping and praying for a sibling when i was younger. It's natural since that seems to be the norm in many other families. But having another DC bc DC#1 hates being an only child (at the moment) is not a good reason to have another child.

It's a passing phase, I wouldn't give it much thought.

I played with my neighbors and had a great time. My mom was also always too busy cleaning, cooking, etc to play with me. I love my mom and we are super close now.

My advice, have another child if and only if it is what you want for your family, not out of guilt bc your DS expresses some frustration about being an only child.

I am an only and so is DH - and we both at times contemplate having only 1 bc we enjoyed it and enjoy that we can lavish so much attention on our DS.

Re: my heart hurts

I love him.

I'm an only child too... the part about not having anyone else to blame things on... I think that's the part that made me really fall head over heels for him.

Other posters have mentioned it already and you are obviously aware too, but at this point any other child you have will be a second only child. I'm sure he will realize the benefits to his only child status in years to come but the negatives are more apparent when you're his age. By the time I was a teenager I was aware of the opportunities that I had that wouldn't have been possible if I had siblings.

He'll be okay, if for nothing else, he has an awesome personality!

Re: my heart hurts

Posted by jellybean1420

Your son is adorable

Being an only child and after reading his letter, it brings back some memories. Always asking my mom for a sister or brother as my Christmas or birthday present. And asking for a sibling was always my one wish when I blew out my candles on my birthday. Fast forward to today, while it would be nice to have a sibling, I actually like not having to share my parents with someone else and my kids get their grandparents all to themselves and they spoil the cr@p out of them.

And I'm sure when/if you have another baby, once the baby starts walking around, touching his toys, breaking his things, getting into all his stuff he might change his mind

Re: my heart hurts

Posted by LoveyQ

I'm going to throw this out there, and I know some people don't agree with me.

You will never have enough money or time for a child.

Ok, maybe not "NEVER" but you know what I mean. I'm not rolling in the dough and my DH works for the city so he's not either. We don't own a house yet. We don't have a sh*tload of savings. We both work fulltime with no option of either of us staying home with our child/ren.

I'm sure we won't be sending DS or any of his future siblings to $5000 sleep away camp for the summers.

And I'm sure there are other things we may not be able to do for him in the future.

BUT, he will always have two parents who adore him, who will teach him the true value of things, give him as many experiences as we can, etc. And so will any future children we have.

The fear ALMOST made me rethink having children. The older I got, the more that fear took over me. But I KNEW I wanted to be a mother. And we went for it and man, was it worth it.

You've already done it once and you know how great it is. Only this time, it will be BETTER for you - because this time you won't be doing it alone. You will have DH and you will have Aiden.

Re: my heart hurts

Posted by ruby

God he is such a sweet boy.

My two cents -- I think if you want to have another, then go for it. Scariness and all, if this is something you and DH know you want, now or later, then just do it. Sure, aidan is not going to get out of a little sibling what he wishes to get out of it, but they will grow old together and hopefully have as close a sibling relationship one day as you and your sister seem to have. Take a shot!!!

Re: my heart hurts

thank you to everyone for their kind thoughts and awesome support/advice...

I DO want another child, but felt as though I was "ok" with just one. Now, I'm not so sure...

I would never have a baby b/c my son wants one... but the fact that he wants a sibling and I do wish I had another-- makes me feel rushed. KWIM?

but then again-- I'll NEVER be truly *ready*

Re: my heart hurts

You're an amazing mom.

That's all I wanted to say.

Re: my heart hurts

You have one of the best relationships I can think of with your son. I've always respected your parenting. Be the mom you are and talk with him. You raised a pretty COOL son and he seems to be the kind of kid that can share his feelings with you but still 'get' your feelings. You know what to do.

But for coming across all those thoughts so unexpectedly.... it has to be hard. Sort of catches you off guard and almost knocks the wind out of you I would imagine. We suffer when they do

Re: my heart hurts

No advice.

Your son sounds so cute. I think it's absolutely hilarious that one of his reasons for wanting a brother is to have someone to blame things on.

Re: my heart hurts

aw!